Happy-To-Be-Home

....anddddd we are back!

2012-02-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

Hello my darling readers. how have you all been? Me? Am doing great. We arrived from India about three weeks ago and are happy to report that regular programing in the Johnson household has resumed. I came back to a house which bore a really neglected air about it . Hubster had been only cleaning the bathrooms and changing the bed sheets. Thats it and oh, he just about kept my plants alive. Small mercies I suppose...

I have a long post scheduled on my trip home. The family reunion, the big fat Indian wedding of a nephew, the travelling, Christmas with family and the bad, bad winters. Suffice it to say, I somehow survived it all and when it was time to head back home in Dubai, I was so ready! Me and the son came back with nasty flu and various kinds of germs in us and are infact still not fuly recovered. But then that is an expected part of traveling to India so really I am not complaining. I have been very, very busy settling down and because this trip was a longish one, it took me some time to shake off a strange kind of disoriented feeling. I however had no time to sit down and introspect, the house needed serious TLC. For somebody like me, who is very houseproud, it was all too much to take. The clean up was daunting. Weeks of accumulated dust, empty pantry and an empty fridge, linen closet in a mad, random chaos thanks to hubster rummaging there for clean bed sheets and towels, plants dying on me, shower supplies over and so on. I plunged right in and so far am doing great getting the house in order. Over the weekend in an unusually morose mood, I waited for hubster to take us out for an outing and he surprised me with a shopping trip to ceebrate my return from India because he knows retail therapy will make me get up from the dead too!

Off we went to our favourite mall close to our house. We went to the Mirdiff City Centre and headed straight for the home decor stores. I had nothing planned as such. Just browsed around and found myself gravitating towards all things red! Two hours later and armed with some pretty loot we back home and I got to work in the living room. It was 1.00 am but I could not to be stopped. Hubster looked on indulgently while Yohaan as usual drove me mad asking me to count all the things we had picked up. My little man is obsessing about colours and numbers these days. Gawwddd! Dont even ask. Another day maybe.

I finished my living room makeover. Changed the layout after a little more than a year. It has become a bit cramped but looks nice nevertheless. I shall post a mini series of before and after pictures to give you all a perspective of the changes I made. And I have tons of red all over! Which also brings me back to linky parties! Yayyy for Patricia of coloursdekor and the weekly link up parties she hosts. I missed joining the linkups every week while I was away I only got around to visiting her blog tonight and was pleasantly surprised to find the theme of this week to be the colour RED! or a post on love (and I am guessing much mush too....). .What a fabulous conicidence! Just as I have finished changing my living room from mainly blues to red. Now dahlings, enough of me rambling on and on, lets hop on to this linky love partayyyy! I present to you some pictures.

My favourite shelf in the house gets some TLC. I got all my red spined books and stacked them together.

I stacked each shelf with colour coordinated knick-knacks with books. You can see black, red and blue shelves.

Just red bottles which I had originally planned to group here looked OTT so I added some other spring colours to tone it down. All red looked like it was still Xmas!

My new table placemats all in red and one of them being used for the topper. Also picked up this darling little mounted red ceramic cart like thingy, love it!

A close up of the same, isn't it cute and err, a lil christmassy too, but never mind that!

New Cushionios! I got a set in plain red too...forgot to take pictures though...

And finaly, take a look at that tiny little hand made appliqued heart motif , which I had made two years ago for my christmas table setting. I put it up here because the all black top tier of this shelf got too edgy for me and the red adds a nice pop of colour.

That's it guys. I am done for now. At least I have begun blogging again huh? i am on a major roll over here cleaning/organising my house and basicaly wanting to start afresh in the new year. I have some wonderful plans for the boy's room, he needs to be seperated from me now (I suppose) and shall be a proud owner of a bedroom all for himself. I have also resolved on going easy on www surfing. I simply dont have enough time and while I was away it hit me hard as to how much time I really do 'waste' sitting with my laptop! Being a home maker when you have tons of exciting plans for your house and more importantly the husband gives you the go ahead, \is seriously fun!! I hope you all are having a wonderful year so far. Be back for more stories about my winter holidays in India.

'Tis the Season to be Happy

2011-12-24T10:45:00.000-08:00

Here's me wishing all of you out there, a truly Blessed Christmas and 2012 filled with God's Love, Mercy and Peace.

I am currently holidaying in India with my folks for the X'mas season and shall be back to UAE by the second week of Jan. This explains the reason for my absence from here. I am expecting a lot of family members from far and wide to join us for a big fat Indian Chrismas with tons of yummy food, music and memories. Will have lots to share once I am back. Also, am sorry that I have not found time to rely to all your comments and mails to me. Everytime I visit my family, I resolve to be off the computer for the entire period I am here, so blogging and facebook are neglected too. I need the rest and the break and this staying away from all technology and gadgets does wonders for me. My cell phone is also switched off as I never get my international roaming service activated. So I take or make no phone calls. Bliss.

This whole month has been all about sleep, sleep and sleep and not having to lift a finger thanks to the fleet of maids my parents employ and who enjoy pampering me. Yohaan has six people in his 'service' and each one has been instructed to stay with him at all times and basicaly let his mommy chill. Eeeeks, how mean that sounds but honestly on this visit I am truly physicaly tired so I am giving in to all the spoiling and pampering. No, I am not complaining baby! And you should see how my boy goes around bossing everyone too! Everybody is rather happy. We shall come crashing down on earth once we are back in Dubai and our life re-starts our usual programming. LOL. I am again going crazy trying to decide if I want to employ a maid once I return...but that is how mad I usually am! My mother has been on my case to hire one and is totaly amazed that I choose not to hire one.

So anyhow, we shall meet again in a few weeks. There has'nt much happened but still lots to share. And I shall be relying to your kind comments asap. I will! So long then, toodles my lovely readers.

To School or Not To school

2011-10-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

With my son turning three end of November this year, a lot of people have been asking us and/or advising us to send him to school, if not a big one, then a small play school. I am not so sure about that though. I suppose it is a common practise now a days with parents sending their children as young as eighteen months to play schools. Last week I bumped in to my former manager at a local resturant here in Dubai. She has a daughter only fifteen days older than my son. And this little girl has been enrolled in to a nursery school. Not a play school mind you, but a proper pre-nursery curriculum. I was curious so I asked her what do they teach if it is not just free play? Apparently they train the children in making sandwhiches (for eg) , colours based on some themes, numbers and alphabets also based on themes and in play way method. Sounds good. But is that all I should be sending my child to school for? I think not.

I believe there is a lot to it than meets the eye and on different levels. I am a teacher by qualification and have taught some before I decided to stay home. It would be fair to assume that I sort of know about educatiing children in general. Now that I am a mother too, it becomes even more important that I give it great thought and planning. Firstly though, let me make it clear that I have nothing major against schooling system in general. I come from a country where education while greatly valued, also comes cheap if you are reasonably well off. Anybody who can, will take a higher degree from a university. India infact, is one of the countries which has the largest number of universities and colleges in the world! That should tell you something. But getting a degree is not what the intention should be. It is improtant to me personaly and I dont want to bring up my child thinking that a fancy degree will solve all his problems in life. It gets you only so far after all.

So why am I resisting sending Yohaan to any kind of establishment yet? It is my belief that I, as his mother, should be his primary teacher. I should be the biggest influence on him along with his father. I should be his chief care giver. I am most certainly not comfortable thrusting this responsibility on to a stranger in an environment wherein, he has to adapt to twenty other unique personalities and conform to a regimented structure of activities. What can be more baffling? At this age when he is only just becoming his own person, why should I inflict more unfamiliarity on him? And what can be more better or important than lessons learnt from home through his own mother/father/siblings. I mean really, do I want to send him to school so that he learns to say hello to strangers, so that he learns to sit nicely in a corner and eat his lunch, so that he can learn how to use scissors??? Or know that a fire engine is red in colour or that he must name his body parts by a certain age? Who decides these milestones? Is it not enough that an average baby will anyway learn all this as time goes by. I am the kind of mother who does not fuss much especialy about reaching milestones. Everybody picks up. They all catch up and the one's who dont, there are doctors and therapists to handle those challenges. But what I do care about is his emotional and spiritual charactor. It matters a great deal to me that my child becomes a good human who loves his Creator, no matter what. That is something we as his parents are not willing to compromise on.

One of the major reasons we are hesitant to send him to any kind of school yet, is knowing the fact that he is under critical training before he can be let loose in the world, on his own, for a few hours. He reamins close to me throughout the day but he is constantly learning and absorbing like a sponge. Sure it gets tiring for mommy, but they never said mothering was going to be a cakewalk. It is exhausting precisely because it is supremely important too. Bringing up your child your way, is your responsibility. Period. The teachers and care givers, grandparents and relatives, neighbours and friends are good to have around but parenting is my job. If I am able to trust anybody else to do it for me and not only that, I pay them for it, it doesn't make me think much of myself am afraid! The sense of security and a combination of learning, discipline and application of skills learnt at home is any day superior to a school. Yes my dear readers who might disagree, I do genuinely think so. Even if I was not a qualified teacher, I would still think that I am the best teacher for my child. Ofcourse, if the husband paid me for it, I would be a happy bunny and out in shot, shopping, but jokes apart, nothing compares to mommy being the teacher at home. As it is, I also happen to feel that for many, many women going to work and leaving their children behind is just a means of shirking off their responsibilities as a parent. It is as simple as that. I do not and will not accept any of the usual reasons working mothers give for leaving their kids at home. They 'think' they deserve the down time, well, I dont think so sister! You spawned them, you look after them. And so, dont stretch it by sending them off to school when clearly they are not ready. Have some compassion.

Do parents consider need for socialisation as one of the reasons for sending their kids to school? Sure they do. Homeschooling families get a lot of flak from families who dont . Let me tell you then, research has already established that children infact, dont need a classroom full of peers to grow, learn or even to enjoy friendships. It seems, no more than two or three children of the same age group is enough to develop their social skills. Add to the general chaos of having too much too soon, I dont want my child to develop a competitive spirit. It is not an acceptable quality either to me or my husband. It is enough for us to know that he tries his best. That is definitely enough. Some of those typical, high achieveing friends of ours, have asked us whats wrong in being out there competing with the rest? Everything, I say! On every level if you will. Lets not even begin. Else I might just explode!

Then a cousin of my husband's says to us, send Yohaan to school so he develops immunity and wont fall sick often. His system will get used to the germs floating around. Thank you very much but really, my child is not a guinea pig, do you mind. Further he says your son will become independant. Allow me a few moments of utter and great pride dear brother-in law and readers alike. (Readers, brag alert ahead) My son who is not yet three- eats by himself and loves his food, goes to the toilet by himself, does not wet the bed at night, loves to talk and listen to music and dance and read, he can wear all his clothes on his own, he enjoys playing with his imaginary friends when the actual friends are not around, he has a fabulous vocab, he loves to read whatever he can manage (aww my baby), he can climb high chairs, jump from heights, he can express himself if he is in pain, he has clear and precise interests and dislikes, he is outgoing, he looks you in the eye when making conversations, he can count some, scribble some, recite some poems albeit in his baby language, he knows his colours, he loves animals and gardening, he loves to swim, he loves to help around the house, has zero interest in watching that wretched TV or playing with his father's fancy gadgets and so relies on his own imagination to keep himself entertained, follows an easy going but familiar routine and above all knows the enitity of God the father and His Son Jesus. See? Your usual baby out there, going about achieving all the required milestones and then some! No pressure, no seperation anxiety, no distress at the unfamiliar. Why would I want to throw in some nasty germs and competition with the peers in to the scene now? Tell me one good reason. As for gaining independance, I am not sure I want him to be completely independant of us, his parents, at such a young age. He seems to be enjoying the security we provide by constantly being available. There's no rush to register for that college dorm just yet anyway.

I must again point out that I am not anti-establishment. Schools and colleges have their use ofcourse, but as a parent I will decide how much of an influence I am allowing on my child from these external sources. I am very uncomfortable doing something just because everyone else is swearing by it. No offence meant to nursery teachers (remember I was one), but really I know that they have 20 other kids to handle and all in the same way. There is mostly no scope of indivisualising methods of teaching and nursery care. In large groups, systems have to be tailored and regimented suiting the establishment, not the child. That is not the kind of 'forced' care I want to subject my precious child to. What about you other parents out there? Would you be willing to send your child to pre-nursery so he/she can learn how to make sandwhiches or use stickers or wear a red dress because the teacher declared it a red day in class? What is it that they can learn better which you cannot provide at home? Tell me because I am curious. No, I really am. What makes a parent take such a radical step as to send their child to school before the conventional ages of five or six? And how do you decide when is the right age anyway? For starters, I think mothers first need to stay home! Stay home and know your child. Dont base your decisions on feedback receieved from the nanny or grandma! Stay home and do it your way, you child deserves that much to begin with no? Nothing else can/should be more important. Nothing. Ever.

All That I Ever Wanted To Be

2011-10-12T00:47:00.000-07:00

For the longest , longest time I remember, all that I ever wanted was to be a wife and mommy and play house. Yes, there I've said it now. It was a passionate, strong , living dream of mine. As a little girl I loved playing with dolls, imaginary cooking sessions, mothering my baby cousins and the grown ups around me would comment 'oh, she is such a mummy!' I even remember being very pleased to hear that! Then you know, being Indian means you have to get married and have children before the right age, that 'right age' differs from community to community but a general trend in my clan is getting it all done before 30. That is infact quite late by most Indian standards. So as I started approaching twenty-five, my parents, ah bless them, dutifuly began making noises. 'Havent you got a boyfriend? What kind of guy do you want? Do you want us to start a search?' I can imagine many of you cringing, which is okay. As I keep repeating, I am Indian and in India we do still have arranged marriages you know! If one has'nt conjured up a boy/girl friend or if one has'nt been noticed and basicaly nothing exciting is happening in one's life, parents step in a do the needful. Very convenient I must say.

Suffice it to say, my life wasnt 'happening' enough and so one sunday morning my mother asks me, 'well, you know, shall we then?' 'What mother?' 'You know, you are soon going to be twenty five, maybe we should get you married?' "Why mother, how nice of you to notice!'. Except for the small, teeny-tiny problem of 'arranged marriages' not working out in our clan for some reason! As it is there are hardly any uncles, aunts or cousins of mine who have had an arranged marriage and the ones who failed at producing a suitable boy/girl were 'fixed' by their parents and lived to regret the choice. So, arranged marriages dont work for my family. It's just one of those family curses or something. Anyhow, me being me, happliy agreed. To marry that is. But informed her that I would find my own man. And I did! Non Indian and particularly western readers may find all this weird. I suppose it is, if you are an outsider looking from the outside ring view....but for many of us young Indian men and women marriage is a serious business and most of us, if not all, comply with societal norms of getting married 'on time'. I was no different and while I was not desperate to start living my domestic dream, I knew in my heart that I was ready to be married from like the age of 10 months maybe....who know huh?!

Many women who have a similar profile like mine express great amazement when I open up about living my dream. With increasing options vis a vis higher education, career choices, access to world travel and technology nowadays, no doubt more and more young Indians are pushing marriages and motherhood to the backburner. That is alright I suppose. I mean our parents' generation did not have these choices, so it is natural that changes will take place, it is inevitable. Which is why some of my mommy friends who have chosen to work too, express shock that I 'seem' to have such old fashioned views. How can anyone simply dream of being a wife and a mother. Is that it they ask? How? Why? Honestly, I have never felt concious of speaking about my dreams. I have never felt the need to sound right and say that I will also try and take a shot at being a career woman and a home maker and balacing it all. I always knew my inner most desire and whats more I went about planning and attaining my goal just like any 'other' career minded person would. While you may have gone to college to train in a career outside home, I studied so I would be better informed and able to teach my future children. I travelled to become more aware, I read books to hone my intelligence and pick up skills, I watched other seasoned home makers and learnt housekeeping and mothering from them, I watched happy couples and tried to file it all away for a future need. I learnt from their mistakes too, one of them being 'dont say no to sex!' :) Jokes apart, I did take preparing my self for marriage and motherhood rather seriously. In my mind, if I was to live my dream successfuly, I had better be prepared. Lifestyles today face unprecedented stress and strain, so I chose to be fuly equipped. When the right time comes, you can make the transition as smoothly as possible.

I dont know whether by working outside, I would be making great changes in the world. The kind of person I am, I have my doubts really. I did work steadily before getting married and untill I was pregnant with my son. In my mind it was just a phase of getting to meet lots of people people and making some money, thats about it. I performed well because it was the right thing to do. But those jobs that I picked up were not going to take me anywhere and were certainly not my priority. They would never take the place of the stuff that were supremely precious to my soul. That is, having a partner, a house to look after and a child to bring up. Yes ofcourse I was biding my time untill I met the love of my life and asked him to marry me and proceed to give me a baby- major strategy at play here, dear readers! Hello there hubster, you were very obliging I must add! Ha ha ha. It worked out quite well isnt it? The sense of contentment and fulfillment I now have is the same as any other 34 year old (darn, you guys know old I am now!) working woman. She would probably be a manager by now, heading her own team, steadily climbing up the career ladder and making pots of money too! On an average I assume. Well, it is the same with me. What would you expect from a 34 year old home maker and a mommy? I must say I have come a long way indeed! From pure panic at the prospect of hosting a couple of friends or cooking a fancy meal for hubster's boss, from not knowing how to revive a dying inddor plant, from not knowing how to plan and execute a week's worth of menu, from not knowing anything about brith control, from not willing to submit to my husband and caring for him, from not knowing how to shop for fresh meat and vegetables and oh, so many things I have come a long, long way baby!

Even if I say so myself, I do run a good house. And am currently guilt-free as far as mothering is concerned. Being a good wife is fodder for another post altogether though. *sigh* I am now a fairly seasoned home-manager! I dont panic, I am organised, I plan and I execute effortlessly. My house is open to all. My pantry is well stocked, fresh food always available. The beds have clean sheets-always. The toliets are shining. Things are (mostly) in their place. I have a budget and a menu plan. I manage to be awake before the boys and ensure they are looked after. (Hubster's ALL socks are always missing though...loosing battle that one now). My child is secure and happy knowing mommy is always around. He gets the very best of me and not some care taker, and that is perhaps the best deal in this whole drama. I can and have hosted 50 guests easily with not an ounce of panic, I am available to anybody who is needy around me. A new mother needs a meal? No problem. An elderly church member needs a pick up for church? No problem, even though I dont have a car, will organise a car lift anyway. A young single girl friend needs help shopping for her upcoming wedding followed by hand holding and counselling? No problem. She also needs advise on sex and birth control before she gets married? No problem. A young brother in law needs advise on handling a crush? No problem. He also wants his laundry done during the weekend because he is a bachelor and not very well equipped to handle it in his own pad? No problem dude! Come on right over. Husband's colleague at work gets married and visits with his new wife , reqeusts me to share recipes and tips on settling down in Dubai- with pleasure! A hindu friend drops in for a meal during Navratri and wont eat meat, will cook a fantastic hindu-veg meal babe. ( I know you will read this and smile!) A visitor from India first time in Dubai? Will take you around and cook and launder for you and entertain you too! A reader of my blog , perhaps very lonely will email and expect a few words back- certainly no problem! Blogging regularly after so much happening in life- maybe a little problem, lolll.

As you can see my dear readers, I have enough and more happening in life. I am not busy without a purpose here. I am trying to live intentionaly. Without expectations. My Father in heaven sees all this and I hope he is similing. Look at her! She's a little-big momma alright! And am lovin it .

Disclaimer: I sound so full of myself but let me assure you, I am no domestic godess, yet!

How Exciting....

2011-10-10T23:10:00.000-07:00

Patricia has posted today featuring a house tour of none other than your's truly! To view the pictures go here.

Thanks Patty. I am so excited and honoured.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Pickle.

2011-10-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, I surveyed and found 183747 kilos of fresh lemon and green chillies in the fridge. I could not think of a regular recipe requiring so much of both. So, this is what I did. Made the most amazing lime and green chilly pickle. Let the pictures speak. :) Gimme a shout should you want the recipe.

See what I mean? Too many of 'em!

Love the colours!

Assembling in to a jar.

Salt and suggah!

A final dash of lemon and....

We are done. Out in the harsh sun just for four days and this is good to eat!

What have you guys been up tp then? Am linking this to Patricia's The Weekly Story ~ wk 52

A Servant Girl

2011-10-06T06:32:00.000-07:00

Most of you would have figured out that I am from India. North India to be precise but that is not important. I am a stay home mom and am quite comfortable with this choice. Lately, I have had a chance to meet some other mothers who stay home (mostly Indian, or Asian) in my appartment complex. Different backgrounds, different sub-ethnicities, some with a single child and some with more than two at home. What binds us is ofcourse our motherhood and the fact that we all are at home with these kids. However, just mothering is not all of it. We also have homes to look after and meals to cook. Many of us have decided not to employ any domestic help. These helpers are commonly referred to as 'maids' in this part of the world. I personaly dont attach too much importance to semantics really. It is a generic name. As far as I am concerned, I would like to be a kind and a fair employer ensuring that in my dealings with them, they get to witness some light of Christ. Currently though, I dont have anybody working for me.

Two days ago, my next door neighbour and two other ladies from another complex met me down at the park. This neighbour has a Bangladeshi woman working part time for her, the rest of us manage on our own. There really is no glory in it. Just that we are home makers and do the job of making home! Just because we dont have a maid to help us and we do everything ourselves does not make us superior. I really dont think so. It is a choice end of the day. Some of us may be happy doing everything ourselves and some may not. After all, there could be a hundred reasons why a family chooses not to hire help. A lot of Indian women tend to read a lot in to this I'm afraid. So anyhow, we were all chatting away when suddenly I realised it was getting late and I had to be back to prepare dinner and fold laundry. My last chores of the day. And so I decided to make a move. Immediately my neighbour says to me, 'Why do you have such a maid mentality, why dont you value yourself more?'. To say I was astounded would be putting it mildly. I did not react then but it triggered a thought pattern in my head. I managed a goodbye, took my son and came back home.

Non Indian readers must understand this unfortunate cultural/social phenomenon in our society. That we do not have a concept of dignity of labour. Class and social barriers are deeply rooted and so the 'maids' there certianly do not enjoy a respectable status in society. I dont know about other countries but thats how it is in India. They come from the poorest of the poor slums, are illiterate and because they cannot find work say in a 'offoce-school' kind of establishment they choose to become maids. Often they are married off at a young age, have children just as early and are forced to move out to fend for the whole family. I think I can safely genralise that most of them suffer from extreme hardships brought about by poverty, illetracy and poor health and nutrition.When my neighbour asked me that question I know for a fact she wasn't referring to my 'class'- just to the way I seem to be working hard in my house- maid like if you will. But then she was also very condescending in her tone. And that bothered me. What is it about being a maid that is wrong? No really, if I am working in the house the fact remains that it is indeed 'my' house.

I dont understand why is it a problem if I want to do everything myself? I cook, clean, dust, mop, water the plants, make beds, clean toliets, do laundry and everything else that is required to run a house smoothly. The way I want it. At my pace. With a flexibility that suits me. If there is any urgency and endlessness attached to it, so what? I have never, ever judged a woman just because she has hired someone to help her in the house so she can have time to do her thing. Never. I know so many women who run their homes fully relying on an army of maids. Their homes sparkle, the meals are fabulous, the toilets always shining, the plants thriving, not a speck of dust anywhere, you get the picture. I however will not even dream of turning around and asking them, 'Err, excuse me, but what is it precisely that you do in your house everyday?' or ' And you are preening about your fabulously run house because you work your butt off or your ten maids do...?' That would be harsh and terribly judgemental is it not? Especialy because i have been on both sides. I grew up with an army of house help. My mother has always worked and owns her own school. No way she could have stayed home to do even a fraction of chores one is required to keep it running well. She also has high home making standards however. So, I like what she has done since she set up her home. She always chose not to spend money on clothes, jewlery, eating out etc. In those days ( about 25-30 years ago) there wasn't much she could do anyway living in a small Indian town. Instead, she spent on her personal physical comfort and peace of mind. She may not have had the best sarees in her wardrobe, but she had her own personal maid to attend to her. For her, that was money well spent and frankly she deserved the rest and peace these helpers provided after she worked so hard all day. I know some relatives kind of disapproved of this lifestyle but like I said, my mother had her priorities set and did not mind paying for it . My father never seemed to mind this arrangement and so that is how things have been since forever! After I got married and set up my home, I have had maids off and on to help me. I took them on when I needed them the most like when I had a baby through a c-section and my bedroom was on the first floor. Or earlier, when I was working full time. I needed help and I got it. Nothing to it.

We must realise that there are often two sides to any given situation. When my neighbour who also by the way professes to be a Christian, asked me such a question I was struck by the thought that how easy it is to judge or worse look down upon somebody. Just as there is no big deal in keeping a house with the help of a maid, similarly,there is no glory to doing it all on our own. You can either enjoy it or tackle it in a very matter of fact way and just do it anyway. It is a calling for some, like me. I dont find it mundane, I dont crave change, I like my rythmn and routine, I get satisfaction out of cleaning the toliets as per my standards of hygene, I am excited in the kitchen when I try a new recipe. No, it is not always fun. It can get exhausting,it does get lonely alone at home, sometimes it seems thankless too. Some days I dont complete any chore, some days are super productive and smooth. Each woman does what needs to be done, just as I do. Sometimes, we do it all by ourself, sometimes we get help. What is there to judge, yeah?

For me personaly, it started becoming a matter of living out my faith. As I struggle to grow in my christian walk, I am trying to incorporate it in every aspect of my life including in practical terms. I blogged about it earlier too. Some months ago, I reached a stage wherein I got convicted that I was just not a very productive home maker. As a wife and mommy, it will always be a work in progress but I was not being intentional about my home making. Which is when I decided to make changes. I learnt to be still and be intentional in everything I do around the house. And to learn to be joyful. If this is my house, then I better be happy looking after it. Many do not enjoy this privilege. I am blessed to be able to stay home. I am not proud, but am so contented that I cook for my boys the things they love. I clean for them and ofcourse for myself. I am happy knowing that my plants probably laugh behind my back because I talk to them when I water them. I dont mind serving my husband when every night without fail, he forgets to get himself a glass of water for his bedside and will ask me to do it, and to fetch his phone too while I am at it. Or early morning he will ask me to organise his towel and socks etc even though it will be lying right there in front of his eyes!

