...our moving in to a new season of life that is. Today is husbter's last day at work. Contrary to what I assumed, he went off with a happy frame of mind. It was good while it lasted, this work of his but he is leaving at just the right time because his senior management had started using him a lot for fire fighting and basically making him a scapegoat to get out of nasty situations. So hubster is actually relieved that he is out! God does have perfect timing!
In another news. I and Yohaan are going to go away to India (yes again!) for the time being or atleast untill a new job and an appartment is found for us to resume our family programming. Setting up shop in Sharjah would'nt have served any purpose except to add to our outgoings. so we decided to cut down by just splitting up and waiting for things to turn around. You might want to ask us as to why dont we just go back to our home country? Well, we have a huge house loan on our heads. Mortgage has to paid. And even though, Indian companies do pay well it wont be enough to pay off our housing loans. We are otherwise debt free but then this mortgage is a mother of all mortgages! Student loans, car loans, credit card loans all have been paid and put to rest. As a principle, hubster uses his credit card only under extreme emergencies, like if he is abroad and needs to shell out some local cash. He owns only one and that is hardly ever used. I dont own one and never have. I am mortally scared of loans and debts. Anyhow, I will be away for Christmas with my family while husbter will be here in Dubai looking out for jobs, appartments etc. Basically get started on all this and then we hope to re-join him. Soon! I hope!
I was very resistant to the idea of being away from him because I am one of those clingy wives. I can infact live in poverty but if husbter's job demands = more money=more hours away from home, that is not acceptable! As a corporate lawyer, he is anyways always in demand. It can be a killer but we try not to join the rat race and live simple. Although it is important to husbter to derive full job satisfaction more than money, he has somehow gotten sucked in to the corporate culture. Somewhere along the line he would like to leave all this and become a college teacher, teaching law to young students. He is passionate about law. I am happy with whatever he chooses to do with his career. All we want is that daddy should be home at a decent time! So me agreeing to go away is nothing short of a miracle which I believe only God could achieve! I hate going to India. For several personal reasons. But this time, God has given me the grace to be gracious and accept His will. And I know there is blessing in obeying his commands.
We do hope to be back soon. And guess what? I am such a typical woman. I am so excited about the prospect of setting up a new home yet again! In the last four years of being married and moving twice , I have learnt much in homemaking skills. I am looking forward to do up our new house. I know that Jesus has already marked it for us! Whether it is an appartment or a villa or a studio or whatever I am so going to enjoy decorating it, personalising it and making it a home! Infact, whenever I feel even slightly down (which is rare) with our current situation, I start day dreaming about our new place and it is an instant pick up for me! My long suffering hubster has been giving me ''oh no'' looks. But who cares. What's a woman got to do after all ! It will be like how we got married and moved here in the middle east to set up home. Yes!
We have witnessed some mighty miracles yesterday in answer to our prayers....be patient, all will be revealed in due course. We are seeing first hand how God restores and provides! Never doubt his goodness and faithfulness. When the time is right, I shall do a post on it here. It will be a mighty testimony and I hope many shall be blessed and encouraged by our story! What an adventure...all for His purposes and glory.
So it's all good. I will be spending a winter in North India after three or four years and that is truly making me happy. I luuuurve the cold season. And that prospect is keeping me happy. Yohaan's first harsh winter too. Lets see how he takes it. Grandpa and grandma are again going bersek preparing for our arrival. Goodness, he is again in for some serious pampering that boy!
Christmas is almost here! You guys have a lovely winter holidays and be well. I shall be around.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
To Love and to Cherish
I just finished reading an excellent book "What a husband needs from his wife'', by Melanie Chitwood. Full of practical advise and encouragement based on the Bible, I devoured this book. I have been married for nearly four years now and there are many times when I fail in my own eyes when I introspect about my role as a wife to hubster. He is an easy going, lovable man. Which makes it rather easy for anyone to like him and respect him. He is thirty three but much mature than his years. On the other hand I am not an easy person to figure out in the first place. Well, that's just me I guess. And so I get these self-doubting attacks...I often find myself wondering if I am a good wife to him. So this book landed in my hands at a good time because lately I have been again assailed by such thoughts. It can be a real pain let me be honest. Hubster is a man of few words , so any affirmation I am seeking from him isn't likely to come by easily, forget romantically.
This book really challenged me. It made me question a lot of issues we have between us as a married couple. Some small, some big but nothing alarming. Yet. I do honestly believe after reading this book that any sense of value, affirmation,eddification and appreciation that I seek from him has to first come from my faith in Christ. He is my ultimate groom and if I release my husband and my marriage in to His capable hands, I will derive even greater pleasure from being married to the man I call my husband. In my Father's eyes, I am precious and much valued. But there are times when lack of recognition and appreciation from hubster can bring me down. I sometimes long for him to say something kind/nice/appreciative-just to me, for me. He is not hard to please, but even if he is pleased with me, he wont affirm. I wonder how many wives,even though happliy married like me feel this way!
So when I went to church this morning, I asked God to help me accept hubster's ways. As well as to open his heart and eyes to this need of mine. Words have tremendous power over me. Verbal and written. I prayed that God would enable my husband to fulfill that need of mine. And no, he does'nt read my blog, so he is not gonna know!! I tried to do what this book suggests. Do not nag, do not demand, do not beg and plead, do not threaten...just release him and see how God enables the changes we want to see in our spouses. I kindof liked the idea. Now I am going to wait and watch in the next few days,weeks or even years. You never know, he may just thrill me by writing a book or a song on how brilliant his wife is!! Very funny, hah!
This book really challenged me. It made me question a lot of issues we have between us as a married couple. Some small, some big but nothing alarming. Yet. I do honestly believe after reading this book that any sense of value, affirmation,eddification and appreciation that I seek from him has to first come from my faith in Christ. He is my ultimate groom and if I release my husband and my marriage in to His capable hands, I will derive even greater pleasure from being married to the man I call my husband. In my Father's eyes, I am precious and much valued. But there are times when lack of recognition and appreciation from hubster can bring me down. I sometimes long for him to say something kind/nice/appreciative-just to me, for me. He is not hard to please, but even if he is pleased with me, he wont affirm. I wonder how many wives,even though happliy married like me feel this way!
So when I went to church this morning, I asked God to help me accept hubster's ways. As well as to open his heart and eyes to this need of mine. Words have tremendous power over me. Verbal and written. I prayed that God would enable my husband to fulfill that need of mine. And no, he does'nt read my blog, so he is not gonna know!! I tried to do what this book suggests. Do not nag, do not demand, do not beg and plead, do not threaten...just release him and see how God enables the changes we want to see in our spouses. I kindof liked the idea. Now I am going to wait and watch in the next few days,weeks or even years. You never know, he may just thrill me by writing a book or a song on how brilliant his wife is!! Very funny, hah!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Things people do
I follow the blog of an orthodox Jewish woman . I do enjoy her views on marriage, parenting and home making. I tend to agree with almost all her views inspite of having very different religious beliefs. She is also a first time mother and doing a good job. Earlier in the year she gave birth to her beautiful baby and then announced it on her blog. She then mentioned as to how she refused all help and visitors for a few weeks, opting to be alone and be with just her husband and the baby. She actually took that step as a concious decision. It was upon reading this that it struck me how this whole stuff can become a huge deal!
In the Indian culture people take pride in being involved in each other's lives. Period. So issues like privacy, individuality, choices, options and other such things dont figure high on anyone's list. I, personally have no hang ups either. Maybe because of my conditioning. I dont get offended when someone wants to enter my ''space'' and be a part of it. Which makes me think why wouldn't a new mother want all the help offered? What made this lady refuse people who were excitedly wanting to be a part of this momentous occasion? Agreed, after like hours of mindless labour pains and a public display of your body parts anyone would want to shut down. I have given birth and I know how helpless that feeling can be. Basically, you are at someone else's mercy who will cut you up, talk about the traffic scene with his/her colleagues over your open belly while you despeately hope that they can get the baby out safely and not leave a knife behing in your guts! And then there is mind numbing pain of every possible kind.
However, once I am fine and gone home, I would love to have friendly folks around. No incessant chatter is required but yes, a kind helping hand is such a boon. Sometimes, I wonder if some women, who put up a stoic brave, private, closed up front actually do so because they are too proud to be otherwise. I see nothing wrong in being vulnareble. In admitting you need help. Ofcourse, many people can have high thresholds of pain, both physical and mental, but the point is, I would feel sad if I push someone away when they want to show their joy and excitement by being around. There will be many moments when the new parents can be alone and soak up the awesome changes a baby brings. There will be no damages done if we let in people in to our lives briefly to share our pain and joy, alike.
Honestly, I cannot imagine saying no to anyone at such moments! I have had it happen to me. When we lived in London, a friend from church gave birth and promptly asked all of us not to visit-at all. Leave her alone! I was seriously aghast! How? Why? What does it achieve except maybe alienate friends who may be from other cultures! As christians , we have a Biblical and God given duty to be AVAILABLE...at all times. To invest in reationships! To be welcoming! Yes, our priority is first towards God and then our family. Then to the church and the community but having said that, I dont feel that new mothers should try and do it all by themselves! Yes, we all manage, eventually. Nobody has the time,energy or the inclination to hang around a new mom-baby for long anyways! But we should take our blessings and count ourselves lucky if we have people showing love and offering care. Becoming a new mother can be and is often an intensly isolating experience. It has been for me for sure! But then I truly believe that it can be a great way of reaching out to people for God! We are entitled to our full rest and recuperation but I imagine becoming a mother ought to make me even more sensitive about causing possible hurt and bewilderment to people around me. What do you ,dear readers, think?
In the Indian culture people take pride in being involved in each other's lives. Period. So issues like privacy, individuality, choices, options and other such things dont figure high on anyone's list. I, personally have no hang ups either. Maybe because of my conditioning. I dont get offended when someone wants to enter my ''space'' and be a part of it. Which makes me think why wouldn't a new mother want all the help offered? What made this lady refuse people who were excitedly wanting to be a part of this momentous occasion? Agreed, after like hours of mindless labour pains and a public display of your body parts anyone would want to shut down. I have given birth and I know how helpless that feeling can be. Basically, you are at someone else's mercy who will cut you up, talk about the traffic scene with his/her colleagues over your open belly while you despeately hope that they can get the baby out safely and not leave a knife behing in your guts! And then there is mind numbing pain of every possible kind.
However, once I am fine and gone home, I would love to have friendly folks around. No incessant chatter is required but yes, a kind helping hand is such a boon. Sometimes, I wonder if some women, who put up a stoic brave, private, closed up front actually do so because they are too proud to be otherwise. I see nothing wrong in being vulnareble. In admitting you need help. Ofcourse, many people can have high thresholds of pain, both physical and mental, but the point is, I would feel sad if I push someone away when they want to show their joy and excitement by being around. There will be many moments when the new parents can be alone and soak up the awesome changes a baby brings. There will be no damages done if we let in people in to our lives briefly to share our pain and joy, alike.
Honestly, I cannot imagine saying no to anyone at such moments! I have had it happen to me. When we lived in London, a friend from church gave birth and promptly asked all of us not to visit-at all. Leave her alone! I was seriously aghast! How? Why? What does it achieve except maybe alienate friends who may be from other cultures! As christians , we have a Biblical and God given duty to be AVAILABLE...at all times. To invest in reationships! To be welcoming! Yes, our priority is first towards God and then our family. Then to the church and the community but having said that, I dont feel that new mothers should try and do it all by themselves! Yes, we all manage, eventually. Nobody has the time,energy or the inclination to hang around a new mom-baby for long anyways! But we should take our blessings and count ourselves lucky if we have people showing love and offering care. Becoming a new mother can be and is often an intensly isolating experience. It has been for me for sure! But then I truly believe that it can be a great way of reaching out to people for God! We are entitled to our full rest and recuperation but I imagine becoming a mother ought to make me even more sensitive about causing possible hurt and bewilderment to people around me. What do you ,dear readers, think?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Yohaan-what's in a name? A lot I say!
