Happy Meals with friends

Now that we are settled in nicely, we have started our weekly entertaining and hosting friends for dinners and lunches. Before we got married, hubster and me used to always talk about our mutual love of having people over for a meal and fellowhip. I love to cook, hubster enjoys socialising albiet in smaller groups. Our personalities are highly compatible in that regard I must say! While I like to go out just as a family for most weekends, we also end up having friends over many, many times. Some dinners are organised because we must return the favour, but mostly it is just about meeting up with friends for no particular reason. Occasionaly it gets a bit much but over the years we have come to realise and accept that hospitality has infact become our own personal ministry. The Johnson family is now famous for keeping an open house. What fun!

This weekend, my Sri Lankan friend who is also my neighbour will be visiting with her husband, two children and her husband's parents who are visiting from Sri Lanka. Interestingly enough they all happen to speak our language too! Not just Singhalese. That is  great for  bonding not to mention the numerous similarities in our cultures. We have been hosted by them several times and it is about time that we have them over. Our boys are friends too. Her sons are 4 and 2, quite boisterous so Yohaan gets a little overwhlemed around them but we should manage fine I think. I hope really!

We are meeting on thursday night. So today I will be busy preparing most things. I cannot decide on the menu. They told me that they enjoy beef curries. But the father in law especialy enjoys Indian breads. So with these two preferances I have to come up with something nice. I am thinking spicy fried masala beef, some kind of chicken curry, vegetable pulao and baby potatoes with a big salad. The problem with Indian breads of any kind is they need to be served straight from the stove...normaly most of us just make a batch and keep them in warm casseroles to be eaten later but with guests, especialy formal invites,  we try and serve the bread as fresh and hot as possible which unfortunately leaves the hostess/cook stuck in the kitchen while everyone else begins to eat. Anyhow, I think I shall get my friend to help me. I am close enough to her as to not be too formal. It is her in laws that need to be served well.

I have been sitting here with my second cup of chai trying to make my to-do list. I clean the house quite well everyday, so basicaly it is just maintenance work , but I do need to get the guest toilet cleaned, fresh flowers put in. Then my fridge has to be cleaned too. I have not done it in 2 weeks now. Dont judge ok!!!! I have to wash all the floor rugs today itself so that they are dry and clean for use tomorow. Change the dining table center piece. Get out my new placemats and I am so excited to use them finaly!  I have to then go and get the meat and other stuff for the dinner. And oh I forgot, I need to dust big time. I HATE that. Hate it, hate it , hate it! But living in the desert means dusting everyday. And I hate it. I havent even started on my list yet. Since I woke up at 7am I have only managed to wash the balcony, wtaer the plants and done the dishes and it is now 10.00 am. I better get going instead of sitting here and blogging away. I just thought maybe I will feel more in control if I have it written down somewhere. I wont have much peace when Yohaan wakes up because once he is up, our highness starts getting a stream of visitors...one by one, his friends from the complex strart dropping in to play, invariably with their mothers too. Or he wants to visit a friend. Then he has to be fed. Meds, bath time, reading time, afternoon nap...so many things have to be juggled and fitted into the day. I have no clue as to how do mothers with more than one child manage it all! I barely manage one kid!

Usually when we have people coming over I try and finish off as much work as possible the day before. All the chopping,marinating, preparing the dough, soaking and even cleaning. The last thing I do before going to bed is to lay the table. Everything in its place. Then the next day I just wake up a little earlier than my usual time and get down to cooking everything. The curries taste much better if they are prepared way before the actual meal time. Especialy meat. By the time friends come, I am mostly done and can sit down with them and actually enjoy myself too instead of fretting over everything. Tuesdays and thurdays are my busy days because hubster is home for lunch. He looks forward to something nice to eat at home. So tomorow I have to make a nice lunch too apart from the dinner for friends. Years ago, I would have collapsed just thinking about it but now it is a cakewalk. All it takes is good time management skills. And I am good with that. And now that I have publicly declared that, let me sign off and go in to my maid mode. I shall try and post pics of the gathering and the food too ofcourse. Lets see how it all goes. Toodles readers.

