Friday, November 20, 2009

To Love and to Cherish

I just finished reading an excellent book "What a husband needs from his wife'', by Melanie Chitwood. Full of practical advise and encouragement based on the Bible, I devoured this book. I have been married for nearly four years now and there are many times when I fail in my own eyes when I introspect about my role as a wife to hubster. He is an easy going, lovable man. Which makes it rather easy for anyone to like him and respect him. He is thirty three but much mature than his years. On the other hand I am not an easy person to figure out in the first place. Well, that's just me I guess. And so I get these self-doubting attacks...I often find myself wondering if I am a good wife to him. So this book landed in my hands at a good time because lately I have been again assailed by such thoughts. It can be a real pain let me be honest. Hubster is a man of few words , so any affirmation I am seeking from him isn't likely to come by easily, forget romantically.

This book really challenged me. It made me question a lot of issues we have between us as a married couple. Some small, some big but nothing alarming. Yet. I do honestly believe after reading this book that any sense of value, affirmation,eddification and appreciation that I seek from him has to first come from my faith in Christ. He is my ultimate groom and if I release my husband and my marriage in to His capable hands, I will derive even greater pleasure from being married to the man I call my husband. In my Father's eyes, I am precious and much valued. But there are times when lack of recognition and appreciation from hubster can bring me down. I sometimes long for him to say something kind/nice/appreciative-just to me, for me. He is not hard to please, but even if he is pleased with me, he wont affirm. I wonder how many wives,even though happliy married like me feel this way!

So when I went to church this morning, I asked God to help me accept hubster's ways. As well as to open his heart and eyes to this need of mine. Words have tremendous power over me. Verbal and written. I prayed that God would enable my husband to fulfill that need of mine. And no, he does'nt read my blog, so he is not gonna know!! I tried to do what this book suggests. Do not nag, do not demand, do not beg and plead, do not threaten...just release him and see how God enables the changes we want to see in our spouses. I kindof liked the idea. Now I am going to wait and watch in the next few days,weeks or even years. You never know, he may just thrill me by writing a book or a song on how brilliant his wife is!! Very funny, hah!

No comments: