Some Shelf Love

By now all my readers must have got used to me missing-often-in-action! The thing is I mostly have nothing interesting to share. Not even pictures even though there are so many in the camera waiting to be transferred. I am the original lazy bum and we dont want to ruin that image now. I cannot say if I can keep bloggin on a regular basis because well, I dont want to waste your time, and we are kind like that. Thank you,.

Now but, I would like to share some pictures. Patricia(based here in Dubai) of the very colourful and inspiring blog  organises these lovely linky parties. I have been meaning to join them since ages but I always seem to miss the deadlines. *heavy sighing* But this time around I managed to do something about it. Cleaned, dusted, placed some of my favourite bits and pieces and took pictures (that is important you know) and am finally linking up to her show and tell 'Shelf Stories'.

I live in a chicken coop for a house. Less than a thousand foot sqaure, space is a premium. Add to the woes of teeny-tiny space,  a complete lack of storage . We have nothing, and I mean nothing. So this open rack/shelf has to be practical and pretty both. See for yourselves. Many of the pieces dispalyed here are from the Dubai Flea Market where I have spent many a blissful saturdays. I love flea markets. Dubai doesn't seem to have much of a flea market culture (I think because everybody is super wealthy??) and I hardly ever see any Indians there. Which is sad really. But I digress. Now then, on to some pictures. Hope you like 'em.

This is in one corner of my living room. Me and hubby are voracious readers, so you see books books all over. I also love plants and a combination of both is my favourite way to decorate!

A close up of the top tier. That big bowl is from our holiday in Turkey.

The second shelf houses my meagre silver collection. The tea set is a part of my wedding gift. And is antique.

The bottom two shelves. The ceramic orange pot is from a roadside in New Delhi and the wooden/silver pipe is a flea market find. Pretty isn't it?

And the whole of it! The cushions in the background have been stitched by me btw.  Why yes, thank you.

And my wooden hanging shelf. You will find it in every home which loves to shop at FabIndia, which is where we picked it from when we bought our first house here in Dubai. Since we were broke buying that house, we couldn't have bought anything more expensive. I do love it though. The little miniature pottery pieces you see here are from all over. Japan, Turkey, Yemen China and ofcourse the flea market.

A close up of the same shelf.
Can you guess I have a thing for collecting cute little tea pots? Well, I do.

And that my love is the End. It took me a good one hour to get this up and I am wondering how will I find time to do this on a regular basis. We shall see. Thankfuly, Patty is way more inspired and hardworking than me.

Lazy Friday

In UAE, our weekend is Friday/Saturday and Sunday is the first working day of the week. I have for the last five years lived out crazy-busy weekends here. Before we became parents, we used to go out all the time but weekends were especially hectic. Infact, I think they were more tiring than the weekdays even though we worked at full time jobs. Things have slowed down a bit- only a bit, mind you. Today has been one such day. A rare friday when we have stayed home the whole day, cooked and eaten at home and are expecting nobody for dinner. My weekends are rather crazy otherwise. Packed with outings, errands and socialising/hosting friends. It is amlost as if it is taboo to have a quiet realxed time on fri/sat! Honestly! For a long time I remember, I would feel depressed if no plans had been made by wednesday. It was a compulsion to be out and about. Sounds mad no?

Last night as I finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, I made mysef stop and think hard. And I realised that I badly needed to just be 'STILL'. I am constantly on the move if not physicaly then mentaly. I actually stood still near the kitchen sink, looked out of the window, deep in thought  and decided that we will stay home on friday. The original plan was to attend church (which takes half a day-almost) and then drive down to Fujairah to meet friends for lunch/dinner. But guess what, I just couldn't face a long day out with a pesky kid and sleep deprivation. I function on six hours of sleep, a bad back which play up only during night and a full day of chores. So I informed hubster that I would like to relax and rewind at home. No malls, no errands, no meeting anybody for a meal, no going for some show or exhibition and figured I would more than survive the seemingly 'boring' day at home instead. In Dubai, everybody loves to hang out at a mall. I may be over-generalising a bit but bear with me. Over the last few months, I have become so disenchanted with malls. They are tiring and mindless. People think that because it is so hot and humid here they have nothing to do except hang around a mall. No doubt the malls are cool, clean and serious eye candy but there's only so much hanging around a mall you can do, right?

