Oh Baby....

My Darling baby Yohaan,

In approximately eight hours, your mama and papa will get to see you! Yes, yes yes! The doctor has decided to deliver you to us a little earlier than your due date of 24th Dec 2008. Never mind, I know God has made you whole, complete and able to be out and in our arms. Mamma and dada would like to tell you how badly we have waited for this day. You are a much longed for, prayed for and waited for baba and as that hour approaches , we can't wait to see you! The doctor has told us that mama will be operated at 8.00 a.m Dubai time, oh what joy!

We have had a quiet, restful day. Mama even went to get a pedicure, manicure and other such lovely stuff. Daddy asked me why? Well, I told him I want to look good for my baby, he laughed but indulged me anyways. I hope you too become a loving, caring man like your daddy.

Uncle Vinesh, aunty Amrita, and Amisha didi came to see us in the evening, everyone is waiting excitedly to meet you in a few hours. What fun , isn't it? Amisha didi's grandma fell in love with your nursery by the way, and I hope you like it too....

On the other hand, your own grandma's in Chennai and Varanasi are nervously waiting to hear of you too, not to mention Nana, Baba mama and Anjali mami and oh yes, Nandini mausi!! Gosh, you do have loads of fans already!!

Baba, mama is sitting now with daddy watching some TV passively, but our hearts and minds are on you to be honest. It seems as if both of us dont want to sleep tonight, I dont feel tired, just a strange kind of rush...a mix of nerves, excitement and a whole lotta love...oh baba, I am so waiting to tell you how much I love you already. I am sure daddy has his plans of doing so too...

Till then, hang in there our precious angel.... be good and scream, cry real loud when we get you out in the world, because that will tell us you are doing good dude, ok? OK.

Huggy, Kissy and God Bless,

Mama and Papa.
Dubai- 1.45 am

Thank God the elections are over!

I am so pleased that the American elections are at last over. I have never had any interest in any nation's politics including my own ! I am convinced politics and the politicians are good for nothing, morally bankrupt lot. And nothing anyone of them ever does to prove otherwise, would change my views. Having said that, I am therefore very annoyed with the Indian news channels. Particularly NDTV, which is the only Indian news channel I follow here. Keeps me updated on whatever's been happening in my country. Not that it's great in coverage or content. I agree that Obama winning these elections is historic and all that, but I am so fed up with our news channels covering the victory like the world is going to end. Yesterday, as I saw off hubby for the day, I sat down with my cuppa tea and turned on NDTV and a few hours later wished I hadn't. We had our regular folks on NDTV, frantically covering the campaign as it ended, the casting of votes and Obama and Mc Cain making speeches back and forth. All the correspondents spent long minutes telling us that Mc Cain had made a call to Obama, well he lost, and that is what protocol involves- the losing candidate has to make a phone call to congratulate etc for cyring out loud! One phone call being expounded upon for like 45 minutes!! I am not against them covering it as an important news item, but it went on and on ad nauseum! I kept wating patiently that the some Indian headlines would make the news but no, it seems there was nothing else worthy of reporting!!

I am happy for USA, seems like the majority got what they wanted. But NDTV pulled out all stops and couldn't bring themselves to give it a break. Over and over again, international relations experts were called in to give their 'expert' opnions on what would the election of Obama mean to us Indians? Kashmir, Pakistan, Outsourcing, CTBT, immigration, H1B visas...all old issues on which USA will bully us anyways, regardless of who is in power. As if the Republicans or the Democrats care for the Indian nation or any nation for that matter! Do I as an any other average , ordinary Indian really care? Athough, the way NDTV goes on covering it even now as I write, one would imagine there are some folks in India and the Indian diaspora who do care maybe. I found myself cringing when one of the news correspondents was asked by the anchor at the head quarters in New Delhi, if she thought one day an American of Indian origin could also make it to the Oval Office!! Huh?? And if indeed a day like that dawns in USA, so? Why is that important to us? Because anyways, that person would have ceased to consider him/her self an Indian, would consider him/her self completely American and so we too shouldn't have to feel pride or whatever, if he/she gets elected to the highest office of America!! What has happened to the media these days?

Dont get me wrong. I admire USA for all the usual reasons. Freedom of choice, democracy, ideals of liberty, security and individual freedom. There is much to learn from this great nation, but I truly need a break from my own Indian channels tripping over themselves covering an event 24/7 which wont make an ounce of a difference to me or my neighbour next door!

• Edited to add: Well maybe to make me feel better, sometime towards the evening NDTV finally did show us a clip of Uma Bharti ( an Indian politician) slapping her party secretary...trust our Indian politicians to keep churning out drama and entertainment for viewers like us! As for me, I am wondering which news channel to switch my loyalty to, at least untill this Obama furore dies on NDTV.

My way or the highway..

When I met my husband six years ago and fell hopelessly in love with him, all I could think was why isn't everyone else too in luuurve??

When we finally got married three (very long and tough ) years later, all I could think was, why doesn't evryone just get married??

