Happy Meals with friends

Now that we are settled in nicely, we have started our weekly entertaining and hosting friends for dinners and lunches. Before we got married, hubster and me used to always talk about our mutual love of having people over for a meal and fellowhip. I love to cook, hubster enjoys socialising albiet in smaller groups. Our personalities are highly compatible in that regard I must say! While I like to go out just as a family for most weekends, we also end up having friends over many, many times. Some dinners are organised because we must return the favour, but mostly it is just about meeting up with friends for no particular reason. Occasionaly it gets a bit much but over the years we have come to realise and accept that hospitality has infact become our own personal ministry. The Johnson family is now famous for keeping an open house. What fun!

This weekend, my Sri Lankan friend who is also my neighbour will be visiting with her husband, two children and her husband's parents who are visiting from Sri Lanka. Interestingly enough they all happen to speak our language too! Not just Singhalese. That is  great for  bonding not to mention the numerous similarities in our cultures. We have been hosted by them several times and it is about time that we have them over. Our boys are friends too. Her sons are 4 and 2, quite boisterous so Yohaan gets a little overwhlemed around them but we should manage fine I think. I hope really!

We are meeting on thursday night. So today I will be busy preparing most things. I cannot decide on the menu. They told me that they enjoy beef curries. But the father in law especialy enjoys Indian breads. So with these two preferances I have to come up with something nice. I am thinking spicy fried masala beef, some kind of chicken curry, vegetable pulao and baby potatoes with a big salad. The problem with Indian breads of any kind is they need to be served straight from the stove...normaly most of us just make a batch and keep them in warm casseroles to be eaten later but with guests, especialy formal invites,  we try and serve the bread as fresh and hot as possible which unfortunately leaves the hostess/cook stuck in the kitchen while everyone else begins to eat. Anyhow, I think I shall get my friend to help me. I am close enough to her as to not be too formal. It is her in laws that need to be served well.

I have been sitting here with my second cup of chai trying to make my to-do list. I clean the house quite well everyday, so basicaly it is just maintenance work , but I do need to get the guest toilet cleaned, fresh flowers put in. Then my fridge has to be cleaned too. I have not done it in 2 weeks now. Dont judge ok!!!! I have to wash all the floor rugs today itself so that they are dry and clean for use tomorow. Change the dining table center piece. Get out my new placemats and I am so excited to use them finaly!  I have to then go and get the meat and other stuff for the dinner. And oh I forgot, I need to dust big time. I HATE that. Hate it, hate it , hate it! But living in the desert means dusting everyday. And I hate it. I havent even started on my list yet. Since I woke up at 7am I have only managed to wash the balcony, wtaer the plants and done the dishes and it is now 10.00 am. I better get going instead of sitting here and blogging away. I just thought maybe I will feel more in control if I have it written down somewhere. I wont have much peace when Yohaan wakes up because once he is up, our highness starts getting a stream of visitors...one by one, his friends from the complex strart dropping in to play, invariably with their mothers too. Or he wants to visit a friend. Then he has to be fed. Meds, bath time, reading time, afternoon nap...so many things have to be juggled and fitted into the day. I have no clue as to how do mothers with more than one child manage it all! I barely manage one kid!

Usually when we have people coming over I try and finish off as much work as possible the day before. All the chopping,marinating, preparing the dough, soaking and even cleaning. The last thing I do before going to bed is to lay the table. Everything in its place. Then the next day I just wake up a little earlier than my usual time and get down to cooking everything. The curries taste much better if they are prepared way before the actual meal time. Especialy meat. By the time friends come, I am mostly done and can sit down with them and actually enjoy myself too instead of fretting over everything. Tuesdays and thurdays are my busy days because hubster is home for lunch. He looks forward to something nice to eat at home. So tomorow I have to make a nice lunch too apart from the dinner for friends. Years ago, I would have collapsed just thinking about it but now it is a cakewalk. All it takes is good time management skills. And I am good with that. And now that I have publicly declared that, let me sign off and go in to my maid mode. I shall try and post pics of the gathering and the food too ofcourse. Lets see how it all goes. Toodles readers.

Give Me Some Air

...to breathe. I really do need some space and me time. June was one crazy month. You guys must be so tired reading about my never ending 'crazy' days, weeks, months now. What can I say. I am one of those people who attract crazy-ness. The whole world knows that I live in a house as big as a chicken pen. One movement and you are liable to bump in to something- mostly injury inducing. It is a different matter that I still have trouble keeping it clean and organised. Let me not even go there. With the brat becoming more and more naughtier by the day, I have almost given up any semblance of order in my life, and the house is just a small part of my many hassles !