There are rituals and rotuines every family forms. Of different kinds. And if mommy or daddy (even) is the one serving the rest, so what? It is a wonderful way of demonstrating to our children the value in being 'of a servant heart'. It teaches them humility and hard work. My son watches me look after the house, him and his father. It will be my hope that one day, while he wont compare his wife to me, he would have learnt from his father the ways of appreciating his wife! My neighbour was rude no doubt, but in calling me practicaly a maid , she unwittingly complimented me! Christ Himself commanded us to 'serve one another in love'. Also, on a somewhat similar note, I dont think I am sacrificing anything here. How can my role be called sacrificial? I am doing it for 'me and mine'. Thats hardly a sacrifice now is it? I am doing it because I love my house. I like to keep it pretty. I love my family, I look after their over all well being. The end result is 'ME' being happy and contented. I wish I could have made her understand that in God's eyes the lowliest of the lowlies is the apple of His eyes. His preferred one. I wish I could tell her that there is nothing wrong in being a 'maid' - of anyone! I AM the servant girl around here and proud to be one!

My Major Blog Crush

2011-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

...and I do mean serious , seriouser, seriousest of the kind! I dont know why did I not share with you all before, but better late than never as they say. I absolutely love this home decor blog which focuses on only the colour Turquoise! Want to know more? Then head over here. I can promise hours and hours of eye candy. Enjoy!

My Tiny Oasis

2011-09-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

Most weekends I have some project going on in my house. I like to potter around. Change things up. I have this urge almost every weekend. During the week my time and energies are consumed with housekeeping. I am so anal about most things. The way dinner is cooked, the way it is served. The way the beds are made every morning. Nutrition for my child who wont put on any weight despite my best efforts. The way the towels are hung in the bathrooms. The way the microwave has to be cleaned and not to mention my other babies- my plants! I love them. I love having greenery around and those of us who live in this desert land's high rise appartments know how difficult it can get to avoid feeling numb with the crazy concrete jungle all around.

I have a fairly big balcony, but poorly designed and executed. I dont know why did the architects think that a 'really long but very narrow' balcony is a good idea! I mean, mine can be termed 'big' but it is practicaly rendered useless due to it shape. Long and narrow like I said. :( But anyhow, knowing me, hubster has indulged me and bought me some plants and greens. I had some cute ideas but had to make a choice between being able to sit out in the balcony for 'chai sessions' or having a bit of greenery there. Since I am vain, I chose the option of simply planting some greenery for my visual pleasure. I now, sit on my dining table which opens in to the balcony and have my chai in the air conditioned comfort. Here are some pictures of my before and after changes carried out this weekend. Much grunting, sweating, cursing the Dubai weather later, I present to you my garden corner ladies and gentlemen, (if any). And because it is Patricia's The Weekly Story-episode 50, I decided to jump in and participate too. It is the 50th after all how can I not join in at all !

Looksie now.

This is how my baby garden started....I went away to India and hubster ofcourse destroyed my flowering shrubs. I had to make changes to incorporate just the green stuff left....else I would have nothing to show, you know!

I used old wine bottles, discarded water coolers and broekn artifacts from my living room to add some interesting elements.

Then slowly changes were made. Watch!

I had been collecting little pebbles and rocks from sometime. And dying to use them here, finally got the husband to lug them from the car boot which is where I was storing them!

Look at my little Birdie and Mr Froggy! Adopted them from the Dubai-Garden Centre.

The other corner. All the clay pots are a result of ordering take away Biryanis! And the blue carton you see, that is how mushrooms are sold here, in those little tubs. Just drilled some holes and voilla I have a pretty container. I am collecting some more so I can add lots of blues to the greens.

A day light shot taken very early morning when I was out watering them babies.

A night view of the Dubai sky line beyond the balcony railing. I added some knick-knacks here for my smoker friends to have something talk about while they have their smoke here. Ha ha ha.

So thats it then. I have had a lot of fun making these changes. Got more and more and more plans going on in my head. But time and budget constraints will have to be taken in to consideration. I am going to be away for whole of December and dont know if hubster can handle more plant-care duties. I am dying to add so much more to my motley collection but for now we have to wait. Hope you guys enjoyed seeing my little oasis. Right here in the desert!

Edited to add: I missed the linky party to Patty's weekly roundup on her blog. So shall link up on Monday for the 51st round. Am leaving the link up here, so if any of you want to come back , you can.

And what do you think of this??

2011-09-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

Hello hello. I have been cleaning, organizing, re-decorating and adding colours to my house....the sneak peek follows below:

There are some crazy colours in my house now. No holds barred. Love them. Totally. This is the entrance to my appartment as you step in.

More pics to follow soon. Stick around now. :)

Some Shelf Love

2011-08-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

By now all my readers must have got used to me missing-often-in-action! The thing is I mostly have nothing interesting to share. Not even pictures even though there are so many in the camera waiting to be transferred. I am the original lazy bum and we dont want to ruin that image now. I cannot say if I can keep bloggin on a regular basis because well, I dont want to waste your time, and we are kind like that. Thank you,.

Now but, I would like to share some pictures. Patricia(based here in Dubai) of the very colourful and inspiring blog organises these lovely linky parties. I have been meaning to join them since ages but I always seem to miss the deadlines. *heavy sighing* But this time around I managed to do something about it. Cleaned, dusted, placed some of my favourite bits and pieces and took pictures (that is important you know) and am finally linking up to her show and tell 'Shelf Stories'.

I live in a chicken coop for a house. Less than a thousand foot sqaure, space is a premium. Add to the woes of teeny-tiny space, a complete lack of storage . We have nothing, and I mean nothing. So this open rack/shelf has to be practical and pretty both. See for yourselves. Many of the pieces dispalyed here are from the Dubai Flea Market where I have spent many a blissful saturdays. I love flea markets. Dubai doesn't seem to have much of a flea market culture (I think because everybody is super wealthy??) and I hardly ever see any Indians there. Which is sad really. But I digress. Now then, on to some pictures. Hope you like 'em.

This is in one corner of my living room. Me and hubby are voracious readers, so you see books books all over. I also love plants and a combination of both is my favourite way to decorate!

A close up of the top tier. That big bowl is from our holiday in Turkey.

The second shelf houses my meagre silver collection. The tea set is a part of my wedding gift. And is antique.

The bottom two shelves. The ceramic orange pot is from a roadside in New Delhi and the wooden/silver pipe is a flea market find. Pretty isn't it?

And the whole of it! The cushions in the background have been stitched by me btw. Why yes, thank you.

And my wooden hanging shelf. You will find it in every home which loves to shop at FabIndia, which is where we picked it from when we bought our first house here in Dubai. Since we were broke buying that house, we couldn't have bought anything more expensive. I do love it though. The little miniature pottery pieces you see here are from all over. Japan, Turkey, Yemen China and ofcourse the flea market.

A close up of the same shelf.
Can you guess I have a thing for collecting cute little tea pots? Well, I do.

And that my love is the End. It took me a good one hour to get this up and I am wondering how will I find time to do this on a regular basis. We shall see. Thankfuly, Patty is way more inspired and hardworking than me.

Lazy Friday

2011-05-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

In UAE, our weekend is Friday/Saturday and Sunday is the first working day of the week. I have for the last five years lived out crazy-busy weekends here. Before we became parents, we used to go out all the time but weekends were especially hectic. Infact, I think they were more tiring than the weekdays even though we worked at full time jobs. Things have slowed down a bit- only a bit, mind you. Today has been one such day. A rare friday when we have stayed home the whole day, cooked and eaten at home and are expecting nobody for dinner. My weekends are rather crazy otherwise. Packed with outings, errands and socialising/hosting friends. It is amlost as if it is taboo to have a quiet realxed time on fri/sat! Honestly! For a long time I remember, I would feel depressed if no plans had been made by wednesday. It was a compulsion to be out and about. Sounds mad no?

Last night as I finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, I made mysef stop and think hard. And I realised that I badly needed to just be 'STILL'. I am constantly on the move if not physicaly then mentaly. I actually stood still near the kitchen sink, looked out of the window, deep in thought and decided that we will stay home on friday. The original plan was to attend church (which takes half a day-almost) and then drive down to Fujairah to meet friends for lunch/dinner. But guess what, I just couldn't face a long day out with a pesky kid and sleep deprivation. I function on six hours of sleep, a bad back which play up only during night and a full day of chores. So I informed hubster that I would like to relax and rewind at home. No malls, no errands, no meeting anybody for a meal, no going for some show or exhibition and figured I would more than survive the seemingly 'boring' day at home instead. In Dubai, everybody loves to hang out at a mall. I may be over-generalising a bit but bear with me. Over the last few months, I have become so disenchanted with malls. They are tiring and mindless. People think that because it is so hot and humid here they have nothing to do except hang around a mall. No doubt the malls are cool, clean and serious eye candy but there's only so much hanging around a mall you can do, right?

Anyway, I speak for myself. We have been making a serious and a concious effort to keep Yohaan away from big huge malls and are doing rather well. We have made an effort to take him to the beach, the different city parks, Abra rides, The Spice Souq, Zoo and Aquariums and the times when we dont go out, I ensure he plays in the appartment complex's beautifuly landscaped lawns and several sand pits and play areas built especially for kids living here. I just let him be. He is so happy when he he is down there, getting dirty and meeting lots of other children from so many nationalities! That is priceless. Children from Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Syria, SriLanka, Pakistan, Phillipines, Indonesia, Azerbaijan, England, Germany, Russia, USA, Canada, Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Nepal., Malaysia, Singapore, China...and these are just some of the nationalities in our complex. Brilliant no? Thats Dubai for you guys!

With so much already on our plate, therefore, I really do need to calm down. It has been a long, lazy day. I just lounged around in a plain old tattered T-shirt and shorts and asked the boys to look after themselves. While I pottered around the house. Brought out some knick-knacks which were stored away and had to be showcased, did up the guest bathroom with some old bottles and candles. Organised our clothes. Cleaned the balcony and repotted a few older plants which were begging for some TLC, folded tons of laundry, dusted off my miniature chinese pottery collection, sorted my craft basket and even decoupaged an old coffee bottle . I am tired but happy to have accomplished so much at my own pace. There was no mad rush to get anywhere, no seeking of excitement and thrill outside of home. All three of us just did our own thing. I suspect hubster watched 2-3 movies back to back and Yohaan has played with water the whole day in varying ways which only a toddler can manage, just dont even ask!

Okay now, confession time. Tomorow, I have a trip to Dubai Flea Market planned with a girlfriend and yes, we will go sans kids. This will be the first time I will leave him alone with his dad at home. I am a bit torn that he is growing up so fast and seems to be okay hanging out with dad. Anyhow, I think I am born to have extra-busy weekends. Which makes the point of this post rather pointless. Hmmm.

There is only so much one can do!

2011-05-04T03:18:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows I love to cook. If I am not cooking I can be surely found cleaning my kitchen or simply pottering around there. It is by far my favourite hangout in the whole house. Did I ever mention that I love to also do dishes by hand. Yes sir, I dont have a dishwasher in this new rented flat having sold off our dishwasher to our tenant. Back in the older villa, I hardly ever chose to use it anyway because I find washing dishes by hand very calming. You give me any amount of dishes to be cleaned and I am a happy bunny! At every informal party with friends or family here, I am always the first to offer to clean up once the meal is over. Infact, I get restless to do the dishes much to the host's embarassment! Must tell you all about this one time when my neighbour invited me to do her dishes after a party she had organised and was left with a big pile of washing up. She knew about my obsession so she took up my offer to help. Well, I was in dish-washing-heaven! I loved it. In turn she made lunch for Yohaan and me. Yes, yes we are weird like that. Werid neighbours included...

Anyway, I digress. The other day MSIN called me for a chat. I informed her with fair amount of pride that I had prepared roast Lamb Shanks for our dinner. The first time ever. It was fun and tasted Yumm eve though I say so myself. With some green vegetables and bread it was all good. But unfortunately, the hubster of mine totally freaked for some reason. He found the 'largish' size of the shanks a turn off and he refused dinner!!! How crazy is that now??? How can the size of a meal turn someone off? What about the presentation? The taste? The effort put in? I was pretty crushed actually considering he is a hard core carnivore....I thought he can eat anything dead and cooked...But see, thats the thing with hubster. He hates change. I have been given strict instructions not to experiment in the kitchen which I find rather frustrating. It's like having to curb y creative instincts in one area I know I am good in. Over the years, he has refused many a meals because he deemed them too different from the usual! Arghhh!

So then, dinner that day was a fiasco with neither of us touching the darned shanks! Yohaan included. Hmpppph. The boys were hungry though and I quickly came up with this awesome chicken salad. I have no name for it although the stuff that goes in to it ?The usual suspects. Mayo, mustard, cooked diced chicken cubes etc. I am sure some reader from the western hemishphere will find it familiar. For us south Asians, or atleast for my family, this is a novelty since we dont eat salad by itself as a meal! Salad is strictly on the sides to accompany the main course. And often just as spicy! So without further ado, let me recap this super quick, easy-peasy creamy chicken salad for those times when your partner is being a spoilt brat!

1 cup of diced apple. I used Granny Smith ones because that is what I had on hand.
1 cup of roasted walnuts or mixed nuts. I had lots of raisins in it too. Roast the nuts.
1 cup of mixed fresh grapes. I halved them all. And included the juice that ran.
1 cup of salad leaves - lettuce. I used ice-berg.
1/2 cup of diced celery.
1 cup of peeled and seperated Pomegranate seeds. It gave a lovely red colour and the juice was ever so sweet.
2.5 cups of cooked/boiled (in salted water) chicken - diced.

Mix all of the above in a large salad bowl except the raosted nuts. Now make a dressing by mixing 1 cup of regular mayo, although I had only garlic falvoured mayo in my fridge- which is fine too, 1/4 cup of honey and 1/4 cup of mustard sauce. Salt and pepper according to taste but not too much. Pour this over the assembled salad greens. Mix well. Top it off with the roasted nuts. Serve with any bread of your choice. I served it with Khaboos- Arab local bread. And Iced tea. Doesn't it sound easy to put together. Unless ofcourse you dont stock cooked chicken bits for times such as these in which case you will have to prepare the chicken first. I usually cook and keep chicken along with bones and stock too, mostly for Yohaan' meals. It is wholesome and nutritous. Do play around with the greens you want to use and some of you may want to drop the nuts due to allergies. Feel free. I just threw in whatever I found in my fridge. And yes, the hubster and brat both ate it and liked it but hubster was back to his old ways. He said to me, 'It is really nice, but next time and at all times, please stick to Indian'. Clearly, there's no pleasing a certain someone around here!

Growing Through Motherhood

2011-05-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

Growing Through Motherhood

Came across this beautiful post on one of my favourite blogs. Just when I had screamed at Yohaan for the n'th time! Enjoy and be blessed!

To Be Home and Happy

2011-04-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

It has taken me five years of marriage and half of that being a mother that my calling to be a home maker and a mother is not to be taken for granted and is infact a serious thing. I have written about being lonely earlier. But as time has gone by, I am suddenly struck by a realisation that I am actually lonely no more. You see, if I was/am doing my job at home properly I would hardly get time to breathe or chew or wear my coordinated churidaars (Indian pants worn with a long tunic) and trust me that wont make for a sexy sight!

No, I am not talking about filling my schedule with mindless chores the entire time but even so I'd say, if I was/am putting in my best efforts in my everyday homemaking/parenting routine I wont have time or the energy to be 1.discontented and 2. resentful 3. lonely. I entered wedlock with the best of intentions ofcourse. Everyone does am sure. I had visions of being the ever loving and understanding wife. My recipe journal was full of lovely south Indian stuff to be cooked for hubster. I looked forward to being his companion in the true sense. But a few months in to it and boy! I was in for a shock. I would like to clarify that my husband is extremely non-demanding. But anyhow, many things didnt go the way I had envisioned married life to be. I mean, why but why do you have to drink coffee when I make better chai-latte? And why must you insist on eating rice for all meals when I am a chapati girl? And why must you watch the news after work when clearly you can use that time to sit with me, hold my hands and look deep in to my eyes and tell me that I cook better than your mother? (Err, I am obsessed with food I think)

None of those things happened and if I were to get real it never does! It's not like I was a terribly young and a naive bride. I got hitched at the grand old age of 28! But as they say, some folks dont wanna grow up...looks like I didn't either! Over the years being married (mainly), I developed a deep sense of self-entitlement. My needs. My wants. My shopping. My outings. My friends. My lonliness. My comforts and convenience. What about me?? I had no clue that marriage by it's very nature is self sacrificial and involves loads of dying to one self. And mothering takes the cake. Although whatever I do now for my son does not feel like a sacrifice to me at least. But it is no doubt tiring and exhausting and that can be eroding physicaly if nothing else. I am diabetic and overweight. I do workout but for the longest time I never did, thus running low on energy fuel all the time leading to much impatience with life in general. It was only after I started doing something about my heath and weight loss that I realised how much I was missing in life by being sickly all the time. So yes, in a way it all started with me. If mommy ain't happy- nobody is happy. But my sense of self went much deeper and at alarming depths. And that was making me a deeply lonley and an unhappy person. It didnt seem like hubster understood much of that. As far as he is concerned, I am married to the love of my life so what's all this nonny about being lonely and restless?

About six to seven months ago, I started praying really hard for some kind of perspective on my emotional state. And slowly as days went by, the layers started peeling off. I found that my entire being and identity is connected to God and my walk with him. So while I was running restless the answer was to be still in the Lord. Just as gradually it started dawning on me that I am nowhere near fullfilling the purpose God has assigned to my life. My home and my family was to be my calling and my purpose. Everything else comes after. If my laundry for the day is not done then I really dont need to sit down with a long and a needless phone call. If dinner is not ready on time then I have no business going out for a coffee. If any of my chores for the day is not done properly and on time, then in essence I am guilty of neglecting my calling to be a wife and amother of real virtue. It is not about performance you see. The kind of person I am, I need to have order and beauty and structure to thrive on a daily basis. I think it is wonderful that God has ordained that I work this out for myself and not be at the mercy of an external agnecy to provide that stability and structure. It is so apt that I dont work outside. I would go mad because I draw great encouragement and satisfaction from a job well done. If i were hold a job, I wouldn't be doing justice to it or to my house and family. And God knew that even before I was conceieved (Psalm 139)! And that to me is very humbling. To know that each one of us are perfectly made and given assignments according to our inherent nature and personalities. So some women thrive on a profesional challenge some women like me, totally dig being home makers.

When this realisation dawned upon me that I am the CEO of my home-ministry a lot of things fell in to place. My restlesness settled down and the biggest thing of all I have learnt to prioritise and say 'no'. I used to mourn about lack of meaningful friendships/girlfriends but I also realised that in this season of my life I really cannot invest outside my house in terms of time and energy. Oh yes, I do love to hang out with people. I love to party, love to dress up and go out, love shopping and everything else out there. I am an extrovert to the core but then this season is also about learning hard lessons. My marriage is still young and my son even younger. God willing, we will have more children some day. And the lessons learnt now will come in so handy in the years to come. Hopefuly I will have more emotional maturity, stability , a happy marriage, well groomed children and a loving home to show for it. In order to achieve even some of that I need to be STILL now and keep my ears and eyes open. If I am not able to call a friend for a long chat or if I am not able to attend a Bible study or a small house group study, or volunteer at church or go out for any random outing with a girlfriend or not be able to organise tons of playdates for Yohaan- so be it.

I know my own capabilities and how much can be accomplished by me. I am a really efficient and a fast worker but have a tendency to get overwhelmed when the workload is huge. It begins to bother me and I start obsessing over strategies to overcome. Which is what I have been up to these past few months...devising plans to be a happy home maker and becoming efficient and learning along the way. I hardly thought of blogging, and it has taken me around six months to breathe easy now. I think I can safely say that my house is running on well oiled wheels. Routines have been developed, tweeked and re-tweeked and sucessfuly implemented. Mornings, afternoons and evenings are in control. Has it been easy? Heck no! I am sinfuly lazy and keeping myelf motivated has been a challenge pretty often. But oh, I sleep better at night and I am a lot more fit than I have ever been. Thats a huge bonus apart from a happy family which is well cared for. Err, I am still hopeless with the family socks though....I dont know what happens to them and hubster has to keep buying more and more. Not funny ok? So if you guys ever wondered why do I keep disappearing for such long periods it is because I was busy building my nest and now with the new found ideas, rest and time are ever, ever out of reach. I am not complaining though just saying.

As if to affirm whatever stuff I was getting convicted of 'not doing' with my time, energy and talents a situation arose which seems to me totally godsend. I had a maid for a few months. Loved her. She was a young muslim lady from Bangladesh. Honest, dilligent and caring about all of us and our house. But with my new self I was getting increasingly convinced that I needed to be the 'worker' at home and not hire a paid employee to do 'my' work. I have nothing against hiring domestic help. They give us tremendous comfort and convenience no doubt, leaving us rested and free to pursue many other things on our agendas. My maid was a real sweetheart but I was finding it very difficult to terminate her services. Poverty stricken and miles away from her own husband and children she needs every dirham that she can make. I also dont think she would have understood my position. So i kept delaying asking her to leave. But then God worked in His ever so funny way! She got pregnant when her husband visited her briefly and she was too sick to work. She gave in her notice and stopped coming . I am happy for her but worried too as to how will she handle her finances now. But I was also silently thanking God for confirming it with a sign to me that my house and family has to be looked after by me - chiefly. I have decided not to hire any more help and am totally relaxed about it.

Here are some things I decided to implement in order to become more like a Titus woman i,e looking after the affairs of my home and not going around gallavanting!

1. No TV. Easy for me since I am big time anti TV anyway. I watch like 10 minutes of TV in a month maybe.

2.No ladies Bible study and No mom-toddler church meet. Once upon a time I longed to belong to such groups but am over that need for now. Maybe one day my house can be used to meet up though. Till then I shall be happy to be home.

3. Time spent on the www. A biggie for me because I love to net surf , facebook and blog hop. It had become an epic addiction. Not anymore. This also includes blogging. I have so much to share but no time to do it as often as i would like to. I did have ambitious plans for this blog but looks like it shall all have to wait....but then again if I am more organised and efficient I could sneak in a post or two, for those of you who must miss me so much. I hear you buddy, I hear you. FB takes away a lot of quality time and now except for status updates I dont stay on it for longer than 5 minutes literally! Good job eh?

4. Wake up way earlier than the rest of the members which would be hubster and Yohaan. I now wake up at 6 am everyday except saturday when I take my day off and do no cleaning or cooking. All meals are either a takeaway or we go out. I personaly love visitng IKEA for breakfast, easy on the pocket and nutritous too. And it helps that we live very close to it. Lunch on a saturday is always a seafood fest -Kerela style(love crabs and shrimps) and dinner is always something from our family favourite Pakistani joint. Here I go on about food again.

5. Getting up early gives me a great headstart and I dont find myself running around like a headless chicken the rest of the day. Once I am up, I finish my shower and get fully dressed down to my shoes even! And yes, yes ofcourse, there is makeup carefuly applied and coordinated jewelery too! I have a lovely collection of silver stuff which I love to wear on a daily basis. It' just my small strategy to beat early morning blues and lethargy. Guess what! Many ladies in my appartment complex have actually come up to me and complimented me on my efforts and some have even told me how I inspire them to take more interest in themselves. So the new rule? No more lounging around in pajama's or sweats or God forbid a tattered nightdress all through the day. Crisp cottons are laid out the previous night, hair is oiled and washed and conditioned regularly, nails are trimmed and well groomed as are the feet, shoes are comefy but stylish, sometimes colour coordinated bangles are worn too which can be a bit of a pain while doing dishes but never mind- all for a good cause after all ! :) It makes me feel ready for the day and pretty and the best thing is that my son already notices all this and will sometimes kiss me with joy if I am looking very colourful that day! How sweet is that huh?

6. Finally, every friday we do our grocery shopping. I buy my fresh produce for the whole week ahead, including meat and poultry and sea food. As you know, weekend in this part of the middle east is fri/sat. So the next morning saturday, the only work I do is wash-chop-dice-slice-marinate. I chop and dice ALL my veggies and bag them up in ziplocs ready to be used. All the meat is portioned and marinated if required,bagged and frozen. Ginger and garlic paste is ground and stored away. Tomatoes are pureed and boxed in the fridge. I never ever buy any canned goods. I buy blocks of cheese and grate them all on saturday and box it. I also make a week's worth of some Indian chutney. I rarely run out of fresh produce. Everything has it's place in the fridge and makes taking inventory also super convenient. Throughout the week, because my menu is pre-planned, all I have to do is pull out the required bags of vegetables and meat and enjoy my cooking. This takes me about two hours in total on a saturday morning and is sooo soooo sooo totally worth it. Maybe some of you can try this. Try chopping every vegetable that is well, 'chopable'. Life will rock!

I have a lot many more strategies to make life at home productive and joyful and contented. Will share ideas as we go along. For now, I must hit publish post because I have taken the whole day to write this in bits and pieces between chores. And it is late and I have tons to do tomorow because the day after we are going to India for a week to see my mother in law. As usual, yours truly is looking forward to some major shopping in India. Now, your turn to write in a share your home making ideas with me. Ok?

EGR- Extra Grace Required!

2011-03-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

Rick Warren in his bestselling book 'Purpose Driven Life' apart from talking about many wonderful things, also talks about how in life we meet certain kind of people who come under the category of 'Extra grace required'. When I read this I found it very funny and kept chuckling to myself. Oh sure, I can come up with a big huge list of such folks I thought. I mean, haven't we all constantly met people who drive us up the wall? That annoying manager, that weird neighbour, that foolish young cousin and so on? Infact, I am sure I could possibly be on someone's list too. Ouch!