When I finally decided to quit work and be a full time housewife , all I could think of was why dont all women do that too??

And now that I am pregnant and expecting my first baby, all I can think of is why isn't evryone not pregnant too??????

Oh goodness, this is not me judging anyone for their choices, these choices have made me so 'bleddy' happy and content that I want the same joy for everyone, that is all there is to these thoughts...I want everyone to be full of joy but suddenly I realised I am being too presumptious in assuming that this is the way to be happy......

Then again, why isn't everyone in luuurve, married and pregnant pray tell??

Hospitality

I and hubby absolutely love having people over to our place for hanging out and no visitor is allowed to leave without a meal if we have our way with them! :) Even before we were married , we had decided that our married house would always be open to everyone and I am glad we have managed to keep that going. Much of it we inherited from our own parents especially our respective fathers who loved entertaining and yes, even unannounced guests were welcome to sup with us anytime of the day.

From how we look at it , is that extending hospitality to guests is a part of our heart, our ministry as a couple, if you will. We love to serve. We cannot imagine saying no to anyone, no matter how inconvenient it could get. So we have entertained and provided for people even if it has meant cancelling our own pre-planned appointments, driving out of the way to pick up folks who dont own a car or are lost, staying up really late at night, cooking with dietary needs in mind and the like. When we invite people over we take great pains to clean, cook and serve with great joy and excitement. Hubby spares no expense in getting the best produce, especially if arrival is expected, but, even if it is unannounced, I ensure that I produce the best I can. We make sure our house looks neat and welcoming, the towels and the toiletory laid out in the guest toliet, colours and books for any kids expected, good music, good lighting, comfortable ambience and of course as good a menu as I ,with my limited skills can manage. Mostly we dont even notice if we have been thanked and appreciated although almost everyone always does. I know we have friends who love visiting us, who enjoy our hospitality but ever so often I also notice that it tends to overwhelm some folks. They either get embarassed or plain ignore our efforts-eat and just leave!! Or what about guests who have abused our hospitality blatantly? I cannot go in to detail about this misusing our hospitality part because it calls for a seperate post. I have had family members and friends who have been invited with great love and who have in turn left us cold with absolutely no show of any feelings once the party's over! I am not saying my guests need to gush and go on about how lovely everything was , even if I say so myself :) , but come on show me some manners!!

If I have been invited to someone's place I would be atleast polite enough to thank the host and compliment them on the food offered to me. I really have no idea how to react to people who come and leave with not even a small thank you! Has anyone come across this kind of weird behaviour? One very close relative was visitng us with her family, it was a surprise visit but I managed to cook up some nice stuff for all of us. Laid the table with my best plates and napkins et all. All long as I was cooking, she kept commenting why was I getting so bothered, why was I cooking so much -which is fine, I appreciate her concern, maybe she was embarassed having dropped in unannounced. But not once did she offer to help me out and when she fnished eating, she got up and walked off from the dining room. I was left to clear all the plates and dishes. Now in the Indian culture, we dont really expect our guests to remove their plates etc, but she was family!! I feel she could have offered at least! Later, when she left, no thank you nothing. See, my point is ?Ofcourse I didnt expect her to go ga-ga over my cooking, which is nothing to write home about anyway, but it is all about remembering our social graces! I will continue to have visitors because I love it, but once in a while an insensitive guest leaves me hurt and bewildered!

Then the other week we had overnight guests from out of country. Again, we went all out. I made sure the guest bedroom and bathroom were spic and span with pretty linen, flowers and accessories, basically the works. I should have probably not bothered because these folks trashed the guest room before leaving! I couldnt help but think that my house was literally used like a cheap hotel room! The bed was left dirty and unmade, towels and scraps of paper, plastic bags from their shopping left on the bed, pillows thrown around somewhere(?), the bed side lamp left on, toliets wet and messy with shampoo bottle left opened, toothpaste gone (somewhere?) the bed side accessories like candles and stuff moved away and left on the floor to make space for their personal belongings like specs,loose change etc....the curtains drawn and windows open inspite of me warning them of dust storm outside....topped off with no thank you as they left our home. Is this how we behave when we visit someone's home? I take great pains to keep a neat and a pretty house. That is my pride and my calling and I am taken aback when guests like the one's I described cant figure it out and dont seem to care! It is a simple matter of being considerate! Goodness the number of times I must have checked and re-checked the guest room for any signs of dust, dirt, clutter and discomfort! And I would like to add that I am heavily pregnant amidst all this. I tried not show my dismay to my husband , but I think he knew it and even before I could say anything at all and he immediately apologised for his friends' behaviour. The friends in question are not bachelors although why should that be an excuse for living like a pig in someone else's house pray tell? They are married and I wonder are they not learning anything from their wives? My mother always used to say that I could teach a lot to my husband around the house. Just like we teach our children, husbands too have a lot to learn or shall I say un-learn from their bachelor days. Like, taking a small gift for the host, offering to help the lady of the house, not being loud and obnoxious and bossy in a social gathering, complimenting the hostess on the food etc.