June was a time of unprecedented flow of house guests. Six adults to be precise. All staying with us at the same time. Eldest being somewhere in her 60's and the youngest ofcourse being Yohaan. Hubster's childhood friend calls us one morning from UK, informing us that his dad who works here in the UAE has suffered a stroke and can we please check on him before he flies in himself. So off we go to the hospital and find the old man almost dead due to a massive stroke. Frantic phone calls back and forth, much running around for visit visas and the friend's family arrives en masse. Mom, elder brother and lil sister. And as it happens with us Indians, they ofcourse stayed with us. We wouldn't dream of saying no because it was after all a medical emergency. Again, it is a different matter that Yohaan thought it was all one big partayyyyy! He was so excited and obviously happy with the sudden deluge of guests and the extra attention he garnered.  They were with us for approx 8-9 days.

Mommy, ofcourse died. Cooking, cleaning and responding to needs. I dont want to crib about it because I always like guests. However, hosting folks in a really small house did me in. There were people all over!! Added to that, hubster's another friend from childhood is staying with us for 2 months looking for a job. I kept telling myself it would be okay. Okay. It will pass. The reason why I got so overwhelmed was that I was ill prepared to host anybody at such short or practically no notice. My cartons from the big move 3 months ago are still in  a state of mess. I have only our master bedroom functional because I haven't summoned the energy to fix the guset bed room -yet. The living room/ dining hall has furniture designed for a large house, so there isnt much space. Thankfuly, we do have two bathrooms.  The logistics of 7 adults and one toddler under one tiny roof is pretty nightmarish. I did a good job of being calm but I must confess I lost the battle to chaos, much mess and dirt and a perpetual  state of fatigue. In my mind, this is not the way to live or even host friends. There should be for example clean linen, clean toilets, simple but good food and and an over all sense of control. I had nothing going for me. To their credit, our friends were very accomodating and undemanding. But I still felt inadequate. Nothing I did looked or felt good. Except maybe for the clean/fresh linen I managed to provide everybody.

Miraculously their father did a u-turn and survived the stroke! The family were naturally more relaxed at this news. So were we. Because everybody loosened up. Enough to enjoy some good meals. Some general mall hopping and many laughs reminiscing over childhood stories. I got to know hubster's friend and his family. Got some interesting insights in to family dynamics and most importantly some of the early childhood influences on my husband. I kind of understand better as to why/how he has chosen to be the kind of husband/father /son/friend/brother that he is today. As I closed the door on the last of my guest departing for India, I heaved a sigh of relief and a sent up a grateful thanks to the Lord for my family. It was a mad, hectic week. But not without lessons learnt in gratitude and God's provision for us. He somehow kept me going without falling apart even though I was so not equipped to handle myself leave alone so many guests!

Cherry on the cake you would like to know? In considerable pain Yohaan, who had to go and sprout 6 teeth together in June alone! While the guests were here. Not much I could do. When will it end, Lord?

Hospitality

I and hubby absolutely love having people over to our place for hanging out and no visitor is allowed to leave without a meal if we have our way with them! :) Even before we were married , we had decided that our married house would always be open to everyone and I am glad we have managed to keep that going. Much of it we inherited from our own parents especially our respective fathers who loved entertaining and yes, even unannounced guests were welcome to sup with us anytime of the day.

From how we look at it , is that extending hospitality to guests is a part of our heart, our ministry as a couple, if you will. We love to serve. We cannot imagine saying no to anyone, no matter how inconvenient it could get. So we have entertained and provided for people even if it has meant cancelling our own pre-planned appointments, driving out of the way to pick up folks who dont own a car or are lost, staying up really late at night, cooking with dietary needs in mind and the like. When we invite people over we take great pains to clean, cook and serve with great joy and excitement. Hubby spares no expense in getting the best produce, especially if arrival is expected, but, even if it is unannounced, I ensure that I produce the best I can. We make sure our house looks neat and welcoming, the towels and the toiletory laid out in the guest toliet, colours and books for any kids expected, good music, good lighting, comfortable ambience and of course as good a menu as I ,with my limited skills can manage. Mostly we dont even notice if we have been thanked and appreciated although almost everyone always does. I know we have friends who love visiting us, who enjoy our hospitality but ever so often I also notice that it tends to overwhelm some folks. They either get embarassed or plain ignore our efforts-eat and just leave!! Or what about guests who have abused our hospitality blatantly? I cannot go in to detail about this misusing our hospitality part because it calls for a seperate post. I have had family members and friends who have been invited with great love and who have in turn left us cold with absolutely no show of any feelings once the party's over! I am not saying my guests need to gush and go on about how lovely everything was , even if I say so myself :) , but come on show me some manners!!

