For Yohaan at seven months today

My boy is exactly seven months old today. Lying down next to me making baby noises as I quickly put up this post... it has been a great ride and I have survived pretty well so far.... a friend forwarded this sort-of-poem to me but we both dont know who wrote it or even the source... if any one of you readers knows about him/her/the source please let me know so I can quote them here, I am enjoying being a mommy too much and and am in no mood getting in to plaigarising hassles because if I am imprisoned for it (anything can happen in this day and age!) I dont want hubster remarrying and getting Yohaan a step mommy!! OK, with that taken care of , let me just get on with it. It is totally awwww.

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.! I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom .

The Hijab

The French president Mr Sarkozy has ordained that the Muslim women in his land shall not be allowed to use the veil anymore... the decision has caused an upheaval all over the world, Muslim or non Muslim. I live in an islamic republic and have so many friends who practise islam. My Muslim girlfriends in particular, are immensly accomplished. Highly educated, well travelled and deeply intellectual. They come from all walks of life and it is an honour to be friends with them. I dont see them being forced in to covering up by anyone whatsoever! If anything, they are some of the most liberated women I have come across. No, I dont get distracted when I interact with them and no, neither does it take anything away from their lovely personalities. So when a decree like this comes from a supposedly politically and culturally enlightened nation like France, it makes me want to take sides.

It is said that the islamic veil is not a religous symbol but rather a personal choice and an effort to seek closeness to God and a certain degree of detachment from vanity, an effort to focus on the holy and the godly manners which might be pleasing to God. I say what is wrong with that?
Precisely if it is not even a religous symbol why should it bother anyone? I dont find it offensive or weird or reggressive or even remotely reminiscent of a millitant minded individual out to bomb us all! It is a personal choice, for godness sake! It is a dilemma for me because I cannot imagine someone coming up to me and ordering me to cover up! What I find troubling is the way France is going the Saudi way... dont we know the strict dress codes imposed on one and all in Saudi Arabia, we all disagree with it but cannot do much about it. Why does a country like France need to emulate them? I think it doesn't bode well. What I find reggressive instead is, that any government or nation, man or woman imposing rules on us and taking away the right to choose. I as a woman will decide the way I want to dress myself.

In the same vein, what is so great about showing skin like you dont even value yourself ? What kind of satisfaction does a woman get out of flashing skin and getting stares from all and sundry? Why would she enjoy this kind of attention? I for one, endorse the idea of modest dressing completly. It is something I admire and encourage young girls to adopt. It especially takes courage to take a stand and say no popular culture and to be able to swim against the tide. If I had a daugther I would be pretty upset if she felt admired, accepted, considered hip and modern only if she bared her skin! It would reflect on my parenting standards if she sought such thrills... to be admired for her brains, pleasing manners, skills, and intellect would make me feel proud to be her parent. It wont take rocket science to figure which side I am on!

So no, I dont think Sarkozy should have announced this weird edict. And anyways, I really feel he should focus on more pressing issues like a failing economy and loss of jobs and similar such stuff. Leave the clothes (or the lack thereof) to us women Mr Prez! Now now, nobody is forcing your lovely wife to cover up are we??

R.I.P MJ..

I was/am a fan of Michael Jackson. I cannot name a single song or a video of his which I do not like ...and now he is dead! Just like that, gone! What a wasted life, such a tragedy and an example to us lesser mortals as to how we run from God and His desire to save us from our selves... despite his cuckoo behaviour, I admired this artist for making awesome music. An artist with a soul in turmoil, an artist who was his own worst enemy... the sheer talent, the mass appeal, the impact on millions of fans ...a whole generation which grew up listening to him, including me.

I am trying not to think of his last few years on earth. Instead, I am sobered by the thought , that life is indeed fragile and nothing we , possess or achieve can help us get that peace and freedom from fear which a faith in Christ-alone, can give us. I am blessed to be a christian and I wish Michael Jackson knew of the saving power of Jesus...neverthelss, I hope when the time of reckoning comes, he will find that God is just and able to forgive and accept us. Really, really wish you knew that MJ! Rest in peace dear one.

I AM SPEECHLESS.