This post is in response to a reader's question. She wanted to know the meaning/origins of Yohaan's name.
@Hirva: I am glad you liked my son's name. It is primarily a dutch name but has similarities in Arabic/urdu and Hindi pronounciations. It is a derivative of John and means "God has answered'' or "God has blessed'' or even "God has heard''. In Urdu and Hindi it is pronounced as ''Youhanna''. Some people spell it as Johaan with J silent.
We kept this name for him because I concieved him after much prayers and a longgg wait! He is our miracle baby!
Congratulations on becoming a mommy. Hope you are enjoying it!
Cheers,
harshika
Mommy to Yohaan.
@Hirva: I am glad you liked my son's name. It is primarily a dutch name but has similarities in Arabic/urdu and Hindi pronounciations. It is a derivative of John and means "God has answered'' or "God has blessed'' or even "God has heard''. In Urdu and Hindi it is pronounced as ''Youhanna''. Some people spell it as Johaan with J silent.
We kept this name for him because I concieved him after much prayers and a longgg wait! He is our miracle baby!
Congratulations on becoming a mommy. Hope you are enjoying it!
Cheers,
harshika
Mommy to Yohaan.
Shaken not stirred...
My life is a big pot of stuff happening. Like huge stuff. I have been away from my blog for too long again but then I always have ''huge reasons''. No I am not preggers. No nobody has died. Only, my dear hubster is on the brink of losing his job. The company he works for is closing operations after months of fire fighting on every possible front. Which essentialy means that we have to downsize our lifestyle drastically. Starting with giving up our lovely house on lease and moving to Sharjah in to a small ,small, small apartment. There is no way we can afford the mortgage here or for that matter even maintain the current lifestyle. Then hubster has to start looking for a new job pronto.
And how have we taken all this? Well, not too bad to be honest. Our world has turned upside down in a just a couple of days with us having no idea as to when or how our next pay check will come in. But guess what? It is alright. Absolutely okay. We dont have any cash reserves or savings. Although we do have our usual pension plans and life policies intact. So we are literally down. But not out. All I can think of right now is that amidst all this chaos, my Lord reigns supreme. He gives, He takes, Blessed be His name. Tonight we had a lovely spread for dinner. Homecooked. Chicken 65, Smabhar, Pumpkin-erishery, brown rice and mixed greens with baby potatoes. And I am thankful for the Lord's abundance. Earlier in the day, Yohaan choked on a stray piece of chopped onion he found on the floor. He puked his guts out, cried buckets and was back to his ''compulsive'' giggling and baby talk. I am thankful for his safety. Hubster is being brave, hopeful, humble, hardworking and ethical. Taking a stand to do right at the workplace in the face of panic and disbelief. He is able to encourage and uplift many colleagues who have collapsed emotionaly and mentally from the stress of the upcoming lay off's. I am thankful that he is able to do so with the help of his Lord.
We have decided to celebrate Yohaan's first birthday in this house and move in the immediate coming week. We have found an apartment for which rent has been untill may'10!! What a miracle! Hubster's brother has paid for it. And deferred the rent for us indefinetly. See!! Doesn't this all have God's hand of favour? Imagine, us paying our mortgage plus a rent! Two days ago, a lady arrived from India. We knew her as my former maid's friend. She came to us and struck a deal. She will work for us free if we give her a room and meals. We readily agreed because anyways we have an extra bedroom. So we dont need to pay her a salary, she does a good job keeping my house and cooking for us. In the meanwhile she will look around for part time work. How can I complain or whine about anything? It may seem there is total mayhem and time is running out but I am still and hearing God's reassurance. Not to be fearful. He will work out everything for us-for our good!
As hubster is fire fighting in every possible manner, I am just thankful that I have led an abundant life so far. Like Paul of the Bible, I have learnt to be content in plenty and in want. My God supplies everything. A laid off colleague of hubster's gave us a big can of formula and a pack of diapers which she wont be able to carry back to Philipines. What a coincidence that both brands turned out to be exactly what Yohaan happens to use! The mind boggles everyday as to how faithful God is! When we were engaged and newly married we had nothing. Just our bag full of clothes and our degree certificates. Hubster did well. We became parents and life was a bit too smooth. Now, time for those hard but invaluable lessons to begin! Bring it on, I say.
And how have we taken all this? Well, not too bad to be honest. Our world has turned upside down in a just a couple of days with us having no idea as to when or how our next pay check will come in. But guess what? It is alright. Absolutely okay. We dont have any cash reserves or savings. Although we do have our usual pension plans and life policies intact. So we are literally down. But not out. All I can think of right now is that amidst all this chaos, my Lord reigns supreme. He gives, He takes, Blessed be His name. Tonight we had a lovely spread for dinner. Homecooked. Chicken 65, Smabhar, Pumpkin-erishery, brown rice and mixed greens with baby potatoes. And I am thankful for the Lord's abundance. Earlier in the day, Yohaan choked on a stray piece of chopped onion he found on the floor. He puked his guts out, cried buckets and was back to his ''compulsive'' giggling and baby talk. I am thankful for his safety. Hubster is being brave, hopeful, humble, hardworking and ethical. Taking a stand to do right at the workplace in the face of panic and disbelief. He is able to encourage and uplift many colleagues who have collapsed emotionaly and mentally from the stress of the upcoming lay off's. I am thankful that he is able to do so with the help of his Lord.
We have decided to celebrate Yohaan's first birthday in this house and move in the immediate coming week. We have found an apartment for which rent has been untill may'10!! What a miracle! Hubster's brother has paid for it. And deferred the rent for us indefinetly. See!! Doesn't this all have God's hand of favour? Imagine, us paying our mortgage plus a rent! Two days ago, a lady arrived from India. We knew her as my former maid's friend. She came to us and struck a deal. She will work for us free if we give her a room and meals. We readily agreed because anyways we have an extra bedroom. So we dont need to pay her a salary, she does a good job keeping my house and cooking for us. In the meanwhile she will look around for part time work. How can I complain or whine about anything? It may seem there is total mayhem and time is running out but I am still and hearing God's reassurance. Not to be fearful. He will work out everything for us-for our good!
As hubster is fire fighting in every possible manner, I am just thankful that I have led an abundant life so far. Like Paul of the Bible, I have learnt to be content in plenty and in want. My God supplies everything. A laid off colleague of hubster's gave us a big can of formula and a pack of diapers which she wont be able to carry back to Philipines. What a coincidence that both brands turned out to be exactly what Yohaan happens to use! The mind boggles everyday as to how faithful God is! When we were engaged and newly married we had nothing. Just our bag full of clothes and our degree certificates. Hubster did well. We became parents and life was a bit too smooth. Now, time for those hard but invaluable lessons to begin! Bring it on, I say.
Friday, October 16, 2009
And life returns to normalcy
For five weeks I was away from home. It was not a pleasant holiday let me tell you dear faithful readers. But that is just me, always cringing when it comes to visiting my hometown. So I wont even talk about that here. For Yohaan though, it was mother of all holidays. He had such a blast that I am afraid my son wont ever develop a love for the land his parents call home now. His time spent at my parent's house was the stuff an ideal holiday ought to be. The kinds where you win hearts, become a star and everyone fawns over you as if you are the bestest baby in the world! His grandparents and their huge team at home ensured that Yohaan goes bersek freaking out. So there were dogs, cats, monkeys, goats, chicken and even a roadside show of elephants on their way to a temple! Can you just imagine what this boy must have experienced?
From the time we landed at Delhi till his very last day, there was simply too much to take in and I was afraid his little baby brain will explode with excitement. Friends, neighbours, aunties, uncles, cousins of all shapes and sizes and our man reigned supreme! Yes it was hot. There were mosquitoes. There was loads of power cuts. There was way too much noise all the time. Yohaan lapped it all. A cousin lent us his daughter's walker and our man was on a mission. Here- there -everywhere. He explored his nana's big house to his hearts content probably sensing that mama would have no say. So he did all that he wanted to. One day it was bits of newspaper in his diaper, another day a full ant! How did he manage to eat such lovely stuff, I have no idea because the brat would not come to me at all. He was too busy with the maids, their children and the neighbours kids. He would ride piggy back all over. Nana and nani ofcourse looked on fondly as their only grandchild made memories!
I am so thankful that he wan't sick even one day and his germ quotient is higher after this trip, thus revving up his immunity. In Dubai, his life is rather sterile. In India there's only so much dirt one can avoid and it works best for children if they are exposed to it early on. Especially brats from Dubai! He ate well, slept well and played hard. His being so busy and not needing me around at all, gave me a bit too much of rest and I have come back totally disoriented. I did not have to worry about dirty diapers, meal times and sometimes even nap times because there were simply too many volunteers. I just sat simling very proudly that my baby is such a social being and seems to love having a good time! Way to go darling! Mamma is super thrilled that you are such a son of the soil. LOLLLLL . I am indeed proud that you loved India so much! I promise we will will take you there as often as we can.
Everyone knows I love shopping. But this time the unthinkable happened. I didnt shop for myself at all! I did get gifts which made me happy. However, I shopped for our house. Picked up some lovely linen and antique brass ware. Also, some crafty stuff for Yohaan's room and first birthday which is next month and I have to get going on getting it all ready. I am still trying to visualise as to where I am going to use all the yummy stuff I bought....as and when I arrange it all I shall post pics.
Anyways, I am home. How I missed it. My plants, my garden, my bed, my room, my friends and my life in Dubai. Everytime I leave Dubai, I realise how much I enjoy living here. For me, this city totally rocks. And I have come back to awesome weather! Winter is on it's way and I am so excited. I have some lovely recipes that I want to cook. And make some changes around the house...settle in and begin to enjoy my life once again. One darling reader made my day by welcoming me back! Thank you http://homecooked.wordpress.com/ . I am so gonna try those coconut Macaroons for Yohaan's birthday by the way.
*Posts and skips away happily*
From the time we landed at Delhi till his very last day, there was simply too much to take in and I was afraid his little baby brain will explode with excitement. Friends, neighbours, aunties, uncles, cousins of all shapes and sizes and our man reigned supreme! Yes it was hot. There were mosquitoes. There was loads of power cuts. There was way too much noise all the time. Yohaan lapped it all. A cousin lent us his daughter's walker and our man was on a mission. Here- there -everywhere. He explored his nana's big house to his hearts content probably sensing that mama would have no say. So he did all that he wanted to. One day it was bits of newspaper in his diaper, another day a full ant! How did he manage to eat such lovely stuff, I have no idea because the brat would not come to me at all. He was too busy with the maids, their children and the neighbours kids. He would ride piggy back all over. Nana and nani ofcourse looked on fondly as their only grandchild made memories!
I am so thankful that he wan't sick even one day and his germ quotient is higher after this trip, thus revving up his immunity. In Dubai, his life is rather sterile. In India there's only so much dirt one can avoid and it works best for children if they are exposed to it early on. Especially brats from Dubai! He ate well, slept well and played hard. His being so busy and not needing me around at all, gave me a bit too much of rest and I have come back totally disoriented. I did not have to worry about dirty diapers, meal times and sometimes even nap times because there were simply too many volunteers. I just sat simling very proudly that my baby is such a social being and seems to love having a good time! Way to go darling! Mamma is super thrilled that you are such a son of the soil. LOLLLLL . I am indeed proud that you loved India so much! I promise we will will take you there as often as we can.
Everyone knows I love shopping. But this time the unthinkable happened. I didnt shop for myself at all! I did get gifts which made me happy. However, I shopped for our house. Picked up some lovely linen and antique brass ware. Also, some crafty stuff for Yohaan's room and first birthday which is next month and I have to get going on getting it all ready. I am still trying to visualise as to where I am going to use all the yummy stuff I bought....as and when I arrange it all I shall post pics.