No, but you know what, I am having to come over here and vent. This post is dedicated to my neighbour, lets call her X. This lady has forced me to loose it completely. As it is I have this pressure to be a good wife, a good mother, a good home maker, a good daughter, friend, lover, sister, chef, chauffer, pacifier, counsellor and what not and here she comes along and unravels it all with one thoughtless comment or an insensitive remark or some insanely selfish act. I will try and not bitch about her but lets get it clear folks, it is tough not to. So we met last year in the corridoors. While playing with our respective brats. Her's is a two year old while mine is two going on twenty but that is not the issue here. We started chatting and were happy to discover that we are both born again christians. How difficult can getting along be and what are the chances that living in an Islamic republic you have a Christian neighbour sa? Mobile numbers were exchanged. Promises to visit were made. The mandatory expat-questions asked and a playdate arranged for the very next day. So we went to her house as planned. Enter mamma and Yohaan- wait what's that smell. Smells like poo-literally! And it was all over the living room. X seemed blissfuly okay about this, so we also braved it and plonked down on the couch. Which was unbelievably filthy! Took a deep breath....calm down mamma, she is as hassled as you are with a toddler around and there is only so much one can do. Shut up and dont judge. However, tell me this readers, how can one not be upset about such obvious filth? Without judging, but really it is your house, please keep it clean and okay so the visitors are not the presidential variety still show some consideration no? I can happily let my son play with mud and sand and muck but asking him to fool around in human crap is asking for a LOT! Lets not forget that we are never offered anything to eat or drink, but that is okay because we could die of the germs found all over her house you know! And we dont want that.

And this hygene thingy has been never corrected. Her house is a landmine of germs and I have no idea how to refuse her invitations to visit. But wait there is more. I get asked all kinds of weird questions for eg: how much money does you husband give you to spend on yourself? To me that is as bad as asking me my salary which err, by the way is zilch. While I am trying to come up with a suitable answer I get this- are you happy in your marriage, do you have plenty of sex? I have no words now. Many of you would wonder why did I keep going back to her...inspite of such exemplary behaviour on her part. Well I have to be honest here then. Initially for the longest time, it was out of sheer lonliness. The need to bond with another new mother, some woman- any woman- to get some break. And the bonus of having a child who is close to Yohaan's age seemed like a blessing. So he too would have a friend. I continued it for more than six months. We have visited each other often along with our boys. Cooked for each other. Talked a lot about parenting, our faith, our lives here in Dubai and back in India. But something kept us from clicking, that feeling of 'Oh i have a good friend in her' never happened. Soon I reached a stage in our relationhip where I withdrew emotionaly but kept up the pretense for Yohaan\s sake because he really loves her little boy. But I now realise I was wrong. I wasn't being sincere in my friendship and am ashamed to admit that I haven't been real with her.

About two months ago, X started fussing about Yohaan's behaviour. Her son is essenially a loner and hates being touched. He will sometimes not want even his mother to hug him or cuddle him or kiss him. He has been spoilt and over protected to the extent that anything and everything which wont go his way will send him flying in to a tantrum. Now Yohaan is the other opposite. He is extremely social, mild mannered and very demonstrative. He is quite the touchy-feely sorts too. Till date I cannot recount a single tantrum of his. Easy going and calm by nature, like his dad I guess. Yohaan has been known to bestow kisses and huggies on random people at malls and parks. Which by the way has been deemed as dangerous behaviour by X what with so many sick people on the prowl. I cannot compare because all children are different and have their own individual personalities. But try getting such polar opposites to play peacefuly and you might want to check in to rehab! So when Yohaan wants to hug his friend he will scream and cry which makes X think Yohaan is being rough or worse, hitting her son! She will then be very stern and ask me to leave or ask me to spank Y. And this happens at every single playdate. Never mind that her son refuses to share his toys, will hit Yohaan for hugging him etc. See what I am dealing with here?

I have diagnosed that the problem is not our kids, it is us mothers. We claim to believe in the same word of God but clearly we are not on the same page here. We come from very different cultural backgrounds inspite of being Indians. We are from a different social class, economic background, we studied differently, we eat and wear differently, we are married to men who themselves are polar opposites of each other. Even though the body of Christ is above all this I am just so sad that these differences have crept between us. Satan will try his best to cause rifts. However, in all honesty I can claim that I have tried very hard to be forgiving and understanding but now I cannot go on because she has consistently proven to be toxic. From the way I keep my house, the way my husband makes money, to my mothering style, the church I go to, the clothes I wear, the make up I use, to our outings, our lifestyle-she has a strong opinion on everything and will never ever refrain from voicing it out. One remark like ''why do you fuss over your husband's meals so much'' or ''Yohaan will become gay if you let him play with your scarves and makeup'' not only astound me they hurt me to the core. I cannot believe that an educated person leave alone a Christian can speak like this! Often I have come back from her house in tears because I have been hurt and felt judged.

Apparently, she has been gossiping about me to my maid (we share one) and has called our friendship (or whatever there is left of it) a waste of time. I got to know about it this afternoon and this was the last straw. I am not wanted and it has taken me so long to realise it. I normally dont give attention to what the other wives are talking amongst themselves simply because it it mindless gossip and I have no time to sometimes breathe, leave alone socialise. All I wanted was to get out for a while and meet somebody nice and get my son to have fun with other kids. It breaks my heart to see my son, who is such a social being like his parents, be alone and not have kids to play with. Anyhow, just as I am done writing this post I think hubster and me should get busy and make a sibling for Y, a playmate if you will. What say?

And now that I have vented, please do feel free to send me lotsa love and concerned filled comments. I have finally decided to let go of X. Good from far, far from good!! Should anyone feel I can handle this differently or you have a strategy to basically feel better about this, send me a lecture. Am open to all kinds of advise. I guess I am also looking for assurance that I am doing good by saying goodbye to this so called friendship. She is my EGR person and I want to breathe again. Good, that feels better now. Breathing. (Such a drama queen)

Lot of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

2011-03-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

...or something like that! I had/have tons to share but have been preoccupied with a whole lot of stuff going on in my head (mostly), hence the title of the post. I really thought that keeping this blog updated wont be a big deal but I was clearly wrong.. It takes up a lot of time if nothing and that is one commodity I am always short of. I cannot believe that I have been away nearly four long months...anyhow, we shall see how productive I am going to be hence forth. Oh by the way, have just returned from my bi-annual vacation in India. So am still settling down. I need a holiday now to recover from this holiday. If you are a long time reader (which I doubt), you will know how difficult it is for me to visit India even for a day! Different reasons , all personal to me. Travelling with a brat on top of that simply adds to the woes. However, needs must and all that. So the grandparents and grandson were thrilled to be together while mamma was as usual miserable.

Except . For the shopping. But. Ofcourse! I am easy to please that way, just take me shopping and I am your girl. Mean but also true is the fact that I enjoy shopping only when I am the direct beneficiary or my house is. Infact, can you believe it, I get bored shopping even for my own son! Some serious gene-defect going on here...

Tomorow I shall be back with details of why's and how's (is an apostrophe needed here) I have been missing in action. Will be kind enough to let you all sneak in to that mind of mine which kept me away from my faithful (and lucky) readers. OK ? OK.

With Love and Without Prejudice Towards All

2010-11-13T22:44:00.000-08:00

We just finished Halloween, Thanksgiving, Diwali and now Eid is on in this part of the world. I think it is very 'neatly convenient' that so many important festivals fall right around the year ending and everybody can look forward to much joy and celebrations. Forget about the not so nice parts of the year and just focus on having a big partayyyy! No? Been hopping around tons of blogs and am amazed at the sheer number of posts on the festivals gone by...although, I dont do Halloween, Thanksgiving (hubster's side of the family have their own Indian version of Thanksgiving, which we dont celebrate as a couple owing to it's Hindu roots) or Diwali. I think my sister in Canada does some stuff for Halloween etc but more for the kids rather than anything else. Our family focus has always been Easter and Christmas. Good Friday even more so, knowing and believing that our Lord lives!

Most families nowadays are open minded and percieve themelves as modern, secular and peace loving.
I dont know about other 'Indian-Christian' families, but me and hubster do not feel the need to project that to anybody or indeed give much thought to it . So, no I dont really feel the need to light a few candles on Diwali no matter how pretty it looks or wish a friend who may be celebrating it. No, it does not even strike me to call up my Hindu friends and wish them. Will it bother me if they do not call me back for Christmas? No, not at all. I dont expect them to understand the significance of Christmas just as I dont consider their festival significant! Does that make me intolerant and unsecular? I dont think so, it is just not important, that is all. Had I been married to a non-Christian, maybe I would have been chilled out in my philisophy. It would have been like 'everything goes'. But since I am not, I need to be very clear and focussed on what I believe in and would like to pass on to my child. Although in our constitution, India is deemed a secular country with all religions being accorded equal respect and tolerance, in reality it really isn't true. It is overwhelmingly a Hindu state followed closely by a sizeable population which professes faith in Islam. Christians, Buddhists, Jains , Sikhs etc are all a small minority. To their credit, I personally find most of my Hindu friends and acquiantances quite liberal and easy going. A large majority is non confrontational and go about doing their own thing. As are other folks too. But even so, India can get troubled at the slightest religious differences. In such circumstances it gets difficult to cling on to your personal faith and be counter-cultural. So again a large majority of families end up doing a little bit of everything. When I was blog hopping I was amazed to see so many non-hindu families actively celebrating Diwali ! Agreed, for some it was just the lights, for some a chance to indluge in good food, for some it was all about dressing up and partying and for some it was just bursting crackers! Nothing wrong with any of these activities per se but for me it gets worrying when a friends or family begins to have expectations from me.

How so you ask? Let me explain. Come festival(s) season and some of my non-christian friends refuse to see why I do not join in the celebrations! For eg, we have this particular couple here in Dubai who are our friends. Or rather used to be. This couple has over the years expressed open displeasure and shock that we do not wish to celebrate their festivals in any form whatsoever. They claim to be modern, educated and cosmopolitan. Unfortunately however, when it comes to practise, they are really short on tolerance themselves! They have been unable to understand or appreciate our refusal to join a 'Puja'- a Hindu religious ceremony/actof worshiping. They have got upset if we have refused 'prasad' i.e food offered to idols during religious ceremonies. These things are a pretty big deal to them and to us too! Why cant it be understood that just as offering and consuming 'prasad' is important to them, it is just as serious and important for me to refuse it. By doing so, I do not conspire to insult or hurt them. It happens to be a major part of my religious convictions and I dont see why should I be made to feel like a 'fundamentalist' in wanting to hold on to it! If you do not understand why judge in the first place? I especially find my hindu friends struggling to accept this. The simple reason I feel is that Hinduism is esentially a pluralistic religion and hence it has place for every 'supernatural' power or phenomenon. Christianity, on the other hand is pretty clear that there is 'only one God' and that God actually tells us to worship no one but Him. Talk about precise instructions!

Which brings me to my next bit of the rant. So, if I tell my child not to bow in front of man-made idols and to believe in one true and living God, I am a mad parent teaching my child to be intolerant? A friend wanted to gift me something which had a picture of one of her God's on it (do you realise dear reader how sad this sounds?? My god, her god?). So anyway, I politely refused to accept it. And told her in great detail as to why I was unable to accept her gift. She was close enough so I did not think I would hurt her but I did not expect the anger either. She was really, really, really angry and hasn't spoken to me since then. I do grieve the loss of our friendship but not at the cost of what 'I' believe will bring grief to my God. WHich is why, I find it totally bewildering when the very same people who claim to be peace loving, non-interfering, secular etc turn around and condemn me for being religious. I dont claim to be open-minded or liberal or even secular. I am infact none of these things. I dont intend to be either. So what I practise and preach is in line with what I profess to be. Not so when it comes to some folks I would say. I dont do labels. I go about practising my faith knowing very clearly in my mind where I am headed. Living out my faith in everyday situations is vital to my testimony as a woman living for Christ. In doing so, I may end up ruffling feathers, so be it. I can be different and infact chose to be different but if I am doing it with love, I know I am doin fine.

I do not plan to upset folks, but they chose to be upset anyway. Just because I wont light a few candles on Diwali or eat 'prasad' or wont allow my child to attend a 'puja' or wish to eat a burger while a neighbour is fasting for Ramdaan? Heck, I dont get all worked up when you make a public announcement that 'hey, it's Christmas, let's get drunk' or say something as flippant as, '' it's that dude, Christ's b'day apparently-lets party!" Or when you walk up to your manager and demand a day off for 25th Dec just to sleep in and not because you really care that it is Christmas! You know, it always surprises me when somebody acts surprised that I not only like to talk about my religion but also talk to everybody (who will listen) about it. I mean, just because you are not Christian does not mean I should shut up when you are around right? You dont like to talk about it? That's okay, I wont label you . I on the other hand, like to talk about it-which should be also fine, please dont label me either. Get it?? It was especially awkward when I lived in Europe. Boy, was it tough being religious! Naughty,dirty word! You are either supposed to kick out God or do yoga or reiki or other such nonny. It is no better in India. You should be okay about a loudspeaker blaring away middle of the night for some 'puja' or your religious practises and convictions being dismissed as totally insignificant. Or be like a modern- cosmopolitan -urban- city dweller. Everything goes. Else be labelled narrow minded, mean and confrontional. But then I should probably not get too worked up because currently in India, with the emergence of new money and increased purchasing power , religion and festivals are just another excuse to buy more! It has nothing to do with spirituality. At all.

You know, I really dont think religion is personal, at least for me . If I am acting in a certain manner and do not wish to hurt others by my acts then I should be willing to come up with an explaination. Which is what I tried doing this Diwali. Ended up annoying some folks but then I have never claimed to be politically correct. It is really not my headache if my reasons are not good enough for you. It is also fine if you think I am mad and narrow minded and dont wanna be friends with me anymore. I love you anyway. :)

A Happy Happy Post

2010-11-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

Some time ago I had posted about my birthday this year and the beautiful plants I got as gifts. Gardening makes me happy but since I now live in an appartment I have just a small container garden in a corner of my balcony. I wish I could have painted the walls of the concrete railing around , but am not allowed to. I have some nice murals in my head. I know many people dont think it is wise to invest too much in doing up a rented space. Not me! While the landlord may not even permit radical changes like structures or some weird painting of the walls, we (i.e. hubz and me) still like to put in roots wherever we chose to make our home. I like to live in pretty surroundings and try my best to make my house look nice. I take care of not going over board with my budget and have over a period of time collected stuff which gets packed up for the next move whenever required. That includes my babies-plants.

Anyway, I thought I will share some pics of my balcony garden. The weather now is awesome in Dubai and sometimes we can sit out for a cup of 'chai' after a long day. Yohaan too loves to potter around here while I tend to my plants. I do encourage him to get wet and dirty. It is the closest he can get to nature while living in a tiny appartment building.

All plants new! Except that Jade plant in the white fat tea-pot planter on the left.

This is just a begining of filling up my balcony with greenery.

Predator man on the prowl. My garden lit up for my b'day eve.

Look at the Giraffe!

Tell me , tell me whadya think of the pretty lights??

A close up. That little brass matka is from Benaras!

I love the play of shadows on the walls...I so want to paint this wall!

These pictures were taken by me on my birthday eve after a whole day spent repotting my new plants and cleaning up the balcony for a dinner Al-Fresco. The picture quality is sad because I am still learning people. They shall get better with time I suppose! Hope you enjoyed looking at them.

Cheers!

Help Needed Pliss

2010-11-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time of blogging for me but I am ashamed to admit I still haven't figured out how to insert linkies in my posts....you know when you are writing about something from somewhere on the web and you want the readers to click on it and reach that page? Like how all the talented bloggers insert here and here , which are links? Oh boy, am I making sense? Anyway, if anyone has understood my misery, pliss put me out of it asap. I have tried and tried and not succeeded so far. Pliss to comment or email and do your kind deed of the day. Thanks muchos.

Happy To Be Back

2010-11-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

Oh Yayyyyy! Am back to my new and pretty looking blog. What was intended to be a one month break stretched in to a longer one- much longer one. But then I had nothing to share and was running low on inspiration. In such circumstances I did not think my readers would take kindly to my mindless and uninspired rambling. So anyway, here I am hoping to resume my regular programming. Not much has happened in the last two and half months that I was away. Have a couple of posts drafted and I will be back with some recent pictures and view points. I truly believe 'everybody is entitled to my opinion' - in my humble opinion!! So there!

Ciao
H

Bloggy Break

2010-08-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovlies! I am so spent and drained in the last two months that I have decided to take a break- propah one from the www. It was taking too much from me. It is now that time in life wherein I need to sit back, evaluate, re-evaluate and say NO. To everything pretty much. And so I will be on a one month break. I am in India for a quick holiday. Basically for my parents and Yohaan to be together but more for me. I am so tired and non-happening. With stuff. Life in general. Just doing life, you know!

Thanks to my regulars. Please dont leave me and go away for good. I shall be back-soon enough. :)

Muchos muchos muah muah.

Signing out for now,
H

I am around, almost!

2010-08-07T00:37:00.000-07:00

I wish I had more time to write and blog. But the fact of the matter is that I dont. I am really busy with two more houseguests and the never ending cooking for everyone. The guests are almost bachelor like in their attitudes, so that means, no help comes forth from them in any shape or form. I am not complaining. Hosting people/hospitality is our ministry, so I better not complain. However, I am tired and not getting any break at all is driving me up the wall. Hubster is too busy -always- to do anything around the house. Yohaan is too little, ha ha, ha. So that pretty much leaves just me to get things done.

These two men are on a job hunt so all their time is spent on the two computers we have at home. That also means, I dont get to use the computer much during day time or even evening. That pretty much leaves late nights only. But with my new commitment to a healtheir lifestyle, I have tried to cut down on late nights and try to have early mornings. Writing does not come easily to me. So every time I have an idea for a post, I have to take my time framing it in my mind first. And since it doesnt come to me effortlessly, how do I post regularly here without re-writing it like thousand times before I publish? With the guys staying home mostly, unless they are out attending interviews, I have to supply them with tea/coffee/snacks and timely meals. To their credit, they are not at all demanding or even fussy. There are some mornings when I dont have the time/energy/inclination to cook breakfast and they manage with just a cup of tea! I am not going to let that make me feel bad simply because, I am not their mamma! They both cook really well, so my husband has asked them to help themselves in the kitchen if they dont see me pottering around! :)

Finally, I have been on a huge mission to clean and organise my kitchen/bedroom/living room. It has been almost four months we shifted here and I was not too happy with the layout of many things . I have completely re-organised my kitchen and now there is so much space. I love my newly organised cupboards etc. Will try and post pics. There are some more touches I want to add but that will have to wait for later. Next on my list is our bedroom and the teeny-tiny wardrobe. I am overwhelmed trying to organise our clothes etc. Hubster has discovered a place here where we can actually sell our clothes for a nominal amount. However, if anybody knows of a charity kind of store/place, please leave a comment. I will be happy to donate all our unused clothes which are in very good condition. I would also like to donate baby stuff of Yohaan's. And the best thing of all, I got lots of plants as a birthday gift. I have started my little balcony garden and that particular nook looks lovely. Will post pics. Dont ask when though.

There isnt much happening. I am just so busy. I am desperate for a small/mini break. This break MUST be spent alone. I dont want anybody around. Including Yohaan. I need stillness, silence and zero expectations from me for a few hours. Is that a lot to ask for?

A Day In Life-1

2010-07-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

This is part-1 of the posts wherein I talk about a day in my life. Hopefuly it will be an encouragement to all the mommies at home. Personally, I do not endorse a working mom/home maker, however, each to her own I guess. I do not by any means want to sound judgemental and my views are borne out of my own personal experience and my beliefs as a Christian woman.

There is something deeply soothing and reassuring about running a house well. The daily dynamics, the routine, the predictability of it all is a welcome relief while the world outside is fighting it's battles. For me it is a safe haven. A day in my life is pretty full. With my chores, cooking and parenting, I hardly have time to even stop and think of anything else, leave alone worry about. Needless to add, it is a full life and one that I chose more than gladly. I have always been convinced that being a home maker was/is my calling and I take immense pride in it. Becoming a mother is just an awesome bonus of course.

Sure, there are times, often when I am tired and angry and resentful or just fed up of life at home but thankfully those are really quite few. I am so deeply grateful to my Lord that he has enabled me to stay home and be a wife and a mother. What an unprecedented privilege. I say this because as Christians we live in counter cultural times. The premise is that if an educated, modern, broad minded young woman chooses to live at home (and enjoy it !) out of her own free will, she better be assigned to the fringes of society. She is not contributing in a tangible ways and fighting to battles. Many of my secular girlfriends balk at my life at home. They presume, I must be so bored of the drudgery of home keeping. That my parents wasted all their money on educating me. But I vehemently disagree. I know my Lord requires me to be excellent in everything I pursue and has given me abundant opportunities to prove myself. On a daily basis. And impact lives through my home ministry.

Above all, the work I do at home challenges me to my core. It takes every ounce of strength, ingenuity, hard work, diligence and intelligence to be good at home making. It makes for a stable happy family life, a happy husband and hopefuly one day, happy, well adjusted children who will grow up to live and serve Jesus!

I am a feminist’s nightmare! I enjoy doing all those things which they have fought for decades to get rid of from the society. My day starts at a comfortable hour of eightish (because we all sleep very late). Hubster enjoys very flexi timings now that he is self employed and it is a blessing because then I don’t have a morning manic rush to get things done. Yohaan is a late riser so I have a good 2-3 hours to myself in the mornings to jump start my day. I am mostly always excited about waking up to a new day. How cool is that no? Imagine waking up dreading the day or without a purpose! After a quick freshening up, I load the laundry for the day having collected it from the bathroom hamper. The best part is even if I forget to hang it out once it is all done, the heat in Dubai lasts 24/7, so whatever time I put the clothes out, they will be bone dry. I am just saying because I have a huge problem, I keep forgetting to put the clothes out for drying. :(

After this is I make myself a huge mug of tea (Indian Chai actually). And I sit along with it on the net for a while checking my mails, favourite blogs etc. Then back to the kitchen to assemble and cook breakfast for hubster. It is mostly the same stuff with a few changes once in a while. He likes his south Indian spread. So it is mostly dosas, idlis with eggs or some curry from the night before. Once in a while he will eat a western breakfast of toast, eggs, bacon etc, basically the works. I always ask him what does he want for breakfast and rustle it up while he gets ready for work. This is also the time , while breakfast is cooking, I mostly call my mother back in India for a quick hello. Multitasking is the name of the game people!

Once hubster leaves for work, I just sit for 15 minutes because that one hour of getting it all ready for his departure is pretty intense. We talk while he eats, plan for the day, do our budget for the day, plan our menu together and he assigns me some task if there is a need like maybe pay the bills on the net or call security/plumber/electrician for some work around the house or just to call the laundry guys. He also tries and gives me a basic lowdown on how his day is going to be and if he will be home for lunch. That is enough notice for me to cook something he will like for lunch. He has prison visits sometimes. The central jail is close to our house, so if he has to call there, he will come by for lunch. It is always a nice, welcome change to have him for that.

Right then, once my sit-out break is over. I head back to the kitchen to do my general clean up and organize Yohaan's breakfast. Mostly fruit puree and oatmeal. Quick and simple. Once that is done, I clean the living hall and the guest bathroom. Everyday. Sometimes twice a day because Yohaan makes a bomb go off every day and by the time it is night, my house looks terribly rubbish! His toys, food, half eaten and drying-everything gets piled on everywhere. Anyway, this task always gets done very fast because essentially, we have a small house after all. Hereafter, I wait for Yohaan to wake up. Once he is up, he has to be changed and fed. Thankfully he enjoys his food so it is not a big chore to be completed. Once he is settled, I hit the bedrooms and the master bath. Clean, dust, change, throw out whatever needs to be out and pull it all together for the day. This also doesn’t take a lot of time but then if I have been slack the previous day, the mess just builds up and I have to put in extra time. I have figured if I make the bed at least, the bed room looks fairly clean. That’s cheating I know, but with a toddler underfoot, I have had to let go of a lot pre-held standards of keeping house. Now post baby, I just about manage.

While I clean around the house I also get Yohaan's lunch going. Mostly rice, lentils and 2-3 veggies thrown in. I don’t cook for myself and make do with previous night's left overs. I try and eat healthy because I am trying to lose weight big time. Most days I manage to be on track. If daddy will be home for lunch I simple recycle the left over dinner. Say make a stir fry from the previous night's fish fry. Or add meat to previous night's vegetable curry and serve it up with some rice and salad. No brainer!

By this time it is mostly late afternoon which is when I give Yohaan his daily massage and a nice hot bath followed by lunch. If he is sleepy, I put him down for his nap else, we both play or sing quietly and I also add in a quick shower for myself. Some days a neighbour will visit with her child. It is a loosely programmed afternoon. No hard and fast schedules. The sun and the heat is relentless and we cannot venture out. Yohaan assists me in my daily afternoon ritual of drawing the curtains and making the house a little darker and cooler. In any case, the ac's are always on. He seems to enjoy this basic simple task immensely, I think he clearly knows the change in the rhythm of the day as it slows down to early evening. If he naps, I get some precious me time during which I surf the net, read a book, tackle some pending task of the week or just sit and watch space! I like to switch off. This is how the morning-afternoons are for me most days except maybe weekends. In my next post I will continue with the latter half of the day.

Give Me Some Air

2010-07-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

...to breathe. I really do need some space and me time. June was one crazy month. You guys must be so tired reading about my never ending 'crazy' days, weeks, months now. What can I say. I am one of those people who attract crazy-ness. The whole world knows that I live in a house as big as a chicken pen. One movement and you are liable to bump in to something- mostly injury inducing. It is a different matter that I still have trouble keeping it clean and organised. Let me not even go there. With the brat becoming more and more naughtier by the day, I have almost given up any semblance of order in my life, and the house is just a small part of my many hassles !

June was a time of unprecedented flow of house guests. Six adults to be precise. All staying with us at the same time. Eldest being somewhere in her 60's and the youngest ofcourse being Yohaan. Hubster's childhood friend calls us one morning from UK, informing us that his dad who works here in the UAE has suffered a stroke and can we please check on him before he flies in himself. So off we go to the hospital and find the old man almost dead due to a massive stroke. Frantic phone calls back and forth, much running around for visit visas and the friend's family arrives en masse. Mom, elder brother and lil sister. And as it happens with us Indians, they ofcourse stayed with us. We wouldn't dream of saying no because it was after all a medical emergency. Again, it is a different matter that Yohaan thought it was all one big partayyyyy! He was so excited and obviously happy with the sudden deluge of guests and the extra attention he garnered. They were with us for approx 8-9 days.

