Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Achy Breaky Bones

Honestly, I have no ideas bursting in my head to blog about. My days and nights often pass off in a blur and if I get time to even go to the loo I consider it a good day! So here I was, sitting on the toilet seat trying to take a quick leak with (who else) Yohaan also sitting in my lap. When I was expecting him nobody told me about this. This, that I may have to often lug the kid in to the toilet because somewhere between sitting up and trying to crawl babies can harm themselves quite happily and without a care in the world. Least of all without any thoughts for the poor,hapless parents! Yohaan is fortunately or unfortunately, no different from such babies. Which means that just as my bladder is bursting I spot him concentrating on trying to maneuver himself out of his bouncer on to the floor with an almost disastrous potential to kill himself...maybe...hmm, I think I am exagerating here. But you do get the drift, eh? I give up the battle and pick him up.

Our time in the toliet is action packed. With one hand I am trying to get my jeans unbuttoned, hold on to him. Sit down and hold on to him. He cranes around, lunges for everything he thinks he can chew on and I hold on to him. He tries to peer behind me when he hears some sound from within the toliet bowl and I hold on to him. He stiffens himself with some vague excitement when I use the flush and I hold on to him. I wipe myself, wash my hands while he bends over completely to lean in to the basin, I hold on to him. After much struggling we come out with my jeans pooling near my feet, I hope and pray nobody rings the bell and I dont trip! I put him down again in his bouncer and our man lets out a huge wail..waaahhhh....wt..? Well, mama not only cut short the adventures in the toliet she also put him back in his boring old seat, that is simply not on in his agenda for the day. *sigh* Hang on! I gotta pull back my darned jeans Kid! I dont intend letting any neighbour of mine have a free for all view of my backside!

Which takes me to the next problem. Why did nobody warn me that after the baby comes, every body joint would ache! And ache like -endlessly. My elbows and wrists are gone! Bummed! From lugging Yohaan around. For some women it is their backs...for me it is my hands. I have googled it and the wise internet tells me that I gotta live with it till he outgrows the need to be held so often. It has put me in a very bad mood. I stare at him ever so often now willing him to grow up fast, like really fast! Things have gotten so desperate lately that I find myself hoping for visitors to drop in and hold him for some time. We go to the malls, resturants, parks I am more than happy to offer him to perfect strangers. Anybody and everybody is free to carry my child. I shall not discriminate. Americans, Phillipnos, Pakistanis, SriLankans, Indians, Norwegians, Germans, old, young,men,women,children, teenagers, maids,drivers, CEO's, other mommas and daddies...anybody, just about anybody is free to hold my child. I will not even cry kidnap! Look here now, I dont resent this. I am enjoying being a mommy a bit too much but my body isn't cooperating and I need a break. My wrists are gonna get carpel tunnel, my elbows good for nothing, my knucles can forget about kneading any flour for making chapatis etc. I have had the baby so I better handle him yeah? Noooo. I need a human sling, NOW!

In return for services rendered, I shall do my bit. Since I am a socially concious citizen, I shall accost all mothers to be and warn them about these two issues. Woman, once you have a baby, you need to kiss goodbye to peeing in private and your body will make you familair with joints you didnt even know existed pre-pregnancy! There, that should do no? Now tell me readers, who amongst you is willing to volunteer? Pretty please?


Anonymous said...

LOL. Wishing you all the luck babes :) Cant you get a part time nanny or something? maybe a visit to India will cheer you up ;)

Anonymous said...

I am first time mom too. Have given a birth to my first son just last week. I love a name "Yohaan".

can you pl tell me the meaning of it and the origin/language of this word?

I would be really grateful to you if you can share this info with me.

thanks a lot.


Harshika said...

Hi Hirva,

Please see my new post dated 17/nov to know all about the name Yohaan.

Hope ure enjoying being a mama!