The winter that was and the time spent at home.

I am finaly in some control over here, as in, settled down to playing house nicely. The weather in Dubai is keeping us guessing if the cold is really over or not! The mornings and nights are still chilly (by our standards) but the afternoons are warm and balmy, almost tethering towards hot infact! Eight years of being away from the extreme climate of Nothern India has rendered me pretty useless in handling the cold. I am a person who thrived in the cold weather. Loved those winters of my childhood growing up in the north. Winters were for sunny days in the backyard, endless cups of tea, roasted peanuts, guavas, special sunday lunches....festivities in the air, preparing for Christmas, meeting up with cousins, oh the fun! Evenings spent in the warm heated rooms, sipping the soup of the day prepared by mother's cook or even better lounging in front of a great big log fire at my aunt's house gossiping and chatting away late in to the night. And not to mention the fabulous winter fashion- wear lovely knits, boots, bright colours and silks without worrying about melting away! In Dubai, I do wear silks someties because everywhere you go you will find it air conditioned, but in my mind I feel weird wearing it knowing that a silk saree is really not summer wear! :) Anyhow.

So this time in India, when I could not handle the harsh cold, I actually burst in to tears! Literally! When I visit my place, I make it a point not to complain about anything. It is a challenging country in every which way and knowing that , there is no point in cribbing really. I was disappointed by my attitude on this trip. I actually shut down. Froze! I might have stepped out of the house maybe a total of four times in almost 45 days of my stay there! That too, only when my sister arrived from Canada and I needed to spend time with her. My parents were very amused that I refused all invitations for Christmas/New Year lunches and dinners. I lived in my pj's and was simply too miserable to care. Mother tried cajoling me to go out and catch up with old friends and family, nothing doing. I refused to budge. That is sadly all I have brought back from my trip home.

I also attended my nephew's wedding in the city of Mumbai. Total wash out for me personaly. Yohaan had a raging fever throughout. The mosqitoes really bothered him, the humidity nearly killed me and hubtser fell sick too. A sick baby on hand doesnt make for much wedding fun. The two days we were there, I spent trying to keep him comfortable and not go bersek. high temperature notwithstanding. I had to travel to to my place after the wedding and I was in no mood to prolong 'our' misery. As a result of all the sickness around, I did not enjoy the wedding, an event for which I had geared the whole year. This was a first family wedding I attended after my own, so it was special. My cousin sister whose son was getting married is close to me...I wanted to make a serious effort to be involved in the celebrations. I should have probably known things wouldn't go well when the moment we landed at the international airport, Yohaan puked on me and then the baggage conveyor belt broke down four times before we could collect our luggage! Things were pretty downhill from there. A long qeue at the immigration control and I lost it. Screamed at nobody in particular and felt better. Got me some attention though....

The wedding was all that an Indian wedding is. Loud, colourful, music and dance filled, a thousand ceremonies. Gorgeous flowers, exotic silks, beautiful lights, amazing food, fabulous jewelry, endless cousins,aunts and uncles, neices and nephewes in all sizes, family gossip, late nights and 24/7 partying mode for all. I could be involved for all of maybe four hours. I was supposed to meet up a friend I made on FB and took a box of choclates for her from here. Couldn't. Was deeply disappointed. Had to say no to meeting another childhood friend who lives in Mumbai now. A first cousin sister who I met after eleven long years lives close to the wedding venue. The plan was to stay with her for a day and spend time catching up and going shopping with her and her family. I couldnt visit because not only Yohaan was sick and I was stuck in the hotel room looking after him but hubster was sick too, mostly from exhaustion of working a full day and travelling the same day. Also, my aunt who is battling lung cancer had moved in from her house in the suburbs ,with my cousin for the wedding and I did not want to expose her to Yohaan's viral infection. It broke my heart not to be able to spend more time with her, not knowing if I would see her again....