Thankfully my husband is very well groomed, but yes, there have been so many changes that I have brought in to his life and his lifestyle....he appreciates a clean house, a pretty house, a fridge that always has food for visitors, a guest bed which is always ready to be used, fresh linen, a willingness to cook and serve no matter how tired I am, a pot of tea and snacks always available, these are qualities which we always expected of each other and so I also know he wont be behaving like some of our guests have done :) when he does visit without me, because trust me, I am not letting him get away with teen like behaviour such as that! Not that his mother did not have all of the above qualities but he shows me his appreciation that I as his wife , also carry on the important tradition of hospitality. How about some folks doing their bit as guests when they visit us? Cant help but generalise that we women do add that extra bit of sensitivity and chivalry to our men folk eh? But on the other hand what about my rude female relative? So really, this must be about our hearts not our gender maybe? Some of us just dont get it !!

''As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord'' Joshua 24:15 reminds me that I must carry on, whomever we serve , in whichever manner, we must as if we are serving the Lord!

Excellent...feeling better now.

Life as a mommy...

I am not a mommy, not yet anyway. While I wait for my little one to arrive in just a few weeks time , I am frantically reading up stuff on www. My favourites are the dozen or so mommy blogs I religiously follow each day. I agree with some and disagree with many! Given that I am a christian and would like to keep the Bible as my reference point for ALL parenting issues, I still do find myself agreeing with many secular /non-christian views on parenting as well. Children are a blessing from God and we parents are to bring them up in Him alone. In my mind there is no better or any other way of bringing up children than the way pointed out in the Bible. If we fail to do that, we are bound to pay a price for it. Since I havent yet become a mother I know that I am not in a position to comment upon any one mother's style of parenting. Or her life as a mom! So no this is not a judgemental rant.

The reason why I chose to write this post is because of this phenomenon I have noticed firmly established in the life of some new mothers around me. I have two friends who have children below four years of age and they have stopped living! That's it , as simple as that. The first friend , lets call her D, has a toddler who is almost two now and she doesnt live! What I mean is that, there is no life for her apart from caring for her child. That in itself is not the issue here, but we are talking of 24/7 obsessive caring for her child. That is also fine, because this is what mommies do isnt it! But this friend does not go out, does not have friends, discourages visitors, does not visit either, doesn't go shopping even for groceries and takes out no time for her husband for a single evening once he is back from work! The day starts with the child's needs and ends with it. The other day I commented to her, how can that happen? She said to me ''well, he is demanding and on a strict schedule, so if I go out for an evening that gets disrupted and I cannot enjoy myself''. I was amazed at the response I got from her. Somewhere in this answer I sensed a feeling of burden that she carries around her! I have no doubts that she is indeed a fabulous mother but often I get glimpses of her being tired of mothering. She chose it to be this way, probably convinced herself that this is the way it has to be. She told me that this phase wont last forever, a maximum of 3-4 years and then she will be free! Free of what, pray tell?? I thought when you become a mommy you sign up for a lifetime of worries and tears along with the incredible joy of being one! So see, this is where I make my point. Why make it a burdensome chore in the first place? Why cant things just flow as long as you are instilling the core values in your child and setting an example yourself? Why should mommy's life come to a standstill because bringing up the baby is being perceived as a hassle. Ofcourse they are fussy, whiny,hungry,pukey and what not but why should that stop you from living your life? Ofcourse the baby might throw up just as you are about to go out for a family outing, he/she might throw a tantrum in public or mess the diaper-yet again, but why oh why is that a problem? Why cant you still go ahead and enjoy an outing for a change. If you make it sound like a huge deal, the child will sense it for sure and soon it becomes an unending cycle of tantrums, clinginess and fussing. I know motherhood is a full time job but surely we owe it ourselves to have some semblance of life , a time when we take a deep breath and let go. I dont know if this is really tough, I might start feeling like her myself, but really I think not. I dont want to be harsh here. On any mommy!

Then this other friend S, is a very new mom. And she too has stopped living! She is always in frantic state of disarray and helplesness. A full time maid, her mom moving in with her for a few months, helpful husband and the works and yet she is totally out of her elements. It does happen to all new mothers I am sure, but this display of sheer incapability amuses me more than anything! Six months down the line and nowhere even remotely near getting a life! I know I am sounding harsh, but she has indeed taken mommyhood to new heights! She has stopped having friendships completely. The few handful of friends that she had, have all been aliented . Phone calls are not made nor returned, baby news and updates are not shared, sickness , developments and milestones not shared...the list goes on. As of today, I have no idea how is she doing, what is she up to and more importantly how is the baby doing! When friends call, they are asked to call back because she is busy with the baby, requests to visit are turned down on some pretext and even gifts are refused! So it is not for want of trying that I feel like I have lost her friendship forever. Hubby tells me to let go, to give her the benefit of doubt as not every new mother feels up to the huge demands being a mother makes. I try to, but it is not easy. When she was pregnant, I was a very hands -on friend, always there for her and now when it is my turn to have the care and presence of loved ones around me, I cannot even call her. She doesnt even know my due date!! Im sulking? Yes I am, I am hurt. But I can move on.