Anyway, I speak for myself. We have been making a serious and a concious effort to keep Yohaan away from big huge malls and are doing rather well. We have made an effort to take him to the beach, the different city parks, Abra rides, The Spice Souq, Zoo and Aquariums and the times when we dont go out, I ensure he plays in the appartment complex's beautifuly landscaped lawns and several sand pits and play areas built especially for kids living here. I just let him be. He is so happy when he he is down there, getting dirty and meeting lots of other children from so many nationalities! That is priceless. Children from Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Syria, SriLanka, Pakistan, Phillipines, Indonesia, Azerbaijan, England, Germany, Russia, USA, Canada, Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Nepal., Malaysia, Singapore, China...and these are just some of the nationalities in our complex. Brilliant no? Thats Dubai for you guys!

With so much already on our plate, therefore, I really do need to calm down. It has been a long, lazy day. I just lounged around in a plain old tattered T-shirt and shorts and asked the boys to look after themselves. While I pottered around the house. Brought out some knick-knacks which were stored away and had to be showcased, did up the guest bathroom with some old bottles and candles. Organised our clothes. Cleaned the balcony and repotted a few older plants which were begging for  some TLC, folded tons of laundry, dusted off my miniature chinese pottery collection, sorted my craft basket and even decoupaged an old coffee bottle . I am tired but happy to have accomplished so much at my own pace. There was no mad rush to get anywhere, no seeking of excitement and thrill outside of home. All three of us just did our own thing. I suspect hubster watched 2-3 movies back to back and Yohaan has played with water the whole day in varying ways which only a toddler can manage, just dont  even ask!

Okay now, confession time. Tomorow, I have a trip to Dubai Flea Market planned with a girlfriend and yes, we will go sans kids. This will be the first time I will leave him alone with his dad at home. I am a bit torn that he is growing up so fast and seems to be okay hanging out with dad. Anyhow, I think I am born to have extra-busy weekends. Which makes the point of this post rather pointless. Hmmm.

There is only so much one can do!

Everybody knows I love to cook. If I am  not cooking  I can be surely found cleaning my kitchen or simply pottering around there. It is by far my favourite hangout in the whole house. Did I ever mention that I love to also do dishes by hand. Yes sir, I dont have a dishwasher in this new rented flat having sold off our dishwasher to our tenant. Back in the older villa, I hardly ever chose to use it anyway because I find washing dishes by hand very calming. You give me any amount of dishes to be cleaned and I am a happy bunny! At every informal party with friends or family here, I am always the first to offer to clean up once the meal is over. Infact, I get restless to do the dishes much to the host's embarassment! Must tell you all about this one time when my neighbour invited me to do her dishes after a party she had organised and was left with a big pile of washing up. She knew about my obsession so she took up my offer to help. Well, I was in dish-washing-heaven! I loved it. In turn she made lunch for Yohaan and me. Yes, yes we are weird like that. Werid neighbours included...

Anyway, I digress. The other day MSIN called me for a chat. I informed her with fair amount of pride that I had prepared roast Lamb Shanks for our dinner. The first time ever. It was fun and tasted Yumm eve though I say so myself. With some green vegetables and bread it was all good. But unfortunately, the hubster of mine totally freaked for some reason. He found the 'largish' size of the shanks a turn off and he refused dinner!!! How crazy is that now??? How can the size of a meal turn someone off? What about the presentation? The taste? The effort put in? I was pretty crushed actually considering he is a hard core carnivore....I thought he can eat anything dead and cooked...But see, thats the thing with hubster. He hates change. I have been given strict instructions not to experiment in the kitchen which I find rather frustrating. It's like having to curb y creative instincts in one area I know I am good in. Over the years, he has refused many a meals because he deemed them too different from the usual! Arghhh!

