And baby makes three!

And am back! This post was meant to be done quite some time ago, last year infact, about becoming a mother and all that jazz. Yohaan happened, and how he happened! Life underwent such a huge change that I ended up imposing a sabbatical on myself and my dear blog! Six months on and I am still at a loss for words. But let me try anyways.

What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!

Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?

You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!

I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!

I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!

Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and hope...you make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!