I wore my own wedding reception saree on the main wedding day. A lovely red silk bandhini. But forgot most of the jewlery! For the pre wedding party I wore an orange pure chiffon saree with silver aree work done on it . But  I was so hassled. In the wedding pictures I look rather plain and even tired! Hubster met most of my family for the first time since we got married and everybody wanted a piece of him. He ended up being rather popular with all who had gathered. So he was being dragged here and there and all over leaving me almost fuly caring for a sick child alone. I hated that. In my mind, it was my family wedding and I was supposed to be having fun and look who did instead! In India son-in-laws are a big deal, hubster is the youngest son in law in the family, from a different community and state. Speaks a different language. He was fussed over a lot. I was rather amused when all the elders complimented me for 'netting' a fine man! Hmmph! The younger cousins did not leave him for a second, the older ones wanted to know all about his work, especialy my brothers. All in all, I hardly saw the man. The little man, Yohaan, insisted on dancing away at every chance he got. I was worried about his fever and puking which invariably follows if he exerts hiself too much. But after a point I just gave up on both the boys. Let them be. Late in to the cocktail pre-wedding night party, my son danced like a boy possesed and fell asleep on the dance floor!! It is a miracle he didnt get trampled upon by all the wild dancers there! Was picked up by a guest and brought over to me. I was sitting in a corner nursing my diet coke and generaly feeling bad for myself. Hubster was missing in action, bonding with some cousin or the other, I think....

The only highlight of my entire holiday was getting to meet my sister in Canada- MSIN. I talk a lot about her here on my blog. I adore her to bits. In my mind she is the perfect epitome of a wife/mother/sister/daughter. Infact everybody loves her in our family. We met after three years and her two boys and husband. Her sons, I consider my orginal babies since they arrived much before Yohaan and  I experienced a feeling closest to being a mother with them first. Not that I have spent much time with them but nevertheless, they were my reason for wanting to give birth to a boy first. They are adorable.  The nephews of mine are incredible kids. Well behaved, gentle, kind and sensitive- exactly how I want Yohaan to be! I long to visit them in Canada, and am hoping this year we will be able to if finances permit.

I didnt do any shopping this time. Normaly I pick up a lot. But the weather put an end to all my plans. Yohaan ofcourse had a blast. He had tons of people to play with and boss around! Grandchildren are like these demi-gods in my family. Utterly spoilt and indulged. I was more than happy to let anyone/everyone step in and care for him. I simply slept and read. He was bathed, fed and entertained by the grandparents, maids, their children, driver, gardener, neighbour's kids and assorted uncles, aunts and cousins. Ofcourse, he was sick all along with some viral or the other but nothing could really stop him from having fun. He also picked up a lot of Hindi, my mother tongue, for which I am very thankful. He needed to hear some hindi being spoken around him and it did him good. Back home he still remembers all that he learnt in India and am glad about that.

Like I had said earlier, I stayed away from the internet completely. Was bliss. I have come back cured from my addcition to FB which is fabulous. I hardly FB now though I do login everyday. I love the new me! www had become a serious addiction affecting me in weird ways. That is over now. Which is always great no? And now I leave you with a couple of pics from the wedding.

Yohaan, Moi and Hubster. Y was so cranky towards the fag end of the reception!

With some of my older cousins, neice, nephew and aunt.

My gawgusss neice and her brand new baby girl- which makes me err, grand-aunt by the way! Yohaan had high temperature !

And this is my nephew with his wife to be, dancing away at the pre wedding night. God Bless! I wish I had taken a picture of the Henna on her hands, it was absolutely lovely.

That's it folks. I will post again some more about my trip not that anything exciting happened! Till then, enjoy the pics.

....anddddd we are back!

Hello my darling readers. how have you all been? Me? Am doing great. We arrived from India about three weeks ago and are happy to report that regular programing in the Johnson household has resumed. I came back to a house which bore a really neglected air about it . Hubster had been only cleaning the bathrooms and changing the bed sheets. Thats it and oh, he just about kept my plants alive. Small mercies I suppose...