So then, dinner that day was a fiasco with neither of us touching the darned shanks! Yohaan included. Hmpppph. The boys were hungry though and I quickly came up with this awesome chicken salad. I have no name for it although the stuff that goes in to it ?The usual suspects. Mayo, mustard, cooked diced chicken cubes etc. I am sure some reader from the western hemishphere will find it familiar. For us south Asians, or atleast for my family, this is a novelty since we dont eat salad by itself as a meal! Salad is strictly on the sides to accompany the main course. And often just as spicy! So without further ado, let me recap this super quick, easy-peasy creamy chicken salad for those times when your partner is being a spoilt brat!

1 cup of diced apple. I used Granny Smith ones because that is what I had on hand.
1 cup of roasted walnuts or mixed nuts. I had lots of raisins in it too. Roast the nuts.
1 cup of  mixed  fresh grapes. I halved them all. And included the juice that ran.
1 cup of salad leaves - lettuce. I used ice-berg.
1/2 cup of  diced celery.
1 cup of peeled and seperated Pomegranate seeds. It gave a lovely red colour and the juice was ever so sweet.
2.5 cups of cooked/boiled (in salted water) chicken - diced.

Mix all of the above in a large salad bowl except the raosted nuts. Now make a dressing by mixing 1 cup of  regular mayo, although I had only garlic falvoured mayo in my fridge- which is fine too, 1/4 cup of honey and 1/4 cup of mustard sauce. Salt and pepper according to taste but not too much. Pour this over the assembled salad greens. Mix well. Top it off with the roasted nuts. Serve with any bread of your choice. I served it with Khaboos- Arab local bread. And Iced tea. Doesn't it sound easy to put together. Unless ofcourse you dont stock cooked chicken bits for times such as these in which case you will have to prepare the chicken first. I usually cook and keep chicken along with bones and stock too, mostly for Yohaan' meals. It is wholesome and nutritous. Do play around with the greens you want to use and some of you may want to drop the nuts due to allergies. Feel free. I just threw in whatever I found in my fridge. And yes, the hubster and brat both ate it and liked it but hubster was back to his old ways. He said to me, 'It is really nice, but next time and at all times, please stick to Indian'. Clearly, there's no pleasing a certain someone around here! 

Growing Through Motherhood

Growing Through Motherhood

Came across this beautiful post on one of my favourite blogs. Just when I had screamed at Yohaan for the n'th time! Enjoy and be blessed!

To Be Home and Happy

It has taken me five years of marriage and half of that being a mother that my calling to be a home maker and a mother is not to be taken for granted and is infact a serious thing. I have written about being lonely earlier. But as time has gone by, I am suddenly struck by a realisation that I am actually lonely no more. You see, if I was/am doing my job at home properly I would hardly get time to breathe or chew or wear my coordinated churidaars (Indian pants worn with a long tunic) and trust me that wont make for a sexy sight!

 No, I am not talking about filling my schedule with mindless chores the entire time but even so I'd say, if I was/am putting in my best efforts in my everyday homemaking/parenting routine I wont have time or the energy to be 1.discontented and 2. resentful 3. lonely. I entered wedlock with the best of intentions ofcourse. Everyone does am sure. I had visions of being the ever loving and understanding wife. My recipe  journal was full of lovely south Indian stuff to be cooked for hubster. I looked forward to being his companion in the true sense. But a few months in to it and boy! I was in for a shock. I would like to clarify that my husband is extremely non-demanding. But anyhow, many things didnt go the way I had envisioned married life to be. I mean, why but why do you have to drink coffee when I make better chai-latte? And why must you insist on eating rice for all meals when I am a chapati girl? And why must you watch the news after work when clearly you can use that time to sit with me, hold my hands and look deep in to my eyes and tell me that I cook better than your mother? (Err, I am obsessed with food I think)

None of those things happened and if I were to get real it never does! It's not like I was a terribly young and a naive bride. I got hitched at the grand old age of 28! But as they say, some folks dont wanna grow up...looks like I didn't either! Over the years being married (mainly), I developed a deep sense of self-entitlement. My needs. My wants. My shopping. My outings. My friends. My lonliness. My comforts and convenience. What about me?? I had no clue that marriage by it's very nature is self sacrificial and involves loads of dying to one self. And mothering takes the cake. Although whatever I do now for my son does not feel like a sacrifice to me at least. But it is no doubt tiring and exhausting and that can be eroding physicaly if nothing else. I am diabetic and overweight. I do workout but for the longest time I never did, thus running low on energy fuel all the time leading to much impatience with life in general. It was only after I started doing something about my heath and weight loss that I realised how much I was missing in life by being sickly all the time. So yes, in a way it all started with me. If mommy ain't happy- nobody is happy. But my sense of self went much deeper and at alarming depths. And that was making me a deeply lonley and an unhappy person. It didnt seem like hubster understood much of that. As far as he is concerned, I am married to the love of my life so what's all this nonny about being lonely and restless?