Mommy, ofcourse died. Cooking, cleaning and responding to needs. I dont want to crib about it because I always like guests. However, hosting folks in a really small house did me in. There were people all over!! Added to that, hubster's another friend from childhood is staying with us for 2 months looking for a job. I kept telling myself it would be okay. Okay. It will pass. The reason why I got so overwhelmed was that I was ill prepared to host anybody at such short or practically no notice. My cartons from the big move 3 months ago are still in a state of mess. I have only our master bedroom functional because I haven't summoned the energy to fix the guset bed room -yet. The living room/ dining hall has furniture designed for a large house, so there isnt much space. Thankfuly, we do have two bathrooms. The logistics of 7 adults and one toddler under one tiny roof is pretty nightmarish. I did a good job of being calm but I must confess I lost the battle to chaos, much mess and dirt and a perpetual state of fatigue. In my mind, this is not the way to live or even host friends. There should be for example clean linen, clean toilets, simple but good food and and an over all sense of control. I had nothing going for me. To their credit, our friends were very accomodating and undemanding. But I still felt inadequate. Nothing I did looked or felt good. Except maybe for the clean/fresh linen I managed to provide everybody.

Miraculously their father did a u-turn and survived the stroke! The family were naturally more relaxed at this news. So were we. Because everybody loosened up. Enough to enjoy some good meals. Some general mall hopping and many laughs reminiscing over childhood stories. I got to know hubster's friend and his family. Got some interesting insights in to family dynamics and most importantly some of the early childhood influences on my husband. I kind of understand better as to why/how he has chosen to be the kind of husband/father /son/friend/brother that he is today. As I closed the door on the last of my guest departing for India, I heaved a sigh of relief and a sent up a grateful thanks to the Lord for my family. It was a mad, hectic week. But not without lessons learnt in gratitude and God's provision for us. He somehow kept me going without falling apart even though I was so not equipped to handle myself leave alone so many guests!

Cherry on the cake you would like to know? In considerable pain Yohaan, who had to go and sprout 6 teeth together in June alone! While the guests were here. Not much I could do. When will it end, Lord?

Logging My Loss

2010-06-15T04:10:00.000-07:00

I have battled my wieght for all of my adult life. It has been a constantly losing war. Me being the loser ofcourse. And by 'loser' I dont mean the pounds! For the longest time I gave up thinking it is hopeless to even try. Clothes dont fit? No problem, we have 'darzis' in India who will stitch me bigger-larger clothes. Shoes? Well, feet dont become fat :), so there. Got diagnosed with Diabetes-2, well, blame it on the DNA/genes. So on and so forth.

Then I became a mommy. And to my utter despair I could not keep up with my son's energy levels. And we are talking of a toddler here! Its hard - I am a stay at home mom, and I am lonely. I don't have much "real life" support, and my boy is at a trying age, so I spent a lot of time feeilng trapped and frustrated. And, I would eat those feelings away a lot. The fleeting pleasure eating gave me seemed to soothe me. Nothing else mattered. But the knowledge that if I continued the same way, I wouldn't be around for long to see my son grow up, is scary, very scary. I felt 62 instead of 32!

So sometime last month, I got my Aha! moment. This was while playing with Yohaan and not being able to run down the corridoors for more than 5 minutes. That was it. I resolved to change my lifestyle. A friend made it easier by cheering me to at least make a start. Armed with diet plans and workout videos, I slowly but steadily incorporated mini changes in to my lifestyle. And the pounds started dropping. In total, I have lost 10 kilos with 6 out of this in an incredible 3 weeks only!! Is that awsome or what!

I have some friends who need encouragement today. Please know that if I can do it, so can you. We have a long way to go, but we will get there. Who said it will be super-fun? It wont be and I will be honest, but you know what? Being thin is tastier than food!

PS- To the One from The Cherry Hill, I am sorry, I owe you a mail. But I will be following this post with another one detailing my fitness plans, so you can go through it and hopefuly be encouraged.

Go Away!

2010-05-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

I know, bit of a vague title for the post but then given my unfortunate tendency of suddenly going missing for long-longer-longest period from around here, it is the best I could come up with to tell you all thats been happening . (This is a long sentence and even I dont know what I mean..anyways.) I drafted some really cute Yohaan-centric posts to regale you my dear readers but all sorts of things happened and I could not get any time to visit my own blog, leave alone post new stuff.

I was in the throes of excercising and dieting and losing weight. Then one day, I tripped on the doormat (how do such things happen to me, please dont ask or even wonder). I (think) injured the muscles of my inner-right-thigh. By late evening I had developed the mother- of- all Sciatica kind of pain. It orginated somewhere in my bum and went right down my legs. For the next two days, I promise you, the pain was so bad that I almost started wishing back for my c-sec pain guys! I was just lying flat on the bed, in sheer agony, crying tears of panic and anxiety because it seemed so unreal! I could not sneeze,cough,laugh (although why would I want to laugh in such a situation is beyond me), turn to my sides. Hubster decided at that very moment to give me the inquisition. How? Why? How long? As if I fell on purpose! Was it a sneaky way of keeping him home all day? As if! It is eight years of you now being glued to me, get over yourself, is what I wanted to scream at him but let it pass because it involved too much effort.

Again at the same very precise moment my son decided that he had had enough of mamma lying around uselessly and his little brain-in-a-big-head came up with this unfortunate idea of 1. Jumping on my tummy 2. head banging on the said tummy, to get my attention. Oh the hell...I screamed my head off at the hubster to get this guy off me. Muchos chaos, screaming, shouting, tears, confusion later peace prevailed for like two minutes. Brat that my son is, resumed his head banging again no doubt thinking to himself that 'it hasn't gotten me any spanking,so must be ok to resume'. A very frustrated me begged hubster and son to 'just go awayyyyy, leave me alone'. He asks me 'where?' I say ' just anywhere, go to Al Ain' ( Al Ain- is a neighbouring emirate). I dont know why I said it. Anyhow, this offended hubster because err, Al Ain is famous for it's zoo! He informed brat ,'Yohaan, mama thinks we are fit for the zoo'. Hey, I didnt say that now! Proceeded to drag Yohaan off me which caused more misery ofcourse and I yelled 'oh maaaa'. Apparently, this upset him even more, here's how:

Hubster in a very pensive, hurt mode: 'Am I not a good husband?' Tell me reader, who needs such a question when he/she is sure they are gonna die-soon-of-the-pain? Anyways, I gave him a counter-questioning look. He explains how his mind works. "Well, you are in so much discomfort, why are you calling out to your mom and not to me?'' ''Am I not a comfort to you in times of trouble, we are husband-wife after all?'' I refuse to be drawn in to any kind potentially dangerous topics of inlaws vs inlaws. So I said to him, calmly and with irrefutable logic, ''I am calling out to my mother because you and your son are going to check- in to the Al Ain zoo and a caged husband wont be of much help in the given circumstances.''

PS- It has taken almost ten days or more to get better. I still limp and have a lingering pain but am atleast mobile now. The wise ole www informs me that such injuries can take upto four-six weeks to be fully gone. I am banned from too much activity and high heels. Needless to add, my excercising is severly limited now a days and high heels? Outta question.

On Being Lonely- part II

2010-05-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

In response to my previous post in which I moaned about being lonely, my sis in Canada i.e. MSIC, sent me a mail...it is so encouraging that I am posting an excerpt from it...have left out the private bits ofcourse to protect her privacy...for all the new moms, tired moms, lonely moms, helpless moms and all kinds of moms, this one's for you! Read and be encouraged.

On a seperate note: I think sisters really rock! Everybody must have one! :) Love you sistah...you are my sunshine girl!

Hi babes,

Read your recent post..I guess you are going through one of those days...I know you will get over it. It would be nice if you could connect with one of the moms and yak till eternity. That's what we moms do here. I know how the demands of our kids can be so draining..I remember feeling that they were like leaches sucking my blood out of me. You have to take some time out for yourself. Trust me no one will do it for you. No one will say.."Oh! you've been with a little guy for the whole day, why don't you go out and have some adult time". You have to go and get it for yourself. No matter how generous you are, but if you are running on "empty", there is no way you can give anything, let alone giving with love. You have to fill yourself up and only then can you give....Writing blogs is fun and cathartic, but you need human interaction, someone your own age, other than your husband. We women need that sisterhood. When you talk about the drudgery of being a mom, only a mom will understand. A dad may say " Oh! you are being so ungrateful, is this how you talk about God's precious gift, blah blah blah". They don't understand that its not that we are ungrateful, we still love and adore those little ones, but we are humans and we get tired.

I also have to tell you as Yohaan gets bigger things will change, ones they start playing on their own, watching a bit of TV etc., will give you some "me time". Every moment of being a mom has been a lavish blessing for me, but when I am tired boy it feels like __________ ( you can fill in the blank)

On being Lonely

2010-05-13T23:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever experienced lonliness? Ofcourse we all would have, right? At different points in our lives. For the longest time I have been struggling with loneliness. Even as a little girl, I remember being lonely. Then it got worse during the teens. I am a people's person. I like being out and about , making friends, having someone over for a meal or just visiting a friend. But through my twenties and untill now, lonliness has seeped in to my very being. It sits there, just like that, in my heart. And now it feels quite physical too. Dont mistake it for discontentment though. I am happy with life. I am happy with the choices I have made so far and have no regrets. But this lonliness doesn't leave me alone! I do have some really good friends in different parts of the world. In Dubai, I have a girl friend too. She is close to me, a believer and a lovely human being. But she doesn't touch my soul as a soul mate-girlfriend sorta way...you get me? I adore her. We spend a lot of time together and dont keep secrets. But I am lonely with her too.

Then there is hubster. I am a truly besotted wife/lover. He is my soul mate in the true romantic/mushy kinda way. For quite a while I have been co-dependant. It feels as if I wont be able to even breathe without him. There is this constant longing and that achy-with-love feeling. It makes me feel suffocated actually. So I have prayed about it because to be honest, I dont think he feels it so bad! I dont know if my prayer for relief has been answered yet. It is a strange prayer after all. I need to get relief from feeling so intensly about him because it eats me up inside out. I dont want to idolise him. He cannot/must not become my idol. And loving him this way has made me more lonely. Hubster is not a man given to much display of emotions. He does not demand, he just takes his space and blocks out stuff as and when he wants to. Including me. And that hurts, big time. This is when loneliness strikes even in my relationship with him, the love of my life. I cannot reach his depths because he wont let me. That makes me feel oh so lonely.

I thought becoming a mother will change things. It did not! It has gotten worse infact! I find mothering and being a full time mamma a very isolating experience. I must confess, even though I love my baby desperatly, there are times I resent the whole deal. And sadly enough, I dont even know why the resentment. The boredom. The sheer drudgery. The feeling that it is only me he can turn to for his needs is suffocating . I know mommies love being needed. I do too 99% of the times. But the rest of it- exhausts me. Ironically enough, I truly feel and am convinced God enabled my marriage and motherhood to fulfill my need to give love. To live and breathe it over someone. But I hadn't expected it to lead me to even more loneliness. I assumed I would be happy to be generous.

All this leads me to ask, what about me then? What will fulfill me? Who will take away my lonliness? Or what will? I know a decade back before I became a christian, I had a God shaped void in my heart. Then He filled it with himself. WHich has led to a deeply soul satisfying contentment. So then, am I wrong in saying I am lonely? Is loneliness and dis-contentment (with life) the same thing? I am happy but I am lonely...is it possible? I dont know it yet, but that's exactly how I feel. Have felt it for so long now.

My Readers

2010-05-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

After a lot of angst ridden, careful scrutiny I have come to the conclusion that I have only 3 regular readers and one of them is family! So probably does not even count because sometimes she knows me better than anybody! Yes, that MSIC! :(

*puts her head down and gloomily stares in to space*

These are a few of my UN-favourite things.

2010-05-12T06:05:00.000-07:00

Dont we all girls have our pet peeves around the house? I mean chores which you really, really hate doing but know must tackle so that we maintain our sanity? I am so, so, so (see I used 'so' thrice to drive it home) annoyed by the following tasks which recur in my life endlessly:

1. Dusting. Yep. HATE it! To the last dust particle around. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Each day-every day.

2. Scrubbing the cooking range/stove top. Arrrrgh. HATE it. Indian cooking means lot of oil spills. Lots of spice powders flying around everywhere including right in to my nose.

3. Putting the wet clothes out for drying. Despise it. And a new word for hate!!

4. Searching endlessly for hubster's underwear and socks which are like, forever missing. He has so many and I dont understand why...does he need to add to my stress levels. Abominable.

5. Washing dishes which have not been soaked properly by - me-who-else. Then trying to wash off diamond hard food crusts off eg corn flakes, cereals eaten for breakfast and left in the kitchen sink etc.

6. Changing water in the mopping bucket each time, for every room seperately.

There must be a lot more for me but right now I am annoyed just writing about it, so will let it pass. And yes, you can see that I do have an exciting life considering that I am posting stuff about dusting and cleaning , undies and socks for goodness sakes!

Health Update

2010-05-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Well, as resolved by moi a few days ago on this very blog dear readers, I have managed to make some positive changes in my lifestyle. Remember, how I was whining about not wanting to do anything around the house, how lack of motivation was draining me of all enthusiasm to get my house/life in order. Turns out it was all directly related to my food habits in a BIG way! Honestly guys, we really must know how poor eating choices can wreck us! Like totally! (Hubster would cringe at my usage of ''like totally'' here, he thinks it is only used by tacky-teens) Anyhow, it is such a huge relief to diagnose my problems. Simple- it was only because of bad food habits. And lack of water! Imagine!

I started about a week ago and cannot tell you how happy I am with the changes I see in me. My weight, hair,nails, skin, mood-swings....all seem to have improved so much! And I do seem to have a lot more energy for my chores too. But the best thing is ofcourse the weight loss and the improvement in skin tone and texture . I have adult acne sometimes but with the new changes it is gone! Maybe I can be the next Bollywood queen....but wait, how will I have time for that, I am so busy guzzling down water by the litres!! And then peeing! It's like being pregnant again! But I love what it does to my body-all tha water. So folks, you too get going on that! I try and get in at least 4 ltrs every day.

From today I am going to start my excercise regimen. It is not something I am looking forward to, but needs must.

The Food Tag

2010-04-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

I got a food tag from a fellow blogger friend. It was lying around since ages in my mail box waiting to be picked up. The rules are simple. Just talk about your favourite food memories...this should be easy I think because I love to cook and eat and by the way folks, it shows. Oh, how it shows!! Without further ado then...

1. Undoubtedly, Mutton Pulao- or Yakhni Gosht Pulao, as the correct name goes. If I was anorexic, believe you me, I would be gorging on this day and night -as a stand alone cure for it! A one pot rice casserole made of the finest Basmati rice, marinated chunks of Lamb and aromatic spices. The recipe for this has been passed down from my maternal grandmother and now our cook at home does an equally good job. Ever since I was a little girl, it has been an absolute favourite. And the one fond memory I have of it being cooked at our house? Well, from childhood till now, whenever it's being made, I hover impatiently around the cook and the kitchen, waiting for it to be ready to eat. I have also been known to taste it while still uncooked...I have been known to have left overs for up to 3 days later- and yes for all meals!

2.Haldiram's Bhujiya: Despite the recent conviction of the owner of Haldiram's in a murder case, he still has a loyal customer in me. That's how loyal I am! Fried, spicy savoury snack from North India (actually Rajasthan I think), this has so many memories attached to it. My sister in Canada, N, loves it too and I think it was she who got me involved in this love affair! I remember many evenings of gorging on Bhujiya with tea. Everyone in my family knows about it and when I visit India, dad makes sure the stock never finishes!

3. Cheese Bread Roll: When we were very young, maybe 9-10 years old, my sister, who is four years older then me, started developing a great interest in cooking. Oh, I remember, many many evenings, she would fry these rolls for all of us younger couisns etc. She was herself quite young, but the earliest memory of her becoming a fine cook that she is today, starts from these evenings. At 77 Number (our add back home), the steps of the mini terrace, hot bread rolls with gooey cheese filling and tomato ketchup which we called sauce for some reason!

4. Jhaal Moori of St John's: This was another favouriteeeeeee. Again introduced to it by my sister. Oh dear, I do see a patter here. Anyhow, I remember, during lunch break I would go to my sister and ask her for some money. Then promptly go and spend it on Gupta Ji's Jhaal Moori. He was an external vendor, selling this snack within our school compound. A mix of puffed rice, green peas, fresh lime and chaat masala (or God only knows what), he had us eating out if his hands! He did brisk business and hope has pots of money today.

5. Maggi Noodles curry flavour: Oh boy!!! Oh Boy! I need not say much because then I will be tempted to go and make some for myself, like right now! When we were in London struggling to make some money so we could get married, I lived off Maggi Noodles often. Hubster, who was my fiance then, would cook it for me all the time and serve it with so much love and enthusiasm, it made me fall for him a little more everyday! And I decided at those precise moments, I am not letting go of this man!

Hmmph, these are some of my best food related memories. By the way, since I write so much about my -sister-in-canada, might as well name her MSIC for blogging purposes! That's settled then.

My Experiments in the Kitchen

2010-04-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

Following my poor lifestyle choices and ill health, I got a wake up call on Monday. I suffered from Vertigo the whole day. It was truly terrible and hubster took me to a GP in the evening. The good doc quickly diagnosed my problem. It seems I was spending too much time hunched over my laptop in a totally incorrect posture. Long hours of this and I am on my way to cervical problems if I dont stop now. It was such an awakening. I dont want to be sick with anymore chronic diseases because I already do have diabetes. Thank you very much.

Ever since then, I have made drastic changes in my lifestyle most especially with regards to the food we eat as a family. I started following Rujuta Diwekar, a celebrity nutritionist and trainer from India. I have her book Dont loose your mind, Loose your weight. It is such a life saver. Full of practical and do-able stuff. I am sowly but surely incorporating her advise in to my eating habits and can already see/feel tremendous change. Now, I would have signed up for a nutrition session with her but she caters to the major celebrities in Bollywood. So imagine her fees! Best left unsaid. *heavy sighing*

Anyhow, inspired by this new regimen I am posting a recipe here. My first ever, although I dont want to blog too much about recipes because I feel it is tiring. I luurvvvve to cook but writing about what I cook would be a bit too much, me thinks. It is a major stress buster for me. For our dinner tonight, I invented a new combo of Dal (Lentils) with pumkin and green Moong sprouts. I dont cook seperately for Yohaan. He eats whatever we do. If it gets too spicy I just add fresh Yoghurt to his bowl. And he loves it all. I made this Dal in order to disguise some vegetables in it, mainly for hubster. Can you imagine, a grown man, has to be fed veggies like a spoilt teen!

Here's the recipe:

Toor/Arahar dal- 2 small handfuls, washed and soaked for a coupls of hours.
Moong dal- a handful . Washed and soaked overnight . I happened to have some already soaked.
Pumpkin- 1 cup, washed , roughly chopped, de-seeded- any sweet variety.
Green chillies- Whlole 1 or 2 , any variety, depending upon your taste
Raw green mango- 1 small, peeled and chopped in to thin strips
Turmeric- 1 small tsp
Salt to taste
Clarified butter (desi ghee) or any vegetable oil- 2 tsp

Boil all the ingredients together in 2.5 glasses of water. Add one tsp of oil in it so that the curry does not boil over. Boil for roughly 20 minutes or so. The longer your dal has been soaked, the faster it will cook. After the first five minutes of a rolling boil, cover the pot and simmer for the rest 15 minutes. Keep checking once in a while if the water is reducing, else you may need to add more water . The consistency should be that of a thick soup. Once you have checked for the done-ness, stir it around vigrously so it becomes soft and mashed up nicely.

And finally, We got to do the tempering!

In a small wok, heat the remaining 1 tsp ghee/oil. When hot, throw in a pich of asafoetida, 1 small tsp of cumin seeds, 1 small tsp of mustard seeds, 1 small dry red chilly. When all of this starts to plutter put in 1 small tsp of finely chopped garlic, 1 small finely chopped onion and 1 small tomato. Let sizzle and become soft. Pour over your dal. Serve hot with plain steamed rice.

I am serving this with rice, salad and some fried fish masala tonight. It cannot get simpler!

On not being so good over here!

2010-04-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

I was all fired up to put up los of new posts this whole month (and the coming months too!) but my best laid plans went kaput! I have been sick. Yohaan was sick. Hubster was sick looking after the sick! With a hyper active baby who likes to do everyting himself, life is never easy. So I rapidly slid in to a pattern of letting my health suffer. Being a insulin dependant diabetic, I cannot, must not skip meals. Which is what I started doing. Not a good thing at all. Too many skipped meals. Eating on the go, making do with whatever is available, read- visible in the fridge and I landed in a mess. My sugar levels are all over the place . Sometimes it spikes sharply, sometimes it dips alarmingly low! Making me feel perpetually lethargic,dizzy, insomniac and irratable, trembly, sweaty and what not, I can assure you, you dont wanna be me right now.

Ps- Sister in Canada, if you are reading this, please dont inform mother. She will nag me to an early death. Already!

Which is why, I could not write new stuff you know. Stuff which I am sure, totally makes your day, dear reader! Stuff which you must absolutely must, read before you begin your day. Stuff which makes you sigh in wonderment and awe as to how amazingly well this blogger writes! Stuff which make you feel like throwing away your own stable life and get in to my shoes. What can I say. I live to make your days and reading quota ultra fulfilling.

Yesterday, I and Yohaan went out for an evening walk after what seemed like ages. Met a nice lady who has a son just a month older than Yohaan. So we got talking. We discovered a lot of things in common. The biggest one ofcourse being our boys. Then she asked me how many teeth has Yohaan sprouted so far? Very proudly I informed her ''eight''. Well, her boy has ten! Oh , ok then. Wow. Good job. Me wondering ofcourse when is Yohaan going to catch up....envying her little boy's all round chubbyness and ofcourse his ''ten'' teeth! Guess what? I should not have bothered. She is a full time working mamma. In great concern I asked her if the molars had caused him a lot of pain and discomfort, poor thing. Molars are a very painful phenomenon people. Anyhow, the answer she gave me left me speechless . She said ''I dont know, I didnt even notice, I saw them this morning, I hardly have time to feed him, we are all on a strict schedule, I really dont have time to notice his teeth of all the things''. !!!!!. No No No, I will not judge working mothers but really, I am absolutely, heart warmingly happy that I notice all this and everything else that happens to my boy. And I came away from our walk wondering why did she have a baby when she has no time notice. And something as earth shattering as new molars of her own toddler!

Missing love

2010-04-07T12:26:00.001-07:00

So hubster has gone away this evening to see his mother in India. It will be a short trip(thankfuly) and I am missing him dreadfuly. *heavy sighing*- wont help much though.

This evening me and Yohaan went to see him off at the airport. And miraculously, hubster kissed me in public...not once but twice! I had to shoo him off because there is this British couple who are going to be jailed for getting amorous in public here in Dubai. Being a lawyer and all that jazzzzzz, he should know better I would imagine. Thankfuly nobody spotted us and we are safe. Oh the relief. But guys, I do have a tendency to exaggerate a bit. Post Yohaan, hubster and me are more like brother-sister duo combatting the exhausting effects of procreating. Never knew he would wreck so much havoc on our love life! Anyhow, off he went my older man and the little man almost had a mini meltdown. But I quickly distracted him and we were out of the departure lounge safely and without any embarrasement (primarily to me ofcourse).

Our driver cum man- friday is going to India for a couple of months untill hubster sorts out his visa and stuff. Will miss him. He is an extremely polite and a charming young man. Very sincere and good to us. Drives a bit crazily but better than many citizens of Dubai. He took us to a mall afterwards where yours truly tried to 'shop away' the hubster blues. I have a deep connection with retail therapy. It works best for me. Picked up lots of chinese blue pottery in miniature sizes and it is soooo cute. Will post pics. Just dont ask me when though. And oh, I also bought a really cute little dress and wooden hair clips for our driver's baby daughter. She will be one in June. I haven't yet gotten a chance to send anything for her. And I went bersek in the baby-girls clothes section. And I am determined to have a baby girl now....

That thought should firmly chase away any sisterly feelings I have developed for hubster post Yohaan. I cannot elaborate because this blog is PG rated after all. That way, I also MIGHT get more readers...how utterly strategic!

*walks away with naughty thoughts*

Bummed Mamma Makeover

2010-04-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to net surfing. It has reached such heights that I get withdrawal symptoms if I cannot read my favourite blogs everyday. The other day our internet connection went kaput for a while and I hounded hubster till he got it fixed! Baddddd, I knowwww.

Anyways, the point of this post today is to announce to the www in black and white that today being Easter (for want of a better day), I am adopting some resolutions in my life. Before I became a mother, I was a lot in to home decor, cooking, fashion and generally living life to the fullest. With a baby now, I realised that I have let myself go in so many ways. And it plays and plays and plays on my mind all the time. I keep thinking and hearing from my best friend R, ''you were not like this''. I cannot go on like this. Sure, it will take a huge effort on my part but then the alternative is driving me insane. Instead of just venting out here why dont I do something about it. I mean how much can my readers empathise/sympathise with my constant drama-queen moaning?? So, here goes.

1. I will (try) loose weight. Look after my hands, hair and skin. We will see.
2. I will keep my house in the best shape possible. Even if Yohaan is hell bent on destroying my efforts.
3. I will get up every morning and simply dress up! That's it. I live in t-shirts and shorts. If I have to step out I just change in to jeans. Not acceptable from now on. And if I am going out in jeans, then I am doing my makeup and accesories too. The whole works. It better work for me! This will also be my bit for hubster. He has already threatened me for lounging around practically naked in the house. (lots of threats lately)
I will be thankful- NO MATTER WHAT!

That's it folks. I will be putting up pictures, largely to inspire myself. Anyone else wants to join in the ride, just gimme a shout.

Over to you now Jesus. Cannot do it without Your help!!!

Easter Sunday!

2010-04-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

A Happy Easter to all my readers.... may the salvation and peace of the risen Lord Jesus give us all of our joy. It is a working day here, hubster has to be at work, so nothing planned on this side of the world....but I hope everyone else will have a wonderful time with loved ones.

To: the one from the Cherry Hill..

2010-04-01T15:05:00.001-07:00

I keep getting a visitor from Cherry Hill(NY)...I am mighty pleased by this reader's patience and loyalty towards my blog. Wont you please delurk and leave a comment...ah, afterthought: maybe its just my sister N, in Canada frantically visitng my blog to see the latest post...since I do a lousy job of keeping her updated via mail or phone!! Sorry sistah! Please get updates from mom untill I push my lazy butt to do the needful.