Anyways, I am home. How I missed it. My plants, my garden, my bed, my room, my friends and my life in Dubai. Everytime I leave Dubai, I realise how much I enjoy living here. For me, this city totally rocks. And I have come back to awesome weather! Winter is on it's way and I am so excited. I have some lovely recipes that I want to cook. And make some changes around the house...settle in and begin to enjoy my life once again. One darling reader made my day by welcoming me back! Thank you http://homecooked.wordpress.com/ . I am so gonna try those coconut Macaroons for Yohaan's birthday by the way.
*Posts and skips away happily*
Sunday, October 11, 2009
And am BACK|!!
Oh, I cannot even begin to describe how terribly happy am I to be back home! Five weeks of forced vacationing, with no heart or soul in it, I just about collapsed with the sheer effort to hang in there. I and Yohaan arrived from India a few hours ago. My house..... the smells, the colours which are so me, my plants, my garden, my kitchen and the awesome spices I stock...my bed, my room...I am certainly getting old. Change overwhelms me now. I could not blog thanks to the pathetic connectivity at most places. But that's ok. I just let all my thoughts float around in my head till we would be back. But as of now it is late and I need to go facebook.
Dear two and half readers, thanks for faithfuly checking on me. I love ya'all....I shall be back with some good south asian masala soon.
Muah muah.
H
Dear two and half readers, thanks for faithfuly checking on me. I love ya'all....I shall be back with some good south asian masala soon.
Muah muah.
H
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Blah...
OK folks so I am certifiably the laziest blogger around. Cue for applause. Thank you, thank you.
I am acutely conscious of the promise I made of putting up some pictures of my revamped bedroom...yes, I know I havent done it. Yet. But. It. Will. Be. Done. As usual, my life has been a series of crisis this whole week. It left me feeling blah. Let me tell you all about it.
1. Yohaan fell again...from our bed this time. Because our man started crawling. Just like that. Without giving me any warning. I was not pleased at this unexpected development. I registered my protest with him while I tried to comfort him out of the shock and most likely some baby-ego bruising upon landing 'dah' on the floor. Thankfuly he is alive an kicking at that!
2. The part time maid of mine happens to be from Sri Lanka....ah, that beautiful island, have been dreaming of a holiday there since ages. All that lovely local handicraft shopping...awesome spicy food...and now no security threat...but I digress. So well, this lady has serious language issues with me. She barely speaks any English and I dont speak Singhalese. So madam has cleverly started dodging my instructions all the while pretending not to understand! Tomorow will be her last day. Sigh. Need I say more then?
3. On 5th Sept, we are going away to India for some kind of a vacation. In a fit of post-partum emotions , I promised Yohaan's maternal grandparents that I would bring him to visit them every six months untill he starts school. Now people who are close to me know that I dislike 'frequent' travel and most certainly hate my hometown. What can I say, we are patriotic- not. I have been away from India too long now and it's physical discomforts I cannot handle. Must be purely an age thingy. I have not started my packing yet and am hoping that by doing so I can postpone the finality of the departure a bit. My despair knows no bounds. I hate to be away from hubster so long, I hate immigration q's at the New Delhi airport...all in that order. I miss hubster. I dont get along with my dad after two and a half days and the 'noise' drives me mad. But that is because I live in an area which is practically a ghost town. Even the birds chirping could frighten me. We will be gone for forty days. Blogging? I dont know. Dont ask. How is this a crisis? Dont know. It is. Dont ask.
4. Invited a couple of European neighbours for what was supposed to be a proper Indian dinner party over the weekend. Food cooked by your's truly with great abandonment and excitement. The dinner table laid out beautifuly with marigold, brown and gold theme. Indian diyas in brass, flowers, the works. But, went overboard with the spices and chillies in the starters. Lets just say, some guests were too polite. So they waited , left and must have combusted in the comfort of their own homes. Dont ask.
5. I shopped for the usual gifts to carry home. They exceed my baggage allowance. Now I and Yohaan might have to travel with only our underwear. In Yohaan's case maybe just a few diapers. There is space for nothing else. Dont ask.
6. Hubster travelling to India, London, America all by himself. Without me. Albeit for work, but what the heck! I dont dislike travelling so much and what's he gonna do with so many airmiles? I find this most dodgy. If he wants to leave behind Yohaan I understand because Yohaan is naughty now. Me? Do ask. Him.
7. At another dinner party again over the same weekend, an annoying -very-old-man thought I am forty years old. That is eight years too much. First he is rude enough to think I am that old then has the cheek to say it to my face. I am not 'ageist', but dont take kindly to being considered older than strictly neccessary. I have since then been doing a lot of 'asking' the hubster ''baby do I really look so old?''. Hubster thinks it is one of those trick questions women ask men eg ''baby am I fat/do I look fat in this dress?'' So he has been vehemently denying everything. Good man that way!
OK nuff said. A few other things happened. But I just want to avoid thinking of all that now. Because OK let me admit it, inspite of everything my week was good too. Yohaan started crawling, grab and climbing up, saying mama (to no one in particular including the gardener) and loved his first bite of fish puree!!! I am like totally awwwwwwww. That gorgeous boy is after my own heart!
And thus the blah week ended.
I am acutely conscious of the promise I made of putting up some pictures of my revamped bedroom...yes, I know I havent done it. Yet. But. It. Will. Be. Done. As usual, my life has been a series of crisis this whole week. It left me feeling blah. Let me tell you all about it.
1. Yohaan fell again...from our bed this time. Because our man started crawling. Just like that. Without giving me any warning. I was not pleased at this unexpected development. I registered my protest with him while I tried to comfort him out of the shock and most likely some baby-ego bruising upon landing 'dah' on the floor. Thankfuly he is alive an kicking at that!
2. The part time maid of mine happens to be from Sri Lanka....ah, that beautiful island, have been dreaming of a holiday there since ages. All that lovely local handicraft shopping...awesome spicy food...and now no security threat...but I digress. So well, this lady has serious language issues with me. She barely speaks any English and I dont speak Singhalese. So madam has cleverly started dodging my instructions all the while pretending not to understand! Tomorow will be her last day. Sigh. Need I say more then?
3. On 5th Sept, we are going away to India for some kind of a vacation. In a fit of post-partum emotions , I promised Yohaan's maternal grandparents that I would bring him to visit them every six months untill he starts school. Now people who are close to me know that I dislike 'frequent' travel and most certainly hate my hometown. What can I say, we are patriotic- not. I have been away from India too long now and it's physical discomforts I cannot handle. Must be purely an age thingy. I have not started my packing yet and am hoping that by doing so I can postpone the finality of the departure a bit. My despair knows no bounds. I hate to be away from hubster so long, I hate immigration q's at the New Delhi airport...all in that order. I miss hubster. I dont get along with my dad after two and a half days and the 'noise' drives me mad. But that is because I live in an area which is practically a ghost town. Even the birds chirping could frighten me. We will be gone for forty days. Blogging? I dont know. Dont ask. How is this a crisis? Dont know. It is. Dont ask.
4. Invited a couple of European neighbours for what was supposed to be a proper Indian dinner party over the weekend. Food cooked by your's truly with great abandonment and excitement. The dinner table laid out beautifuly with marigold, brown and gold theme. Indian diyas in brass, flowers, the works. But, went overboard with the spices and chillies in the starters. Lets just say, some guests were too polite. So they waited , left and must have combusted in the comfort of their own homes. Dont ask.
5. I shopped for the usual gifts to carry home. They exceed my baggage allowance. Now I and Yohaan might have to travel with only our underwear. In Yohaan's case maybe just a few diapers. There is space for nothing else. Dont ask.
6. Hubster travelling to India, London, America all by himself. Without me. Albeit for work, but what the heck! I dont dislike travelling so much and what's he gonna do with so many airmiles? I find this most dodgy. If he wants to leave behind Yohaan I understand because Yohaan is naughty now. Me? Do ask. Him.
7. At another dinner party again over the same weekend, an annoying -very-old-man thought I am forty years old. That is eight years too much. First he is rude enough to think I am that old then has the cheek to say it to my face. I am not 'ageist', but dont take kindly to being considered older than strictly neccessary. I have since then been doing a lot of 'asking' the hubster ''baby do I really look so old?''. Hubster thinks it is one of those trick questions women ask men eg ''baby am I fat/do I look fat in this dress?'' So he has been vehemently denying everything. Good man that way!
OK nuff said. A few other things happened. But I just want to avoid thinking of all that now. Because OK let me admit it, inspite of everything my week was good too. Yohaan started crawling, grab and climbing up, saying mama (to no one in particular including the gardener) and loved his first bite of fish puree!!! I am like totally awwwwwwww. That gorgeous boy is after my own heart!
And thus the blah week ended.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
M.I.A.-Missing In Action
It has been a crazy week but then which one isn't! I have not been able to blog as much as I would like to. Hubster was away for business , Yohaan is becoming naughtier by the day, wait a sec, is naughtier even a word? Well anyway, and I have a house guest. Hubster's cousin brother staying with us for two months. He is a cool guest, very low maintenance. Doesn't need anythingl...and very helpful to have around. He is great with babies even ones as naughty as Yohaan.
So what have I been up to. Actually quite a bit. I have now started my 'Garden' project. I am slowly but surely working on it and preparing it for the next few months. I want it to be nice and pretty by the time Yohaan's first birthday rolls around. We are planning a garden party for him. So I have been surfing the net like mad looking for ideas but then gardening in this desert heat is a killer and so the progress is slow. I shall post before and after pics.
It is August already! Normally, I do a makeover/changeover mid year throughout my house. This year is a different story. I barely manage to breathe ever since I became a mamma! I have ideas and more ideas bursting in my head about the changes I want to bring in my interiors but am hard pressed for time and money both. Hubster has taken a salary cut and so things are tight. It seems everything must wait! While that is a sensible thing to do (I guess) my frustration knows no bounds when I have to supress my creativity. I am dying to do stuff. So tomorrow I shall be posting pictures of our bedroom. I have not changed the curtains etc, and have just recycled old linen but have managed to somewhat achieve the look I wanted. It looks serene, pretty and calm. The theme continues to be pistachio green and dark wood. I wish though, that my garden would look pretty too so I could enjoy a view from my bedroom window which looks out to the garden below. Never mind, we will get there. So please return for some refreshing pics and updates tomorrow.
Peace.
So what have I been up to. Actually quite a bit. I have now started my 'Garden' project. I am slowly but surely working on it and preparing it for the next few months. I want it to be nice and pretty by the time Yohaan's first birthday rolls around. We are planning a garden party for him. So I have been surfing the net like mad looking for ideas but then gardening in this desert heat is a killer and so the progress is slow. I shall post before and after pics.
It is August already! Normally, I do a makeover/changeover mid year throughout my house. This year is a different story. I barely manage to breathe ever since I became a mamma! I have ideas and more ideas bursting in my head about the changes I want to bring in my interiors but am hard pressed for time and money both. Hubster has taken a salary cut and so things are tight. It seems everything must wait! While that is a sensible thing to do (I guess) my frustration knows no bounds when I have to supress my creativity. I am dying to do stuff. So tomorrow I shall be posting pictures of our bedroom. I have not changed the curtains etc, and have just recycled old linen but have managed to somewhat achieve the look I wanted. It looks serene, pretty and calm. The theme continues to be pistachio green and dark wood. I wish though, that my garden would look pretty too so I could enjoy a view from my bedroom window which looks out to the garden below. Never mind, we will get there. So please return for some refreshing pics and updates tomorrow.
Peace.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Birthdays are no big deal....
My birthday came and went. I turned thrity two. Nothing happened. My memories of all pre-marriage birthdays are warm, love filled and definitly prezzies filled. My parents went to great extents to make each of our birthdays special, that is, of mine and my brother's. There would be a big fat family get together with amazing food,music and much merry making. My dad especially would be in his elements organising a special evening. Mom would ensure new clothes, candies and treats for school mates and much pampering. Uncles,aunts and cousins would outdo each other gifting me with all that was on my wish list.