If I have been invited to someone's place I would be atleast polite enough to thank the host and compliment them on the food offered to me. I really have no idea how to react to people who come and leave with not even a small thank you! Has anyone come across this kind of weird behaviour? One very close relative was visitng us with her family, it was a surprise visit but I managed to cook up some nice stuff for all of us. Laid the table with my best plates and napkins et all. All long as I was cooking, she kept commenting why was I getting so bothered, why was I cooking so much -which is fine, I appreciate her concern, maybe she was embarassed having dropped in unannounced. But not once did she offer to help me out and when she fnished eating, she got up and walked off from the dining room. I was left to clear all the plates and dishes. Now in the Indian culture, we dont really expect our guests to remove their plates etc, but she was family!! I feel she could have offered at least! Later, when she left, no thank you nothing. See, my point is ?Ofcourse I didnt expect her to go ga-ga over my cooking, which is nothing to write home about anyway, but it is all about remembering our social graces! I will continue to have visitors because I love it, but once in a while an insensitive guest leaves me hurt and bewildered!

Then the other week we had overnight guests from out of country. Again, we went all out. I made sure the guest bedroom and bathroom were spic and span with pretty linen, flowers and accessories, basically the works. I should have probably not bothered because these folks trashed the guest room before leaving! I couldnt help but think that my house was literally used like a cheap hotel room! The bed was left dirty and unmade, towels and scraps of paper, plastic bags from their shopping left on the bed, pillows thrown around somewhere(?), the bed side lamp left on, toliets wet and messy with shampoo bottle left opened, toothpaste gone (somewhere?) the bed side accessories like candles and stuff moved away and left on the floor to make space for their personal belongings like specs,loose change etc....the curtains drawn and windows open inspite of me warning them of dust storm outside....topped off with no thank you as they left our home. Is this how we behave when we visit someone's home? I take great pains to keep a neat and a pretty house. That is my pride and my calling and I am taken aback when guests like the one's I described cant figure it out and dont seem to care! It is a simple matter of being considerate! Goodness the number of times I must have checked and re-checked the guest room for any signs of dust, dirt, clutter and discomfort! And I would like to add that I am heavily pregnant amidst all this. I tried not show my dismay to my husband , but I think he knew it and even before I could say anything at all and he immediately apologised for his friends' behaviour. The friends in question are not bachelors although why should that be an excuse for living like a pig in someone else's house pray tell? They are married and I wonder are they not learning anything from their wives? My mother always used to say that I could teach a lot to my husband around the house. Just like we teach our children, husbands too have a lot to learn or shall I say un-learn from their bachelor days. Like, taking a small gift for the host, offering to help the lady of the house, not being loud and obnoxious and bossy in a social gathering, complimenting the hostess on the food etc.

Thankfully my husband is very well groomed, but yes, there have been so many changes that I have brought in to his life and his lifestyle....he appreciates a clean house, a pretty house, a fridge that always has food for visitors, a guest bed which is always ready to be used, fresh linen, a willingness to cook and serve no matter how tired I am, a pot of tea and snacks always available, these are qualities which we always expected of each other and so I also know he wont be behaving like some of our guests have done :) when he does visit without me, because trust me, I am not letting him get away with teen like behaviour such as that! Not that his mother did not have all of the above qualities but he shows me his appreciation that I as his wife , also carry on the important tradition of hospitality. How about some folks doing their bit as guests when they visit us? Cant help but generalise that we women do add that extra bit of sensitivity and chivalry to our men folk eh? But on the other hand what about my rude female relative? So really, this must be about our hearts not our gender maybe? Some of us just dont get it !!

''As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord'' Joshua 24:15 reminds me that I must carry on, whomever we serve , in whichever manner, we must as if we are serving the Lord!

Excellent...feeling better now.