Which is why I say to moms like her, please get a life, move on and be of cheerful spirit, children are a gift from God. Dont turn their arrival in your lives as a reason to stop breathing! Involve, evolve and go with the flow. Take this opportunity of becoming a mother to show the world the miracle of God's creation! To shout His praises and proclaim His goodness. Surely becoming a mommy is not a prison sentence!

Get a bloggy makeover at...

http://www.mahjabeenumar.com/blogdesign/ this lovely lady does blog designs and makeovers....! I got to know her very recently and am maha excited that she lives here in the same town as me....woweee, I am giddy with excitement as to what all changes she can make to my blog....I better get it all done before Yohaan arrives!

And she blogs too!! Hillarious stuff too!

Go over to http://maygandutp.blogspot.com/ and http://mahjabeenumar.blogspot.com/ and have a few laughs...have fun!

The day I went green...

I grew up amongst people who love gardening. My mother, aunts, friends of my parents, just about everyone I have known back in my home town loved plants and greenery. I remember the love and care my mother lavished on our garden and over the years she grew an enviable collection of beautiful plants around our house. My mother even talks to ''her babies'' as she refers to them! Me and my brother did not particularly share her love for gardening but we did admire her efforts and knew it meant a lot to her. I am sure she gave up on us ever developing an interest anyways. But off late I have developed a deep interest in plants myself. Ever since we bought our own house, it is as if I am seeing a completely new, read, domesticated side of me. I always was house proud but my efforts to do up anything around my parents house was always met with a resistance by my mom. She would tell me to save all that effort for when I would have my own house and be my mistress. Oh my mom kept a a lovely home with her limited resources and did not take kindly to her ''domain'' being tampered with! I remember I used to sulk when she would not let me change a cushion here or a table setting there. And I resolved from that time that I would keep a beautiful house and a pretty garden. Little did I know though that maintaining a garden and keeping indoor plants is not an easy task and requires considerable research and knowledge not to mention physical labour at which I am errr, not particularly great at. One of the gardens that stand apart in my mind is that of a colleague of my dad's. Aunty Nigam, as I address her, has the most awesome garden in the world. She has a deep abiding love for her plants and it shows. So while she is my dad's colleague and friend first, my mom shares a wonderful relationship with her simply on the basis of a mutual hobby and love they have for gardening.

Got married and came to the middle east where the heat could kill us humans, leave alone flora and fauna. OK that is a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. So while I managed to do up my house in Sharjah very prettily, I was still not succeeding with my greens. Everytime I picked up indoor potted plants for my house, they would end up drying up and dying. It used to upset me a lot till I gave up. But then we moved in to our own house and I realised I was longing to see some greenery around. With the house came an already very nicely maintained garden so all I had to do was get some greenery indoors. Pestered and pestered my husband and gradually he started giving in to my demands. I started with 3 potted plants ! And praise be to God, somehow I managed to develop a green thumb and hit upon some excellent ideas as to how to keep them going! The guy who sold me those three plants told me to keep the AC on as much as possible. It was a bit of a worry because I mean , how can we have the AC on always, because, I end up feeling cold and keep fiddling with the temp control all the time. Nevertheless I tried the trick and it worked. In two months time, my baby plants were thriving so much that I needed to replant them in to bigger pots! Yayyy! Cant begin to tell you what joy I get when friends who visit , tell me my plants look so well cared for. It is especially nice coming from visitors who do have a considerable knowledge about gardening etc. This is also a tip from me to anyone who is remotely interested , plants are a relatively inexpensive way to do up your house. Some of them might be expensive, but look at it as an investment and they last for agessss!

So today, it ws time to nag the hubz again and let me tell you, being pregnant has such obvious advantages!! He never says no to anything now a days, he he he! And the sneaky ole' me took advantage of this and made him drive me to this huge garden centre in Dubai and boy! i freaked out or what! I simply went bersek. Imagine a mall espeically and only for plants and trees and all things green. While we were driving there, I uneccessarily explained to my hubby that I want to leave a green-legacy for our baby....whatever that means! I mean Dubai is quite a synthetic place and wouldn't it be nice if we could get our child interested in nature from a young age. I can assure you hubby didn't really need all my explainations! He was just happy giving in to whatever ''craving'' of the month I seem to be suffering from. So anyways, this month it is plants! And like I said I went madddd! I only recognise money plant and some standard palm trees. But here I picked up some very pretty plants of various kinds, mostly indoors. I loaded the trolley so much that my husband remarked '' are we buying groceries?'' I will put up pictures as soon as I can. Cant wait to share them here! I now have some amazing stuff for our living room and lots of them for the bedrooms too. I immediately got to work as soon as we came home and the master bedroom lespecially, looks such a place of tranquility....amazing what just a little touch of greenery can do to a living space. We also bought some accessories, actually my husband was quite excited and he chose the garden accessories like a ceramic frog, some stones, rocks etc. I also picked up a little fat clay birdie and am imagining how will Yohaan react seeing all those animals and birds outside when he grows up enough...anyways, I am beyond excited now and am so enjoying the look these plants have helped me create around my house. Thank you Jesus for making such lovely things on this planet. How did you know we humans would receive much comfort and joy from witnessing your creations. And how did you know it had to be the colour green?? Ah, you are such a perfect God!