Then marriage happened to a man in whose family birthdays are no big deal. That is a sad fact which I am still not very happy about. As it is, his family is extremely low keyed on every front and they dont do emotions at all. Being expressive is missing in the family genetic makeup and is the extreme opposite of my own family. I long to be accepted and fussed over as any daughter in law would expect. Well, thats not gonna happen here. So before I got married I think hubster made some effort in all that flush of luuurve. Now that we are married and officially hassled most of the time because of a baby, he didnt bother making it special. He did take me out for dinner. It was a rushed, last minute crazy affair. Yohaan had been very difficult the whole day and by the time it was evening I was tired, fedup and unwilling to go anywhere. Friends descended upon us bearing flowers and stuff so we kind of had to take them somewhere. Let's just say I couldn't wait for the evening to get over. Thats it. I will remember this birthday for being the saddest of my entire thrity two years. Only blessing? I am a mommy!
My mom called from India and sensed my sadness. I found it very difficult to hold back my tears... The sense of aniticipation which I used to have the whole week. How carefuly I would make my gift wish list confident that my family would grant it. All my favourite food which the cook would be instructed to make. The clothes shopping, the guest list....the flowers, the music and at the end of it all again a strange kind of excitement of looking forward to the next birthday already!
My mom kept telling me to do the same for Yohaan. Celebrate his life. Make each birthday a big memory. Let him know how truly special every year of his life is. And that is exactly what I plan to do. I am not letting my boy's birthdays pass by un-noticed. It may take a lot on my part to get hubster involved and excited. His first birthday will be truly special. And I dont mean expensive-special. Just special, like the way it used to be for me. Full of love, laughter and family and friends I loved.
Then marriage happened to a man in whose family birthdays are no big deal. That is a sad fact which I am still not very happy about. As it is, his family is extremely low keyed on every front and they dont do emotions at all. Being expressive is missing in the family genetic makeup and is the extreme opposite of my own family. I long to be accepted and fussed over as any daughter in law would expect. Well, thats not gonna happen here. So before I got married I think hubster made some effort in all that flush of luuurve. Now that we are married and officially hassled most of the time because of a baby, he didnt bother making it special. He did take me out for dinner. It was a rushed, last minute crazy affair. Yohaan had been very difficult the whole day and by the time it was evening I was tired, fedup and unwilling to go anywhere. Friends descended upon us bearing flowers and stuff so we kind of had to take them somewhere. Let's just say I couldn't wait for the evening to get over. Thats it. I will remember this birthday for being the saddest of my entire thrity two years. Only blessing? I am a mommy!
My mom called from India and sensed my sadness. I found it very difficult to hold back my tears... The sense of aniticipation which I used to have the whole week. How carefuly I would make my gift wish list confident that my family would grant it. All my favourite food which the cook would be instructed to make. The clothes shopping, the guest list....the flowers, the music and at the end of it all again a strange kind of excitement of looking forward to the next birthday already!
My mom kept telling me to do the same for Yohaan. Celebrate his life. Make each birthday a big memory. Let him know how truly special every year of his life is. And that is exactly what I plan to do. I am not letting my boy's birthdays pass by un-noticed. It may take a lot on my part to get hubster involved and excited. His first birthday will be truly special. And I dont mean expensive-special. Just special, like the way it used to be for me. Full of love, laughter and family and friends I loved.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Dying to be a momma
Again that is! The whole world knows that I adore kids of all shapes and sizes. I was born to be a momma. Now you know it too my dear two and half readers! Off late inspite of my ''the spirit is willing but the flesh is week'' state, I have been pondering upon thoughts of having another baby. I have been thinking thoughts of seducing hubster too in to the baby making business but more of that later. As of now, my body is simply not ready for another c-sec. Owing to my diabetes I have to be careful....but these thoughts take me back to the time when Yohaan was admitted to the hospital for a week this May.
Yohaan was in ward number three and one morning Abdullah walked in. All of three and half years, in his jammies, clutching an old ragged bunny, nose running and with a self important swagger. I could immediately see from his features that he had Downs Syndrome. He walked up to Yohaan's bed and smiled at him. Pointed out to him and informed me that Yo was a ''baby'' . And in that instant my heart broke. I fell in love. As I smiled back I looked around to check who were his parents. Nobody. There was a nurse rushing along with a bottle of milk and she came in and sat next to me. She told me Abdullah is an abandoned child. He was left at this hospital gates when he was just a few days old and now the ''palace'' owns him. I cringed at the use of the term but what she really meant was that the ''palace'' would take full responsibility of bringing him up. The ''palace'' in Dubai means, the ruler and his administration. It is a loosely used term to refer to the government sometimes since we have monarchy here. There was now a designated palace official who would be incharge of Abdullah's well being. That's good I thought. At least he wont be languishing on the streets...unlike milions of children in my own home country, India.
Abdullah had been admitted for mild pneumonia. He was having problems breathing but one look at him and you couldn't say! He was here, there, everywhere. Sometimes he would come to me and demand to sit in my lap, sometimes he would wander off to yet another parent in the ward. Whomever he went to, he won hearts. So openly affectionate and expressive. He took a great liking to Yohaan for some reason and wanted to play with him but ofcourse had to be kept away due to the risk of infection. One day he brought all his toys and dumped them on Yohaan's bed! Hubster tried to spend some time with him too. Whenever the nurses were too busy to keep an eye on him, he would be put in his crib with all the railing bars pulled up. Abdullah would then give hubster pleading looks to be let out...much like a little puppy! But we could see he was more comfortable with women care givers and mothers around rather than men, which made me feel better because clearly this child is being safeguarded well.
We left the hospital after five days. I tried to make inquiries if there was any possibilities of adopting this adorable little fella. The nurses informed us rather abruptly that it was not allowed, not even to Muslim expats. I was deeply disappointed because I know, hubster would adopt Abdullah in a wink! We came home but till date, we think of Abdullah and even miss him. He would make such a loving big brother to my little Yohaan. In those brief five days he left such a deep impression on us both. Inspite of his special needs, Abdullah's spirit has to be seen to believe. Happy and fun loving, full of joy and life! I hope one day, Yohaan too would grow up to be like that special child...
Yohaan was in ward number three and one morning Abdullah walked in. All of three and half years, in his jammies, clutching an old ragged bunny, nose running and with a self important swagger. I could immediately see from his features that he had Downs Syndrome. He walked up to Yohaan's bed and smiled at him. Pointed out to him and informed me that Yo was a ''baby'' . And in that instant my heart broke. I fell in love. As I smiled back I looked around to check who were his parents. Nobody. There was a nurse rushing along with a bottle of milk and she came in and sat next to me. She told me Abdullah is an abandoned child. He was left at this hospital gates when he was just a few days old and now the ''palace'' owns him. I cringed at the use of the term but what she really meant was that the ''palace'' would take full responsibility of bringing him up. The ''palace'' in Dubai means, the ruler and his administration. It is a loosely used term to refer to the government sometimes since we have monarchy here. There was now a designated palace official who would be incharge of Abdullah's well being. That's good I thought. At least he wont be languishing on the streets...unlike milions of children in my own home country, India.
Abdullah had been admitted for mild pneumonia. He was having problems breathing but one look at him and you couldn't say! He was here, there, everywhere. Sometimes he would come to me and demand to sit in my lap, sometimes he would wander off to yet another parent in the ward. Whomever he went to, he won hearts. So openly affectionate and expressive. He took a great liking to Yohaan for some reason and wanted to play with him but ofcourse had to be kept away due to the risk of infection. One day he brought all his toys and dumped them on Yohaan's bed! Hubster tried to spend some time with him too. Whenever the nurses were too busy to keep an eye on him, he would be put in his crib with all the railing bars pulled up. Abdullah would then give hubster pleading looks to be let out...much like a little puppy! But we could see he was more comfortable with women care givers and mothers around rather than men, which made me feel better because clearly this child is being safeguarded well.
We left the hospital after five days. I tried to make inquiries if there was any possibilities of adopting this adorable little fella. The nurses informed us rather abruptly that it was not allowed, not even to Muslim expats. I was deeply disappointed because I know, hubster would adopt Abdullah in a wink! We came home but till date, we think of Abdullah and even miss him. He would make such a loving big brother to my little Yohaan. In those brief five days he left such a deep impression on us both. Inspite of his special needs, Abdullah's spirit has to be seen to believe. Happy and fun loving, full of joy and life! I hope one day, Yohaan too would grow up to be like that special child...
Achy Breaky Bones
Honestly, I have no ideas bursting in my head to blog about. My days and nights often pass off in a blur and if I get time to even go to the loo I consider it a good day! So here I was, sitting on the toilet seat trying to take a quick leak with (who else) Yohaan also sitting in my lap. When I was expecting him nobody told me about this. This, that I may have to often lug the kid in to the toilet because somewhere between sitting up and trying to crawl babies can harm themselves quite happily and without a care in the world. Least of all without any thoughts for the poor,hapless parents! Yohaan is fortunately or unfortunately, no different from such babies. Which means that just as my bladder is bursting I spot him concentrating on trying to maneuver himself out of his bouncer on to the floor with an almost disastrous potential to kill himself...maybe...hmm, I think I am exagerating here. But you do get the drift, eh? I give up the battle and pick him up.
Our time in the toliet is action packed. With one hand I am trying to get my jeans unbuttoned, hold on to him. Sit down and hold on to him. He cranes around, lunges for everything he thinks he can chew on and I hold on to him. He tries to peer behind me when he hears some sound from within the toliet bowl and I hold on to him. He stiffens himself with some vague excitement when I use the flush and I hold on to him. I wipe myself, wash my hands while he bends over completely to lean in to the basin, I hold on to him. After much struggling we come out with my jeans pooling near my feet, I hope and pray nobody rings the bell and I dont trip! I put him down again in his bouncer and our man lets out a huge wail..waaahhhh....wt..? Well, mama not only cut short the adventures in the toliet she also put him back in his boring old seat, that is simply not on in his agenda for the day. *sigh* Hang on! I gotta pull back my darned jeans Kid! I dont intend letting any neighbour of mine have a free for all view of my backside!
Which takes me to the next problem. Why did nobody warn me that after the baby comes, every body joint would ache! And ache like -endlessly. My elbows and wrists are gone! Bummed! From lugging Yohaan around. For some women it is their backs...for me it is my hands. I have googled it and the wise internet tells me that I gotta live with it till he outgrows the need to be held so often. It has put me in a very bad mood. I stare at him ever so often now willing him to grow up fast, like really fast! Things have gotten so desperate lately that I find myself hoping for visitors to drop in and hold him for some time. We go to the malls, resturants, parks I am more than happy to offer him to perfect strangers. Anybody and everybody is free to carry my child. I shall not discriminate. Americans, Phillipnos, Pakistanis, SriLankans, Indians, Norwegians, Germans, old, young,men,women,children, teenagers, maids,drivers, CEO's, other mommas and daddies...anybody, just about anybody is free to hold my child. I will not even cry kidnap! Look here now, I dont resent this. I am enjoying being a mommy a bit too much but my body isn't cooperating and I need a break. My wrists are gonna get carpel tunnel, my elbows good for nothing, my knucles can forget about kneading any flour for making chapatis etc. I have had the baby so I better handle him yeah? Noooo. I need a human sling, NOW!
In return for services rendered, I shall do my bit. Since I am a socially concious citizen, I shall accost all mothers to be and warn them about these two issues. Woman, once you have a baby, you need to kiss goodbye to peeing in private and your body will make you familair with joints you didnt even know existed pre-pregnancy! There, that should do no? Now tell me readers, who amongst you is willing to volunteer? Pretty please?