About six to seven months ago, I started praying really hard for some kind of perspective on my emotional state. And slowly as days went by, the layers started peeling off. I found that my entire being and identity is connected to God and my walk with him. So while I was running restless the answer was to be still in the Lord. Just as gradually it started dawning on me that I am nowhere near fullfilling the purpose God has assigned to my life. My home and my family was to be my calling and my purpose. Everything else comes after. If my laundry for the day is not done then I really dont need to sit down with a long and a needless phone call. If dinner is not ready on time then I have no business going out for a coffee. If any of my chores for the day is not done properly and on time, then in essence I am guilty of neglecting my calling to be a wife and amother of real virtue. It is not about performance you see. The kind of person I am, I need to have order and beauty and structure to thrive on a daily basis. I think it is wonderful that God has ordained that I work this out for myself and not be at the mercy of an external agnecy to provide that stability and structure. It is so apt that I dont work outside. I would go mad because I draw great encouragement and satisfaction from a job well done. If i were hold a job, I wouldn't be doing justice to it or to my house and family. And God knew that even before I was conceieved (Psalm 139)! And that to me is very humbling. To know that each one of us are perfectly made and given assignments according to our inherent nature and personalities. So some women thrive on a profesional challenge some women like me, totally dig being home makers.

When this realisation dawned upon me that I am the CEO of my home-ministry a lot of things fell in to place. My restlesness settled down and the biggest thing of all I have learnt to prioritise and say 'no'. I used to mourn about lack of meaningful friendships/girlfriends but I also realised that in this season of my life I really cannot invest outside my house in terms of time and energy. Oh yes, I do love to hang out with people. I love to party, love to dress up and go out, love shopping and everything else out there.  I am an extrovert to the core but then this season is also about learning hard lessons. My marriage is still young and my son even younger. God willing, we will have more children some day. And the lessons learnt now will come in so handy in the years to come. Hopefuly I will have more emotional maturity, stability , a happy marriage, well groomed children and a loving home to show for it. In order to achieve even some of that I need to be STILL now and keep my ears and eyes open. If I am not able to call a friend for a long chat or if I am not able to attend a Bible study or a small house group study, or volunteer at church or go out for any random outing with a girlfriend or not be able to organise tons of playdates for Yohaan- so be it.

I know my own capabilities and how much can be accomplished by me. I am a really efficient and a fast worker but have a tendency to get overwhelmed when the workload is huge. It begins to bother me and I start obsessing over strategies to overcome. Which is what I have been up to these past few months...devising plans to be a happy home maker and becoming efficient and learning along the way. I hardly thought of blogging, and it has taken me around six months to breathe easy now. I think I can safely say that my house is running on well oiled wheels. Routines have been developed, tweeked and re-tweeked and sucessfuly implemented. Mornings, afternoons and evenings are in control. Has it been easy? Heck no! I am sinfuly lazy and keeping myelf motivated has been a challenge pretty often. But oh, I sleep better at night and I am a lot more fit than I have ever been. Thats a huge bonus apart from a happy family which is well cared for. Err, I am still hopeless with the family socks though....I dont know what happens to them and hubster has to keep buying more and more. Not funny ok? So if you guys ever wondered why do I keep disappearing for such long periods it is because I was busy building my nest and now with the new found ideas, rest and time are ever, ever out of reach. I am not complaining though just saying.