We also went to the Fab India store and bought stuff for our bedroom to go with the Indian theme and colours. Ahhh, it all looks so pretty! Maybe it is the hormones but I am in such a nurturing mood nowadays. I feel maternal towards all living beings. My house currently gets a lot of ants visitng it- God only knows from where and how. Even as go about ex-terminating them I find myself feeling bad , mad I know! Then a funny thing happened at the garden store. I pointed out the lovely cacti plants to the hubz. He asked me to pick up some. I replied ''what if Yohaan gets to them and hurts himself?'' , it was then he gave me a ''huh? look''. A little too early to be baby proofing the house eh? Must be the hormones!!

Love thy neighbour as thyself....

I was just about to shut down my laptop and take my afternoon nap when I spotted my neighbour. Not like I spotted an alien or something. She lives a quiet life and minds her own business and all that. I dont even know her. Some evenings I can watch her cooking , sometimes busy in her garden which overlooks mine, all the usual daily stuff. But the way I see her now is troubling me. Why? Oh nothing illegal or shady happening here. You see, she is out on her first floor bedroom balcony sun bathing. In her two piece bikini, out in the horrible middle east sun and heat! I am stunned that some one should do that ...... itis none of my business I know , I know! But I so badly want to go and tell her that surely so much of ultra violet is no good for her skin! That this heat is not for real! That she will burn errr like a bacon if you please.... I am brown (and proud by the way) and my Indian skin can handle all this sunny business, but her fair caucasian skin is got to be more sensitive ? Maybe she is from some sun starved country like Finalnd or Norway or something, but oh , I want to go ask her if she is ok? I am fretting for her while she is happily sunning herself away with a book and a big bottle of sun tan lotion. I want to give her all sorts of dire warnings about the hazards of this kind of heat etc.

But the fear of breaching her privacy, getting reported to the cops and then deported has stopped me from being too neighbourly and so I am going to sit here and blog! Imagine, being arrested for something like that ! The cops here are very likely to arrest anyone for just about anything and everything! And imagine being labelled ''that nosy neighbour''...! Plus we dont want Yohaan and his daddy to be embarassed...by my well meaning but unwanted neighbourly concern.

Oh if God would honour my prayers for baby Yo!

My sister N has already nicknamed Yohaan as baby Yo... methinks it sounds cool, dont know if he will agree to it though, we shall see.

I am up to my ears with frequent scans, doctors visits, strict monitoring given my high risk pregnancy, medicines, jabs and what not...everytime I have to get blood drawn , everytime I feel a pinched nerve, everytime I see a high glucose reading inspite of my best efforts, everytime I feel queasy and just bone tired, the nights when I lie awake unable to sleep , I think back to the days when I actually longed to feel all this so that I could feel the joy of being pregnant. How I pleaded with God to let me experience all this and more, so I could be a mom some day...and while it has come to pass, there are days when I crib! How ungrateful is that! By most average standards I would say my pregnancy has been smooth sailing. No worries, no complications given that I have diabetes! I am doing well, by His grace.

I and my husband sometimes wonder whose look will Yohaan inherit? Will he be a cute looking handsome little boy? Will he be smart? He teases me, hoping Yohaan doesnt get my nasty temper or my stubborn ways, I tease hubz in turn hoping he doesnt get his dad's too laid back-lazy (according only to me!) attitude....but then, we need not worry. God has already designed and ordained every bit of him physically, emotionally, spiritually....Him being the designer, I really must let it be!

But oh, if God would honour my prayers for Yohaan's soul:

That baby Yo will one day accept Jesus into his heart, live a blameless life, and love the Lord with all his heart, soul, & mind. That one day the Lord Jesus will look at him and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master" (Matthew 25:21).

I would feel the utlimate goal of becoming a parent would be fulfilled if God were to answer this one prayer of mine...hey, all the mommy to be's, start praying that prayer now!

Pregnancy update

On the 27th Sept we went for our final scan to check whether Yohaan is growing fine and fit. It is called Fetal health and development scan. No doubt I will be having scans more often now, but this one was a biggie. So off we went and as it usually happens in Dubai, was happily caught in a traffic snarl. And we waited and waited worrying that the hospital wont take us in if we were to be late....they make a very,very,very big deal if you reach late even by a minute and then routinely punished by being made to wait for an hour to get your turn back. Well, I called the nurse in advance to warn her and although we reached about 10 minutes late, we found ourselves waiting one and half hour with my bladder bursting! I mean, really bursting! I had been downing glasses of water in preperation for the sonography.