Your baby sister,
h

The post with no title

2010-04-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

And it is going to be quite obvious why! I have no inspiration today to give this post a title...it is going to be a blah post then. *sigh*

Off late I am troubed by the fact that I am inherently lazy. I am a lazy human being and nothing seems to help. I mean look at the way I am unable to hold my house together. I dont think having a toddler (a hyper one at that!) in the house is an excuse to let everything else go. I know mothers who have like three,four even six kids and seem to manage fine. So, no that cannot be an excuse. Although Yohaan does his best in undoing everything I accomplish around the house. I enjoy folding laundry. What can I say...my life is exciting huh? Anyways, I will bring in all the clothes and pile them on the couch. Lovingly fold away every crease and make neat piles. My little man will come around and systematically pull everything to the ground. Pick up one underwear and proceed to dust everything in sight. He copies me you see! I will be in the kitchen or on the phone, come back and try not to scream at him!

And this goes on in every corner of the house. He gets in to the kitchen shelves and cupboards to pull out all the pots and pans. When I ask him what exactly does he think he is doing, he will give me a goofy grin and say ''khana''- meaning I am cooking mama! This cooking business keeps him busy for hours but in the process I loose a lot of hair. I was such a control/neat freak before. With Yohaan, it has been a huge struggle giving up this trait of mine...Anyways, I am now compiling a daily to-do list which will be non negotiable. I need to do this else I might slip in to depression. I have chosen the role of a home maker willingly for myself and if this is one thing I cannot get right, what's the whole damn point, see?

Last night I spotted thousands of misc stuff under/behind our bed and exclaimed loudly to the hubster... "OMG! Yohaan has thrown everything under/behind our bed, eeeksss, how will I ever get it all out?" Hubster replies very sweetly, ''that is your problem babe''. Needless to add I am mighty annoyed with him for not adding a helpful/encouraging bit to my already frazzled state. But then, he is right,as usual which annoys me even more.

So from this week, I am going to assign fixed hours for my housework. Which involves getting up early morning and finishing the chores before the little tyke gets up. Which means I am not going to be very happy but it also means some order and peace in my head. I am not a morning person at all. Yohaan's school will not start before 3 years at least. I dont see why should I be torturing myself waking up at some unearthly hour. But I did know this was coming. I have run out of options now. Hubster has enrolled (again) in an intensive Arabic class which starts at 8am. He wakes up really early to finish his homework and get ready before he leaves. I sometimes get up to give him his morning coffee and breakfast but not always. To his credit, he doesnt expect me to. But every house hold has a certain rhythm to it. Families have dynamics. Members have roles to play and tasks to carry out. Hubster performs his wonderfuly. Yohaan, the toddler does it even better, performing everything that a toddler is supposed to (read: creating havoc ) *more sighing*, except for me-the mamma. :( If one member is not contributing towards keeping the rhythm going smoothly, it can all come tumbling down. Dont you agree. My sister always says, moms cannot take an off! How right she is. Mom is ofcourse a generic term also for wife, cook, cleaner, baker, mender, fixer, shopper, comforter etc. At the moment I am none of those.

Send me good thoughts people. I am so tired of not achieving even a quarter of my daily goals. They are mundane, but keep the wheels running you know!

Conversations with my 16 month old

2010-03-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

Yohaan is only sixteen months old. Still a baby one would say! But he says the the cutest stuff when it comes to applying his baby vocabulary to situations. Here's how.

Using his current favourite word: Yeah.
Me: Yohaan, do you want juice?
Y: Yeah.
Me: Do you want to sleep now?
Y: Yeah
Me: Yohaan, do you want to go out and play?
Y: Yeah.
Me: Yohaan, are you hungry?
Y: Yeah
Me: Yohaan, do you want mummy to whack your butt?
Y: errr, yeah!!
LOLLLLL, he does have a mean mamma doesnt he!

Another favourite word: No
Me: Give mamma a kissy Yohaan..
Apparently it is ok to ask for one because he plants a big fat kissy on my head.
Me: OK, now give kissy to your bunny. (His fav toy)
Obliges.
Me: Yohaan, give daddy a kissy?
Considers the request. Says 'NO' and walks away with a major attittude. Watch it sonny boy, daddy will cancel your visa and make you an illegal in Dubai if you dont curb your no's!!

And the last one: There!
So we are walking around the building complex one evening. We spot a little kitten.
Me: Yohaan, where's the kitty?
Y: Points out to her and says ''there''.
Me: Yohaan, where's the car?
Y: Points to a car parked nearby and says 'there'.
SO far so good but then,
Me: Yohaan, where's daddy? (hoping he will think and say something cutesy-original from his vocab baby bank)
Y: Points out to the building secutiry guard and says 'there'...!!
Oh Dear....look what my son believes in!

A New Year and New Beginings...

2010-03-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

So I have been absent too long from this blog. Missed it but had no time for it. Still dont, as a matter of fact. But just wanted to touch base with my two and a half readers. And to send out prayers and wishes that this year treats all of us well. I have had to handle a lot of changes in the first quarter already. For example, moving from 2500sq/ft to a 1000sq/ft living area with barely any storage. But ah, a nice kitchen! So all's good. It is by far the most challenging circumstance for a busy housewife like me who is very house proud and who loves to cook! But never mind, we will bounce back.

Through all this recession induced downsizing, moving and changes etc, Yohaan has grown leaps and bounds. I sometimes try and think back even six months and recall him as a baby! I draw a blank! He is so big and naughty and cheerful and full of beans...he walks and talks and is ever so curious. I am losing all my pregnancy weight just trying to keep him out of mischief! It is totally exhausting. I preferred him as a little baby, not a toddler. He is way too quick and agile for my tired bones...lol.

Another adjustment which I think is basically good for an impulsive person like me is that I have to watch out for our finances. No more walking in to just about any store and picking up whatever took my fancy. My pottery-barn like shopping trips and existance has come to a grinding halt much to hubster's glee! Sigh... he is immensly enjoying seeing me trying to control my spending sprees and visits to the malls. I am managing quite fine, thank you very much. I am also actually okay with the idea of not having any money (yet,for now) given generously by hubster every week to spend whichever way I thought best. I dont have a car, so dont go out. Really, it is as simple as that! Dont know why did I not try it earlier. Hmmm.

Our new flat is quite nice. Brand new and supremely child friendly. Lots of greenery, play area, clean, safe and majority of the residents are young families. I think Yohaan will make lots of friends here. I see so many toddlers playing around our complex. Good good.

Setting up this new place is a horror story now. Of all the times, I have been hit by acute lazy-bones attack and one month on, we are still living like pigs! Chaos reigns supreme and I dont know when will it all get okay. Hubster has begged, pleaded, cajoled, threatened me to get the house in shape but it seems I am quite happy to be living out of half opened cartons and crates.

There is lots to tell but now is not the time. Please tell me, I will one day get some sense in to my dumb head and do all that is needed to be done! I am running out of options now!

Am back!!

2010-02-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

Wooohoooo! Am back to civilization, my dear two and a half readers. Much to say and share but going to be frightfuly busy for atleast two weeks so am not sure when can I blog....thanks for checking me out while I was gone!! Muah muah...

H

It's official and it's good.

2009-11-25T00:42:00.000-08:00

...our moving in to a new season of life that is. Today is husbter's last day at work. Contrary to what I assumed, he went off with a happy frame of mind. It was good while it lasted, this work of his but he is leaving at just the right time because his senior management had started using him a lot for fire fighting and basically making him a scapegoat to get out of nasty situations. So hubster is actually relieved that he is out! God does have perfect timing!

In another news. I and Yohaan are going to go away to India (yes again!) for the time being or atleast untill a new job and an appartment is found for us to resume our family programming. Setting up shop in Sharjah would'nt have served any purpose except to add to our outgoings. so we decided to cut down by just splitting up and waiting for things to turn around. You might want to ask us as to why dont we just go back to our home country? Well, we have a huge house loan on our heads. Mortgage has to paid. And even though, Indian companies do pay well it wont be enough to pay off our housing loans. We are otherwise debt free but then this mortgage is a mother of all mortgages! Student loans, car loans, credit card loans all have been paid and put to rest. As a principle, hubster uses his credit card only under extreme emergencies, like if he is abroad and needs to shell out some local cash. He owns only one and that is hardly ever used. I dont own one and never have. I am mortally scared of loans and debts. Anyhow, I will be away for Christmas with my family while husbter will be here in Dubai looking out for jobs, appartments etc. Basically get started on all this and then we hope to re-join him. Soon! I hope!

I was very resistant to the idea of being away from him because I am one of those clingy wives. I can infact live in poverty but if husbter's job demands = more money=more hours away from home, that is not acceptable! As a corporate lawyer, he is anyways always in demand. It can be a killer but we try not to join the rat race and live simple. Although it is important to husbter to derive full job satisfaction more than money, he has somehow gotten sucked in to the corporate culture. Somewhere along the line he would like to leave all this and become a college teacher, teaching law to young students. He is passionate about law. I am happy with whatever he chooses to do with his career. All we want is that daddy should be home at a decent time! So me agreeing to go away is nothing short of a miracle which I believe only God could achieve! I hate going to India. For several personal reasons. But this time, God has given me the grace to be gracious and accept His will. And I know there is blessing in obeying his commands.

We do hope to be back soon. And guess what? I am such a typical woman. I am so excited about the prospect of setting up a new home yet again! In the last four years of being married and moving twice , I have learnt much in homemaking skills. I am looking forward to do up our new house. I know that Jesus has already marked it for us! Whether it is an appartment or a villa or a studio or whatever I am so going to enjoy decorating it, personalising it and making it a home! Infact, whenever I feel even slightly down (which is rare) with our current situation, I start day dreaming about our new place and it is an instant pick up for me! My long suffering hubster has been giving me ''oh no'' looks. But who cares. What's a woman got to do after all ! It will be like how we got married and moved here in the middle east to set up home. Yes!

We have witnessed some mighty miracles yesterday in answer to our prayers....be patient, all will be revealed in due course. We are seeing first hand how God restores and provides! Never doubt his goodness and faithfulness. When the time is right, I shall do a post on it here. It will be a mighty testimony and I hope many shall be blessed and encouraged by our story! What an adventure...all for His purposes and glory.

So it's all good. I will be spending a winter in North India after three or four years and that is truly making me happy. I luuuurve the cold season. And that prospect is keeping me happy. Yohaan's first harsh winter too. Lets see how he takes it. Grandpa and grandma are again going bersek preparing for our arrival. Goodness, he is again in for some serious pampering that boy!
Christmas is almost here! You guys have a lovely winter holidays and be well. I shall be around.

To Love and to Cherish

2009-11-20T08:16:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading an excellent book "What a husband needs from his wife'', by Melanie Chitwood. Full of practical advise and encouragement based on the Bible, I devoured this book. I have been married for nearly four years now and there are many times when I fail in my own eyes when I introspect about my role as a wife to hubster. He is an easy going, lovable man. Which makes it rather easy for anyone to like him and respect him. He is thirty three but much mature than his years. On the other hand I am not an easy person to figure out in the first place. Well, that's just me I guess. And so I get these self-doubting attacks...I often find myself wondering if I am a good wife to him. So this book landed in my hands at a good time because lately I have been again assailed by such thoughts. It can be a real pain let me be honest. Hubster is a man of few words , so any affirmation I am seeking from him isn't likely to come by easily, forget romantically.

This book really challenged me. It made me question a lot of issues we have between us as a married couple. Some small, some big but nothing alarming. Yet. I do honestly believe after reading this book that any sense of value, affirmation,eddification and appreciation that I seek from him has to first come from my faith in Christ. He is my ultimate groom and if I release my husband and my marriage in to His capable hands, I will derive even greater pleasure from being married to the man I call my husband. In my Father's eyes, I am precious and much valued. But there are times when lack of recognition and appreciation from hubster can bring me down. I sometimes long for him to say something kind/nice/appreciative-just to me, for me. He is not hard to please, but even if he is pleased with me, he wont affirm. I wonder how many wives,even though happliy married like me feel this way!

So when I went to church this morning, I asked God to help me accept hubster's ways. As well as to open his heart and eyes to this need of mine. Words have tremendous power over me. Verbal and written. I prayed that God would enable my husband to fulfill that need of mine. And no, he does'nt read my blog, so he is not gonna know!! I tried to do what this book suggests. Do not nag, do not demand, do not beg and plead, do not threaten...just release him and see how God enables the changes we want to see in our spouses. I kindof liked the idea. Now I am going to wait and watch in the next few days,weeks or even years. You never know, he may just thrill me by writing a book or a song on how brilliant his wife is!! Very funny, hah!

Things people do

2009-11-17T23:53:00.000-08:00

I follow the blog of an orthodox Jewish woman . I do enjoy her views on marriage, parenting and home making. I tend to agree with almost all her views inspite of having very different religious beliefs. She is also a first time mother and doing a good job. Earlier in the year she gave birth to her beautiful baby and then announced it on her blog. She then mentioned as to how she refused all help and visitors for a few weeks, opting to be alone and be with just her husband and the baby. She actually took that step as a concious decision. It was upon reading this that it struck me how this whole stuff can become a huge deal!

In the Indian culture people take pride in being involved in each other's lives. Period. So issues like privacy, individuality, choices, options and other such things dont figure high on anyone's list. I, personally have no hang ups either. Maybe because of my conditioning. I dont get offended when someone wants to enter my ''space'' and be a part of it. Which makes me think why wouldn't a new mother want all the help offered? What made this lady refuse people who were excitedly wanting to be a part of this momentous occasion? Agreed, after like hours of mindless labour pains and a public display of your body parts anyone would want to shut down. I have given birth and I know how helpless that feeling can be. Basically, you are at someone else's mercy who will cut you up, talk about the traffic scene with his/her colleagues over your open belly while you despeately hope that they can get the baby out safely and not leave a knife behing in your guts! And then there is mind numbing pain of every possible kind.

However, once I am fine and gone home, I would love to have friendly folks around. No incessant chatter is required but yes, a kind helping hand is such a boon. Sometimes, I wonder if some women, who put up a stoic brave, private, closed up front actually do so because they are too proud to be otherwise. I see nothing wrong in being vulnareble. In admitting you need help. Ofcourse, many people can have high thresholds of pain, both physical and mental, but the point is, I would feel sad if I push someone away when they want to show their joy and excitement by being around. There will be many moments when the new parents can be alone and soak up the awesome changes a baby brings. There will be no damages done if we let in people in to our lives briefly to share our pain and joy, alike.

Honestly, I cannot imagine saying no to anyone at such moments! I have had it happen to me. When we lived in London, a friend from church gave birth and promptly asked all of us not to visit-at all. Leave her alone! I was seriously aghast! How? Why? What does it achieve except maybe alienate friends who may be from other cultures! As christians , we have a Biblical and God given duty to be AVAILABLE...at all times. To invest in reationships! To be welcoming! Yes, our priority is first towards God and then our family. Then to the church and the community but having said that, I dont feel that new mothers should try and do it all by themselves! Yes, we all manage, eventually. Nobody has the time,energy or the inclination to hang around a new mom-baby for long anyways! But we should take our blessings and count ourselves lucky if we have people showing love and offering care. Becoming a new mother can be and is often an intensly isolating experience. It has been for me for sure! But then I truly believe that it can be a great way of reaching out to people for God! We are entitled to our full rest and recuperation but I imagine becoming a mother ought to make me even more sensitive about causing possible hurt and bewilderment to people around me. What do you ,dear readers, think?

Yohaan-what's in a name? A lot I say!

2009-11-16T12:49:00.000-08:00

This post is in response to a reader's question. She wanted to know the meaning/origins of Yohaan's name.

@Hirva: I am glad you liked my son's name. It is primarily a dutch name but has similarities in Arabic/urdu and Hindi pronounciations. It is a derivative of John and means "God has answered'' or "God has blessed'' or even "God has heard''. In Urdu and Hindi it is pronounced as ''Youhanna''. Some people spell it as Johaan with J silent.

We kept this name for him because I concieved him after much prayers and a longgg wait! He is our miracle baby!

Congratulations on becoming a mommy. Hope you are enjoying it!

Cheers,
harshika
Mommy to Yohaan.

Shaken not stirred...

2009-11-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

My life is a big pot of stuff happening. Like huge stuff. I have been away from my blog for too long again but then I always have ''huge reasons''. No I am not preggers. No nobody has died. Only, my dear hubster is on the brink of losing his job. The company he works for is closing operations after months of fire fighting on every possible front. Which essentialy means that we have to downsize our lifestyle drastically. Starting with giving up our lovely house on lease and moving to Sharjah in to a small ,small, small apartment. There is no way we can afford the mortgage here or for that matter even maintain the current lifestyle. Then hubster has to start looking for a new job pronto.

And how have we taken all this? Well, not too bad to be honest. Our world has turned upside down in a just a couple of days with us having no idea as to when or how our next pay check will come in. But guess what? It is alright. Absolutely okay. We dont have any cash reserves or savings. Although we do have our usual pension plans and life policies intact. So we are literally down. But not out. All I can think of right now is that amidst all this chaos, my Lord reigns supreme. He gives, He takes, Blessed be His name. Tonight we had a lovely spread for dinner. Homecooked. Chicken 65, Smabhar, Pumpkin-erishery, brown rice and mixed greens with baby potatoes. And I am thankful for the Lord's abundance. Earlier in the day, Yohaan choked on a stray piece of chopped onion he found on the floor. He puked his guts out, cried buckets and was back to his ''compulsive'' giggling and baby talk. I am thankful for his safety. Hubster is being brave, hopeful, humble, hardworking and ethical. Taking a stand to do right at the workplace in the face of panic and disbelief. He is able to encourage and uplift many colleagues who have collapsed emotionaly and mentally from the stress of the upcoming lay off's. I am thankful that he is able to do so with the help of his Lord.

We have decided to celebrate Yohaan's first birthday in this house and move in the immediate coming week. We have found an apartment for which rent has been untill may'10!! What a miracle! Hubster's brother has paid for it. And deferred the rent for us indefinetly. See!! Doesn't this all have God's hand of favour? Imagine, us paying our mortgage plus a rent! Two days ago, a lady arrived from India. We knew her as my former maid's friend. She came to us and struck a deal. She will work for us free if we give her a room and meals. We readily agreed because anyways we have an extra bedroom. So we dont need to pay her a salary, she does a good job keeping my house and cooking for us. In the meanwhile she will look around for part time work. How can I complain or whine about anything? It may seem there is total mayhem and time is running out but I am still and hearing God's reassurance. Not to be fearful. He will work out everything for us-for our good!

As hubster is fire fighting in every possible manner, I am just thankful that I have led an abundant life so far. Like Paul of the Bible, I have learnt to be content in plenty and in want. My God supplies everything. A laid off colleague of hubster's gave us a big can of formula and a pack of diapers which she wont be able to carry back to Philipines. What a coincidence that both brands turned out to be exactly what Yohaan happens to use! The mind boggles everyday as to how faithful God is! When we were engaged and newly married we had nothing. Just our bag full of clothes and our degree certificates. Hubster did well. We became parents and life was a bit too smooth. Now, time for those hard but invaluable lessons to begin! Bring it on, I say.

And life returns to normalcy

2009-10-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

For five weeks I was away from home. It was not a pleasant holiday let me tell you dear faithful readers. But that is just me, always cringing when it comes to visiting my hometown. So I wont even talk about that here. For Yohaan though, it was mother of all holidays. He had such a blast that I am afraid my son wont ever develop a love for the land his parents call home now. His time spent at my parent's house was the stuff an ideal holiday ought to be. The kinds where you win hearts, become a star and everyone fawns over you as if you are the bestest baby in the world! His grandparents and their huge team at home ensured that Yohaan goes bersek freaking out. So there were dogs, cats, monkeys, goats, chicken and even a roadside show of elephants on their way to a temple! Can you just imagine what this boy must have experienced?

From the time we landed at Delhi till his very last day, there was simply too much to take in and I was afraid his little baby brain will explode with excitement. Friends, neighbours, aunties, uncles, cousins of all shapes and sizes and our man reigned supreme! Yes it was hot. There were mosquitoes. There was loads of power cuts. There was way too much noise all the time. Yohaan lapped it all. A cousin lent us his daughter's walker and our man was on a mission. Here- there -everywhere. He explored his nana's big house to his hearts content probably sensing that mama would have no say. So he did all that he wanted to. One day it was bits of newspaper in his diaper, another day a full ant! How did he manage to eat such lovely stuff, I have no idea because the brat would not come to me at all. He was too busy with the maids, their children and the neighbours kids. He would ride piggy back all over. Nana and nani ofcourse looked on fondly as their only grandchild made memories!

I am so thankful that he wan't sick even one day and his germ quotient is higher after this trip, thus revving up his immunity. In Dubai, his life is rather sterile. In India there's only so much dirt one can avoid and it works best for children if they are exposed to it early on. Especially brats from Dubai! He ate well, slept well and played hard. His being so busy and not needing me around at all, gave me a bit too much of rest and I have come back totally disoriented. I did not have to worry about dirty diapers, meal times and sometimes even nap times because there were simply too many volunteers. I just sat simling very proudly that my baby is such a social being and seems to love having a good time! Way to go darling! Mamma is super thrilled that you are such a son of the soil. LOLLLLL . I am indeed proud that you loved India so much! I promise we will will take you there as often as we can.

Everyone knows I love shopping. But this time the unthinkable happened. I didnt shop for myself at all! I did get gifts which made me happy. However, I shopped for our house. Picked up some lovely linen and antique brass ware. Also, some crafty stuff for Yohaan's room and first birthday which is next month and I have to get going on getting it all ready. I am still trying to visualise as to where I am going to use all the yummy stuff I bought....as and when I arrange it all I shall post pics.

Anyways, I am home. How I missed it. My plants, my garden, my bed, my room, my friends and my life in Dubai. Everytime I leave Dubai, I realise how much I enjoy living here. For me, this city totally rocks. And I have come back to awesome weather! Winter is on it's way and I am so excited. I have some lovely recipes that I want to cook. And make some changes around the house...settle in and begin to enjoy my life once again. One darling reader made my day by welcoming me back! Thank you http://homecooked.wordpress.com/ . I am so gonna try those coconut Macaroons for Yohaan's birthday by the way.

*Posts and skips away happily*

And am BACK|!!

2009-10-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

Oh, I cannot even begin to describe how terribly happy am I to be back home! Five weeks of forced vacationing, with no heart or soul in it, I just about collapsed with the sheer effort to hang in there. I and Yohaan arrived from India a few hours ago. My house..... the smells, the colours which are so me, my plants, my garden, my kitchen and the awesome spices I stock...my bed, my room...I am certainly getting old. Change overwhelms me now. I could not blog thanks to the pathetic connectivity at most places. But that's ok. I just let all my thoughts float around in my head till we would be back. But as of now it is late and I need to go facebook.

Dear two and half readers, thanks for faithfuly checking on me. I love ya'all....I shall be back with some good south asian masala soon.

Muah muah.

H

Blah...

2009-09-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

OK folks so I am certifiably the laziest blogger around. Cue for applause. Thank you, thank you.

I am acutely conscious of the promise I made of putting up some pictures of my revamped bedroom...yes, I know I havent done it. Yet. But. It. Will. Be. Done. As usual, my life has been a series of crisis this whole week. It left me feeling blah. Let me tell you all about it.

1. Yohaan fell again...from our bed this time. Because our man started crawling. Just like that. Without giving me any warning. I was not pleased at this unexpected development. I registered my protest with him while I tried to comfort him out of the shock and most likely some baby-ego bruising upon landing 'dah' on the floor. Thankfuly he is alive an kicking at that!

2. The part time maid of mine happens to be from Sri Lanka....ah, that beautiful island, have been dreaming of a holiday there since ages. All that lovely local handicraft shopping...awesome spicy food...and now no security threat...but I digress. So well, this lady has serious language issues with me. She barely speaks any English and I dont speak Singhalese. So madam has cleverly started dodging my instructions all the while pretending not to understand! Tomorow will be her last day. Sigh. Need I say more then?

3. On 5th Sept, we are going away to India for some kind of a vacation. In a fit of post-partum emotions , I promised Yohaan's maternal grandparents that I would bring him to visit them every six months untill he starts school. Now people who are close to me know that I dislike 'frequent' travel and most certainly hate my hometown. What can I say, we are patriotic- not. I have been away from India too long now and it's physical discomforts I cannot handle. Must be purely an age thingy. I have not started my packing yet and am hoping that by doing so I can postpone the finality of the departure a bit. My despair knows no bounds. I hate to be away from hubster so long, I hate immigration q's at the New Delhi airport...all in that order. I miss hubster. I dont get along with my dad after two and a half days and the 'noise' drives me mad. But that is because I live in an area which is practically a ghost town. Even the birds chirping could frighten me. We will be gone for forty days. Blogging? I dont know. Dont ask. How is this a crisis? Dont know. It is. Dont ask.

4. Invited a couple of European neighbours for what was supposed to be a proper Indian dinner party over the weekend. Food cooked by your's truly with great abandonment and excitement. The dinner table laid out beautifuly with marigold, brown and gold theme. Indian diyas in brass, flowers, the works. But, went overboard with the spices and chillies in the starters. Lets just say, some guests were too polite. So they waited , left and must have combusted in the comfort of their own homes. Dont ask.

5. I shopped for the usual gifts to carry home. They exceed my baggage allowance. Now I and Yohaan might have to travel with only our underwear. In Yohaan's case maybe just a few diapers. There is space for nothing else. Dont ask.

6. Hubster travelling to India, London, America all by himself. Without me. Albeit for work, but what the heck! I dont dislike travelling so much and what's he gonna do with so many airmiles? I find this most dodgy. If he wants to leave behind Yohaan I understand because Yohaan is naughty now. Me? Do ask. Him.

7. At another dinner party again over the same weekend, an annoying -very-old-man thought I am forty years old. That is eight years too much. First he is rude enough to think I am that old then has the cheek to say it to my face. I am not 'ageist', but dont take kindly to being considered older than strictly neccessary. I have since then been doing a lot of 'asking' the hubster ''baby do I really look so old?''. Hubster thinks it is one of those trick questions women ask men eg ''baby am I fat/do I look fat in this dress?'' So he has been vehemently denying everything. Good man that way!

OK nuff said. A few other things happened. But I just want to avoid thinking of all that now. Because OK let me admit it, inspite of everything my week was good too. Yohaan started crawling, grab and climbing up, saying mama (to no one in particular including the gardener) and loved his first bite of fish puree!!! I am like totally awwwwwwww. That gorgeous boy is after my own heart!