I have a long post scheduled on my trip home. The family reunion, the big fat Indian wedding of a nephew, the travelling, Christmas with family and the bad, bad winters. Suffice it to say, I somehow survived it all and when it was time to head back home in Dubai, I was so ready! Me and the son came back with nasty flu and various kinds of germs in us and are infact still not fuly recovered. But then that is an expected part of traveling to India so really I am not complaining. I have been very, very busy settling down and because this trip was a longish one, it took me some time to shake off a strange kind of disoriented feeling. I however had no time to sit down and introspect, the house needed serious TLC. For somebody like me, who is very houseproud, it was all too much to take. The clean up was daunting. Weeks of accumulated dust, empty pantry and an empty fridge, linen closet in a mad, random chaos thanks to hubster rummaging there for clean bed sheets and towels, plants dying on me, shower supplies over and so on. I plunged right in and so far am doing great getting the house in order. Over the weekend in an unusually morose mood, I waited for hubster to take us out for an outing and he surprised me with a shopping trip to ceebrate my return from India because he knows retail therapy will make me get up from the dead too!

Off we went to our favourite mall close to our house. We went to the Mirdiff City Centre and headed straight for the home decor stores. I had nothing planned as such. Just browsed around and found myself gravitating towards all things red! Two hours later and armed with some pretty loot we back home and I got to work in the living room. It was 1.00 am but I could not to be stopped. Hubster looked on indulgently while Yohaan as usual drove me mad asking me to count all the things we had picked up. My little man is obsessing about colours and numbers these days. Gawwddd! Dont even ask. Another day maybe.

I finished my living room makeover. Changed the layout after a little more than a year. It has become a bit cramped but looks nice nevertheless. I shall post a mini series of before and after pictures to give you all a perspective of the changes I made.  And I have tons of red all over! Which also brings me back to linky parties! Yayyy for Patricia of  coloursdekor and the weekly link up parties she hosts. I missed joining the linkups every week while I was away I only got around to visiting her blog tonight and was pleasantly surprised to find the theme of this week to be the colour RED! or a  post on love (and I am guessing much mush too....). .What a fabulous conicidence!  Just as I have finished changing my living room from mainly blues to red. Now dahlings, enough of me rambling on and on, lets hop on to this linky love partayyyy! I present to you some pictures.

My favourite shelf in the house gets some TLC. I got all my red spined books and stacked them together.

I stacked each shelf with colour coordinated knick-knacks with books. You can see black, red and blue shelves.

Just red bottles which I had originally planned to group here looked OTT so I added some other spring colours to tone it down. All red looked like it was still Xmas!

My new table placemats all in red and one of them being used for the topper. Also picked up this darling little mounted red ceramic cart like thingy, love it!

A close up of the same, isn't it cute and err, a lil christmassy too, but never mind that!

                     New Cushionios! I got a set in plain red too...forgot to take pictures though...

And finaly, take a look at that tiny little hand made appliqued heart motif , which I had made two years ago for my christmas table setting. I put it up here because the all  black top tier of this shelf got too edgy for me and the red adds a nice pop of colour.

That's it guys. I am done for now. At least I have begun blogging again huh? i am on a major roll over here cleaning/organising my house and basicaly wanting to start afresh in the new year. I have some wonderful plans for the boy's room, he needs to be seperated from me now (I suppose) and shall be a proud owner of a bedroom all for himself. I have also resolved on going easy on www surfing. I simply dont have enough time and while I was away it hit me hard as to how much time I really do 'waste' sitting with my laptop! Being a home maker when you have tons of exciting plans for your house and more importantly the husband gives you the go ahead, \is seriously fun!! I hope you all are having a wonderful year so far. Be back for more stories about my winter holidays in India.

'Tis the Season to be Happy

Here's me wishing all of you out there, a truly Blessed Christmas and 2012 filled with God's Love, Mercy and Peace.