Never mind all that, we had a nice Arab doctor, who was slightly elderly so kept repeating all her findings twice, thrice! And Yohaan is doing great! So pleased am I. His size is still ahead by a week, as is his head size, but nothing to be woried about as the doctor kindly pointed out to me ''well, you have a big head''.....errr, hello? What about the coconut headed daddy standing around looking pleased with this info!! Daddy just smiled cheekily while I tried to point out to the doctor that it is not me, it's him!

The scan was very thorough, with the doctor mumbling her ''Mashallah's'' . Yohaan seemed very active that day , probably sensed that mamma needed to pee badly, who knows! He mostly refused to cooperate and wouldnt show his frontal face to us...so the doctor couldnt really check out his lips, nose etc. He kept putting his hand over his face. The scan also took a long while and I remember feeling drowsy and even bored! In a little while, I actually tuned out and found myself noticing the doctors nicotine stained teeth! I know I am supposed to get majorly excited everytime we have a scan and see the little one, but I think I am nearing that stage when I am just bored and feel people should move on and not talk of the baby all the time. It is weird I guess, but I blame it all on the hormones...anyway, all is fine with Yohaan and me.

Around 10 weeks to go and I cant wait...in the mean while Yohaan kicks, rolls, swishes and hiccups. Also, enjoys soft ballads and classical music every time we play it in our car. He seems to be eating,sleeping and doing everything else he is supposed to be doing well.

What a wonderful, wonderful God to have blessed me with this pregnancy!

India!!

I recently came across a comment on a blog from a foreign volunteer working in India amongst the poor and the needy. Very commendable and all that. But a statement from her infuriated me no end....the commentator called India and my hometown, Varanasi beautiful and ''ugly'' in the same breath!! Apparently, she went to many places and this was her finding on most of India. What's there to be annoyed about you might ask me?? Well, on the face of it nothing really. Any visitor to any xyz country is entitled to his/her own opinions and really, that should not bother us. Why then did this commentator manage to get my goat? Well, firstly because, she is a christian and therefore one would assume have some semblance of compassion and senstivity towards a country she has chosen to work in, on a voluntary basis that too! And secondly, because just like any nation of the world , Jesus loves India!! As simple as that. That nation, with it's more than one billion people, it's flora and fauna, it's languages, it's pulse- all has been ordained by God Himself and no human has a right to denounce it or any country for that matter, in a derogatory manner.

I am Indian, so naturally my hackles are raised on this commentator's views. But really, I am an expat too, living in the middle east. I dont serve in any ministry and I havent gone all out to be charitable and all that here. But I do love and respect this country. Which expat in this world finds it all easy and nice and ''like home'' ? It is not easy being uprooted, displaced and away from ''home'' but any amount of trouble, hardship or feeling of alienation does not give us a right to bad mouth the country we have chosen to put down our tent in. Me and my husband have a very comfortable life here, but that does not mean we are really ''home'', does it? We are aliens, foreigners, expats call it what like. These synonyms dont sound very good to the ears does it...We have had our share of problems and issues settling down here, but in this fallen world, which nation on Earth can claim any form of superiority on the basis of religion, world class medical care, elderly care, education, physical appearances, science & technology, per capita income,safety & crime, moral and social fabric , taxes etc? When we choose to make a particular country our home, please lets accord it respect and affection.

Experts and professionals volunteer to work in some of the world's most dangerous nations, but would negate all their good work if they were to bad mouth that very nation. I have had one foreign worker say to my face that ''India is like a toliet'', I was saddened and shocked. What kind of christian service and heart do you bring to a country which you think is like a toilet anyways? Does God think so too? I seriously doubt that. I am so sick of expats not just in India, but even here in Dubai who have no words of praise but constantly crib and complain about expat living. I am pleased to note that they are all in the process of migrating to whichever country they ''perceieve'' as being more suitable for them. Good luck and good riddance I say! One of the fruits of the spirit is to display patience, why cant we show some of it to whichever country we are living in? This is especially for expats who have volunteered to live and work in a particualr country....even if you haven't , please stop being petty and a spoilt brat and give it all a break. God loves every country and has a plan for every one of them. How dare we stand and denounce any of His creations!!

Whatever our lot, Prasie be to God, because of Him, it falls in to pleasant places!

Oh My God....!!

It is with great pleasure that I come back to my blog !! My last post was on 8th June 08....with promises to myself to keep this blog going , to give myself an outlet to vent more than anything else. But anyone will notice, I slacked off and didn't get around to posting any new stuff....so much for those promises! Well, as all my friends and family know everything happens for a reason and so it with greatest awe and pleasure I announce that Joey and me are expecting our first baby!!!!!!! And it's a boy! And we are naming him Yohaan- meaning God has blessed. Indeed He has and that my dear people is the reason for my long absence.....this pregnancy was most unexpected, well rather expected but still a huge shock nevertheless! I have been hit by a host of overwhelming feelings and it became simply too much. This space got neglected.