Our time in the toliet is action packed. With one hand I am trying to get my jeans unbuttoned, hold on to him. Sit down and hold on to him. He cranes around, lunges for everything he thinks he can chew on and I hold on to him. He tries to peer behind me when he hears some sound from within the toliet bowl and I hold on to him. He stiffens himself with some vague excitement when I use the flush and I hold on to him. I wipe myself, wash my hands while he bends over completely to lean in to the basin, I hold on to him. After much struggling we come out with my jeans pooling near my feet, I hope and pray nobody rings the bell and I dont trip! I put him down again in his bouncer and our man lets out a huge wail..waaahhhh....wt..? Well, mama not only cut short the adventures in the toliet she also put him back in his boring old seat, that is simply not on in his agenda for the day. *sigh* Hang on! I gotta pull back my darned jeans Kid! I dont intend letting any neighbour of mine have a free for all view of my backside!
Which takes me to the next problem. Why did nobody warn me that after the baby comes, every body joint would ache! And ache like -endlessly. My elbows and wrists are gone! Bummed! From lugging Yohaan around. For some women it is their backs...for me it is my hands. I have googled it and the wise internet tells me that I gotta live with it till he outgrows the need to be held so often. It has put me in a very bad mood. I stare at him ever so often now willing him to grow up fast, like really fast! Things have gotten so desperate lately that I find myself hoping for visitors to drop in and hold him for some time. We go to the malls, resturants, parks I am more than happy to offer him to perfect strangers. Anybody and everybody is free to carry my child. I shall not discriminate. Americans, Phillipnos, Pakistanis, SriLankans, Indians, Norwegians, Germans, old, young,men,women,children, teenagers, maids,drivers, CEO's, other mommas and daddies...anybody, just about anybody is free to hold my child. I will not even cry kidnap! Look here now, I dont resent this. I am enjoying being a mommy a bit too much but my body isn't cooperating and I need a break. My wrists are gonna get carpel tunnel, my elbows good for nothing, my knucles can forget about kneading any flour for making chapatis etc. I have had the baby so I better handle him yeah? Noooo. I need a human sling, NOW!
In return for services rendered, I shall do my bit. Since I am a socially concious citizen, I shall accost all mothers to be and warn them about these two issues. Woman, once you have a baby, you need to kiss goodbye to peeing in private and your body will make you familair with joints you didnt even know existed pre-pregnancy! There, that should do no? Now tell me readers, who amongst you is willing to volunteer? Pretty please?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Life's simple peasures
This evening we have been asked out to dinner by hubster's kind-of -''client''. He is going through a bitter divorce and needs my hubster's professional advise. Although, hubster has been giving that already, in plenty, I am touched that he has included me and Yohaan also in the invitation. I am sure there is a lot he needs to unload and his lawyer's wife and kid might be getting in his way. But who am I to refuse a chance to dine out and that too at a stylish place. My life is pretty much home bound these days. I luuurve going out. If I had a choice, I would take up a room in a mall around town. Even if I am dead beat tired, I still don't mind going out. Hubster tends to like being home. Not me. Gimme an outing any time of the day and I am your girl. Absolute city girl.
The evening promises to be nice mainly because we will be dining at a new Indian joint at a mall close by. It specialises in doing Tandoori cuisine which is a personal favourite. I totally dig kebabs and rotis. Yummy. In fact, I cant make them so well at home much to my dismay. So am always looking forward to eat it at a proper Mughlai restaurant.
And how can a girl not talk about the clothes she plans to wear? I am planning to wear a red south cotton saree with a black and gold border. I got it this time from India and have been waiting for a chance to wear it. Agreed, with a baby it might be challenging handling it all, but am determined to lead a normal life. Will have to rope in hubster though, to help me drape it nicely. Pre-pregnancy I used to wear a saree only with high heels but I think that has to be permanently abandoned now in favour of some sensible flats. I do have a lovely one in maroon and black actually , which I think will team up well with the saree. Hubster will no doubt think, I am overdressed because anything other than jeans for him is over doing it. He seems to think mommies should be in the jeans-over sized shirts uniform all the time. I don't agree because with 24/7 of poo, booger, pukey, sleeplessness, baby talk and baby tantrums, a mommy needs a break and grab whatever piece of joy comes her way. For me it is an outing and the anticipation of dressing up. And that, is my simple pleasure folks!
The evening promises to be nice mainly because we will be dining at a new Indian joint at a mall close by. It specialises in doing Tandoori cuisine which is a personal favourite. I totally dig kebabs and rotis. Yummy. In fact, I cant make them so well at home much to my dismay. So am always looking forward to eat it at a proper Mughlai restaurant.
And how can a girl not talk about the clothes she plans to wear? I am planning to wear a red south cotton saree with a black and gold border. I got it this time from India and have been waiting for a chance to wear it. Agreed, with a baby it might be challenging handling it all, but am determined to lead a normal life. Will have to rope in hubster though, to help me drape it nicely. Pre-pregnancy I used to wear a saree only with high heels but I think that has to be permanently abandoned now in favour of some sensible flats. I do have a lovely one in maroon and black actually , which I think will team up well with the saree. Hubster will no doubt think, I am overdressed because anything other than jeans for him is over doing it. He seems to think mommies should be in the jeans-over sized shirts uniform all the time. I don't agree because with 24/7 of poo, booger, pukey, sleeplessness, baby talk and baby tantrums, a mommy needs a break and grab whatever piece of joy comes her way. For me it is an outing and the anticipation of dressing up. And that, is my simple pleasure folks!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Happy to be Home!
So it will be almost a week on Sunday without a maid and today marked a week with me taking over all my household chores. Even though the maid-from-hell left for India on Sunday, she went on strike on Thurs, which basically means she refused to do any work from that day on. Fine, I said and plunged headlong in to all things domestic. I mentioned earlier, we have had a crazy week but hey, I survived to tell the tale.
My mother who has domestic assistants galore back in India to manage her house, has been feeling very sorry for me. I understand her concern, but now I am a wee bit irritated. It's not like I am the only woman in the world having to manage my house alone! Far from it infact. I call her every morning and if I can't, she will call me instead and so we talk everyday,mother and I. We are best friends too. Which means I tell her everything. But that also means I am foolish because there are some things moms needn't know! Else they go crazy on you. In my case, mother decides to throw a pity party on my behalf. So she will rant and moan about how much her baby is having to handle. It is annoying. It is discouraging and above all tiring. I have told her that it is my house, my husband and my baby and errr, my garden too. So it is a pleasure looking after all of these. No issues.
Seven years ago when me and hubster met, we decided that once we got married, I would stay home and more so after a baby. We were both very sure and comfortable with the whole idea. We had already decided that we would downsize our lifestyle but would essentially live on his income. I would look after our house and he would go hunting and gathering. I was infact very grateful that he didn't assign me extra worth only upon getting a job outside or working on a career. He was delighted that I chose to stay home and serve our home and us. We as a husband and wife team, consider it an invaluable investement towards making a comfortable and a harmonious home life.
It gives me a deep satisfaction when he wakes up in the morning and looks forward to starting his day with clean and ironed clothes. He realises the value of freshly brewed coffee followed by a hearty Indian breakfast. He still thanks me everyday, even after so many years being together. And my heart sings! I love to make him happy, it is so easy! I have such a sense of accomplishment when a day's work is done as I look around. The house is sparkling, the bathrooms squeaky clean, beds made, Yohaan's food pureed for the day, hubster's lunch packed, laundry folded and as evening falls heavenly smells from my kitchen remind me that hubster must be on his way home. I love to cook. It is a stress buster for me and no matter how tired I might be, I make it a point to cook something nice for ourseleves because dinner is the only meal we have together. Although I am a control freak, with Yohaan's arrival I have learnt to let go a lot. So yes we dont follow a strict schedule for the day, we have plenty of fluidity to our routine. That means if the guest bathroom is not cleaned by mid noon so be it. If the plants have not been watered for the day, never mind. If Yohaan has not had his quota of fruits, no problem, I will give him an extra feed from me, which is better anyways. The point is we have fun. We are a team and above all as my blog title suggests, we are happy to be home!
I read so many blogs by women who talk endlessly about the virtues of being a stay home mom or a working one. Personally, it has never been an issue with me. I am higly educated with a profesional degree. Prior to getting married and two years in to marriage, I worked for some of the best known companies in the world. I have travelled a lot , I am well read and I have made my own money, plenty of it. It is a different matter that I blew away my money too...lol... anyhow, now I am at a stage in life about which I used to dream as a young girl. I have all that I wanted. A loving husband, a baby and a lovely home. Education and a job and travelling and living wild happened rather in an unplanned manner. It just happened to me. But all along I knew where I wanted to be and I am there!
Frankly I dont even understand why would anyone find it a point of contention-this stay home vs working woman thingy. Isn't it more about the freedom to choose? As women dont we get to choose? Although in my case, it helps that I am a christian so taking certain decisions becomes a lot more easier. I dont have the usual worldly pressures to conform, to seek after a career, wealth,prosperity and status. The Bible encourages us women to seek our fullfilment and identity as home makers and child rearers. I have no agenda. I have no urgent goals to achieve while working for outsiders and I am my own master. I decide when I get up for the day, what I wear, when I take a break or even take the whole day off!! For me it's a no brainer. And I do realise that it must be so for many women on the other side of the fence. I am sure they would find my existence mundane to the point of death-by-boredom. Well anyways, I would rather die peacefuly on my couch rather than the office cubicle! All I am saying is that I am happy with my choices which is what is true liberation and peace. I am indeed very happy-to-be-home!
My mother who has domestic assistants galore back in India to manage her house, has been feeling very sorry for me. I understand her concern, but now I am a wee bit irritated. It's not like I am the only woman in the world having to manage my house alone! Far from it infact. I call her every morning and if I can't, she will call me instead and so we talk everyday,mother and I. We are best friends too. Which means I tell her everything. But that also means I am foolish because there are some things moms needn't know! Else they go crazy on you. In my case, mother decides to throw a pity party on my behalf. So she will rant and moan about how much her baby is having to handle. It is annoying. It is discouraging and above all tiring. I have told her that it is my house, my husband and my baby and errr, my garden too. So it is a pleasure looking after all of these. No issues.
Seven years ago when me and hubster met, we decided that once we got married, I would stay home and more so after a baby. We were both very sure and comfortable with the whole idea. We had already decided that we would downsize our lifestyle but would essentially live on his income. I would look after our house and he would go hunting and gathering. I was infact very grateful that he didn't assign me extra worth only upon getting a job outside or working on a career. He was delighted that I chose to stay home and serve our home and us. We as a husband and wife team, consider it an invaluable investement towards making a comfortable and a harmonious home life.
It gives me a deep satisfaction when he wakes up in the morning and looks forward to starting his day with clean and ironed clothes. He realises the value of freshly brewed coffee followed by a hearty Indian breakfast. He still thanks me everyday, even after so many years being together. And my heart sings! I love to make him happy, it is so easy! I have such a sense of accomplishment when a day's work is done as I look around. The house is sparkling, the bathrooms squeaky clean, beds made, Yohaan's food pureed for the day, hubster's lunch packed, laundry folded and as evening falls heavenly smells from my kitchen remind me that hubster must be on his way home. I love to cook. It is a stress buster for me and no matter how tired I might be, I make it a point to cook something nice for ourseleves because dinner is the only meal we have together. Although I am a control freak, with Yohaan's arrival I have learnt to let go a lot. So yes we dont follow a strict schedule for the day, we have plenty of fluidity to our routine. That means if the guest bathroom is not cleaned by mid noon so be it. If the plants have not been watered for the day, never mind. If Yohaan has not had his quota of fruits, no problem, I will give him an extra feed from me, which is better anyways. The point is we have fun. We are a team and above all as my blog title suggests, we are happy to be home!
