Wednesday, June 3, 2009

And baby makes three!

And am back! This post was meant to be done quite some time ago, last year infact, about becoming a mother and all that jazz. Yohaan happened, and how he happened! Life underwent such a huge change that I ended up imposing a sabbatical on myself and my dear blog! Six months on and I am still at a loss for words. But let me try anyways.

What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!

Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?

You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!

I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!

I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!

Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!


Anonymous said...

Such a heart whelming post! Harshika (love your name), i chanced upon your blog today from Colors Dekor and i was hooked. There is something about your posts which connected me and i was reading one post after the other, craving for more. Do people blog about everyday life, the mundane stuff? It was such a whiff of fresh air to read your thoughts, experiences on parenthood, about running a home, being lonely, everything..your writing beautifully conveys without ever being boring,with humour thrown in. i'm a fan :) I'm a mother to an 18m old and opted to be a stay at home mom leaving my high paying successful job and i'm loving every moment of it. I do have some dull moments with all idle time i have and I sometimes let my mind wander as to how it would be if i were still working and debate many mundane things in my head similar to what you have so effortlessly expressed in your blog, and felt instantly connected. I think you are super cute :) Would have loved to chat with you over a cup of tea and talked about kids ;) but unfortunately i live in usa and while it may not be possible, just thought of leaving a note to say 'hi'. will look forward to more posts :) till then, take care.


Harshika said...

Hi Pavana,

And you have a lovely name too. Unusual. Thank you so much for all your kind words. And generous too. So thank you again. I write because I am starved for adult company, ha ha ha. And currently, in my life, there is onl cleaning, cooking and potty duty. Might as well vent here no? There are lots and lots of amazing mommy-blogs too and I am not even a patch on them but still it makes me happy to welcome readers like you. Somebody finds me interesting apart from my little brat! :)
You can email me anytime on should you wish to vent too. i know how it feels. I hope you will come back to read more. Although I am notoriously slack in posting regularly....

Anonymous said... i happy you responded within a day, guess i got lucky you chose to visit your blog today. Thank you so much Harshika and ya i would love to keep in touch with you. Will email you when i get a chance and tell you a bit more about about knowing your readers ;) till then, tc!