I am currently holidaying in India with my folks for the X'mas season and shall be back to UAE by the second week of Jan. This explains the reason for my absence from here. I am expecting a lot of family members from far and wide to join us for a big fat Indian Chrismas with tons of yummy food, music and memories. Will have lots to share once I am back. Also, am sorry that I have not found time to rely to all your comments and mails to me. Everytime I visit my family, I resolve to be off the computer for the entire period I am here, so blogging and facebook are neglected too. I need the rest and the break and this staying away from all technology and gadgets does wonders for me. My cell phone is also switched off as I never get my international roaming service activated. So I take or make no phone calls.  Bliss.

This whole month has been all about sleep, sleep and sleep and not having to lift a finger thanks to the fleet of maids my parents employ and who enjoy pampering me. Yohaan has six people in his 'service' and each one has been instructed to stay with him at all times and basicaly let his mommy chill. Eeeeks, how mean that sounds but honestly on this visit I am truly physicaly tired so I am giving in to all the spoiling and pampering. No, I am not complaining baby! And you should see how my boy goes around bossing everyone too! Everybody is rather happy. We shall come crashing down on earth once we are back in Dubai and our life re-starts our usual programming. LOL. I am again going crazy trying to decide if I want to employ a maid once I return...but that is how mad I usually am! My mother has been on my case to hire one and is totaly amazed that I choose not to hire one.

So anyhow, we shall meet again in a few weeks. There has'nt much happened but still lots to share. And I shall be relying to your kind comments asap. I will! So long then, toodles my lovely readers.

To School or Not To school

With my son turning three end of November this year, a lot of people have been asking us and/or advising us to send him to school, if not a big one, then a small play school. I am not so sure about that though. I suppose it is a common practise now a days with parents sending their children as young as eighteen months to play schools. Last week I bumped in to my former manager at a local resturant here in Dubai. She has a daughter only fifteen days older than my son. And this little girl has been enrolled in to a nursery school. Not a play school mind you, but a proper pre-nursery curriculum. I was curious so I asked her what do they teach if it is not just free play? Apparently they train the children in making sandwhiches (for eg) , colours based on some themes, numbers and alphabets also based on themes and in play way method. Sounds good. But is that all I should be sending my child to school for? I think not.


I believe there is a lot to it than meets the eye and on different levels. I am a teacher by qualification and have taught some before I decided to stay home. It would be fair to assume that I sort of know about educatiing children in general. Now that I am a mother too, it becomes even more important that I give it great thought and planning. Firstly though, let me make it clear that I have nothing major against schooling system in general. I come from a country where education while greatly valued, also comes cheap if you are reasonably well off. Anybody who can, will take a higher degree from a university. India infact, is one of the countries which has the largest number of universities and colleges in the world! That should tell you something. But getting a degree is not what the intention should be. It is improtant to me personaly and I dont want to bring up my child thinking that a fancy degree will solve all his problems in life. It gets you only so far after all.


So why am I resisting sending Yohaan to any kind of establishment yet? It is my belief that I, as his mother, should be his primary teacher. I should be the biggest influence on him along with his father. I should be his chief care giver. I am most  certainly not comfortable thrusting this responsibility on to a stranger in an environment wherein, he has to adapt to twenty other unique personalities and conform to a regimented structure of activities. What can be more baffling? At this age when he is only just becoming his own person, why should I inflict more unfamiliarity on him? And what can be more better or important than lessons learnt from home through his own mother/father/siblings. I mean really, do I want to send him to school so that he learns to say hello to strangers, so that he learns to sit nicely in a corner and eat his lunch, so that he can learn how to use scissors??? Or know that a fire engine is red in colour or that he must name his body parts by a certain age? Who decides these milestones? Is it not enough that an average baby will anyway learn all this as time goes by. I am the kind of mother who does not fuss much especialy about reaching milestones. Everybody picks up. They all catch up and the one's who dont, there are doctors and therapists to handle those challenges. But what I do care about is his emotional and spiritual charactor. It matters a great deal to me that my child becomes a good human who loves his Creator, no matter what. That is something we as his parents are not willing to compromise on.