I read so many blogs by women who talk endlessly about the virtues of being a stay home mom or a working one. Personally, it has never been an issue with me. I am higly educated with a profesional degree. Prior to getting married and two years in to marriage, I worked for some of the best known companies in the world. I have travelled a lot , I am well read and I have made my own money, plenty of it. It is a different matter that I blew away my money too...lol... anyhow, now I am at a stage in life about which I used to dream as a young girl. I have all that I wanted. A loving husband, a baby and a lovely home. Education and a job and travelling and living wild happened rather in an unplanned manner. It just happened to me. But all along I knew where I wanted to be and I am there!
Frankly I dont even understand why would anyone find it a point of contention-this stay home vs working woman thingy. Isn't it more about the freedom to choose? As women dont we get to choose? Although in my case, it helps that I am a christian so taking certain decisions becomes a lot more easier. I dont have the usual worldly pressures to conform, to seek after a career, wealth,prosperity and status. The Bible encourages us women to seek our fullfilment and identity as home makers and child rearers. I have no agenda. I have no urgent goals to achieve while working for outsiders and I am my own master. I decide when I get up for the day, what I wear, when I take a break or even take the whole day off!! For me it's a no brainer. And I do realise that it must be so for many women on the other side of the fence. I am sure they would find my existence mundane to the point of death-by-boredom. Well anyways, I would rather die peacefuly on my couch rather than the office cubicle! All I am saying is that I am happy with my choices which is what is true liberation and peace. I am indeed very happy-to-be-home!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Done for the day!
Today has been a mad mad day! It is 1.00 a.m and I have only just finished my chores for the day. Hubster has invited over a childhood friend from Oman who will be staying over the weekend. My house is like that....always full of visiting guests. Which we don't mind but now is not the best of times. Anyhow, we got a major load of grocery done and I am feeling better that my pantry is well stocked for all the meals. I am anal about hospitality. It's got to be done supremely well, else nothing at all.
But the main reason why I had a mad day was that our man, Yohaan, fell from a three feet height head down, while I was out watering the garden. I wanted to get a better grip on him and so sat him down on the garden table. But as I did so, suddenly my right arm froze and I felt a sharp shooting pain go up to my neck. Something like a pulled hamstring muscle. In that split second, Yohaan slipped from my grip and went headlong to the ground. It happened so fast I didn't even get a chance to break his fall. He was not hurt but very very shocked and bawled! But amazingly enough, he stopped crying in less than a minute and was soon cooing away at the birds. I hugged him tight for several minutes, imagining the worst! Washed his face, gave him some cool melon juice and changed his diaper. Our man was good to go. Called the hubster and broke down....was shouted at by him but overall peace and calm soon returned because Yohaan was not hurt. It could have been nasty...only God's mercy saved him.
My right elbow muscle has been in agonising pain now since ten days. I feel it is because of lifting our man. Like how some new moms develop back ache etc, mine is the right arm and am not able to do pretty much anything. Anyways, like I said it is late now and I have only just finished putting away the grocery, clearing out the fridge , washing the dishes and marinating the meat. My day was redeemed however by hubster's comment: ''babe, you have lost a lot of weight''. I know he exaggerated a bit because I haven't lost a lot of weight but lets just say ever since the maid left, I am the new slave and hence it shows!!
But the main reason why I had a mad day was that our man, Yohaan, fell from a three feet height head down, while I was out watering the garden. I wanted to get a better grip on him and so sat him down on the garden table. But as I did so, suddenly my right arm froze and I felt a sharp shooting pain go up to my neck. Something like a pulled hamstring muscle. In that split second, Yohaan slipped from my grip and went headlong to the ground. It happened so fast I didn't even get a chance to break his fall. He was not hurt but very very shocked and bawled! But amazingly enough, he stopped crying in less than a minute and was soon cooing away at the birds. I hugged him tight for several minutes, imagining the worst! Washed his face, gave him some cool melon juice and changed his diaper. Our man was good to go. Called the hubster and broke down....was shouted at by him but overall peace and calm soon returned because Yohaan was not hurt. It could have been nasty...only God's mercy saved him.
My right elbow muscle has been in agonising pain now since ten days. I feel it is because of lifting our man. Like how some new moms develop back ache etc, mine is the right arm and am not able to do pretty much anything. Anyways, like I said it is late now and I have only just finished putting away the grocery, clearing out the fridge , washing the dishes and marinating the meat. My day was redeemed however by hubster's comment: ''babe, you have lost a lot of weight''. I know he exaggerated a bit because I haven't lost a lot of weight but lets just say ever since the maid left, I am the new slave and hence it shows!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My Little Trooper
....Yohaan that is. We have been terribly busy making hospital follow up visits for our man. At week five and again at month five, he suffered from seizures and both times had to be rushed to the ER. I remember those times, me hysterical and wailing and asking the doctors, nurses if my baby was going to die. Yes, raw pain does that to you. You dont think straight, you dont know how to. I remember each time his tiny body convulsed the nurses rushing to him, grim faced and working hard to bring him out of it. I remember hubster holding me tight and reassuring me that our man would live and he would live well at that. I remember breaking down when they couldn't find a vein to hook him to the various tubes and machines. The first time was especially agonising and the nurse had to order me to leave the room. Hubster stayed behind holding on to his son's fragile body so he wouldn't wriggle and thrash around in pain.
I stood outside the ER, crying loudly, tears of pain, helplesness, desperate to please God or bargain with him. At that point , time stood still, nothing the doctors would do was fast enough for me. Nobody was giving any answers. I heard terms like brain damage, oxygen supply cut, premature, hydrocephalus etc being thrown around. Untill the specialist on call made a snap diagnosis , that the baby was hypocalcemic and therefore convulsing. And her diagnosis was spot on. Nothing alarming, definetly no brain damage and curable! I almost kissed her in gratitude. She gave instructions for admitting him and getting him started immediately on calcium/magnesium infusion. We heaved a sigh of relief. We cried for 48 hours straight. Hubster and me. Maybe not him so much, but me as a mother was completely broken. My husband was stoic, brave and held up well because he saw his mad wife collapse. Ah, I do love that man, my pillar of strength. Yohaan was discharged after five days and things were right on track.
Untill he was five months old and his mother had like a fool stopped all medication. The convulsions came again. This time more in number and stonger too. As we rushed him to the ER, there was much history to support us all. Once again, the same protocol was followed although he took time to recover. Between these two episodes, we have consulted so many doctors, done so much research and been to so many hospitals. Made new friends, lost some . Realised the true value of a crisis and what it does to our person. Hubster and me have emerged so much more stronger. We have given up our baby to the Lord and know that we are only his caretakers here on earth for a brief while. And amidst all this who is the best of all? Our trooper, Yohaan. Pokes and pricks, bitter medicines, x-rays and scans, disrupted schedules and routines, student interns prodding him at unearthly hours, feeding sessions interupted and so much more and still this lil' fella smiles and smiles like theres no tomorow! Yohaan is easily the happiest, chirpiest baby around. Even with a canula splint he would be cheerfuly making baby sounds and smiling at all the staff at the hospital. Nurses would delight in him because he lapped up his meds. Visitors would be glad to see him still able to recognise them and leap at them to be held! This mother's heart is bursting with pride and awe.
And now, after six long months, yesterday his paediatric neurosurgeon pronounced him fit as a fiddle. He told us there is nothing wrong with him, espeically his brain and over all development. As I heard the doctor say these words, I almost choked trying to keep from crying. Hubster kept asking the same questions again and again , I think he was nervous and expected just something tiny to be still wrong! The doctor was confident but offered to see Yohaan after six months if it made us feel better. Kind doctor that!
To celebrate this awesome event, we picked up some yummy food on our way back, yayyy, I didn't have to cook. And lots of new clothes for our man. While I was picking out t-shirts and shorts for him, I must have told him ten times how much fun it would be if he was a baby girl, even hubster agreed on that, shopping for boys is almost boring! Anyhow, can't wait to see him in all the lawyer-like serious clothes his dad insisted we choose...I managed to pick up one bright red shorts though much to the father's shock! And so we came home with our hearts thankful and awed by God's goodness. For lessons learnt and for our baby surviving all of this. With a big goofy, toothless smile...always and for anyone.
I stood outside the ER, crying loudly, tears of pain, helplesness, desperate to please God or bargain with him. At that point , time stood still, nothing the doctors would do was fast enough for me. Nobody was giving any answers. I heard terms like brain damage, oxygen supply cut, premature, hydrocephalus etc being thrown around. Untill the specialist on call made a snap diagnosis , that the baby was hypocalcemic and therefore convulsing. And her diagnosis was spot on. Nothing alarming, definetly no brain damage and curable! I almost kissed her in gratitude. She gave instructions for admitting him and getting him started immediately on calcium/magnesium infusion. We heaved a sigh of relief. We cried for 48 hours straight. Hubster and me. Maybe not him so much, but me as a mother was completely broken. My husband was stoic, brave and held up well because he saw his mad wife collapse. Ah, I do love that man, my pillar of strength. Yohaan was discharged after five days and things were right on track.
Untill he was five months old and his mother had like a fool stopped all medication. The convulsions came again. This time more in number and stonger too. As we rushed him to the ER, there was much history to support us all. Once again, the same protocol was followed although he took time to recover. Between these two episodes, we have consulted so many doctors, done so much research and been to so many hospitals. Made new friends, lost some . Realised the true value of a crisis and what it does to our person. Hubster and me have emerged so much more stronger. We have given up our baby to the Lord and know that we are only his caretakers here on earth for a brief while. And amidst all this who is the best of all? Our trooper, Yohaan. Pokes and pricks, bitter medicines, x-rays and scans, disrupted schedules and routines, student interns prodding him at unearthly hours, feeding sessions interupted and so much more and still this lil' fella smiles and smiles like theres no tomorow! Yohaan is easily the happiest, chirpiest baby around. Even with a canula splint he would be cheerfuly making baby sounds and smiling at all the staff at the hospital. Nurses would delight in him because he lapped up his meds. Visitors would be glad to see him still able to recognise them and leap at them to be held! This mother's heart is bursting with pride and awe.
And now, after six long months, yesterday his paediatric neurosurgeon pronounced him fit as a fiddle. He told us there is nothing wrong with him, espeically his brain and over all development. As I heard the doctor say these words, I almost choked trying to keep from crying. Hubster kept asking the same questions again and again , I think he was nervous and expected just something tiny to be still wrong! The doctor was confident but offered to see Yohaan after six months if it made us feel better. Kind doctor that!
To celebrate this awesome event, we picked up some yummy food on our way back, yayyy, I didn't have to cook. And lots of new clothes for our man. While I was picking out t-shirts and shorts for him, I must have told him ten times how much fun it would be if he was a baby girl, even hubster agreed on that, shopping for boys is almost boring! Anyhow, can't wait to see him in all the lawyer-like serious clothes his dad insisted we choose...I managed to pick up one bright red shorts though much to the father's shock! And so we came home with our hearts thankful and awed by God's goodness. For lessons learnt and for our baby surviving all of this. With a big goofy, toothless smile...always and for anyone.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Just a plain mamma....
As I walk down the aisle of my local super market I spot her. I stop doing what I was there for and for a few minutes just stared at her. Perfect body, perfect skin, perfect manicure and a pedicure, beautiful floral summer dress which did wonders for her complexion, flawless makeup, the right shoes and bag, the mandatory blackberry and above all the supremely with-it attitude. I quietly admired her from far and moved on... to finish off my to-do list.
Compare all that to my state if you will. Straw like hair tied up in some unknown part of the head, nails cut sharp and cruelly short so that I don't end up hurting Yohaan, faded capris and an even more faded T-shirt which has some inexplicable stains on it, hastily applied lipstick which come to think of it, looks pretty incongruous....a huge handbag which immediately informs everyone that I am a new mommy, my sunglasses the stems of which have become so loose that it keeps sliding off my head at the slightest movement, unbathed, unwaxed, sleep deprived with a bad back and even worse pain in the wrists...hungry, coffee deprived, hassled because Yohaan decided to have a crying fit for some vague reason...a dangerous state to be in.