Now as I am more settled and in my final trimester I realised I must keep this going although this blog will become more of a mommy blog now!! I would like to thank a fellow blogger Mad Momma at http://thebratthebeanandbedlam.wordpress.com/ whom I absolutely adore and love to read. She has been such an inspiration from the day I bumped in to her blog a few months ago, right after my pegnancy was confirmed and I was surfing for baby related blogs. There are many others I read but she has kept me most inspired to become a fabulous mother that she herself is!! Thank you mad momma! You rock!

I will now be posting regularly, every little bit that happens to me, my husband and my Yohaan, as we preapre to become a family that Christ has ordained. My heart is awed and filled to the brim with the sheer joy of becoming pregnant...another post is called for detailing my testimony, as to how I did become pregnant in the first place, battling infertility for a year and a half. I hope it will be a comfort to those who are in the same boat as I was once. My heart goes out to such couples more than ever now. I shall continue to uphold you in my prayers and ask you to do the same for this mommy to be , the daddy and little Yohaan.

''Give praise to the Lord for His love endures forever''

In Him, forever grateful!

Worthy of thought and action...

"If you please Jesus, it doesn't matter who you don't please; if you don't please Jesus, it doesn't matter who you do please." ~Adrian Rodgers

Setting Home

Well, it is never ending...the sorting,packing,moving,unpacking and putting things in their right place! We packed,we moved and 10 days on , I am still nowhere near the spotless bright loving home I had envisioned....hubby is blissfuly ignoring the un-opened crates and the huge piles of mess and disorder all over....I asked him last night ''is any of this mess bothering you?'' and the sweetheart that he is , just shrugged his shoulders and said a simple ''no''. But that does not stop me from feeling guilty, very guilty indeed! After all, he didnt stop going to work and continue to deliver his best inspite of our house move! What excuse do I have for being so full of sloth! I just dont seem to have it in me! Any ideas? The Bible has some very strong views on being lazy and the Proverbs 31 woman continues to haunt me day and night! Ah! When does it get better???

A hassled home maker!

New Beginings II-Fast Forward 2 years on...

Well, we have bought a house!! Yayyyy! We are proud first time home owners, dh and me are so chuffed! It is a semi detached three bedroomed villa, huge and lovely with an excellent garden at the back. We could have bought a super luxurious appartment with that money, but one look at the garden and I breathed to dh, this has got to be the one for us! I have never before lived in an appartment, but for these last 2 years after having moved to UAE. Im used to large airy,open houses back in India and then in UK. So now I am going to relive my dream of a proper house with a GARDEN!! It is indeed a big deal to me although I must confess here, I have no gardening skills whatsoever! But I plan to rectify that and hire a part time gardener and dream of making my garden a haven for myself and hubby and for all our friends to enjoy.



I am giddy with excitement and in my eagerness to be hands on , move -away -this -is -my -new- house attitdue, I have bravely refused hubby's offers to hire help to clean up the place...I shall do it all on my own before the packers/movers bring over our stuff. Fortunately, I do enjoy cleaning up any areas which are not up to my own personal definition of cleanliness...so am hoping the new house wont be much of a problem. Thankfuly , the previous occupiers have left it in mint condition. Hubby dear has been subjected to a lot of harrasment when I embark on one of my cleaning and sorting frenzies. I admit , I am a bit mental when it comes to cleaning of any type and I have a feeling hubby dear has given up on me. I am worried about being a slacker though, ever since I quit working some 3 weeks ago, I have been such a sloth ball! I just cant seem to pick myself up and do anything around the house. A new excuse I have started giving myself is that we have to move anyways now,why bother cleaning up! Imagine! So I sit here blogging, while there is a pile of laundry begging to be done...sighhhh!



But today again I am begining to feel stirrings of what used to be the ''old me''. I do plan to wrap up all my to-do list of chores and then look forward to the big move come Thursday. I shall clean,scrub, sort,throw away and pack up. This is a promise I am making to myself....my point of quitting from full time employment was to be a home maker and a good one at that....if I want to be that then I better take advantage of all the time the Lord has given me to be just that! Combined with my cleaning skils (I kid you not, Im quite proud of it) , I should be able to kick slacking out of the house.....



I shall be back with an update as to how the packing moving and settling in has been. I think we wont have net connection for a few days , but then it is good because I seriously need to get my act together!! Here's to new beginings.......!! All glory unto Him!

New Beginings!!

Hello people, I would like to first of all say how much of a privilege it is getting to stay in the United Arab Emirates! Such an awesome blessing from God. When we came here, hubby and me were starting a new life together as a newly married couple. I still remember the overhwleming realisation that I was well and truly on my own now. Responsible for not only myself but another adult human-my new husband. His breakfast-lunch-dinner, his shirts, vests, his health, his stress at workplace, his favourite activities,his likes and dislikes...get the drift?? :-)

I followed him to Dubai from India after being apart for six months while he settled down here and made arrangements for an appartment and my visa. They were the toughest days so early on in our marriage! But we all know Who sustains us all through tough times, is'nt it??