As if to affirm whatever stuff I was getting convicted of  'not doing' with  my time, energy and talents a situation arose which seems to me totally godsend. I had a maid for a few months. Loved her. She was a young muslim lady from Bangladesh. Honest, dilligent and caring about all of us and our house. But with my new self I was getting increasingly convinced that I needed to be the 'worker' at home and not hire a paid employee to do 'my' work. I have nothing against hiring domestic help. They give us tremendous comfort and convenience no doubt, leaving us rested and free to pursue many other things on our agendas. My maid was a real sweetheart but I was finding it very difficult to terminate her services. Poverty stricken and miles away from her own husband and children she needs every dirham that she can make. I also dont think she would have understood my position. So i kept delaying asking her to leave. But then God worked in His ever so funny way! She got pregnant when her husband visited her briefly and she was too sick to work. She gave in her notice and stopped coming . I am happy for her but worried too as to how will she handle her finances now. But  I was also silently thanking God for confirming it with a sign to me that my house and family has to be looked after by me - chiefly. I have decided not to hire any more help and am totally relaxed about it.

Here are some things I decided to implement in order to become more like a Titus woman i,e looking after the affairs of my home and not going around gallavanting!

1. No TV. Easy for me since I am big time anti TV anyway. I watch like 10 minutes of TV in a month maybe.

2.No ladies Bible study and No mom-toddler church meet. Once upon a time I longed to belong to such groups but am over that need for now. Maybe one day my house can be used to meet up though. Till then I shall be happy to be home.

3. Time spent on the www. A biggie for me because I love to net surf , facebook and blog hop. It had become an epic addiction. Not anymore. This also includes blogging. I have so much to share but no time to do it as often as i would like to. I did have ambitious plans for this blog but looks like it shall all have to wait....but then again if I am more organised and efficient I could sneak in a post or two, for those of you who must miss me so much. I hear you buddy, I hear you. FB takes away a lot of quality time and now except for status updates I dont stay on it for longer than 5 minutes literally! Good job eh?

4. Wake up way earlier than the rest of the members which would be hubster and Yohaan. I now wake up at 6 am everyday except saturday when I take my day off and do no cleaning or cooking. All meals are either a takeaway or we go out. I personaly love visitng IKEA for breakfast, easy on the pocket and nutritous too.  And it helps that we live very close to it. Lunch on a saturday is always a seafood fest -Kerela style(love crabs and shrimps) and dinner is always something from our family favourite Pakistani joint. Here I go on about food again.

5. Getting up early gives me a great headstart and I dont find myself running around like a headless chicken the rest of the day. Once I am up, I finish my shower and get fully dressed down to my shoes even! And yes, yes ofcourse, there is makeup carefuly applied and coordinated jewelery too! I have a lovely collection of silver stuff which I love to wear on a daily basis. It' just my small strategy to beat early morning blues and lethargy. Guess what! Many ladies in my appartment complex have actually come up to me and complimented me on my efforts and some have even told me how I inspire them to take more interest in themselves. So the new rule? No more lounging around in pajama's or sweats or God forbid a tattered nightdress all through the day. Crisp cottons are laid out the previous night, hair is oiled and washed and conditioned regularly, nails are trimmed and well groomed as are the feet, shoes are comefy but stylish, sometimes colour coordinated bangles are worn too which can be a bit of a pain while doing dishes but never mind- all for a good cause after all ! :) It makes me feel ready for the day and pretty and the best thing is that my son already notices all this and will sometimes kiss me with joy if I am looking very colourful that day! How sweet is that huh?

6. Finally, every friday we do our grocery shopping. I buy my fresh produce for the whole week ahead, including meat and poultry and sea food. As you know, weekend in this part of the middle east is fri/sat. So the next morning saturday, the only work I do is wash-chop-dice-slice-marinate. I chop and dice ALL my veggies and bag them up in ziplocs ready to be used. All the meat is portioned and marinated if required,bagged and frozen. Ginger and garlic paste is ground and stored away. Tomatoes are pureed and boxed in the fridge. I never ever buy any canned goods. I buy blocks of cheese and grate them all on saturday and box it. I also make a week's worth of some Indian chutney. I rarely run out of fresh produce. Everything has it's place in the fridge and makes taking inventory also super convenient. Throughout the week, because my menu is pre-planned, all I have to do is pull out the required bags of vegetables and meat and enjoy my cooking. This takes me about two hours in total on a saturday morning and is sooo soooo sooo totally worth it. Maybe some of you can try this. Try chopping every vegetable that is well, 'chopable'. Life will rock!