Now that I have it all out, I would like to inform anyone who cares that I am not having a pity party for myself here. I don't neccessarily want a manicure or a pedicure. I am not hung up on the latest bag although I do have several nice bags and shoes, I dont care for a new hairstyle because currently Yohaan tries his best to chew on it anyways, I am not going to pine for lovely clothes because most of the lovely clothes will make breast feeding in public a tad difficult, I don't want a Blackberry because errr, even the simple cell phone I do have is a major irritant at best of times.... no siree, I want none of those fancy things.
I want instead, more hours in the day, most of which I would like Yohaan to sleep. I want him to be more indipendant and stop clinging to me like well, a cling film I guess. I want him to know that daddy too can be a great companion when momma is busy and I want him to stop feeling bad for himself, the little brat loves attention and only from me that too! And I certainly wish he knew a bit of biology and realised that mamma has only two hands and sometimes needs to pee..urgently. And that if he doesn't let go of her, how in the world will she cook for him? Or get anything done for that matter. I shall not however miss the maid and am determined to stick it out. Yes for now the mighty may have fallen (snicker snicker) but we shall solve all the issues by sleeping them away....
*dust myself off , get up and walk away sans make up, pedicure,manicure....It's Ok, really!*
Compare all that to my state if you will. Straw like hair tied up in some unknown part of the head, nails cut sharp and cruelly short so that I don't end up hurting Yohaan, faded capris and an even more faded T-shirt which has some inexplicable stains on it, hastily applied lipstick which come to think of it, looks pretty incongruous....a huge handbag which immediately informs everyone that I am a new mommy, my sunglasses the stems of which have become so loose that it keeps sliding off my head at the slightest movement, unbathed, unwaxed, sleep deprived with a bad back and even worse pain in the wrists...hungry, coffee deprived, hassled because Yohaan decided to have a crying fit for some vague reason...a dangerous state to be in.
Now that I have it all out, I would like to inform anyone who cares that I am not having a pity party for myself here. I don't neccessarily want a manicure or a pedicure. I am not hung up on the latest bag although I do have several nice bags and shoes, I dont care for a new hairstyle because currently Yohaan tries his best to chew on it anyways, I am not going to pine for lovely clothes because most of the lovely clothes will make breast feeding in public a tad difficult, I don't want a Blackberry because errr, even the simple cell phone I do have is a major irritant at best of times.... no siree, I want none of those fancy things.
I want instead, more hours in the day, most of which I would like Yohaan to sleep. I want him to be more indipendant and stop clinging to me like well, a cling film I guess. I want him to know that daddy too can be a great companion when momma is busy and I want him to stop feeling bad for himself, the little brat loves attention and only from me that too! And I certainly wish he knew a bit of biology and realised that mamma has only two hands and sometimes needs to pee..urgently. And that if he doesn't let go of her, how in the world will she cook for him? Or get anything done for that matter. I shall not however miss the maid and am determined to stick it out. Yes for now the mighty may have fallen (snicker snicker) but we shall solve all the issues by sleeping them away....
*dust myself off , get up and walk away sans make up, pedicure,manicure....It's Ok, really!*
The one where everything comes undone...
...and I should shut up and stop gloating about my beautifuly run home even though I have a small baby and not so great health! As of tomorow , I will not be employing a full time, live in maid anymore. It is a long, sad story in which I have been hurt and bruised beyond belief driving home the point yet again that we really cant depend on people because they let us down again and again. While the maid was efficient and served us well from the day Yohaan was born, we reached a stage when the price became too high to pay. She turned out to be a maid-from-hell and I am so relieved to be getting rid of her-at last. Half of my post partum blues wouldnt go away because of dealing with her tantrums and what not....! Anyhow,me and hubster decided that we can do away with a whole lot of comfort and luxury in terms of having a live in maid in exchange for peace and harmony at home. We had been trying to terminate her services from quite some time now, but kept feeling bad for her since she really is from a very poor family. But obviously, our help wasnt needed, our kindness and genrosity taken for granted and the final icing being us taken for a royal ride!
I have been busy like crazy the whole day...cooking,cleaning, baby sitting and I feel like kicking myself for letting go of the reins of the house completely...it was such an effort to get back to the grind...I am tired, stressed and need of a long hot shower followed by some good, Indian dinner. Am off to nag hubster now to take me out......wish me luck folks! I am the new 'avtaar', the new in house slave to Yohaan and his daddy!
I have been busy like crazy the whole day...cooking,cleaning, baby sitting and I feel like kicking myself for letting go of the reins of the house completely...it was such an effort to get back to the grind...I am tired, stressed and need of a long hot shower followed by some good, Indian dinner. Am off to nag hubster now to take me out......wish me luck folks! I am the new 'avtaar', the new in house slave to Yohaan and his daddy!
Monday, June 29, 2009
For Yohaan at seven months today
My boy is exactly seven months old today. Lying down next to me making baby noises as I quickly put up this post... it has been a great ride and I have survived pretty well so far.... a friend forwarded this sort-of-poem to me but we both dont know who wrote it or even the source... if any one of you readers knows about him/her/the source please let me know so I can quote them here, I am enjoying being a mommy too much and and am in no mood getting in to plaigarising hassles because if I am imprisoned for it (anything can happen in this day and age!) I dont want hubster remarrying and getting Yohaan a step mommy!! OK, with that taken care of , let me just get on with it. It is totally awwww.
Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.! I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom .
Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.! I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom .
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Hijab
The French president Mr Sarkozy has ordained that the Muslim women in his land shall not be allowed to use the veil anymore... the decision has caused an upheaval all over the world, Muslim or non Muslim. I live in an islamic republic and have so many friends who practise islam. My Muslim girlfriends in particular, are immensly accomplished. Highly educated, well travelled and deeply intellectual. They come from all walks of life and it is an honour to be friends with them. I dont see them being forced in to covering up by anyone whatsoever! If anything, they are some of the most liberated women I have come across. No, I dont get distracted when I interact with them and no, neither does it take anything away from their lovely personalities. So when a decree like this comes from a supposedly politically and culturally enlightened nation like France, it makes me want to take sides.
It is said that the islamic veil is not a religous symbol but rather a personal choice and an effort to seek closeness to God and a certain degree of detachment from vanity, an effort to focus on the holy and the godly manners which might be pleasing to God. I say what is wrong with that?
Precisely if it is not even a religous symbol why should it bother anyone? I dont find it offensive or weird or reggressive or even remotely reminiscent of a millitant minded individual out to bomb us all! It is a personal choice, for godness sake! It is a dilemma for me because I cannot imagine someone coming up to me and ordering me to cover up! What I find troubling is the way France is going the Saudi way... dont we know the strict dress codes imposed on one and all in Saudi Arabia, we all disagree with it but cannot do much about it. Why does a country like France need to emulate them? I think it doesn't bode well. What I find reggressive instead is, that any government or nation, man or woman imposing rules on us and taking away the right to choose. I as a woman will decide the way I want to dress myself.
In the same vein, what is so great about showing skin like you dont even value yourself ? What kind of satisfaction does a woman get out of flashing skin and getting stares from all and sundry? Why would she enjoy this kind of attention? I for one, endorse the idea of modest dressing completly. It is something I admire and encourage young girls to adopt. It especially takes courage to take a stand and say no popular culture and to be able to swim against the tide. If I had a daugther I would be pretty upset if she felt admired, accepted, considered hip and modern only if she bared her skin! It would reflect on my parenting standards if she sought such thrills... to be admired for her brains, pleasing manners, skills, and intellect would make me feel proud to be her parent. It wont take rocket science to figure which side I am on!
So no, I dont think Sarkozy should have announced this weird edict. And anyways, I really feel he should focus on more pressing issues like a failing economy and loss of jobs and similar such stuff. Leave the clothes (or the lack thereof) to us women Mr Prez! Now now, nobody is forcing your lovely wife to cover up are we??
It is said that the islamic veil is not a religous symbol but rather a personal choice and an effort to seek closeness to God and a certain degree of detachment from vanity, an effort to focus on the holy and the godly manners which might be pleasing to God. I say what is wrong with that?
Precisely if it is not even a religous symbol why should it bother anyone? I dont find it offensive or weird or reggressive or even remotely reminiscent of a millitant minded individual out to bomb us all! It is a personal choice, for godness sake! It is a dilemma for me because I cannot imagine someone coming up to me and ordering me to cover up! What I find troubling is the way France is going the Saudi way... dont we know the strict dress codes imposed on one and all in Saudi Arabia, we all disagree with it but cannot do much about it. Why does a country like France need to emulate them? I think it doesn't bode well. What I find reggressive instead is, that any government or nation, man or woman imposing rules on us and taking away the right to choose. I as a woman will decide the way I want to dress myself.
In the same vein, what is so great about showing skin like you dont even value yourself ? What kind of satisfaction does a woman get out of flashing skin and getting stares from all and sundry? Why would she enjoy this kind of attention? I for one, endorse the idea of modest dressing completly. It is something I admire and encourage young girls to adopt. It especially takes courage to take a stand and say no popular culture and to be able to swim against the tide. If I had a daugther I would be pretty upset if she felt admired, accepted, considered hip and modern only if she bared her skin! It would reflect on my parenting standards if she sought such thrills... to be admired for her brains, pleasing manners, skills, and intellect would make me feel proud to be her parent. It wont take rocket science to figure which side I am on!
So no, I dont think Sarkozy should have announced this weird edict. And anyways, I really feel he should focus on more pressing issues like a failing economy and loss of jobs and similar such stuff. Leave the clothes (or the lack thereof) to us women Mr Prez! Now now, nobody is forcing your lovely wife to cover up are we??
Friday, June 26, 2009
R.I.P MJ..
I was/am a fan of Michael Jackson. I cannot name a single song or a video of his which I do not like ...and now he is dead! Just like that, gone! What a wasted life, such a tragedy and an example to us lesser mortals as to how we run from God and His desire to save us from our selves... despite his cuckoo behaviour, I admired this artist for making awesome music. An artist with a soul in turmoil, an artist who was his own worst enemy... the sheer talent, the mass appeal, the impact on millions of fans ...a whole generation which grew up listening to him, including me.
I am trying not to think of his last few years on earth. Instead, I am sobered by the thought , that life is indeed fragile and nothing we , possess or achieve can help us get that peace and freedom from fear which a faith in Christ-alone, can give us. I am blessed to be a christian and I wish Michael Jackson knew of the saving power of Jesus...neverthelss, I hope when the time of reckoning comes, he will find that God is just and able to forgive and accept us. Really, really wish you knew that MJ! Rest in peace dear one.
I am trying not to think of his last few years on earth. Instead, I am sobered by the thought , that life is indeed fragile and nothing we , possess or achieve can help us get that peace and freedom from fear which a faith in Christ-alone, can give us. I am blessed to be a christian and I wish Michael Jackson knew of the saving power of Jesus...neverthelss, I hope when the time of reckoning comes, he will find that God is just and able to forgive and accept us. Really, really wish you knew that MJ! Rest in peace dear one.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I AM SPEECHLESS.
Woke up nice and bright this morning. My little world perfect, neat and largely happy. My pretty house, the lovely garden, my large group of friends, my perfect husband (who, by the way, still has a job in these tough times) and a healthy baby...everything is in place. Domestic help, gardener and what have you- others working hard to keep me happy and at peace. My biggest concern in the morning is to ensure hubster gets to eat a good breakfast or what fruit to puree for Yohaan's morning meal or even wondering if husbster would be coming home late from work and if we can go out somewhere for the evening to relieve a little boredom. That's how earth shattering my average day's concerns can be!
Then I read this post ,
http://themadmomma.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/so-you-thought-the-last-hospital-was-bad/#comment-8001 and am plunged in to a deep despair. The mind boggles as to how can this/does happen in this day and age, in a country which claims to be a super power in the making! A country which prides itself on a rich cultural heritage, on producing world class engineers and IT professionals, doctors, teachers, artists. A country which has stunning diversity and the largest democratically elected government. A country which has a hindu and a muslim or a christian and a buddhist living together for generations...and yet Indians never fail to surprise me in taking the lead- in being one of the most apathetic races on earth. The sheer apathy and the callousness of our hearts is deeply, deeply painful.