And thus the blah week ended.

M.I.A.-Missing In Action

2009-08-20T01:22:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy week but then which one isn't! I have not been able to blog as much as I would like to. Hubster was away for business , Yohaan is becoming naughtier by the day, wait a sec, is naughtier even a word? Well anyway, and I have a house guest. Hubster's cousin brother staying with us for two months. He is a cool guest, very low maintenance. Doesn't need anythingl...and very helpful to have around. He is great with babies even ones as naughty as Yohaan.

So what have I been up to. Actually quite a bit. I have now started my 'Garden' project. I am slowly but surely working on it and preparing it for the next few months. I want it to be nice and pretty by the time Yohaan's first birthday rolls around. We are planning a garden party for him. So I have been surfing the net like mad looking for ideas but then gardening in this desert heat is a killer and so the progress is slow. I shall post before and after pics.

It is August already! Normally, I do a makeover/changeover mid year throughout my house. This year is a different story. I barely manage to breathe ever since I became a mamma! I have ideas and more ideas bursting in my head about the changes I want to bring in my interiors but am hard pressed for time and money both. Hubster has taken a salary cut and so things are tight. It seems everything must wait! While that is a sensible thing to do (I guess) my frustration knows no bounds when I have to supress my creativity. I am dying to do stuff. So tomorrow I shall be posting pictures of our bedroom. I have not changed the curtains etc, and have just recycled old linen but have managed to somewhat achieve the look I wanted. It looks serene, pretty and calm. The theme continues to be pistachio green and dark wood. I wish though, that my garden would look pretty too so I could enjoy a view from my bedroom window which looks out to the garden below. Never mind, we will get there. So please return for some refreshing pics and updates tomorrow.

Peace.

Birthdays are no big deal....

2009-08-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

My birthday came and went. I turned thrity two. Nothing happened. My memories of all pre-marriage birthdays are warm, love filled and definitly prezzies filled. My parents went to great extents to make each of our birthdays special, that is, of mine and my brother's. There would be a big fat family get together with amazing food,music and much merry making. My dad especially would be in his elements organising a special evening. Mom would ensure new clothes, candies and treats for school mates and much pampering. Uncles,aunts and cousins would outdo each other gifting me with all that was on my wish list.

Then marriage happened to a man in whose family birthdays are no big deal. That is a sad fact which I am still not very happy about. As it is, his family is extremely low keyed on every front and they dont do emotions at all. Being expressive is missing in the family genetic makeup and is the extreme opposite of my own family. I long to be accepted and fussed over as any daughter in law would expect. Well, thats not gonna happen here. So before I got married I think hubster made some effort in all that flush of luuurve. Now that we are married and officially hassled most of the time because of a baby, he didnt bother making it special. He did take me out for dinner. It was a rushed, last minute crazy affair. Yohaan had been very difficult the whole day and by the time it was evening I was tired, fedup and unwilling to go anywhere. Friends descended upon us bearing flowers and stuff so we kind of had to take them somewhere. Let's just say I couldn't wait for the evening to get over. Thats it. I will remember this birthday for being the saddest of my entire thrity two years. Only blessing? I am a mommy!

My mom called from India and sensed my sadness. I found it very difficult to hold back my tears... The sense of aniticipation which I used to have the whole week. How carefuly I would make my gift wish list confident that my family would grant it. All my favourite food which the cook would be instructed to make. The clothes shopping, the guest list....the flowers, the music and at the end of it all again a strange kind of excitement of looking forward to the next birthday already!

My mom kept telling me to do the same for Yohaan. Celebrate his life. Make each birthday a big memory. Let him know how truly special every year of his life is. And that is exactly what I plan to do. I am not letting my boy's birthdays pass by un-noticed. It may take a lot on my part to get hubster involved and excited. His first birthday will be truly special. And I dont mean expensive-special. Just special, like the way it used to be for me. Full of love, laughter and family and friends I loved.

Dying to be a momma

2009-07-21T03:20:00.001-07:00

Again that is! The whole world knows that I adore kids of all shapes and sizes. I was born to be a momma. Now you know it too my dear two and half readers! Off late inspite of my ''the spirit is willing but the flesh is week'' state, I have been pondering upon thoughts of having another baby. I have been thinking thoughts of seducing hubster too in to the baby making business but more of that later. As of now, my body is simply not ready for another c-sec. Owing to my diabetes I have to be careful....but these thoughts take me back to the time when Yohaan was admitted to the hospital for a week this May.

Yohaan was in ward number three and one morning Abdullah walked in. All of three and half years, in his jammies, clutching an old ragged bunny, nose running and with a self important swagger. I could immediately see from his features that he had Downs Syndrome. He walked up to Yohaan's bed and smiled at him. Pointed out to him and informed me that Yo was a ''baby'' . And in that instant my heart broke. I fell in love. As I smiled back I looked around to check who were his parents. Nobody. There was a nurse rushing along with a bottle of milk and she came in and sat next to me. She told me Abdullah is an abandoned child. He was left at this hospital gates when he was just a few days old and now the ''palace'' owns him. I cringed at the use of the term but what she really meant was that the ''palace'' would take full responsibility of bringing him up. The ''palace'' in Dubai means, the ruler and his administration. It is a loosely used term to refer to the government sometimes since we have monarchy here. There was now a designated palace official who would be incharge of Abdullah's well being. That's good I thought. At least he wont be languishing on the streets...unlike milions of children in my own home country, India.

Abdullah had been admitted for mild pneumonia. He was having problems breathing but one look at him and you couldn't say! He was here, there, everywhere. Sometimes he would come to me and demand to sit in my lap, sometimes he would wander off to yet another parent in the ward. Whomever he went to, he won hearts. So openly affectionate and expressive. He took a great liking to Yohaan for some reason and wanted to play with him but ofcourse had to be kept away due to the risk of infection. One day he brought all his toys and dumped them on Yohaan's bed! Hubster tried to spend some time with him too. Whenever the nurses were too busy to keep an eye on him, he would be put in his crib with all the railing bars pulled up. Abdullah would then give hubster pleading looks to be let out...much like a little puppy! But we could see he was more comfortable with women care givers and mothers around rather than men, which made me feel better because clearly this child is being safeguarded well.

We left the hospital after five days. I tried to make inquiries if there was any possibilities of adopting this adorable little fella. The nurses informed us rather abruptly that it was not allowed, not even to Muslim expats. I was deeply disappointed because I know, hubster would adopt Abdullah in a wink! We came home but till date, we think of Abdullah and even miss him. He would make such a loving big brother to my little Yohaan. In those brief five days he left such a deep impression on us both. Inspite of his special needs, Abdullah's spirit has to be seen to believe. Happy and fun loving, full of joy and life! I hope one day, Yohaan too would grow up to be like that special child...

Achy Breaky Bones

2009-07-21T02:36:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I have no ideas bursting in my head to blog about. My days and nights often pass off in a blur and if I get time to even go to the loo I consider it a good day! So here I was, sitting on the toilet seat trying to take a quick leak with (who else) Yohaan also sitting in my lap. When I was expecting him nobody told me about this. This, that I may have to often lug the kid in to the toilet because somewhere between sitting up and trying to crawl babies can harm themselves quite happily and without a care in the world. Least of all without any thoughts for the poor,hapless parents! Yohaan is fortunately or unfortunately, no different from such babies. Which means that just as my bladder is bursting I spot him concentrating on trying to maneuver himself out of his bouncer on to the floor with an almost disastrous potential to kill himself...maybe...hmm, I think I am exagerating here. But you do get the drift, eh? I give up the battle and pick him up.

Our time in the toliet is action packed. With one hand I am trying to get my jeans unbuttoned, hold on to him. Sit down and hold on to him. He cranes around, lunges for everything he thinks he can chew on and I hold on to him. He tries to peer behind me when he hears some sound from within the toliet bowl and I hold on to him. He stiffens himself with some vague excitement when I use the flush and I hold on to him. I wipe myself, wash my hands while he bends over completely to lean in to the basin, I hold on to him. After much struggling we come out with my jeans pooling near my feet, I hope and pray nobody rings the bell and I dont trip! I put him down again in his bouncer and our man lets out a huge wail..waaahhhh....wt..? Well, mama not only cut short the adventures in the toliet she also put him back in his boring old seat, that is simply not on in his agenda for the day. *sigh* Hang on! I gotta pull back my darned jeans Kid! I dont intend letting any neighbour of mine have a free for all view of my backside!

Which takes me to the next problem. Why did nobody warn me that after the baby comes, every body joint would ache! And ache like -endlessly. My elbows and wrists are gone! Bummed! From lugging Yohaan around. For some women it is their backs...for me it is my hands. I have googled it and the wise internet tells me that I gotta live with it till he outgrows the need to be held so often. It has put me in a very bad mood. I stare at him ever so often now willing him to grow up fast, like really fast! Things have gotten so desperate lately that I find myself hoping for visitors to drop in and hold him for some time. We go to the malls, resturants, parks I am more than happy to offer him to perfect strangers. Anybody and everybody is free to carry my child. I shall not discriminate. Americans, Phillipnos, Pakistanis, SriLankans, Indians, Norwegians, Germans, old, young,men,women,children, teenagers, maids,drivers, CEO's, other mommas and daddies...anybody, just about anybody is free to hold my child. I will not even cry kidnap! Look here now, I dont resent this. I am enjoying being a mommy a bit too much but my body isn't cooperating and I need a break. My wrists are gonna get carpel tunnel, my elbows good for nothing, my knucles can forget about kneading any flour for making chapatis etc. I have had the baby so I better handle him yeah? Noooo. I need a human sling, NOW!

In return for services rendered, I shall do my bit. Since I am a socially concious citizen, I shall accost all mothers to be and warn them about these two issues. Woman, once you have a baby, you need to kiss goodbye to peeing in private and your body will make you familair with joints you didnt even know existed pre-pregnancy! There, that should do no? Now tell me readers, who amongst you is willing to volunteer? Pretty please?

Life's simple peasures

2009-07-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

This evening we have been asked out to dinner by hubster's kind-of -''client''. He is going through a bitter divorce and needs my hubster's professional advise. Although, hubster has been giving that already, in plenty, I am touched that he has included me and Yohaan also in the invitation. I am sure there is a lot he needs to unload and his lawyer's wife and kid might be getting in his way. But who am I to refuse a chance to dine out and that too at a stylish place. My life is pretty much home bound these days. I luuurve going out. If I had a choice, I would take up a room in a mall around town. Even if I am dead beat tired, I still don't mind going out. Hubster tends to like being home. Not me. Gimme an outing any time of the day and I am your girl. Absolute city girl.

The evening promises to be nice mainly because we will be dining at a new Indian joint at a mall close by. It specialises in doing Tandoori cuisine which is a personal favourite. I totally dig kebabs and rotis. Yummy. In fact, I cant make them so well at home much to my dismay. So am always looking forward to eat it at a proper Mughlai restaurant.

And how can a girl not talk about the clothes she plans to wear? I am planning to wear a red south cotton saree with a black and gold border. I got it this time from India and have been waiting for a chance to wear it. Agreed, with a baby it might be challenging handling it all, but am determined to lead a normal life. Will have to rope in hubster though, to help me drape it nicely. Pre-pregnancy I used to wear a saree only with high heels but I think that has to be permanently abandoned now in favour of some sensible flats. I do have a lovely one in maroon and black actually , which I think will team up well with the saree. Hubster will no doubt think, I am overdressed because anything other than jeans for him is over doing it. He seems to think mommies should be in the jeans-over sized shirts uniform all the time. I don't agree because with 24/7 of poo, booger, pukey, sleeplessness, baby talk and baby tantrums, a mommy needs a break and grab whatever piece of joy comes her way. For me it is an outing and the anticipation of dressing up. And that, is my simple pleasure folks!

Happy to be Home!

2009-07-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

So it will be almost a week on Sunday without a maid and today marked a week with me taking over all my household chores. Even though the maid-from-hell left for India on Sunday, she went on strike on Thurs, which basically means she refused to do any work from that day on. Fine, I said and plunged headlong in to all things domestic. I mentioned earlier, we have had a crazy week but hey, I survived to tell the tale.

My mother who has domestic assistants galore back in India to manage her house, has been feeling very sorry for me. I understand her concern, but now I am a wee bit irritated. It's not like I am the only woman in the world having to manage my house alone! Far from it infact. I call her every morning and if I can't, she will call me instead and so we talk everyday,mother and I. We are best friends too. Which means I tell her everything. But that also means I am foolish because there are some things moms needn't know! Else they go crazy on you. In my case, mother decides to throw a pity party on my behalf. So she will rant and moan about how much her baby is having to handle. It is annoying. It is discouraging and above all tiring. I have told her that it is my house, my husband and my baby and errr, my garden too. So it is a pleasure looking after all of these. No issues.

Seven years ago when me and hubster met, we decided that once we got married, I would stay home and more so after a baby. We were both very sure and comfortable with the whole idea. We had already decided that we would downsize our lifestyle but would essentially live on his income. I would look after our house and he would go hunting and gathering. I was infact very grateful that he didn't assign me extra worth only upon getting a job outside or working on a career. He was delighted that I chose to stay home and serve our home and us. We as a husband and wife team, consider it an invaluable investement towards making a comfortable and a harmonious home life.

It gives me a deep satisfaction when he wakes up in the morning and looks forward to starting his day with clean and ironed clothes. He realises the value of freshly brewed coffee followed by a hearty Indian breakfast. He still thanks me everyday, even after so many years being together. And my heart sings! I love to make him happy, it is so easy! I have such a sense of accomplishment when a day's work is done as I look around. The house is sparkling, the bathrooms squeaky clean, beds made, Yohaan's food pureed for the day, hubster's lunch packed, laundry folded and as evening falls heavenly smells from my kitchen remind me that hubster must be on his way home. I love to cook. It is a stress buster for me and no matter how tired I might be, I make it a point to cook something nice for ourseleves because dinner is the only meal we have together. Although I am a control freak, with Yohaan's arrival I have learnt to let go a lot. So yes we dont follow a strict schedule for the day, we have plenty of fluidity to our routine. That means if the guest bathroom is not cleaned by mid noon so be it. If the plants have not been watered for the day, never mind. If Yohaan has not had his quota of fruits, no problem, I will give him an extra feed from me, which is better anyways. The point is we have fun. We are a team and above all as my blog title suggests, we are happy to be home!

I read so many blogs by women who talk endlessly about the virtues of being a stay home mom or a working one. Personally, it has never been an issue with me. I am higly educated with a profesional degree. Prior to getting married and two years in to marriage, I worked for some of the best known companies in the world. I have travelled a lot , I am well read and I have made my own money, plenty of it. It is a different matter that I blew away my money too...lol... anyhow, now I am at a stage in life about which I used to dream as a young girl. I have all that I wanted. A loving husband, a baby and a lovely home. Education and a job and travelling and living wild happened rather in an unplanned manner. It just happened to me. But all along I knew where I wanted to be and I am there!

Frankly I dont even understand why would anyone find it a point of contention-this stay home vs working woman thingy. Isn't it more about the freedom to choose? As women dont we get to choose? Although in my case, it helps that I am a christian so taking certain decisions becomes a lot more easier. I dont have the usual worldly pressures to conform, to seek after a career, wealth,prosperity and status. The Bible encourages us women to seek our fullfilment and identity as home makers and child rearers. I have no agenda. I have no urgent goals to achieve while working for outsiders and I am my own master. I decide when I get up for the day, what I wear, when I take a break or even take the whole day off!! For me it's a no brainer. And I do realise that it must be so for many women on the other side of the fence. I am sure they would find my existence mundane to the point of death-by-boredom. Well anyways, I would rather die peacefuly on my couch rather than the office cubicle! All I am saying is that I am happy with my choices which is what is true liberation and peace. I am indeed very happy-to-be-home!

Done for the day!

2009-07-08T13:44:00.001-07:00

Today has been a mad mad day! It is 1.00 a.m and I have only just finished my chores for the day. Hubster has invited over a childhood friend from Oman who will be staying over the weekend. My house is like that....always full of visiting guests. Which we don't mind but now is not the best of times. Anyhow, we got a major load of grocery done and I am feeling better that my pantry is well stocked for all the meals. I am anal about hospitality. It's got to be done supremely well, else nothing at all.

But the main reason why I had a mad day was that our man, Yohaan, fell from a three feet height head down, while I was out watering the garden. I wanted to get a better grip on him and so sat him down on the garden table. But as I did so, suddenly my right arm froze and I felt a sharp shooting pain go up to my neck. Something like a pulled hamstring muscle. In that split second, Yohaan slipped from my grip and went headlong to the ground. It happened so fast I didn't even get a chance to break his fall. He was not hurt but very very shocked and bawled! But amazingly enough, he stopped crying in less than a minute and was soon cooing away at the birds. I hugged him tight for several minutes, imagining the worst! Washed his face, gave him some cool melon juice and changed his diaper. Our man was good to go. Called the hubster and broke down....was shouted at by him but overall peace and calm soon returned because Yohaan was not hurt. It could have been nasty...only God's mercy saved him.

My right elbow muscle has been in agonising pain now since ten days. I feel it is because of lifting our man. Like how some new moms develop back ache etc, mine is the right arm and am not able to do pretty much anything. Anyways, like I said it is late now and I have only just finished putting away the grocery, clearing out the fridge , washing the dishes and marinating the meat. My day was redeemed however by hubster's comment: ''babe, you have lost a lot of weight''. I know he exaggerated a bit because I haven't lost a lot of weight but lets just say ever since the maid left, I am the new slave and hence it shows!!

My Little Trooper

2009-07-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

....Yohaan that is. We have been terribly busy making hospital follow up visits for our man. At week five and again at month five, he suffered from seizures and both times had to be rushed to the ER. I remember those times, me hysterical and wailing and asking the doctors, nurses if my baby was going to die. Yes, raw pain does that to you. You dont think straight, you dont know how to. I remember each time his tiny body convulsed the nurses rushing to him, grim faced and working hard to bring him out of it. I remember hubster holding me tight and reassuring me that our man would live and he would live well at that. I remember breaking down when they couldn't find a vein to hook him to the various tubes and machines. The first time was especially agonising and the nurse had to order me to leave the room. Hubster stayed behind holding on to his son's fragile body so he wouldn't wriggle and thrash around in pain.

I stood outside the ER, crying loudly, tears of pain, helplesness, desperate to please God or bargain with him. At that point , time stood still, nothing the doctors would do was fast enough for me. Nobody was giving any answers. I heard terms like brain damage, oxygen supply cut, premature, hydrocephalus etc being thrown around. Untill the specialist on call made a snap diagnosis , that the baby was hypocalcemic and therefore convulsing. And her diagnosis was spot on. Nothing alarming, definetly no brain damage and curable! I almost kissed her in gratitude. She gave instructions for admitting him and getting him started immediately on calcium/magnesium infusion. We heaved a sigh of relief. We cried for 48 hours straight. Hubster and me. Maybe not him so much, but me as a mother was completely broken. My husband was stoic, brave and held up well because he saw his mad wife collapse. Ah, I do love that man, my pillar of strength. Yohaan was discharged after five days and things were right on track.

Untill he was five months old and his mother had like a fool stopped all medication. The convulsions came again. This time more in number and stonger too. As we rushed him to the ER, there was much history to support us all. Once again, the same protocol was followed although he took time to recover. Between these two episodes, we have consulted so many doctors, done so much research and been to so many hospitals. Made new friends, lost some . Realised the true value of a crisis and what it does to our person. Hubster and me have emerged so much more stronger. We have given up our baby to the Lord and know that we are only his caretakers here on earth for a brief while. And amidst all this who is the best of all? Our trooper, Yohaan. Pokes and pricks, bitter medicines, x-rays and scans, disrupted schedules and routines, student interns prodding him at unearthly hours, feeding sessions interupted and so much more and still this lil' fella smiles and smiles like theres no tomorow! Yohaan is easily the happiest, chirpiest baby around. Even with a canula splint he would be cheerfuly making baby sounds and smiling at all the staff at the hospital. Nurses would delight in him because he lapped up his meds. Visitors would be glad to see him still able to recognise them and leap at them to be held! This mother's heart is bursting with pride and awe.

And now, after six long months, yesterday his paediatric neurosurgeon pronounced him fit as a fiddle. He told us there is nothing wrong with him, espeically his brain and over all development. As I heard the doctor say these words, I almost choked trying to keep from crying. Hubster kept asking the same questions again and again , I think he was nervous and expected just something tiny to be still wrong! The doctor was confident but offered to see Yohaan after six months if it made us feel better. Kind doctor that!

To celebrate this awesome event, we picked up some yummy food on our way back, yayyy, I didn't have to cook. And lots of new clothes for our man. While I was picking out t-shirts and shorts for him, I must have told him ten times how much fun it would be if he was a baby girl, even hubster agreed on that, shopping for boys is almost boring! Anyhow, can't wait to see him in all the lawyer-like serious clothes his dad insisted we choose...I managed to pick up one bright red shorts though much to the father's shock! And so we came home with our hearts thankful and awed by God's goodness. For lessons learnt and for our baby surviving all of this. With a big goofy, toothless smile...always and for anyone.

Just a plain mamma....

2009-07-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

As I walk down the aisle of my local super market I spot her. I stop doing what I was there for and for a few minutes just stared at her. Perfect body, perfect skin, perfect manicure and a pedicure, beautiful floral summer dress which did wonders for her complexion, flawless makeup, the right shoes and bag, the mandatory blackberry and above all the supremely with-it attitude. I quietly admired her from far and moved on... to finish off my to-do list.

Compare all that to my state if you will. Straw like hair tied up in some unknown part of the head, nails cut sharp and cruelly short so that I don't end up hurting Yohaan, faded capris and an even more faded T-shirt which has some inexplicable stains on it, hastily applied lipstick which come to think of it, looks pretty incongruous....a huge handbag which immediately informs everyone that I am a new mommy, my sunglasses the stems of which have become so loose that it keeps sliding off my head at the slightest movement, unbathed, unwaxed, sleep deprived with a bad back and even worse pain in the wrists...hungry, coffee deprived, hassled because Yohaan decided to have a crying fit for some vague reason...a dangerous state to be in.

Now that I have it all out, I would like to inform anyone who cares that I am not having a pity party for myself here. I don't neccessarily want a manicure or a pedicure. I am not hung up on the latest bag although I do have several nice bags and shoes, I dont care for a new hairstyle because currently Yohaan tries his best to chew on it anyways, I am not going to pine for lovely clothes because most of the lovely clothes will make breast feeding in public a tad difficult, I don't want a Blackberry because errr, even the simple cell phone I do have is a major irritant at best of times.... no siree, I want none of those fancy things.

I want instead, more hours in the day, most of which I would like Yohaan to sleep. I want him to be more indipendant and stop clinging to me like well, a cling film I guess. I want him to know that daddy too can be a great companion when momma is busy and I want him to stop feeling bad for himself, the little brat loves attention and only from me that too! And I certainly wish he knew a bit of biology and realised that mamma has only two hands and sometimes needs to pee..urgently. And that if he doesn't let go of her, how in the world will she cook for him? Or get anything done for that matter. I shall not however miss the maid and am determined to stick it out. Yes for now the mighty may have fallen (snicker snicker) but we shall solve all the issues by sleeping them away....

*dust myself off , get up and walk away sans make up, pedicure,manicure....It's Ok, really!*

The one where everything comes undone...

2009-07-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

...and I should shut up and stop gloating about my beautifuly run home even though I have a small baby and not so great health! As of tomorow , I will not be employing a full time, live in maid anymore. It is a long, sad story in which I have been hurt and bruised beyond belief driving home the point yet again that we really cant depend on people because they let us down again and again. While the maid was efficient and served us well from the day Yohaan was born, we reached a stage when the price became too high to pay. She turned out to be a maid-from-hell and I am so relieved to be getting rid of her-at last. Half of my post partum blues wouldnt go away because of dealing with her tantrums and what not....! Anyhow,me and hubster decided that we can do away with a whole lot of comfort and luxury in terms of having a live in maid in exchange for peace and harmony at home. We had been trying to terminate her services from quite some time now, but kept feeling bad for her since she really is from a very poor family. But obviously, our help wasnt needed, our kindness and genrosity taken for granted and the final icing being us taken for a royal ride!

I have been busy like crazy the whole day...cooking,cleaning, baby sitting and I feel like kicking myself for letting go of the reins of the house completely...it was such an effort to get back to the grind...I am tired, stressed and need of a long hot shower followed by some good, Indian dinner. Am off to nag hubster now to take me out......wish me luck folks! I am the new 'avtaar', the new in house slave to Yohaan and his daddy!

For Yohaan at seven months today

2009-06-29T02:46:00.000-07:00

My boy is exactly seven months old today. Lying down next to me making baby noises as I quickly put up this post... it has been a great ride and I have survived pretty well so far.... a friend forwarded this sort-of-poem to me but we both dont know who wrote it or even the source... if any one of you readers knows about him/her/the source please let me know so I can quote them here, I am enjoying being a mommy too much and and am in no mood getting in to plaigarising hassles because if I am imprisoned for it (anything can happen in this day and age!) I dont want hubster remarrying and getting Yohaan a step mommy!! OK, with that taken care of , let me just get on with it. It is totally awwww.

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.! I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom .

The Hijab

2009-06-28T01:05:00.000-07:00

The French president Mr Sarkozy has ordained that the Muslim women in his land shall not be allowed to use the veil anymore... the decision has caused an upheaval all over the world, Muslim or non Muslim. I live in an islamic republic and have so many friends who practise islam. My Muslim girlfriends in particular, are immensly accomplished. Highly educated, well travelled and deeply intellectual. They come from all walks of life and it is an honour to be friends with them. I dont see them being forced in to covering up by anyone whatsoever! If anything, they are some of the most liberated women I have come across. No, I dont get distracted when I interact with them and no, neither does it take anything away from their lovely personalities. So when a decree like this comes from a supposedly politically and culturally enlightened nation like France, it makes me want to take sides.