One of the major reasons we are hesitant to send him to any kind of school yet, is knowing the fact that he is under critical training before he can be let loose in the world, on his own, for a few hours. He reamins close to me throughout the day but he is constantly learning and absorbing like a sponge. Sure it gets tiring for mommy, but they never said mothering was going to be a cakewalk. It is exhausting  precisely because it is supremely important too. Bringing up your child your way, is your responsibility. Period. The teachers and care givers, grandparents and relatives, neighbours and friends are good to have around but parenting is my job. If I am able to trust anybody else to do it for me and not only that, I pay them for it, it doesn't make me think much of myself am afraid! The sense of security and a combination of learning, discipline and application of skills learnt at home is any day superior to a school. Yes my dear readers who might disagree, I do genuinely think so. Even if I was not a qualified teacher, I would still think that I am the best teacher for my child. Ofcourse, if the husband paid me for it, I would be a happy bunny and out in shot, shopping, but jokes apart, nothing compares to mommy being the teacher at home. As it is, I also happen to feel that for many, many women going to work and leaving their children behind is just a means of shirking off their responsibilities as a parent. It is as simple as that. I do not and will not accept any of the usual reasons working mothers give for leaving their kids at home. They 'think' they deserve the down time, well, I dont think so sister! You spawned them, you look after them. And so, dont stretch it by sending them off to school when clearly they are not ready. Have some compassion.

Do parents consider need for socialisation as one of the reasons for sending their kids to school? Sure they do. Homeschooling families get a lot of flak from families who dont . Let me tell you then, research has already established that children infact, dont need a classroom full of peers to grow, learn or even to enjoy friendships. It seems, no more than two or three children of the same age group is enough to develop their social skills. Add to the general chaos of having too much too soon, I dont want my child to develop a competitive spirit. It is not an acceptable quality either to me or my husband. It is enough for us to know that he tries his best. That is definitely enough. Some of those typical,  high achieveing friends of ours, have asked us whats wrong in being out there competing with the rest? Everything, I say! On every level if you will. Lets not even begin. Else I might just explode!

Then a cousin of my husband's says to us, send Yohaan to school so he develops immunity and wont fall sick often. His system will get used to the germs floating around. Thank you very much but really, my child is not a guinea pig, do you mind. Further he says your son will become independant. Allow me a few moments of utter and great pride dear brother-in law and readers alike. (Readers, brag alert ahead) My son who is not yet three- eats by himself and loves his food, goes to the toilet by himself, does not wet the bed at night, loves to talk and  listen to music and dance and read, he can wear all his clothes on his own, he enjoys playing with his imaginary friends when the actual friends are not around, he has a fabulous vocab, he loves to read whatever he can manage (aww my baby), he can climb high chairs, jump from heights, he can express himself if he is in pain, he has clear and precise interests and dislikes, he is outgoing, he looks you in the eye when making conversations, he can count some, scribble some, recite some poems albeit in his baby language, he knows his colours, he loves animals and gardening, he loves to swim, he loves to help around the house, has zero interest in watching that wretched TV or playing with his father's fancy gadgets and so relies on his own imagination to keep himself entertained, follows an easy going but familiar routine and above all knows the  enitity of  God the father and His Son Jesus. See? Your usual baby out there, going about achieving all the required milestones and then some! No pressure, no seperation anxiety, no distress at the unfamiliar. Why would I want to throw in some nasty germs and competition with the peers  in to the scene now? Tell me one good reason. As for gaining independance, I am not sure I want him to be completely independant of us, his parents, at such a young age. He seems to be enjoying the security we provide by constantly being available. There's no rush to register for that college dorm just yet anyway.