As I walked out from the Dubai International Airport, the heat and humidity of the place hit me hard and I began to really doubt if Dubai was indeed ''the place'' as my hubby dear had been telling me regularly during our frequent phone conversations....just like the Israelites in the book of Exodus, I started cribbing and whining to him! Why do we have to live here?? My poor husband who had taken off from work to come and fetch me from the airport, kept calm and said the magic words...''wait till I take you shopping'', that calmed me -only a bit though!

We were soon on our way home, a temporary accomodation till we got the keys to our own appartment in a day or two. The Dubai cabs are luxurious! Air-conditioned ,clean and efficient...however, in my ungratefulness I didnt even notice all this. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and my lost baggage! Imagine , starting a proper married life and no bags! No luggage! No pretty linen which my mother had lovingly made herself for my new house, no spices-special packets which my mother's cook(she also doubled as my nanny and so I love her as a mother) had taken weeks to prepare once my departure was announced at home! I was indeed travelling like a typical Indian housewife from the olden days, when a new bride would pack up dry spices and food stuff to take to her husband's house and cast her magic in the new kitchen! I was so looking forward to doing things my way-finally! Dreaming of doing up my house , had kept me going through the long months of distance from hubby. I missed him so! And now I was here with him , tired, hassled, annoyed and definetely no where near grateful to God for travel mercies....it all comes back to me now, nealry two years on when I am living a pampered,cushioned and protected life!

Our new apartment was in this really lovely neighbourhood....and when I walked in, I immediately felt good! It had such a good vibe to it! I imagined how it would look when it would lovingly decorated and be full of beautiful smells from my kitchen! But more of that later...to add more to my already bad mood, hubby had to literally dump me at this empty appartment and go back to work since he was too new to be taking too much time off! So off he went and I sat with a temporary mobile connection with my hubby leaving instructions to follow up with the airline office to trace my baggage!

The appartment was bare....but I still loved it. In the evening when hubby came back, we had nothing to do but to step out and grab a bite....by this time I had calmed down completely. So we went out and over night my perception of UAE chnaged!! As I walked down the road to hail a cab, I was amazed by the lush greenery all around me! The hot and heavy air notwithstanding, the neighbourhood has so much natural beauty that I was stunned simply seeing the blessingsGod has showered in this so called desert land! How can it be so green..i kept asking hubby! How can they cultivate so much!! The pavements looked as if a rich green carpet had been lain, soft green and so beautifully trimmed! Why had'nt the harsh heat and sun scorched all this lovely flora? Then I noticed something even more striking...the men! Most of the population here, about 75% of them are expats . A study reveals that expats from a staggering 200 nations are currently living in UAE. But what I noticed was the respectful distance and lowered gaze men keep here around women! This was refreshing change from India, which is unfortunately not very woman friendly! I felt free and liberated! I again mentioned to my husband, ''the men are so decent'', he agreed with me! It made him aslo feel good that I would be safe on my own where ever I would visit, while he was at work!

The evening ahead was full of sights,smells and activities! The evenings here are something else. because of the day long heat, men, women and children stir out in the evenings. People rushing around getting their groceries, children playing soccer, moms and their toddlers walking along the corniche....you can hear thousands of languages around you! I noticed with delight so many Indians around! and even better, so many Indian supermarkets catering to our fussy ways! Ask me!! I know the lengths I would go to just to get the right kind of semolina to make ''halwa''-an indian dessert made from semolina, milk,sugar and almonds and cardomom! And so here I was very very happy that my cooking would go on just the way it was meant to be! Traditional, spicy,authentic and yes, very Indian!

And amidst all that my life here as Mrs Johnson began! I was finally able to see that evening, how blessed I was to be here. That God knows exactly where we are meant to be and places us there to enrich us more! I regret all that moaning I indulged in the day I landed here. But God has made it such a special journey since then! When I met my husband, indeed even when I hadnt met him, I always fet called to be a home maker and a mother. I desired nothing more out of life! How awesome that God brought me to a country where staying home is encouraged, being a good wife is encouraged, becoming a mommy is considered to be anhonour, submitting to the head of the house ie father or husband is encourgaed, being modestly dresed does not make me an alien, talking about God and relgion is not considered politically incorrect-infact- it gets you accepted better in the society even if you are non-muslim! The Arab culture is so family oriented and so warm, I have never once felt out of place here! Coming from a similar culture In India, settling down for me has been so easy! How could I have ever doubted that God had brought me to a difficult terrain! I have made friends from so many countries that it is mind boggling! I have had the privilege of sharing the gospel with them! I have had a chance to do a comparitive study of Islam and Christianity, something which would have probbaly never interested me if I hadnt come to the Middle East! This is the country which has given us friends and a lovely church! This is the place where there is so much potential to work for Christ! This is the place where we are putting down our roots now.....indeed my lot has fallen in a pleasant place! All glory be to God!