Woke up nice and bright this morning. My little world perfect, neat and largely happy. My pretty house, the lovely garden, my large group of friends, my perfect husband (who, by the way, still has a job in these tough times) and a healthy baby...everything is in place. Domestic help, gardener and what have you- others working hard to keep me happy and at peace. My biggest concern in the morning is to ensure hubster gets to eat a good breakfast or what fruit to puree for Yohaan's morning meal or even wondering if husbster would be coming home late from work and if we can go out somewhere for the evening to relieve a little boredom. That's how earth shattering my average day's concerns can be!

Then I read this post ,

http://themadmomma.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/so-you-thought-the-last-hospital-was-bad/#comment-8001 and am plunged in to a deep despair. The mind boggles as to how can this/does happen in this day and age, in a country which claims to be a super power in the making! A country which prides itself on a rich cultural heritage, on producing world class engineers and IT professionals, doctors, teachers, artists. A country which has stunning diversity and the largest democratically elected government. A country which has a hindu and a muslim or a christian and a buddhist living together for generations...and yet Indians never fail to surprise me in taking the lead- in being one of the most apathetic races on earth. The sheer apathy and the callousness of our hearts is deeply, deeply painful.

I am no different, and that to me, is the unforgivable part.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

How does your garden grow? Honestly folks, I wish I knew it myself! All I know is that I possess a ''green thumb'' . In the sense, that whatever I plant, thrives. I remember my mother asking me to help plant her seasonal shrubs and pots because she believed that those done by me would take root and grow well. I never had any interest in gardening per se but I would occasionally lend a hand. My gardener has often been spotted trying to suppress a smile because of my sheer lack of knowledge of all things green and because I may have asked him a particularly dumb question. *sigh*

Even now, I confess I do all the gardening and planting because I want my house and garden to look pretty. If someone told me that things would jazz up with some dog poo lying around and if I happen to like ''that'' look, I will go for it. I am aware as to how idiotic that must make me sound to you dear readers, but lets face it, I am house-vain! Nuff said.

For now do have a look at the lovely entrance of my house. I did it all up one fine morning, in a flash of brilliance and was given a huge helping hand by my maid, Sunita who enjoys home decor as much as me! She is brimming over with some lovely ideas for our garden and backyard and I can’t wait to try them pronto!

This is where we live.Welcome....!

My favourite corner, pots kept on a discarded glass shelf salvaged from our garage!

Another corner of our entrance...dried arrangements,desert style!
You likey?

The day I went green-2

It was last year that I did a post on getting some plants for my house. I was pregnant and going through an intense nesting phase. One year on and I have been once again bitten by the green bug. I am on a mission and have launched on an ambitious project of landscaping my garden as well as doing up the front entrance of our house. Tara of http://tarabhatt.blogspot.com/ , a new blog follower of mine, has been encouraging me to put up some pictures. So here goes...this one's for you Tara! Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

The stairs leading to the bedrooms...

Small planter holding crotons...

Dont know what plants are these....

This one stands quite tall in a corner...

Me and hubster take our place along with the Giraffe here...

PS- Lotsa more pics coming your way people!

Please note: I do not know the names of any of these plants, except the asparagus ferns. So dont go testing my knowledge. I just plant whatever takes my fancy and suits my budget!

Fathers Day - Update

Our man Yohaan has some kind of an internal clock within him. In my previous post I was wondering if he would wake up to meet and greet his dad in the evening. Well, he woke up just in time, I gave him some fresh orange juice and we were ready to go. Nothing like a fresh, cool drink after a nap eh? When hubster rang the bell we, that is, Yohaan, the maid and myself, scampered around frantically because in a bid to hide the card I forgot where I had kept it....anyways, managed to locate it just as daddy would have started losing his patience at the door! Dad was greeted by us at the door with Yohaan and me holding his card although our man was more interested in chewing the darned thing! I think daddy was suitably touched espeically seeing Yohaan's hand and foot prints...I wrote out a small poem taken from the net but could not locate the source :( so maybe I shouldnt publish it here for copyright reasons. Im not a lawyer's wife for nothing after all. We just about managed to take some pictures and then the little one promptly fell asleep again. Here are some pictures.

The card I made for hubster on Yohaan's behalf. Note the lil hand & feet prints.

Father and son...posing for my blog.

PS- I got nothing for mamma's day :(

Daddy's day...

It is 20.30 UAE time and daddy is still not home. I and Yohaan have made a little card and some Kheer( Indian version of the rice pudding) for him because it would be his first Father's day!!