I am no different, and that to me, is the unforgivable part.
Then I read this post ,
http://themadmomma.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/so-you-thought-the-last-hospital-was-bad/#comment-8001 and am plunged in to a deep despair. The mind boggles as to how can this/does happen in this day and age, in a country which claims to be a super power in the making! A country which prides itself on a rich cultural heritage, on producing world class engineers and IT professionals, doctors, teachers, artists. A country which has stunning diversity and the largest democratically elected government. A country which has a hindu and a muslim or a christian and a buddhist living together for generations...and yet Indians never fail to surprise me in taking the lead- in being one of the most apathetic races on earth. The sheer apathy and the callousness of our hearts is deeply, deeply painful.
I am no different, and that to me, is the unforgivable part.
Mary Mary Quite Contrary
How does your garden grow? Honestly folks, I wish I knew it myself! All I know is that I possess a ''green thumb'' . In the sense, that whatever I plant, thrives. I remember my mother asking me to help plant her seasonal shrubs and pots because she believed that those done by me would take root and grow well. I never had any interest in gardening per se but I would occasionally lend a hand. My gardener has often been spotted trying to suppress a smile because of my sheer lack of knowledge of all things green and because I may have asked him a particularly dumb question. *sigh*
Even now, I confess I do all the gardening and planting because I want my house and garden to look pretty. If someone told me that things would jazz up with some dog poo lying around and if I happen to like ''that'' look, I will go for it. I am aware as to how idiotic that must make me sound to you dear readers, but lets face it, I am house-vain! Nuff said.
For now do have a look at the lovely entrance of my house. I did it all up one fine morning, in a flash of brilliance and was given a huge helping hand by my maid, Sunita who enjoys home decor as much as me! She is brimming over with some lovely ideas for our garden and backyard and I can’t wait to try them pronto!
Even now, I confess I do all the gardening and planting because I want my house and garden to look pretty. If someone told me that things would jazz up with some dog poo lying around and if I happen to like ''that'' look, I will go for it. I am aware as to how idiotic that must make me sound to you dear readers, but lets face it, I am house-vain! Nuff said.
For now do have a look at the lovely entrance of my house. I did it all up one fine morning, in a flash of brilliance and was given a huge helping hand by my maid, Sunita who enjoys home decor as much as me! She is brimming over with some lovely ideas for our garden and backyard and I can’t wait to try them pronto!
This is where we live.Welcome....!
The day I went green-2
It was last year that I did a post on getting some plants for my house. I was pregnant and going through an intense nesting phase. One year on and I have been once again bitten by the green bug. I am on a mission and have launched on an ambitious project of landscaping my garden as well as doing up the front entrance of our house. Tara of http://tarabhatt.blogspot.com/ , a new blog follower of mine, has been encouraging me to put up some pictures. So here goes...this one's for you Tara! Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
The stairs leading to the bedrooms...
Small planter holding crotons...
Dont know what plants are these....
This one stands quite tall in a corner...
Me and hubster take our place along with the Giraffe here...
PS- Lotsa more pics coming your way people!
Please note: I do not know the names of any of these plants, except the asparagus ferns. So dont go testing my knowledge. I just plant whatever takes my fancy and suits my budget!
The stairs leading to the bedrooms...
Small planter holding crotons...
Dont know what plants are these....
This one stands quite tall in a corner...
Me and hubster take our place along with the Giraffe here...PS- Lotsa more pics coming your way people!
Please note: I do not know the names of any of these plants, except the asparagus ferns. So dont go testing my knowledge. I just plant whatever takes my fancy and suits my budget!
Fathers Day - Update
Our man Yohaan has some kind of an internal clock within him. In my previous post I was wondering if he would wake up to meet and greet his dad in the evening. Well, he woke up just in time, I gave him some fresh orange juice and we were ready to go. Nothing like a fresh, cool drink after a nap eh? When hubster rang the bell we, that is, Yohaan, the maid and myself, scampered around frantically because in a bid to hide the card I forgot where I had kept it....anyways, managed to locate it just as daddy would have started losing his patience at the door! Dad was greeted by us at the door with Yohaan and me holding his card although our man was more interested in chewing the darned thing! I think daddy was suitably touched espeically seeing Yohaan's hand and foot prints...I wrote out a small poem taken from the net but could not locate the source :( so maybe I shouldnt publish it here for copyright reasons. Im not a lawyer's wife for nothing after all. We just about managed to take some pictures and then the little one promptly fell asleep again. Here are some pictures.
Father and son...posing for my blog.
The card I made for hubster on Yohaan's behalf. Note the lil hand & feet prints.
Father and son...posing for my blog. PS- I got nothing for mamma's day :(
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Daddy's day...
It is 20.30 UAE time and daddy is still not home. I and Yohaan have made a little card and some Kheer( Indian version of the rice pudding) for him because it would be his first Father's day!!
We are, rather we were very excited about the whole thing but for now Yohaan is already fast asleep on a full tummy! Yohaan tried to chew on the card and kind of sensed something different is happening. I got him ready an hour ago...massage, bath, pear and rice cereal - to be ready to greet his father in a somewhat decent mood...hopefuly when daddy arrives, we can surprise him! Incase, he does'nt wake up, I will just have to hand over the card on his behalf and try to take some pictures. Sneakily enough, I tricked hubster in to getting us some Indian takeaway!! So we can celebrate in style!
Watch this space for programme update folks!!
We are, rather we were very excited about the whole thing but for now Yohaan is already fast asleep on a full tummy! Yohaan tried to chew on the card and kind of sensed something different is happening. I got him ready an hour ago...massage, bath, pear and rice cereal - to be ready to greet his father in a somewhat decent mood...hopefuly when daddy arrives, we can surprise him! Incase, he does'nt wake up, I will just have to hand over the card on his behalf and try to take some pictures. Sneakily enough, I tricked hubster in to getting us some Indian takeaway!! So we can celebrate in style!
Watch this space for programme update folks!!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
All's well within my world...
So this whole of past week I have been on my own with just Yohaan and our maid. Funny how when daddy is not home, I smoothly step in and take charge. Including, driving his big huge SUV, which by the way, makes me immensly proud of myself. I run around getting all the outside work done and get a perspective on how much my husband atually does for our home, so it runs smoothly. Just driving around Dubai is enough to make me give him an award!
I had stepped out to get some last minute groceries but as I was driving back, I was hoping hubster would be home. And sure enough, as I stepped in I saw father and son sitting together with all the new toys and books which have been picked up from his trip abroad. The sight was supremely cute and my heart duly turned to mush. The two most important guys in my life happily catching up. The maid told me that ''baba'' as she addresses him, leapt in to his dad's arms as soon as he walked in! This is it. Every day is a new development. Untill last week, just before hubster went away, Yohaan did not really notice him especially with me around. One week later, he achieves another milestone- recognising someone else other than his mother! At such times, I hastily put away the sorely tempting thoughts of renting him out for a few hours each day. Wicked mamma, I know.
Much excitement, hugging, kissing, general squealing and a cup of coffee later, father and son are upstairs in our bedroom, sleeping it off together. I let him go, an important step for me , my boy does'nt neccessarily need me now to put him to sleep, daddy will do fine too, sometimes! As I close the door on them and soflty tip toe down the stairs I find myself thanking God for bringing back hubster safe home. That Yohaan did well with daddy being gone and that I didnt crash his precious four wheel. All's well within my world indeed!
I had stepped out to get some last minute groceries but as I was driving back, I was hoping hubster would be home. And sure enough, as I stepped in I saw father and son sitting together with all the new toys and books which have been picked up from his trip abroad. The sight was supremely cute and my heart duly turned to mush. The two most important guys in my life happily catching up. The maid told me that ''baba'' as she addresses him, leapt in to his dad's arms as soon as he walked in! This is it. Every day is a new development. Untill last week, just before hubster went away, Yohaan did not really notice him especially with me around. One week later, he achieves another milestone- recognising someone else other than his mother! At such times, I hastily put away the sorely tempting thoughts of renting him out for a few hours each day. Wicked mamma, I know.
Much excitement, hugging, kissing, general squealing and a cup of coffee later, father and son are upstairs in our bedroom, sleeping it off together. I let him go, an important step for me , my boy does'nt neccessarily need me now to put him to sleep, daddy will do fine too, sometimes! As I close the door on them and soflty tip toe down the stairs I find myself thanking God for bringing back hubster safe home. That Yohaan did well with daddy being gone and that I didnt crash his precious four wheel. All's well within my world indeed!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Rescue me...
My momma is mostly nice, but once in a while she is tempted to gobble me up and then she cribs about all the weight I am supposed to have caused her to gain!!
You dont believe? Can't you see how hard she is trying not to bite in to me...?
Random worrying
Tell me, will I be considered a certified weirdo if I reveal the things which have been occupying my mind ever since I became a mom? Here, have a look:
* My son will marry and go away one day.... ( this triggers more reasons to worry)
* He will marry a girl I wont take an instant liking to....
* She will be a perfect pain in the....
*He will always take her side........
*She wont let me mother him....
*She wont give me any credit for all the nice upbringing he will have....
*She will always always always blame me for spoiling him for life....
*Together, my son and his wife will send me and hubster to an old peoples home...
Needless to add, my hormones have still not settled down even six months post preggers!
* My son will marry and go away one day.... ( this triggers more reasons to worry)
* He will marry a girl I wont take an instant liking to....
* She will be a perfect pain in the....
*He will always take her side........
*She wont let me mother him....
*She wont give me any credit for all the nice upbringing he will have....
*She will always always always blame me for spoiling him for life....
*Together, my son and his wife will send me and hubster to an old peoples home...
Needless to add, my hormones have still not settled down even six months post preggers!
Disclaimer (not)
So this mommyhood has me firmly in it's grip. I have been rendered pretty useless for any kind of normal adult behaviour and conversation. While this is not a standard apology, I feel I must really tell all my friends in this world who are not yet parents that guys, I am sorry for going on ad infinetum (sp?) , nauseaum (sp?) ( I suck at latin)- about smelly poo, puke, booogers, Cerelac, engorged breasts, cracked nipples, stretch marks, weight gain and it's sheer defiance to come off, sleepless nights, romance gone walking, hormones haywire and what have you.
For the life of me, I fail to understand that maybe most of you might not be even remotely interested in the aforementioned issues. So, for those of you who are missing the old Harshika, let me be kind and advise you that it will be a long time or maybe never, before you get to see her again....I find it difficult to think of non-Yohaan posts... and so today I went out for a walk to seek some inspiration for a non-baby blogworthy post and came back with guess what... yep, more thoughts of Yohaan and how much I missed him during my walk!!
No not sad really, but I did try and apologise already. Okay? OK.
For the life of me, I fail to understand that maybe most of you might not be even remotely interested in the aforementioned issues. So, for those of you who are missing the old Harshika, let me be kind and advise you that it will be a long time or maybe never, before you get to see her again....I find it difficult to think of non-Yohaan posts... and so today I went out for a walk to seek some inspiration for a non-baby blogworthy post and came back with guess what... yep, more thoughts of Yohaan and how much I missed him during my walk!!
No not sad really, but I did try and apologise already. Okay? OK.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
And baby makes three!
And am back! This post was meant to be done quite some time ago, last year infact, about becoming a mother and all that jazz. Yohaan happened, and how he happened! Life underwent such a huge change that I ended up imposing a sabbatical on myself and my dear blog! Six months on and I am still at a loss for words. But let me try anyways.
What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!
Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?
You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!
I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!
I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!
Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and hope...you make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!
What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!
Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?
You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!
I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!
I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!
Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and hope...you make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!
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