I must again point out that I am not anti-establishment. Schools and colleges have their use ofcourse, but as a parent I will decide how much of an influence I am allowing on my child from these external sources. I am very uncomfortable doing something just because everyone else is swearing by it. No offence meant to nursery teachers (remember I was one), but really I know that they have 20 other kids to handle and all in the same way. There is mostly no scope of indivisualising methods of teaching and nursery care. In large groups, systems have to be tailored and regimented suiting the establishment, not the child. That is not the kind of 'forced' care I want to subject my precious child to. What about you other parents out there? Would you be willing to send your child to pre-nursery so he/she can learn how to make sandwhiches or use stickers or wear a red dress because the teacher declared it a red day in class? What is it that they can learn better which you cannot provide at home? Tell me because I am curious. No, I really am. What makes a parent take such a radical step as to send their child to school before the conventional ages of five or six? And how do you decide when is the right age anyway? For starters, I think mothers first need to stay home! Stay home and know your child. Dont base your decisions on feedback receieved from the nanny or grandma! Stay home and do it your way, you child deserves that much to begin with no? Nothing else can/should be more important. Nothing. Ever.

All That I Ever Wanted To Be

For the longest , longest time I remember, all that I ever wanted was to be a wife and mommy and play house. Yes, there I've said it now. It was a passionate, strong , living dream of mine. As a little girl I loved playing with dolls, imaginary cooking sessions, mothering my baby cousins and the grown ups around me would comment 'oh, she is such a mummy!' I even remember being very pleased to hear that! Then you know, being Indian means you have to get married and have children before the right age, that 'right age' differs from community to community but a general trend in my clan is getting it all done before 30. That is infact quite late by most Indian standards. So as I started approaching twenty-five, my parents, ah bless them, dutifuly began making noises. 'Havent you got a boyfriend? What kind of guy do you want? Do you want us to start a search?' I can imagine many of you cringing, which is okay. As I keep repeating, I am Indian and in India we do still have arranged marriages you know! If one has'nt conjured up a boy/girl friend or if one has'nt been noticed and basicaly nothing exciting is happening in one's life, parents step in a do the needful. Very convenient I must say.

Suffice it to say, my life wasnt 'happening' enough and so one sunday morning my mother asks me, 'well, you know, shall we then?' 'What mother?' 'You know, you are soon going to be twenty five, maybe we should get you married?' "Why mother, how nice of you to notice!'. Except for the small, teeny-tiny problem of 'arranged marriages' not working out in our clan for some reason! As it is there are hardly any uncles, aunts or cousins of mine who have had an arranged marriage and the ones who failed at producing a suitable boy/girl were 'fixed' by their parents and lived to regret the choice. So, arranged marriages dont work for my family. It's just one of those family curses or something. Anyhow, me being me, happliy agreed. To marry that is. But informed her that I would find my own man. And I did! Non Indian and particularly western readers may find all this weird. I suppose it is, if you are an outsider looking from the outside ring view....but for many of us young Indian men and women marriage is a serious business and most of us, if not all, comply with societal norms of getting married 'on time'. I was no different and while I was not desperate to start living my domestic dream, I knew in my heart that I was ready to be married from like the age of 10 months maybe....who know huh?!

Many women who have a similar profile like mine express great amazement when I open up about living my dream. With increasing options vis a vis higher education, career choices, access to world travel and technology nowadays, no doubt more and more young Indians are pushing marriages and motherhood to the backburner. That is alright I suppose. I mean our parents' generation did not have these choices, so it is natural that changes will take place, it is inevitable. Which is why some of my mommy friends who have chosen to work too, express shock that I 'seem' to have such old fashioned views. How can anyone simply dream of being a wife and a mother. Is that it they ask? How? Why? Honestly, I have never felt concious of speaking about my dreams. I have never felt the need to sound right and say that I will also try and take a shot at being a career woman and a home maker and balacing it all. I always knew my inner most desire and whats more I went about planning and attaining my goal just like any 'other' career minded person would. While you may have gone to college to train in a career outside home, I studied so I would be better informed and able to teach my future children. I travelled to become more aware, I read books to hone my intelligence and pick up skills, I watched other seasoned home makers and learnt housekeeping and mothering from them, I watched happy couples and tried to file it all away for a future need. I learnt from their mistakes too, one of them being 'dont say no to sex!' :) Jokes apart, I did take preparing my self for marriage and motherhood rather seriously. In my mind, if I was to live my dream successfuly, I had better be prepared. Lifestyles today face unprecedented stress and strain, so I chose to be fuly equipped. When the right time comes, you can make the transition as smoothly as possible.