I have a lot many more strategies to make life at home productive and joyful and contented. Will share ideas as we go along. For now, I must hit publish post because I have taken the whole day to write this in bits and pieces between chores. And it is late and I have tons to do tomorow because the day after we are going to India for a week to see my mother in law. As usual, yours truly is looking forward to some major shopping in India. Now, your turn to write in a share your home making ideas with me. Ok?

EGR- Extra Grace Required!

Rick Warren in his bestselling book 'Purpose Driven Life' apart from talking about many wonderful things, also talks about how in life we meet certain kind of people who come under the category of 'Extra grace required'. When I read this I found it very funny and kept chuckling to myself. Oh sure, I can come up with a big huge list of such folks I thought. I mean, haven't we all constantly met people who drive us up the wall? That annoying manager, that weird neighbour, that foolish young cousin and so on? Infact, I am sure I could possibly be on someone's list too. Ouch!

No, but you know what, I am having to come over here and vent. This post is dedicated to my neighbour, lets call her X. This lady has forced me to loose it completely. As it is I have this pressure to be a good wife, a good mother, a good home maker, a good daughter, friend, lover, sister, chef, chauffer, pacifier, counsellor and what not and here she comes along and unravels it all with one thoughtless comment or an insensitive remark or some insanely selfish act. I will try and not bitch about her but lets get it clear folks, it is tough not to. So we met last year in the corridoors. While playing with our respective brats. Her's is a two year old while mine is two  going on twenty but that is not the issue here. We started chatting and were happy to discover that we are both born again christians. How difficult can getting along be and what are the chances that living in an Islamic republic you have a Christian neighbour sa? Mobile numbers were exchanged. Promises to visit were made. The mandatory expat-questions asked and a playdate arranged for the very next day. So we went to her house as planned. Enter mamma and Yohaan- wait what's that smell. Smells like poo-literally! And it was all over the living room. X seemed blissfuly okay about this, so we also braved it and plonked down on the couch. Which was unbelievably filthy! Took a deep breath....calm down mamma, she is as hassled as you are with a toddler around and there is only so much one can do. Shut up and dont judge. However, tell me this readers, how can one not be upset about such obvious filth? Without judging, but really it is your house, please keep it clean and okay so the visitors are not the presidential variety still show some consideration no? I can happily let my son play with mud and sand and muck but asking him to fool around in human crap is asking for a LOT! Lets not forget that we are never offered anything to eat or drink, but that is okay because we could die of the germs found all over her house you know! And we dont want that.

And this hygene thingy has been never corrected. Her house is a landmine of germs and I have no idea how to refuse her invitations to visit. But wait there is more. I get asked all kinds of weird questions for eg: how much money does you husband give you to spend on yourself? To me that is as bad as asking me my salary which err, by the way is zilch. While I am trying to come up with a suitable answer I get this- are you happy in your marriage, do you have plenty of sex? I have no words now. Many of you would wonder why did I keep going back to her...inspite of such exemplary behaviour on her part. Well I have to be honest here then. Initially for the longest time, it was out of sheer lonliness. The need to bond with another new mother, some woman- any woman- to get some break. And the bonus of having a child who is close to Yohaan's age seemed like a blessing. So he too would have a friend. I continued it for more than six months. We have visited each other often along with our boys. Cooked for each other. Talked a lot about parenting, our faith, our lives here in Dubai and back in India. But something kept us from clicking, that feeling of 'Oh i have a good friend in her' never happened. Soon I reached a stage in our relationhip where I withdrew emotionaly  but kept up the pretense for Yohaan\s sake because he really loves her little boy. But I now realise I was wrong. I wasn't being sincere in my friendship and am ashamed to admit that I haven't been real with her.

