Thursday, April 1, 2010

The post with no title

And it is going to be quite obvious why! I have no inspiration today to give this post a is going to be a blah post then. *sigh*

Off late I am troubed by the fact that I am inherently lazy. I am a lazy human being and nothing seems to help. I mean look at the way I am unable to hold my house together. I dont think having a toddler (a hyper one at that!) in the house is an excuse to let everything else go. I know mothers who have like three,four even six kids and seem to manage fine. So, no that cannot be an excuse. Although Yohaan does his best in undoing everything I accomplish around the house. I enjoy folding laundry. What can I life is exciting huh? Anyways, I will bring in all the clothes and pile them on the couch. Lovingly fold away every crease and make neat piles. My little man will come around and systematically pull everything to the ground. Pick up one underwear and proceed to dust everything in sight. He copies me you see! I will be in the kitchen or on the phone, come back and try not to scream at him!

And this goes on in every corner of the house. He gets in to the kitchen shelves and cupboards to pull out all the pots and pans. When I ask him what exactly does he think he is doing, he will give me a goofy grin and say ''khana''- meaning I am cooking mama! This cooking business keeps him busy for hours but in the process I loose a lot of hair. I was such a control/neat freak before. With Yohaan, it has been a huge struggle giving up this trait of mine...Anyways, I am now compiling a daily to-do list which will be non negotiable. I need to do this else I might slip in to depression. I have chosen the role of a home maker willingly for myself and if this is one thing I cannot get right, what's the whole damn point, see?

Last night I spotted thousands of misc stuff under/behind our bed and exclaimed loudly to the hubster... "OMG! Yohaan has thrown everything under/behind our bed, eeeksss, how will I ever get it all out?" Hubster replies very sweetly, ''that is your problem babe''. Needless to add I am mighty annoyed with him for not adding a helpful/encouraging bit to my already frazzled state. But then, he is right,as usual which annoys me even more.

So from this week, I am going to assign fixed hours for my housework. Which involves getting up early morning and finishing the chores before the little tyke gets up. Which means I am not going to be very happy but it also means some order and peace in my head. I am not a morning person at all. Yohaan's school will not start before 3 years at least. I dont see why should I be torturing myself waking up at some unearthly hour. But I did know this was coming. I have run out of options now. Hubster has enrolled (again) in an intensive Arabic class which starts at 8am. He wakes up really early to finish his homework and get ready before he leaves. I sometimes get up to give him his morning coffee and breakfast but not always. To his credit, he doesnt expect me to. But every house hold has a certain rhythm to it. Families have dynamics. Members have roles to play and tasks to carry out. Hubster performs his wonderfuly. Yohaan, the toddler does it even better, performing everything that a toddler is supposed to (read: creating havoc ) *more sighing*, except for me-the mamma. :( If one member is not contributing towards keeping the rhythm going smoothly, it can all come tumbling down. Dont you agree. My sister always says, moms cannot take an off! How right she is. Mom is ofcourse a generic term also for wife, cook, cleaner, baker, mender, fixer, shopper, comforter etc. At the moment I am none of those.

Send me good thoughts people. I am so tired of not achieving even a quarter of my daily goals. They are mundane, but keep the wheels running you know!


mindspace said...

Hi there!
you are just being to harsh on yourself with it. Its ok if the house is not spic n span on days. its ok with the laundry lies in a jumbled heap on the couch and its ok if you miss doing 8 things out of 10 that u had set for yourself.
as much as you hate being up in the morning, i think that will give you an hour or two that will actually feel like 5 extra hours in ur day. the freshness of morning, time to maybe do some yoga, walk in fresh air or just quiet me time will be an added bonus.

sorry to be asking but how is the child throwing things behind the bed ur problem alone? i would have made my husband get all the stuff out just for saying that to an irritated me, you know :) you seem to be a v sweet mom..

hugs and warm wishes being sent your way!

Harshika said...

awww Tara, thanks for the encouraging comment. What can I say about hubster?? I have spoilt him rotten, so I get to face the brunt of it now....I know you are very young(I just know), but you seem immensly sensible and mature...I wish I had half of your maturity!! One day, god willing!
Thanks fo visiting!