I dont know whether by working outside, I would be making great changes in the world. The kind of person I am, I have my doubts really. I did work steadily before getting married and untill I was pregnant with my son. In my mind it was just a phase of getting to meet lots of people people and making some money, thats about it. I performed well because it was the right thing to do. But those jobs that I picked up were not going to take me anywhere and were certainly not my priority. They would never take the place of the stuff that were supremely precious to my soul. That is, having a partner, a house to look after and a child to bring up. Yes ofcourse I was biding my time untill I met the love of my life and asked him to marry me and proceed to give me a baby- major strategy at play here, dear readers! Hello there hubster, you were very obliging I must add! Ha ha ha. It worked out quite well isnt it? The sense of contentment and fulfillment I now have is the same as any other 34 year old (darn, you guys know old I am now!) working woman. She would probably be a manager by now, heading her own team, steadily climbing up the career ladder and making pots of money too! On an average I assume. Well, it is the same with me. What would you expect from a 34 year old home maker and a mommy? I must say I have come a long way indeed! From pure panic at the prospect of hosting a couple of friends or cooking a fancy meal for hubster's boss, from not knowing how to revive a dying inddor plant, from not knowing how to plan and execute a week's worth of menu, from not knowing anything about brith control, from not willing to submit to my husband and caring for him, from not knowing how to shop for fresh meat and vegetables and oh, so many things I have come a long, long way baby!

Even if I say so myself, I do run a good house. And am currently guilt-free as far as mothering is concerned. Being a good wife is fodder for another post altogether though. *sigh* I am now a fairly seasoned home-manager! I dont panic, I am organised, I plan and I execute effortlessly. My house is open to all. My pantry is well stocked, fresh food always available. The beds have clean sheets-always. The toliets are shining. Things are (mostly) in their place. I have a budget and a menu plan. I manage to be awake before the boys and ensure they are looked after. (Hubster's ALL socks are always missing though...loosing battle that one now). My child is secure and happy knowing mommy is always around. He gets the very best of me and not some care taker, and that is perhaps the best deal in this whole drama. I can and have hosted 50 guests easily with not an ounce of panic, I am available to anybody who is needy around me.  A new mother needs a meal? No problem. An elderly church member needs a pick up for church? No problem, even though I dont have a car, will organise a car lift anyway.  A young single girl friend needs help shopping for her upcoming wedding followed by hand holding and counselling? No problem. She also needs advise on sex and birth control before she gets married? No problem. A young brother in law needs advise on handling a crush? No problem. He also wants his laundry done during the weekend because he is a bachelor and not very well equipped to handle it in his own pad? No problem dude! Come on right over. Husband's colleague at work gets married and visits with his new wife , reqeusts me to share recipes and tips on settling down in Dubai- with pleasure! A hindu friend drops in for a meal during Navratri and wont eat meat, will cook a fantastic hindu-veg meal babe. ( I know you will read this and smile!) A visitor from India first time in Dubai? Will take you around and cook and launder for you and entertain you too! A reader of my blog , perhaps very lonely will email and expect a few words back- certainly no problem! Blogging regularly after so much happening in life- maybe a little problem, lolll.

As you can see my dear readers, I have enough and more happening in life. I am not busy without a purpose here. I am trying to live intentionaly. Without expectations. My Father in heaven sees all this and I hope he is similing. Look at her! She's a little-big momma alright! And am lovin it .

Disclaimer: I sound so full of myself but let me assure you, I am no domestic godess, yet!

How Exciting....

 Patricia has posted today  featuring a house tour of none other than your's truly! To view the pictures go here.

Thanks Patty. I am so excited and honoured.