It is said that the islamic veil is not a religous symbol but rather a personal choice and an effort to seek closeness to God and a certain degree of detachment from vanity, an effort to focus on the holy and the godly manners which might be pleasing to God. I say what is wrong with that?
Precisely if it is not even a religous symbol why should it bother anyone? I dont find it offensive or weird or reggressive or even remotely reminiscent of a millitant minded individual out to bomb us all! It is a personal choice, for godness sake! It is a dilemma for me because I cannot imagine someone coming up to me and ordering me to cover up! What I find troubling is the way France is going the Saudi way... dont we know the strict dress codes imposed on one and all in Saudi Arabia, we all disagree with it but cannot do much about it. Why does a country like France need to emulate them? I think it doesn't bode well. What I find reggressive instead is, that any government or nation, man or woman imposing rules on us and taking away the right to choose. I as a woman will decide the way I want to dress myself.

In the same vein, what is so great about showing skin like you dont even value yourself ? What kind of satisfaction does a woman get out of flashing skin and getting stares from all and sundry? Why would she enjoy this kind of attention? I for one, endorse the idea of modest dressing completly. It is something I admire and encourage young girls to adopt. It especially takes courage to take a stand and say no popular culture and to be able to swim against the tide. If I had a daugther I would be pretty upset if she felt admired, accepted, considered hip and modern only if she bared her skin! It would reflect on my parenting standards if she sought such thrills... to be admired for her brains, pleasing manners, skills, and intellect would make me feel proud to be her parent. It wont take rocket science to figure which side I am on!

So no, I dont think Sarkozy should have announced this weird edict. And anyways, I really feel he should focus on more pressing issues like a failing economy and loss of jobs and similar such stuff. Leave the clothes (or the lack thereof) to us women Mr Prez! Now now, nobody is forcing your lovely wife to cover up are we??

R.I.P MJ..

2009-06-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

I was/am a fan of Michael Jackson. I cannot name a single song or a video of his which I do not like ...and now he is dead! Just like that, gone! What a wasted life, such a tragedy and an example to us lesser mortals as to how we run from God and His desire to save us from our selves... despite his cuckoo behaviour, I admired this artist for making awesome music. An artist with a soul in turmoil, an artist who was his own worst enemy... the sheer talent, the mass appeal, the impact on millions of fans ...a whole generation which grew up listening to him, including me.

I am trying not to think of his last few years on earth. Instead, I am sobered by the thought , that life is indeed fragile and nothing we , possess or achieve can help us get that peace and freedom from fear which a faith in Christ-alone, can give us. I am blessed to be a christian and I wish Michael Jackson knew of the saving power of Jesus...neverthelss, I hope when the time of reckoning comes, he will find that God is just and able to forgive and accept us. Really, really wish you knew that MJ! Rest in peace dear one.

I AM SPEECHLESS.

2009-06-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Woke up nice and bright this morning. My little world perfect, neat and largely happy. My pretty house, the lovely garden, my large group of friends, my perfect husband (who, by the way, still has a job in these tough times) and a healthy baby...everything is in place. Domestic help, gardener and what have you- others working hard to keep me happy and at peace. My biggest concern in the morning is to ensure hubster gets to eat a good breakfast or what fruit to puree for Yohaan's morning meal or even wondering if husbster would be coming home late from work and if we can go out somewhere for the evening to relieve a little boredom. That's how earth shattering my average day's concerns can be!

Then I read this post ,

http://themadmomma.wordpress.com/2009/06/23/so-you-thought-the-last-hospital-was-bad/#comment-8001 and am plunged in to a deep despair. The mind boggles as to how can this/does happen in this day and age, in a country which claims to be a super power in the making! A country which prides itself on a rich cultural heritage, on producing world class engineers and IT professionals, doctors, teachers, artists. A country which has stunning diversity and the largest democratically elected government. A country which has a hindu and a muslim or a christian and a buddhist living together for generations...and yet Indians never fail to surprise me in taking the lead- in being one of the most apathetic races on earth. The sheer apathy and the callousness of our hearts is deeply, deeply painful.

I am no different, and that to me, is the unforgivable part.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

2009-06-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

How does your garden grow? Honestly folks, I wish I knew it myself! All I know is that I possess a ''green thumb'' . In the sense, that whatever I plant, thrives. I remember my mother asking me to help plant her seasonal shrubs and pots because she believed that those done by me would take root and grow well. I never had any interest in gardening per se but I would occasionally lend a hand. My gardener has often been spotted trying to suppress a smile because of my sheer lack of knowledge of all things green and because I may have asked him a particularly dumb question. *sigh*

Even now, I confess I do all the gardening and planting because I want my house and garden to look pretty. If someone told me that things would jazz up with some dog poo lying around and if I happen to like ''that'' look, I will go for it. I am aware as to how idiotic that must make me sound to you dear readers, but lets face it, I am house-vain! Nuff said.

For now do have a look at the lovely entrance of my house. I did it all up one fine morning, in a flash of brilliance and was given a huge helping hand by my maid, Sunita who enjoys home decor as much as me! She is brimming over with some lovely ideas for our garden and backyard and I can’t wait to try them pronto!

This is where we live.Welcome....!

My favourite corner, pots kept on a discarded glass shelf salvaged from our garage!

Another corner of our entrance...dried arrangements,desert style!
You likey?

The day I went green-2

2009-06-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

It was last year that I did a post on getting some plants for my house. I was pregnant and going through an intense nesting phase. One year on and I have been once again bitten by the green bug. I am on a mission and have launched on an ambitious project of landscaping my garden as well as doing up the front entrance of our house. Tara of http://tarabhatt.blogspot.com/ , a new blog follower of mine, has been encouraging me to put up some pictures. So here goes...this one's for you Tara! Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

The stairs leading to the bedrooms...

Small planter holding crotons...

Dont know what plants are these....

This one stands quite tall in a corner...

Me and hubster take our place along with the Giraffe here...

PS- Lotsa more pics coming your way people!

Please note: I do not know the names of any of these plants, except the asparagus ferns. So dont go testing my knowledge. I just plant whatever takes my fancy and suits my budget!

Fathers Day - Update

2009-06-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

Our man Yohaan has some kind of an internal clock within him. In my previous post I was wondering if he would wake up to meet and greet his dad in the evening. Well, he woke up just in time, I gave him some fresh orange juice and we were ready to go. Nothing like a fresh, cool drink after a nap eh? When hubster rang the bell we, that is, Yohaan, the maid and myself, scampered around frantically because in a bid to hide the card I forgot where I had kept it....anyways, managed to locate it just as daddy would have started losing his patience at the door! Dad was greeted by us at the door with Yohaan and me holding his card although our man was more interested in chewing the darned thing! I think daddy was suitably touched espeically seeing Yohaan's hand and foot prints...I wrote out a small poem taken from the net but could not locate the source :( so maybe I shouldnt publish it here for copyright reasons. Im not a lawyer's wife for nothing after all. We just about managed to take some pictures and then the little one promptly fell asleep again. Here are some pictures.

The card I made for hubster on Yohaan's behalf. Note the lil hand & feet prints.

Father and son...posing for my blog.

PS- I got nothing for mamma's day :(

Daddy's day...

2009-06-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

It is 20.30 UAE time and daddy is still not home. I and Yohaan have made a little card and some Kheer( Indian version of the rice pudding) for him because it would be his first Father's day!!

We are, rather we were very excited about the whole thing but for now Yohaan is already fast asleep on a full tummy! Yohaan tried to chew on the card and kind of sensed something different is happening. I got him ready an hour ago...massage, bath, pear and rice cereal - to be ready to greet his father in a somewhat decent mood...hopefuly when daddy arrives, we can surprise him! Incase, he does'nt wake up, I will just have to hand over the card on his behalf and try to take some pictures. Sneakily enough, I tricked hubster in to getting us some Indian takeaway!! So we can celebrate in style!

Watch this space for programme update folks!!

All's well within my world...

2009-06-20T02:39:00.000-07:00

So this whole of past week I have been on my own with just Yohaan and our maid. Funny how when daddy is not home, I smoothly step in and take charge. Including, driving his big huge SUV, which by the way, makes me immensly proud of myself. I run around getting all the outside work done and get a perspective on how much my husband atually does for our home, so it runs smoothly. Just driving around Dubai is enough to make me give him an award!

I had stepped out to get some last minute groceries but as I was driving back, I was hoping hubster would be home. And sure enough, as I stepped in I saw father and son sitting together with all the new toys and books which have been picked up from his trip abroad. The sight was supremely cute and my heart duly turned to mush. The two most important guys in my life happily catching up. The maid told me that ''baba'' as she addresses him, leapt in to his dad's arms as soon as he walked in! This is it. Every day is a new development. Untill last week, just before hubster went away, Yohaan did not really notice him especially with me around. One week later, he achieves another milestone- recognising someone else other than his mother! At such times, I hastily put away the sorely tempting thoughts of renting him out for a few hours each day. Wicked mamma, I know.

Much excitement, hugging, kissing, general squealing and a cup of coffee later, father and son are upstairs in our bedroom, sleeping it off together. I let him go, an important step for me , my boy does'nt neccessarily need me now to put him to sleep, daddy will do fine too, sometimes! As I close the door on them and soflty tip toe down the stairs I find myself thanking God for bringing back hubster safe home. That Yohaan did well with daddy being gone and that I didnt crash his precious four wheel. All's well within my world indeed!

Rescue me...

2009-06-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

My momma is mostly nice, but once in a while she is tempted to gobble me up and then she cribs about all the weight I am supposed to have caused her to gain!!

You dont believe? Can't you see how hard she is trying not to bite in to me...?

Random worrying

2009-06-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

Tell me, will I be considered a certified weirdo if I reveal the things which have been occupying my mind ever since I became a mom? Here, have a look:

* My son will marry and go away one day.... ( this triggers more reasons to worry)

* He will marry a girl I wont take an instant liking to....

* She will be a perfect pain in the....

*He will always take her side........

*She wont let me mother him....

*She wont give me any credit for all the nice upbringing he will have....

*She will always always always blame me for spoiling him for life....

*Together, my son and his wife will send me and hubster to an old peoples home...

Needless to add, my hormones have still not settled down even six months post preggers!

Disclaimer (not)

2009-06-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

So this mommyhood has me firmly in it's grip. I have been rendered pretty useless for any kind of normal adult behaviour and conversation. While this is not a standard apology, I feel I must really tell all my friends in this world who are not yet parents that guys, I am sorry for going on ad infinetum (sp?) , nauseaum (sp?) ( I suck at latin)- about smelly poo, puke, booogers, Cerelac, engorged breasts, cracked nipples, stretch marks, weight gain and it's sheer defiance to come off, sleepless nights, romance gone walking, hormones haywire and what have you.

For the life of me, I fail to understand that maybe most of you might not be even remotely interested in the aforementioned issues. So, for those of you who are missing the old Harshika, let me be kind and advise you that it will be a long time or maybe never, before you get to see her again....I find it difficult to think of non-Yohaan posts... and so today I went out for a walk to seek some inspiration for a non-baby blogworthy post and came back with guess what... yep, more thoughts of Yohaan and how much I missed him during my walk!!

No not sad really, but I did try and apologise already. Okay? OK.

And baby makes three!

2009-06-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

And am back! This post was meant to be done quite some time ago, last year infact, about becoming a mother and all that jazz. Yohaan happened, and how he happened! Life underwent such a huge change that I ended up imposing a sabbatical on myself and my dear blog! Six months on and I am still at a loss for words. But let me try anyways.

What can I say. Me a mommy? You bet, of little Yohaan, perfect and the cutest of all. Me a total mush, sleepless, smelling of all kinds of baby smells, still a fat cow, still pregnant-like, loads of stretch marks, bad hair, bad skin but oh so much in love that it can't be real. This mommy thing is unreal , I tell you. Possessive, fierce, protective, paranoid, dazed, prone to making first-timer mistakes and yet a Mommy! Sometimes strangely disconnected, disenchanted, resentful, longing for the pre-pregnancy romance with the husband, more sleep, more time, more hours in the day-or shorter ones depending on Yohaan's behaviour of the day...and still a Mommy! A state I longed for, prayed for- to become a mom...has come to pass. And I hardly have words!

Yohaan, you have given me this awesome privilege of becoming a mother. A privilege which comes with it's own set of resposibilites, a life time of worries and what if's, things to be taught and milestones to be achieved and yet, I would do it again and again and again. So thank you my darling son. How did I love so long without you?

You are six months old already! Where did all the time go? I remember holding you in my arms almost as soon as you were out of my tummy, with daddy standing nearby choking back on his own emotions...the kind doctor congratulating me and telling me I did well....what did I do really? You are the lil trooper my boy, through months of bad food and lifestyle choices, you lived to see the day! Mama didnt even feel pregnant, that's how unfussy you were while still inside of me. And when you did come home with us, you impressed us all with your calm, non demanding , content ways....prompting people to remark, that you are a remarkably contented and a reserved baby! Haha! How does figure that out though!

I would be honest in saying that these six months have been a huge learning and un-learning experience. How easy you have made it to be a mom, anything and everything makes you happy! Take the time when you fell sick in Jan 09 and again in May 09. Inspite of being hospitalised twice , you charmed the nurses and doctors, simply with the way you drank up all your medicines, as if it's the best thing mama cooked! You took it all in your stride, the endless pokes and pricks and monitoring, the hysterical parents, the record number of visitors who dropped by thus making you a famous baby in the children's wing, the scans and X-rays. You smiled and cooed right through. Way to go trooper!

I was apprehensive when people advised me that babies are tough to handle...the everyday mundane stuff which can drive us crazy. Yes , it has been tough, but you in your baby ways make it easy somehow. I have my mad moments, but it is almost like you understand and want to make it easy...tell me, did Jesus give you special lessons in good behaviour when you were in mamma's tummy? You are a special blessing cookie!

Welcome to our lives darling. Mamma and daddy love you to bits and although it aint a picnic bringing you up, it is absolutely, terribly, completely worth it. You make our sun shine. You give unending joy and hope...you make us want to be better human beings...and above all, you bring us closer to Jesus each day. So thank you. You are so on, son!

Oh Baby....

2008-11-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

My Darling baby Yohaan,

In approximately eight hours, your mama and papa will get to see you! Yes, yes yes! The doctor has decided to deliver you to us a little earlier than your due date of 24th Dec 2008. Never mind, I know God has made you whole, complete and able to be out and in our arms. Mamma and dada would like to tell you how badly we have waited for this day. You are a much longed for, prayed for and waited for baba and as that hour approaches , we can't wait to see you! The doctor has told us that mama will be operated at 8.00 a.m Dubai time, oh what joy!

We have had a quiet, restful day. Mama even went to get a pedicure, manicure and other such lovely stuff. Daddy asked me why? Well, I told him I want to look good for my baby, he laughed but indulged me anyways. I hope you too become a loving, caring man like your daddy.

Uncle Vinesh, aunty Amrita, and Amisha didi came to see us in the evening, everyone is waiting excitedly to meet you in a few hours. What fun , isn't it? Amisha didi's grandma fell in love with your nursery by the way, and I hope you like it too....

On the other hand, your own grandma's in Chennai and Varanasi are nervously waiting to hear of you too, not to mention Nana, Baba mama and Anjali mami and oh yes, Nandini mausi!! Gosh, you do have loads of fans already!!

Baba, mama is sitting now with daddy watching some TV passively, but our hearts and minds are on you to be honest. It seems as if both of us dont want to sleep tonight, I dont feel tired, just a strange kind of rush...a mix of nerves, excitement and a whole lotta love...oh baba, I am so waiting to tell you how much I love you already. I am sure daddy has his plans of doing so too...

Till then, hang in there our precious angel.... be good and scream, cry real loud when we get you out in the world, because that will tell us you are doing good dude, ok? OK.

Huggy, Kissy and God Bless,

Mama and Papa.
Dubai- 1.45 am

Thank God the elections are over!

2008-11-06T01:39:00.000-08:00

I am so pleased that the American elections are at last over. I have never had any interest in any nation's politics including my own ! I am convinced politics and the politicians are good for nothing, morally bankrupt lot. And nothing anyone of them ever does to prove otherwise, would change my views. Having said that, I am therefore very annoyed with the Indian news channels. Particularly NDTV, which is the only Indian news channel I follow here. Keeps me updated on whatever's been happening in my country. Not that it's great in coverage or content. I agree that Obama winning these elections is historic and all that, but I am so fed up with our news channels covering the victory like the world is going to end. Yesterday, as I saw off hubby for the day, I sat down with my cuppa tea and turned on NDTV and a few hours later wished I hadn't. We had our regular folks on NDTV, frantically covering the campaign as it ended, the casting of votes and Obama and Mc Cain making speeches back and forth. All the correspondents spent long minutes telling us that Mc Cain had made a call to Obama, well he lost, and that is what protocol involves- the losing candidate has to make a phone call to congratulate etc for cyring out loud! One phone call being expounded upon for like 45 minutes!! I am not against them covering it as an important news item, but it went on and on ad nauseum! I kept wating patiently that the some Indian headlines would make the news but no, it seems there was nothing else worthy of reporting!!

I am happy for USA, seems like the majority got what they wanted. But NDTV pulled out all stops and couldn't bring themselves to give it a break. Over and over again, international relations experts were called in to give their 'expert' opnions on what would the election of Obama mean to us Indians? Kashmir, Pakistan, Outsourcing, CTBT, immigration, H1B visas...all old issues on which USA will bully us anyways, regardless of who is in power. As if the Republicans or the Democrats care for the Indian nation or any nation for that matter! Do I as an any other average , ordinary Indian really care? Athough, the way NDTV goes on covering it even now as I write, one would imagine there are some folks in India and the Indian diaspora who do care maybe. I found myself cringing when one of the news correspondents was asked by the anchor at the head quarters in New Delhi, if she thought one day an American of Indian origin could also make it to the Oval Office!! Huh?? And if indeed a day like that dawns in USA, so? Why is that important to us? Because anyways, that person would have ceased to consider him/her self an Indian, would consider him/her self completely American and so we too shouldn't have to feel pride or whatever, if he/she gets elected to the highest office of America!! What has happened to the media these days?

Dont get me wrong. I admire USA for all the usual reasons. Freedom of choice, democracy, ideals of liberty, security and individual freedom. There is much to learn from this great nation, but I truly need a break from my own Indian channels tripping over themselves covering an event 24/7 which wont make an ounce of a difference to me or my neighbour next door!

Edited to add: Well maybe to make me feel better, sometime towards the evening NDTV finally did show us a clip of Uma Bharti ( an Indian politician) slapping her party secretary...trust our Indian politicians to keep churning out drama and entertainment for viewers like us! As for me, I am wondering which news channel to switch my loyalty to, at least untill this Obama furore dies on NDTV.

My way or the highway..

2008-11-06T01:25:00.000-08:00

When I met my husband six years ago and fell hopelessly in love with him, all I could think was why isn't everyone else too in luuurve??

When we finally got married three (very long and tough ) years later, all I could think was, why doesn't evryone just get married??

When I finally decided to quit work and be a full time housewife , all I could think of was why dont all women do that too??

And now that I am pregnant and expecting my first baby, all I can think of is why isn't evryone not pregnant too??????

Oh goodness, this is not me judging anyone for their choices, these choices have made me so 'bleddy' happy and content that I want the same joy for everyone, that is all there is to these thoughts...I want everyone to be full of joy but suddenly I realised I am being too presumptious in assuming that this is the way to be happy......

Then again, why isn't everyone in luuurve, married and pregnant pray tell??

Hospitality

2008-11-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

I and hubby absolutely love having people over to our place for hanging out and no visitor is allowed to leave without a meal if we have our way with them! :) Even before we were married , we had decided that our married house would always be open to everyone and I am glad we have managed to keep that going. Much of it we inherited from our own parents especially our respective fathers who loved entertaining and yes, even unannounced guests were welcome to sup with us anytime of the day.

From how we look at it , is that extending hospitality to guests is a part of our heart, our ministry as a couple, if you will. We love to serve. We cannot imagine saying no to anyone, no matter how inconvenient it could get. So we have entertained and provided for people even if it has meant cancelling our own pre-planned appointments, driving out of the way to pick up folks who dont own a car or are lost, staying up really late at night, cooking with dietary needs in mind and the like. When we invite people over we take great pains to clean, cook and serve with great joy and excitement. Hubby spares no expense in getting the best produce, especially if arrival is expected, but, even if it is unannounced, I ensure that I produce the best I can. We make sure our house looks neat and welcoming, the towels and the toiletory laid out in the guest toliet, colours and books for any kids expected, good music, good lighting, comfortable ambience and of course as good a menu as I ,with my limited skills can manage. Mostly we dont even notice if we have been thanked and appreciated although almost everyone always does. I know we have friends who love visiting us, who enjoy our hospitality but ever so often I also notice that it tends to overwhelm some folks. They either get embarassed or plain ignore our efforts-eat and just leave!! Or what about guests who have abused our hospitality blatantly? I cannot go in to detail about this misusing our hospitality part because it calls for a seperate post. I have had family members and friends who have been invited with great love and who have in turn left us cold with absolutely no show of any feelings once the party's over! I am not saying my guests need to gush and go on about how lovely everything was , even if I say so myself :) , but come on show me some manners!!

If I have been invited to someone's place I would be atleast polite enough to thank the host and compliment them on the food offered to me. I really have no idea how to react to people who come and leave with not even a small thank you! Has anyone come across this kind of weird behaviour? One very close relative was visitng us with her family, it was a surprise visit but I managed to cook up some nice stuff for all of us. Laid the table with my best plates and napkins et all. All long as I was cooking, she kept commenting why was I getting so bothered, why was I cooking so much -which is fine, I appreciate her concern, maybe she was embarassed having dropped in unannounced. But not once did she offer to help me out and when she fnished eating, she got up and walked off from the dining room. I was left to clear all the plates and dishes. Now in the Indian culture, we dont really expect our guests to remove their plates etc, but she was family!! I feel she could have offered at least! Later, when she left, no thank you nothing. See, my point is ?Ofcourse I didnt expect her to go ga-ga over my cooking, which is nothing to write home about anyway, but it is all about remembering our social graces! I will continue to have visitors because I love it, but once in a while an insensitive guest leaves me hurt and bewildered!

Then the other week we had overnight guests from out of country. Again, we went all out. I made sure the guest bedroom and bathroom were spic and span with pretty linen, flowers and accessories, basically the works. I should have probably not bothered because these folks trashed the guest room before leaving! I couldnt help but think that my house was literally used like a cheap hotel room! The bed was left dirty and unmade, towels and scraps of paper, plastic bags from their shopping left on the bed, pillows thrown around somewhere(?), the bed side lamp left on, toliets wet and messy with shampoo bottle left opened, toothpaste gone (somewhere?) the bed side accessories like candles and stuff moved away and left on the floor to make space for their personal belongings like specs,loose change etc....the curtains drawn and windows open inspite of me warning them of dust storm outside....topped off with no thank you as they left our home. Is this how we behave when we visit someone's home? I take great pains to keep a neat and a pretty house. That is my pride and my calling and I am taken aback when guests like the one's I described cant figure it out and dont seem to care! It is a simple matter of being considerate! Goodness the number of times I must have checked and re-checked the guest room for any signs of dust, dirt, clutter and discomfort! And I would like to add that I am heavily pregnant amidst all this. I tried not show my dismay to my husband , but I think he knew it and even before I could say anything at all and he immediately apologised for his friends' behaviour. The friends in question are not bachelors although why should that be an excuse for living like a pig in someone else's house pray tell? They are married and I wonder are they not learning anything from their wives? My mother always used to say that I could teach a lot to my husband around the house. Just like we teach our children, husbands too have a lot to learn or shall I say un-learn from their bachelor days. Like, taking a small gift for the host, offering to help the lady of the house, not being loud and obnoxious and bossy in a social gathering, complimenting the hostess on the food etc.

Thankfully my husband is very well groomed, but yes, there have been so many changes that I have brought in to his life and his lifestyle....he appreciates a clean house, a pretty house, a fridge that always has food for visitors, a guest bed which is always ready to be used, fresh linen, a willingness to cook and serve no matter how tired I am, a pot of tea and snacks always available, these are qualities which we always expected of each other and so I also know he wont be behaving like some of our guests have done :) when he does visit without me, because trust me, I am not letting him get away with teen like behaviour such as that! Not that his mother did not have all of the above qualities but he shows me his appreciation that I as his wife , also carry on the important tradition of hospitality. How about some folks doing their bit as guests when they visit us? Cant help but generalise that we women do add that extra bit of sensitivity and chivalry to our men folk eh? But on the other hand what about my rude female relative? So really, this must be about our hearts not our gender maybe? Some of us just dont get it !!

''As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord'' Joshua 24:15 reminds me that I must carry on, whomever we serve , in whichever manner, we must as if we are serving the Lord!

Excellent...feeling better now.

Life as a mommy...

2008-10-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

I am not a mommy, not yet anyway. While I wait for my little one to arrive in just a few weeks time , I am frantically reading up stuff on www. My favourites are the dozen or so mommy blogs I religiously follow each day. I agree with some and disagree with many! Given that I am a christian and would like to keep the Bible as my reference point for ALL parenting issues, I still do find myself agreeing with many secular /non-christian views on parenting as well. Children are a blessing from God and we parents are to bring them up in Him alone. In my mind there is no better or any other way of bringing up children than the way pointed out in the Bible. If we fail to do that, we are bound to pay a price for it. Since I havent yet become a mother I know that I am not in a position to comment upon any one mother's style of parenting. Or her life as a mom! So no this is not a judgemental rant.

The reason why I chose to write this post is because of this phenomenon I have noticed firmly established in the life of some new mothers around me. I have two friends who have children below four years of age and they have stopped living! That's it , as simple as that. The first friend , lets call her D, has a toddler who is almost two now and she doesnt live! What I mean is that, there is no life for her apart from caring for her child. That in itself is not the issue here, but we are talking of 24/7 obsessive caring for her child. That is also fine, because this is what mommies do isnt it! But this friend does not go out, does not have friends, discourages visitors, does not visit either, doesn't go shopping even for groceries and takes out no time for her husband for a single evening once he is back from work! The day starts with the child's needs and ends with it. The other day I commented to her, how can that happen? She said to me ''well, he is demanding and on a strict schedule, so if I go out for an evening that gets disrupted and I cannot enjoy myself''. I was amazed at the response I got from her. Somewhere in this answer I sensed a feeling of burden that she carries around her! I have no doubts that she is indeed a fabulous mother but often I get glimpses of her being tired of mothering. She chose it to be this way, probably convinced herself that this is the way it has to be. She told me that this phase wont last forever, a maximum of 3-4 years and then she will be free! Free of what, pray tell?? I thought when you become a mommy you sign up for a lifetime of worries and tears along with the incredible joy of being one! So see, this is where I make my point. Why make it a burdensome chore in the first place? Why cant things just flow as long as you are instilling the core values in your child and setting an example yourself? Why should mommy's life come to a standstill because bringing up the baby is being perceived as a hassle. Ofcourse they are fussy, whiny,hungry,pukey and what not but why should that stop you from living your life? Ofcourse the baby might throw up just as you are about to go out for a family outing, he/she might throw a tantrum in public or mess the diaper-yet again, but why oh why is that a problem? Why cant you still go ahead and enjoy an outing for a change. If you make it sound like a huge deal, the child will sense it for sure and soon it becomes an unending cycle of tantrums, clinginess and fussing. I know motherhood is a full time job but surely we owe it ourselves to have some semblance of life , a time when we take a deep breath and let go. I dont know if this is really tough, I might start feeling like her myself, but really I think not. I dont want to be harsh here. On any mommy!