About two months ago, X started fussing about Yohaan's behaviour. Her son is essenially a loner and hates being touched. He will sometimes not want even his mother to hug him or cuddle him or kiss him. He has been spoilt and over protected to the extent that anything and everything which wont go his way will send him flying in to a tantrum. Now Yohaan is the other opposite. He is extremely social, mild mannered and very demonstrative. He is quite the touchy-feely sorts too. Till date I cannot recount a single tantrum of his. Easy going and calm by nature, like his dad I guess. Yohaan has been known to bestow kisses and huggies on random people at malls and parks. Which by the way has been deemed as dangerous behaviour by X what with so many sick people on the prowl. I cannot compare because all children are different and have their own individual personalities. But try getting such polar opposites to play peacefuly and you might want to check in to rehab! So when Yohaan wants to hug his friend he will scream and cry which makes X think Yohaan is being rough or worse, hitting her son! She will then be very stern and ask me to leave or ask me to spank Y. And this happens at every single playdate. Never mind that her son refuses to share his toys, will hit Yohaan for hugging him etc. See what I am dealing with here?

   I have diagnosed that the problem is not our kids, it is us mothers. We claim to believe in the same word of God but clearly we are not on the same page here. We come from very different cultural backgrounds inspite of being Indians. We are from a different social class, economic background, we studied differently, we eat and wear differently, we are married to men who themselves are polar opposites of each other. Even though the body of Christ is above all this I am just so sad that these differences have crept between us. Satan will try his best to cause rifts. However, in all honesty I can claim that I have tried very hard to be forgiving and understanding but now I cannot go on because she has consistently proven to be toxic. From the way I keep my house, the way my husband makes money, to my mothering style, the church I go to, the clothes I wear, the make up I use, to our outings, our lifestyle-she has a strong opinion on everything and will never ever refrain from voicing it out. One remark like ''why do you fuss over your husband's meals so much'' or ''Yohaan will become gay if you let him play with your scarves and makeup'' not only astound me they hurt me to the core. I cannot believe that an educated person leave alone a Christian can speak like this! Often I have come back from her house in tears because I have been hurt and felt judged.

Apparently, she has been gossiping about me to my maid (we share one) and has called our friendship (or whatever there is left of it) a waste of time. I got to know about it this afternoon and this was the last straw. I am  not wanted and it has taken me so long to realise it. I normally dont give attention to what the other wives are talking amongst themselves simply because it it mindless gossip and I have no time to sometimes breathe, leave alone socialise. All I wanted was to get out for a while and meet somebody nice and get my son to have fun with other kids. It breaks my heart to see my son, who is such a social being like his parents, be alone and not have kids to play with. Anyhow, just as I am done writing this post I think hubster and me should get busy and make a sibling for Y, a playmate if you will. What say?

And now that I have vented, please do feel free to send me lotsa love and concerned filled comments. I have finally decided to let go of X. Good from far, far from good!! Should anyone feel I can handle this differently or you have a strategy to basically feel better about this, send me a lecture. Am open to all kinds of advise. I guess I am also looking for assurance that I am doing good by saying goodbye to this so called friendship. She is my EGR person and I want to breathe again. Good, that feels better now. Breathing. (Such a drama queen)

Lot of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

...or something like that! I had/have tons to share but have been preoccupied  with a whole lot of stuff going on in my head (mostly), hence the title of the post. I really thought that keeping this blog updated wont be a big deal but I was clearly wrong.. It takes up a lot of time if nothing and that is one commodity I am always short of. I cannot believe that I have been away nearly four long months...anyhow, we shall see how productive I am going to be hence forth. Oh by the way, have just returned from my bi-annual vacation in India. So am still settling down. I need a holiday now to  recover from this holiday. If you are a long time reader (which I doubt), you will know how difficult it is for me to visit India even for a day! Different reasons , all personal to me. Travelling with a brat on top of that simply adds to the woes. However, needs must and all that. So the grandparents and grandson were thrilled to be together while mamma was as usual miserable.

Except . For the shopping. But. Ofcourse! I am easy to please that way, just take me shopping and I am your girl. Mean but also true is the fact that I enjoy shopping only when I am the direct beneficiary or my house is. Infact, can you believe it, I get bored shopping even for my own son! Some serious gene-defect going on here...

Tomorow I shall be back with details of why's and how's (is an apostrophe needed here) I have been missing in action. Will be kind enough to let you all sneak in to that mind of mine which kept me away from my faithful (and lucky) readers. OK ?  OK.