Birthdays are no big deal....

My birthday came and went. I turned thrity two. Nothing happened. My memories of all pre-marriage birthdays are warm, love filled and definitly prezzies filled. My parents went to great extents to make each of our birthdays special, that is, of mine and my brother's. There would be a big fat family get together with amazing food,music and much merry making. My dad especially would be in his elements organising a special evening. Mom would ensure new clothes, candies and treats for school mates and much pampering. Uncles,aunts and cousins would outdo each other gifting me with all that was on my wish list.

Then marriage happened to a man in whose family birthdays are no big deal. That is a sad fact which I am still not very happy about. As it is, his family is extremely low keyed on every front and they dont do emotions at all. Being expressive is missing in the family genetic makeup and is the extreme opposite of my own family. I long to be accepted and fussed over as any daughter in law would expect. Well, thats not gonna happen here. So before I got married I think hubster made some effort in all that flush of luuurve. Now that we are married and officially hassled most of the time because of a baby, he didnt bother making it special. He did take me out for dinner. It was a rushed, last minute crazy affair. Yohaan had been very difficult the whole day and by the time it was evening I was tired, fedup and unwilling to go anywhere. Friends descended upon us bearing flowers and stuff so we kind of had to take them somewhere. Let's just say I couldn't wait for the evening to get over. Thats it. I will remember this birthday for being the saddest of my entire thrity two years. Only blessing? I am a mommy!

My mom called from India and sensed my sadness. I found it very difficult to hold back my tears... The sense of aniticipation which I used to have the whole week. How carefuly I would make my gift wish list confident that my family would grant it. All my favourite food which the cook would be instructed to make. The clothes shopping, the guest list....the flowers, the music and at the end of it all again a strange kind of excitement of looking forward to the next birthday already!

My mom kept telling me to do the same for Yohaan. Celebrate his life. Make each birthday a big memory. Let him know how truly special every year of his life is. And that is exactly what I plan to do. I am not letting my boy's birthdays pass by un-noticed. It may take a lot on my part to get hubster involved and excited. His first birthday will be truly special. And I dont mean expensive-special. Just special, like the way it used to be for me. Full of love, laughter and family and friends I loved.