We are, rather we were very excited about the whole thing but for now Yohaan is already fast asleep on a full tummy! Yohaan tried to chew on the card and kind of sensed something different is happening. I got him ready an hour ago...massage, bath, pear and rice cereal - to be ready to greet his father in a somewhat decent mood...hopefuly when daddy arrives, we can surprise him! Incase, he does'nt wake up, I will just have to hand over the card on his behalf and try to take some pictures. Sneakily enough, I tricked hubster in to getting us some Indian takeaway!! So we can celebrate in style!

Watch this space for programme update folks!!

All's well within my world...

So this whole of past week I have been on my own with just Yohaan and our maid. Funny how when daddy is not home, I smoothly step in and take charge. Including, driving his big huge SUV, which by the way, makes me immensly proud of myself. I run around getting all the outside work done and get a perspective on how much my husband atually does for our home, so it runs smoothly. Just driving around Dubai is enough to make me give him an award!

I had stepped out to get some last minute groceries but as I was driving back, I was hoping hubster would be home. And sure enough, as I stepped in I saw father and son sitting together with all the new toys and books which have been picked up from his trip abroad. The sight was supremely cute and my heart duly turned to mush. The two most important guys in my life happily catching up. The maid told me that ''baba'' as she addresses him, leapt in to his dad's arms as soon as he walked in! This is it. Every day is a new development. Untill last week, just before hubster went away, Yohaan did not really notice him especially with me around. One week later, he achieves another milestone- recognising someone else other than his mother! At such times, I hastily put away the sorely tempting thoughts of renting him out for a few hours each day. Wicked mamma, I know.

Much excitement, hugging, kissing, general squealing and a cup of coffee later, father and son are upstairs in our bedroom, sleeping it off together. I let him go, an important step for me , my boy does'nt neccessarily need me now to put him to sleep, daddy will do fine too, sometimes! As I close the door on them and soflty tip toe down the stairs I find myself thanking God for bringing back hubster safe home. That Yohaan did well with daddy being gone and that I didnt crash his precious four wheel. All's well within my world indeed!

Rescue me...

My momma is mostly nice, but once in a while she is tempted to gobble me up and then she cribs about all the weight I am supposed to have caused her to gain!!

You dont believe? Can't you see how hard she is trying not to bite in to me...?

Random worrying

Tell me, will I be considered a certified weirdo if I reveal the things which have been occupying my mind ever since I became a mom? Here, have a look:

* My son will marry and go away one day.... ( this triggers more reasons to worry)

* He will marry a girl I wont take an instant liking to....

* She will be a perfect pain in the....

*He will always take her side........

*She wont let me mother him....

*She wont give me any credit for all the nice upbringing he will have....

*She will always always always blame me for spoiling him for life....

*Together, my son and his wife will send me and hubster to an old peoples home...

Needless to add, my hormones have still not settled down even six months post preggers!

Disclaimer (not)

So this mommyhood has me firmly in it's grip. I have been rendered pretty useless for any kind of normal adult behaviour and conversation. While this is not a standard apology, I feel I must really tell all my friends in this world who are not yet parents that guys, I am sorry for going on ad infinetum (sp?) , nauseaum (sp?) ( I suck at latin)- about smelly poo, puke, booogers, Cerelac, engorged breasts, cracked nipples, stretch marks, weight gain and it's sheer defiance to come off, sleepless nights, romance gone walking, hormones haywire and what have you.

For the life of me, I fail to understand that maybe most of you might not be even remotely interested in the aforementioned issues. So, for those of you who are missing the old Harshika, let me be kind and advise you that it will be a long time or maybe never, before you get to see her again....I find it difficult to think of non-Yohaan posts... and so today I went out for a walk to seek some inspiration for a non-baby blogworthy post and came back with guess what... yep, more thoughts of Yohaan and how much I missed him during my walk!!

No not sad really, but I did try and apologise already. Okay? OK.

And baby makes three!

And am back! This post was meant to be done quite some time ago, last year infact, about becoming a mother and all that jazz. Yohaan happened, and how he happened! Life underwent such a huge change that I ended up imposing a sabbatical on myself and my dear blog! Six months on and I am still at a loss for words. But let me try anyways.

What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!

Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?

You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!

I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!

I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!

Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and hope...you make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!