Then this other friend S, is a very new mom. And she too has stopped living! She is always in frantic state of disarray and helplesness. A full time maid, her mom moving in with her for a few months, helpful husband and the works and yet she is totally out of her elements. It does happen to all new mothers I am sure, but this display of sheer incapability amuses me more than anything! Six months down the line and nowhere even remotely near getting a life! I know I am sounding harsh, but she has indeed taken mommyhood to new heights! She has stopped having friendships completely. The few handful of friends that she had, have all been aliented . Phone calls are not made nor returned, baby news and updates are not shared, sickness , developments and milestones not shared...the list goes on. As of today, I have no idea how is she doing, what is she up to and more importantly how is the baby doing! When friends call, they are asked to call back because she is busy with the baby, requests to visit are turned down on some pretext and even gifts are refused! So it is not for want of trying that I feel like I have lost her friendship forever. Hubby tells me to let go, to give her the benefit of doubt as not every new mother feels up to the huge demands being a mother makes. I try to, but it is not easy. When she was pregnant, I was a very hands -on friend, always there for her and now when it is my turn to have the care and presence of loved ones around me, I cannot even call her. She doesnt even know my due date!! Im sulking? Yes I am, I am hurt. But I can move on.

Which is why I say to moms like her, please get a life, move on and be of cheerful spirit, children are a gift from God. Dont turn their arrival in your lives as a reason to stop breathing! Involve, evolve and go with the flow. Take this opportunity of becoming a mother to show the world the miracle of God's creation! To shout His praises and proclaim His goodness. Surely becoming a mommy is not a prison sentence!

Get a bloggy makeover at...

2008-10-13T02:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.mahjabeenumar.com/blogdesign/ this lovely lady does blog designs and makeovers....! I got to know her very recently and am maha excited that she lives here in the same town as me....woweee, I am giddy with excitement as to what all changes she can make to my blog....I better get it all done before Yohaan arrives!

And she blogs too!! Hillarious stuff too!

Go over to http://maygandutp.blogspot.com/ and http://mahjabeenumar.blogspot.com/ and have a few laughs...have fun!

The day I went green...

2008-10-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

I grew up amongst people who love gardening. My mother, aunts, friends of my parents, just about everyone I have known back in my home town loved plants and greenery. I remember the love and care my mother lavished on our garden and over the years she grew an enviable collection of beautiful plants around our house. My mother even talks to ''her babies'' as she refers to them! Me and my brother did not particularly share her love for gardening but we did admire her efforts and knew it meant a lot to her. I am sure she gave up on us ever developing an interest anyways. But off late I have developed a deep interest in plants myself. Ever since we bought our own house, it is as if I am seeing a completely new, read, domesticated side of me. I always was house proud but my efforts to do up anything around my parents house was always met with a resistance by my mom. She would tell me to save all that effort for when I would have my own house and be my mistress. Oh my mom kept a a lovely home with her limited resources and did not take kindly to her ''domain'' being tampered with! I remember I used to sulk when she would not let me change a cushion here or a table setting there. And I resolved from that time that I would keep a beautiful house and a pretty garden. Little did I know though that maintaining a garden and keeping indoor plants is not an easy task and requires considerable research and knowledge not to mention physical labour at which I am errr, not particularly great at. One of the gardens that stand apart in my mind is that of a colleague of my dad's. Aunty Nigam, as I address her, has the most awesome garden in the world. She has a deep abiding love for her plants and it shows. So while she is my dad's colleague and friend first, my mom shares a wonderful relationship with her simply on the basis of a mutual hobby and love they have for gardening.

Got married and came to the middle east where the heat could kill us humans, leave alone flora and fauna. OK that is a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. So while I managed to do up my house in Sharjah very prettily, I was still not succeeding with my greens. Everytime I picked up indoor potted plants for my house, they would end up drying up and dying. It used to upset me a lot till I gave up. But then we moved in to our own house and I realised I was longing to see some greenery around. With the house came an already very nicely maintained garden so all I had to do was get some greenery indoors. Pestered and pestered my husband and gradually he started giving in to my demands. I started with 3 potted plants ! And praise be to God, somehow I managed to develop a green thumb and hit upon some excellent ideas as to how to keep them going! The guy who sold me those three plants told me to keep the AC on as much as possible. It was a bit of a worry because I mean , how can we have the AC on always, because, I end up feeling cold and keep fiddling with the temp control all the time. Nevertheless I tried the trick and it worked. In two months time, my baby plants were thriving so much that I needed to replant them in to bigger pots! Yayyy! Cant begin to tell you what joy I get when friends who visit , tell me my plants look so well cared for. It is especially nice coming from visitors who do have a considerable knowledge about gardening etc. This is also a tip from me to anyone who is remotely interested , plants are a relatively inexpensive way to do up your house. Some of them might be expensive, but look at it as an investment and they last for agessss!

So today, it ws time to nag the hubz again and let me tell you, being pregnant has such obvious advantages!! He never says no to anything now a days, he he he! And the sneaky ole' me took advantage of this and made him drive me to this huge garden centre in Dubai and boy! i freaked out or what! I simply went bersek. Imagine a mall espeically and only for plants and trees and all things green. While we were driving there, I uneccessarily explained to my hubby that I want to leave a green-legacy for our baby....whatever that means! I mean Dubai is quite a synthetic place and wouldn't it be nice if we could get our child interested in nature from a young age. I can assure you hubby didn't really need all my explainations! He was just happy giving in to whatever ''craving'' of the month I seem to be suffering from. So anyways, this month it is plants! And like I said I went madddd! I only recognise money plant and some standard palm trees. But here I picked up some very pretty plants of various kinds, mostly indoors. I loaded the trolley so much that my husband remarked '' are we buying groceries?'' I will put up pictures as soon as I can. Cant wait to share them here! I now have some amazing stuff for our living room and lots of them for the bedrooms too. I immediately got to work as soon as we came home and the master bedroom lespecially, looks such a place of tranquility....amazing what just a little touch of greenery can do to a living space. We also bought some accessories, actually my husband was quite excited and he chose the garden accessories like a ceramic frog, some stones, rocks etc. I also picked up a little fat clay birdie and am imagining how will Yohaan react seeing all those animals and birds outside when he grows up enough...anyways, I am beyond excited now and am so enjoying the look these plants have helped me create around my house. Thank you Jesus for making such lovely things on this planet. How did you know we humans would receive much comfort and joy from witnessing your creations. And how did you know it had to be the colour green?? Ah, you are such a perfect God!

We also went to the Fab India store and bought stuff for our bedroom to go with the Indian theme and colours. Ahhh, it all looks so pretty! Maybe it is the hormones but I am in such a nurturing mood nowadays. I feel maternal towards all living beings. My house currently gets a lot of ants visitng it- God only knows from where and how. Even as go about ex-terminating them I find myself feeling bad , mad I know! Then a funny thing happened at the garden store. I pointed out the lovely cacti plants to the hubz. He asked me to pick up some. I replied ''what if Yohaan gets to them and hurts himself?'' , it was then he gave me a ''huh? look''. A little too early to be baby proofing the house eh? Must be the hormones!!

Love thy neighbour as thyself....

2008-10-06T03:36:00.001-07:00

I was just about to shut down my laptop and take my afternoon nap when I spotted my neighbour. Not like I spotted an alien or something. She lives a quiet life and minds her own business and all that. I dont even know her. Some evenings I can watch her cooking , sometimes busy in her garden which overlooks mine, all the usual daily stuff. But the way I see her now is troubling me. Why? Oh nothing illegal or shady happening here. You see, she is out on her first floor bedroom balcony sun bathing. In her two piece bikini, out in the horrible middle east sun and heat! I am stunned that some one should do that ...... itis none of my business I know , I know! But I so badly want to go and tell her that surely so much of ultra violet is no good for her skin! That this heat is not for real! That she will burn errr like a bacon if you please.... I am brown (and proud by the way) and my Indian skin can handle all this sunny business, but her fair caucasian skin is got to be more sensitive ? Maybe she is from some sun starved country like Finalnd or Norway or something, but oh , I want to go ask her if she is ok? I am fretting for her while she is happily sunning herself away with a book and a big bottle of sun tan lotion. I want to give her all sorts of dire warnings about the hazards of this kind of heat etc.

But the fear of breaching her privacy, getting reported to the cops and then deported has stopped me from being too neighbourly and so I am going to sit here and blog! Imagine, being arrested for something like that ! The cops here are very likely to arrest anyone for just about anything and everything! And imagine being labelled ''that nosy neighbour''...! Plus we dont want Yohaan and his daddy to be embarassed...by my well meaning but unwanted neighbourly concern.

Oh if God would honour my prayers for baby Yo!

2008-10-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

My sister N has already nicknamed Yohaan as baby Yo... methinks it sounds cool, dont know if he will agree to it though, we shall see.

I am up to my ears with frequent scans, doctors visits, strict monitoring given my high risk pregnancy, medicines, jabs and what not...everytime I have to get blood drawn , everytime I feel a pinched nerve, everytime I see a high glucose reading inspite of my best efforts, everytime I feel queasy and just bone tired, the nights when I lie awake unable to sleep , I think back to the days when I actually longed to feel all this so that I could feel the joy of being pregnant. How I pleaded with God to let me experience all this and more, so I could be a mom some day...and while it has come to pass, there are days when I crib! How ungrateful is that! By most average standards I would say my pregnancy has been smooth sailing. No worries, no complications given that I have diabetes! I am doing well, by His grace.

I and my husband sometimes wonder whose look will Yohaan inherit? Will he be a cute looking handsome little boy? Will he be smart? He teases me, hoping Yohaan doesnt get my nasty temper or my stubborn ways, I tease hubz in turn hoping he doesnt get his dad's too laid back-lazy (according only to me!) attitude....but then, we need not worry. God has already designed and ordained every bit of him physically, emotionally, spiritually....Him being the designer, I really must let it be!

But oh, if God would honour my prayers for Yohaan's soul:

That baby Yo will one day accept Jesus into his heart, live a blameless life, and love the Lord with all his heart, soul, & mind. That one day the Lord Jesus will look at him and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master" (Matthew 25:21).

I would feel the utlimate goal of becoming a parent would be fulfilled if God were to answer this one prayer of mine...hey, all the mommy to be's, start praying that prayer now!

Pregnancy update

2008-09-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

On the 27th Sept we went for our final scan to check whether Yohaan is growing fine and fit. It is called Fetal health and development scan. No doubt I will be having scans more often now, but this one was a biggie. So off we went and as it usually happens in Dubai, was happily caught in a traffic snarl. And we waited and waited worrying that the hospital wont take us in if we were to be late....they make a very,very,very big deal if you reach late even by a minute and then routinely punished by being made to wait for an hour to get your turn back. Well, I called the nurse in advance to warn her and although we reached about 10 minutes late, we found ourselves waiting one and half hour with my bladder bursting! I mean, really bursting! I had been downing glasses of water in preperation for the sonography.

Never mind all that, we had a nice Arab doctor, who was slightly elderly so kept repeating all her findings twice, thrice! And Yohaan is doing great! So pleased am I. His size is still ahead by a week, as is his head size, but nothing to be woried about as the doctor kindly pointed out to me ''well, you have a big head''.....errr, hello? What about the coconut headed daddy standing around looking pleased with this info!! Daddy just smiled cheekily while I tried to point out to the doctor that it is not me, it's him!

The scan was very thorough, with the doctor mumbling her ''Mashallah's'' . Yohaan seemed very active that day , probably sensed that mamma needed to pee badly, who knows! He mostly refused to cooperate and wouldnt show his frontal face to us...so the doctor couldnt really check out his lips, nose etc. He kept putting his hand over his face. The scan also took a long while and I remember feeling drowsy and even bored! In a little while, I actually tuned out and found myself noticing the doctors nicotine stained teeth! I know I am supposed to get majorly excited everytime we have a scan and see the little one, but I think I am nearing that stage when I am just bored and feel people should move on and not talk of the baby all the time. It is weird I guess, but I blame it all on the hormones...anyway, all is fine with Yohaan and me.

Around 10 weeks to go and I cant wait...in the mean while Yohaan kicks, rolls, swishes and hiccups. Also, enjoys soft ballads and classical music every time we play it in our car. He seems to be eating,sleeping and doing everything else he is supposed to be doing well.

What a wonderful, wonderful God to have blessed me with this pregnancy!

India!!

2008-09-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a comment on a blog from a foreign volunteer working in India amongst the poor and the needy. Very commendable and all that. But a statement from her infuriated me no end....the commentator called India and my hometown, Varanasi beautiful and ''ugly'' in the same breath!! Apparently, she went to many places and this was her finding on most of India. What's there to be annoyed about you might ask me?? Well, on the face of it nothing really. Any visitor to any xyz country is entitled to his/her own opinions and really, that should not bother us. Why then did this commentator manage to get my goat? Well, firstly because, she is a christian and therefore one would assume have some semblance of compassion and senstivity towards a country she has chosen to work in, on a voluntary basis that too! And secondly, because just like any nation of the world , Jesus loves India!! As simple as that. That nation, with it's more than one billion people, it's flora and fauna, it's languages, it's pulse- all has been ordained by God Himself and no human has a right to denounce it or any country for that matter, in a derogatory manner.

I am Indian, so naturally my hackles are raised on this commentator's views. But really, I am an expat too, living in the middle east. I dont serve in any ministry and I havent gone all out to be charitable and all that here. But I do love and respect this country. Which expat in this world finds it all easy and nice and ''like home'' ? It is not easy being uprooted, displaced and away from ''home'' but any amount of trouble, hardship or feeling of alienation does not give us a right to bad mouth the country we have chosen to put down our tent in. Me and my husband have a very comfortable life here, but that does not mean we are really ''home'', does it? We are aliens, foreigners, expats call it what like. These synonyms dont sound very good to the ears does it...We have had our share of problems and issues settling down here, but in this fallen world, which nation on Earth can claim any form of superiority on the basis of religion, world class medical care, elderly care, education, physical appearances, science & technology, per capita income,safety & crime, moral and social fabric , taxes etc? When we choose to make a particular country our home, please lets accord it respect and affection.

Experts and professionals volunteer to work in some of the world's most dangerous nations, but would negate all their good work if they were to bad mouth that very nation. I have had one foreign worker say to my face that ''India is like a toliet'', I was saddened and shocked. What kind of christian service and heart do you bring to a country which you think is like a toilet anyways? Does God think so too? I seriously doubt that. I am so sick of expats not just in India, but even here in Dubai who have no words of praise but constantly crib and complain about expat living. I am pleased to note that they are all in the process of migrating to whichever country they ''perceieve'' as being more suitable for them. Good luck and good riddance I say! One of the fruits of the spirit is to display patience, why cant we show some of it to whichever country we are living in? This is especially for expats who have volunteered to live and work in a particualr country....even if you haven't , please stop being petty and a spoilt brat and give it all a break. God loves every country and has a plan for every one of them. How dare we stand and denounce any of His creations!!

Whatever our lot, Prasie be to God, because of Him, it falls in to pleasant places!

Oh My God....!!

2008-09-22T07:10:00.000-07:00

It is with great pleasure that I come back to my blog !! My last post was on 8th June 08....with promises to myself to keep this blog going , to give myself an outlet to vent more than anything else. But anyone will notice, I slacked off and didn't get around to posting any new stuff....so much for those promises! Well, as all my friends and family know everything happens for a reason and so it with greatest awe and pleasure I announce that Joey and me are expecting our first baby!!!!!!! And it's a boy! And we are naming him Yohaan- meaning God has blessed. Indeed He has and that my dear people is the reason for my long absence.....this pregnancy was most unexpected, well rather expected but still a huge shock nevertheless! I have been hit by a host of overwhelming feelings and it became simply too much. This space got neglected.

Now as I am more settled and in my final trimester I realised I must keep this going although this blog will become more of a mommy blog now!! I would like to thank a fellow blogger Mad Momma at http://thebratthebeanandbedlam.wordpress.com/ whom I absolutely adore and love to read. She has been such an inspiration from the day I bumped in to her blog a few months ago, right after my pegnancy was confirmed and I was surfing for baby related blogs. There are many others I read but she has kept me most inspired to become a fabulous mother that she herself is!! Thank you mad momma! You rock!

I will now be posting regularly, every little bit that happens to me, my husband and my Yohaan, as we preapre to become a family that Christ has ordained. My heart is awed and filled to the brim with the sheer joy of becoming pregnant...another post is called for detailing my testimony, as to how I did become pregnant in the first place, battling infertility for a year and a half. I hope it will be a comfort to those who are in the same boat as I was once. My heart goes out to such couples more than ever now. I shall continue to uphold you in my prayers and ask you to do the same for this mommy to be , the daddy and little Yohaan.

''Give praise to the Lord for His love endures forever''

In Him, forever grateful!

Worthy of thought and action...

2008-06-08T04:59:00.001-07:00

"If you please Jesus, it doesn't matter who you don't please; if you don't please Jesus, it doesn't matter who you do please." ~Adrian Rodgers

Setting Home

2008-06-08T04:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it is never ending...the sorting,packing,moving,unpacking and putting things in their right place! We packed,we moved and 10 days on , I am still nowhere near the spotless bright loving home I had envisioned....hubby is blissfuly ignoring the un-opened crates and the huge piles of mess and disorder all over....I asked him last night ''is any of this mess bothering you?'' and the sweetheart that he is , just shrugged his shoulders and said a simple ''no''. But that does not stop me from feeling guilty, very guilty indeed! After all, he didnt stop going to work and continue to deliver his best inspite of our house move! What excuse do I have for being so full of sloth! I just dont seem to have it in me! Any ideas? The Bible has some very strong views on being lazy and the Proverbs 31 woman continues to haunt me day and night! Ah! When does it get better???

A hassled home maker!

New Beginings II-Fast Forward 2 years on...

2008-05-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

Well, we have bought a house!! Yayyyy! We are proud first time home owners, dh and me are so chuffed! It is a semi detached three bedroomed villa, huge and lovely with an excellent garden at the back. We could have bought a super luxurious appartment with that money, but one look at the garden and I breathed to dh, this has got to be the one for us! I have never before lived in an appartment, but for these last 2 years after having moved to UAE. Im used to large airy,open houses back in India and then in UK. So now I am going to relive my dream of a proper house with a GARDEN!! It is indeed a big deal to me although I must confess here, I have no gardening skills whatsoever! But I plan to rectify that and hire a part time gardener and dream of making my garden a haven for myself and hubby and for all our friends to enjoy.

I am giddy with excitement and in my eagerness to be hands on , move -away -this -is -my -new- house attitdue, I have bravely refused hubby's offers to hire help to clean up the place...I shall do it all on my own before the packers/movers bring over our stuff. Fortunately, I do enjoy cleaning up any areas which are not up to my own personal definition of cleanliness...so am hoping the new house wont be much of a problem. Thankfuly , the previous occupiers have left it in mint condition. Hubby dear has been subjected to a lot of harrasment when I embark on one of my cleaning and sorting frenzies. I admit , I am a bit mental when it comes to cleaning of any type and I have a feeling hubby dear has given up on me. I am worried about being a slacker though, ever since I quit working some 3 weeks ago, I have been such a sloth ball! I just cant seem to pick myself up and do anything around the house. A new excuse I have started giving myself is that we have to move anyways now,why bother cleaning up! Imagine! So I sit here blogging, while there is a pile of laundry begging to be done...sighhhh!

But today again I am begining to feel stirrings of what used to be the ''old me''. I do plan to wrap up all my to-do list of chores and then look forward to the big move come Thursday. I shall clean,scrub, sort,throw away and pack up. This is a promise I am making to myself....my point of quitting from full time employment was to be a home maker and a good one at that....if I want to be that then I better take advantage of all the time the Lord has given me to be just that! Combined with my cleaning skils (I kid you not, Im quite proud of it) , I should be able to kick slacking out of the house.....

I shall be back with an update as to how the packing moving and settling in has been. I think we wont have net connection for a few days , but then it is good because I seriously need to get my act together!! Here's to new beginings.......!! All glory unto Him!

New Beginings!!

2008-05-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

Hello people, I would like to first of all say how much of a privilege it is getting to stay in the United Arab Emirates! Such an awesome blessing from God. When we came here, hubby and me were starting a new life together as a newly married couple. I still remember the overhwleming realisation that I was well and truly on my own now. Responsible for not only myself but another adult human-my new husband. His breakfast-lunch-dinner, his shirts, vests, his health, his stress at workplace, his favourite activities,his likes and dislikes...get the drift?? :-)

I followed him to Dubai from India after being apart for six months while he settled down here and made arrangements for an appartment and my visa. They were the toughest days so early on in our marriage! But we all know Who sustains us all through tough times, is'nt it??

As I walked out from the Dubai International Airport, the heat and humidity of the place hit me hard and I began to really doubt if Dubai was indeed ''the place'' as my hubby dear had been telling me regularly during our frequent phone conversations....just like the Israelites in the book of Exodus, I started cribbing and whining to him! Why do we have to live here?? My poor husband who had taken off from work to come and fetch me from the airport, kept calm and said the magic words...''wait till I take you shopping'', that calmed me -only a bit though!

We were soon on our way home, a temporary accomodation till we got the keys to our own appartment in a day or two. The Dubai cabs are luxurious! Air-conditioned ,clean and efficient...however, in my ungratefulness I didnt even notice all this. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and my lost baggage! Imagine , starting a proper married life and no bags! No luggage! No pretty linen which my mother had lovingly made herself for my new house, no spices-special packets which my mother's cook(she also doubled as my nanny and so I love her as a mother) had taken weeks to prepare once my departure was announced at home! I was indeed travelling like a typical Indian housewife from the olden days, when a new bride would pack up dry spices and food stuff to take to her husband's house and cast her magic in the new kitchen! I was so looking forward to doing things my way-finally! Dreaming of doing up my house , had kept me going through the long months of distance from hubby. I missed him so! And now I was here with him , tired, hassled, annoyed and definetely no where near grateful to God for travel mercies....it all comes back to me now, nealry two years on when I am living a pampered,cushioned and protected life!

Our new apartment was in this really lovely neighbourhood....and when I walked in, I immediately felt good! It had such a good vibe to it! I imagined how it would look when it would lovingly decorated and be full of beautiful smells from my kitchen! But more of that later...to add more to my already bad mood, hubby had to literally dump me at this empty appartment and go back to work since he was too new to be taking too much time off! So off he went and I sat with a temporary mobile connection with my hubby leaving instructions to follow up with the airline office to trace my baggage!

The appartment was bare....but I still loved it. In the evening when hubby came back, we had nothing to do but to step out and grab a bite....by this time I had calmed down completely. So we went out and over night my perception of UAE chnaged!! As I walked down the road to hail a cab, I was amazed by the lush greenery all around me! The hot and heavy air notwithstanding, the neighbourhood has so much natural beauty that I was stunned simply seeing the blessingsGod has showered in this so called desert land! How can it be so green..i kept asking hubby! How can they cultivate so much!! The pavements looked as if a rich green carpet had been lain, soft green and so beautifully trimmed! Why had'nt the harsh heat and sun scorched all this lovely flora? Then I noticed something even more striking...the men! Most of the population here, about 75% of them are expats . A study reveals that expats from a staggering 200 nations are currently living in UAE. But what I noticed was the respectful distance and lowered gaze men keep here around women! This was refreshing change from India, which is unfortunately not very woman friendly! I felt free and liberated! I again mentioned to my husband, ''the men are so decent'', he agreed with me! It made him aslo feel good that I would be safe on my own where ever I would visit, while he was at work!

The evening ahead was full of sights,smells and activities! The evenings here are something else. because of the day long heat, men, women and children stir out in the evenings. People rushing around getting their groceries, children playing soccer, moms and their toddlers walking along the corniche....you can hear thousands of languages around you! I noticed with delight so many Indians around! and even better, so many Indian supermarkets catering to our fussy ways! Ask me!! I know the lengths I would go to just to get the right kind of semolina to make ''halwa''-an indian dessert made from semolina, milk,sugar and almonds and cardomom! And so here I was very very happy that my cooking would go on just the way it was meant to be! Traditional, spicy,authentic and yes, very Indian!

And amidst all that my life here as Mrs Johnson began! I was finally able to see that evening, how blessed I was to be here. That God knows exactly where we are meant to be and places us there to enrich us more! I regret all that moaning I indulged in the day I landed here. But God has made it such a special journey since then! When I met my husband, indeed even when I hadnt met him, I always fet called to be a home maker and a mother. I desired nothing more out of life! How awesome that God brought me to a country where staying home is encouraged, being a good wife is encouraged, becoming a mommy is considered to be anhonour, submitting to the head of the house ie father or husband is encourgaed, being modestly dresed does not make me an alien, talking about God and relgion is not considered politically incorrect-infact- it gets you accepted better in the society even if you are non-muslim! The Arab culture is so family oriented and so warm, I have never once felt out of place here! Coming from a similar culture In India, settling down for me has been so easy! How could I have ever doubted that God had brought me to a difficult terrain! I have made friends from so many countries that it is mind boggling! I have had the privilege of sharing the gospel with them! I have had a chance to do a comparitive study of Islam and Christianity, something which would have probbaly never interested me if I hadnt come to the Middle East! This is the country which has given us friends and a lovely church! This is the place where there is so much potential to work for Christ! This is the place where we are putting down our roots now.....indeed my lot has fallen in a pleasant place! All glory be to God!